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2004-12-06 06:39:15 PM
vhold

I think what monster87 is expressing his disillusionment to the mythos of Rosa Parks. In school we weren't taught such a blindly obvious applicable piece of information like that she was a member of the NAACP. We aren't taught an image of a politically active woman. We are taught the image of a much simpler but determined woman who out of nowhere suddenly got fed up and changed the world. The iconic story is about an any-woman, how anybody could change the world given a just cause and deterimination.Of course the fact she was politically active prior was never _hidden_, but for some reason it is commonly omitted. You can't help but think it's to help support that pop image of her. It does affect her 'icon' status, on a personal level, to be disillusioned in such a way.Especially when you consider that the NAACP in the region may have already been considering a bus boycott, her personal act, while still important, doesn't have that same air of mystery and magnitude. It seems plausible that it was orchestrated to put things into motion. That's -definitely- not the kind of Rosa Parks that has been iconified.Also, lawyers suing over the use of her name for billions? What the? That's pathetic. How are we eventually going to stand up to these lawyers? Boycott law? Hrmm.


I think the fact that she was active in the civil rights movement beforehand makes her story even stronger, because it makes it more of a guiding point for us who do want to be politically active. The idea that you just go along cow like and maybe at the right moment get fed up is a charming myth, but if you actually want political change, you're going to have to work for it. I'm not saying I'm miss political action of the year, but the whole myth that has been built up around the civil rights movement and other movements that one or two people did one thing and everything changed is a pretty destructive mind set.

It's almost as bad as the mindset that says a right once granted can never be taken away. Basically I think both of these myths make us sort of passive, sort of 'well, everything's fine" and that's not the way we need to be. I read about and see people trying to make revolution everyday.

I'm reading No More Prisons and the author is like "You know what? I'm hitchhiking cross the country, I'm walking in the country's ghettos" and that's a revolutionary act- to be able to face your fear and say to others "there is not so much to be afraid of in this world as we suppose". That is a valuable lesson, I guess. Although I still get the heebie jeebies if someone walks behind me...

This post is about the real reasons that whites are conservative, and this post is about black self image. I know that when I was a kid, I could shake folks talking about my bookishness off, because I cheerfully believed they's all have to work at gas stations. Yes, kids are dumb. Anyway, I totally lost control today and called this girl a pussy(although I don't think they knew what I said). Because seriously, so you saw some fucking Hispanic laborers, no need to lock the car doors and get all heeby jeeby, and plus, who the fuck told you that that was an appropiate thing to say in public? White folk, keep it to yourself. We really don't wanna know.

We all have quirks. For example, if I have a problem with something- I find it therapeutic to rant, rave, cry and curse the universe. If I have to be stoic, the problem will never go away. For example, let's say I'm in a bad mood. If I curse the world, cry about the unfairness of it all, eat some ice cream, and read manga under the covers, I will recover in an hour. But if I have to put on a good front, it eats at me, and that mood may last for weeks.

So when learning about racism and forming my racial idenity, it is useful for me to curse whites, and say they should be horsewhipped, and driven into the sea, and I can't believe they are all such immoral cunts. Generally in real life, I don't mind whites, well, ok, I mind them, mostly because I mind all people. I am slightly frightened of other people. So today, this white girl decides to ask me a bunch of questions about our stats lab. I am really nervous. Also, I talked to this black girl, also about our stats class, and was also nervous. I am nervous around all people.

But the point is....well, I forgot what my point is. Of course, my coping with learning of the great unfairness of the world may shock some. I have difficulty understanding this, because it sounds like a bunch of whining to me. I mean, black folks are supposed to be repairing all the damage from years and years all by ourselves, with no help from anyone, and they have plenty of help on being decent people.

I look at all the problems, and I feel like the guy from emory's counseling center. He was basically like "I got ten cents, and some magic beans. What am I supposed to do?" He was saying that and people weren't constantly coming into the center and being like psychologists are all quacks or having a million little hassles like it taking a million years to get paper because people are like "why do YOU need paper?", "You really don't need paper anyway- I mean, what would you do with it?" you know- just trying to chip chip chip away at your little self concept.

Basically what I mean is that we got a lot of work, and a lot of it would get a lot easier if whites just took a little bit of time to try to be decent people. For example, so I am reading on the internet, and these people are working hard to act like they have some sense. They aren't acting like babies. They are trying to think their way through these issues. It's not that hard.

There are disturbing rumors that the banana is going extinct. Also, this could be us, if we don't take care to protect our right to an abortion. Also, I read the last book of Happy Mania, which is the only manga I have read that can use a facial(and by that I don't mean a beauty treatment) as a character development device. (after this, spoilers) I really loved how Shigeta was stuck at the same place that she began at the end. She is wearing a wedding dress, which apparently is the standard she is supposed to chase, what all those love affairs were supposed to be for, and she says "I want a boyfriend". The theme of the manga is how one can chase happiness, but it never gets you anywhere, because there's always something bigger and better on the horizon.

Basically, the character chase what they have been told that they want. For Shigeta it is a butterfly in your stomach, knee shaking romance, for Takako, well, it's a happy home life- but after turning to deceit to get it, she realizes that that is meaningless. The holy grail is empty and made of tin here. At least Shigeta realizes that she likes the chase.

Crazy antics aside, Happy Mania is a pretty serious manga when you think about it.

I love the country lolita style. If these dresses weren't so expensive I'd buy them. I guess I should look for american imitators. My strawberry skirt from In the StarLight does look a bit country, so I guess I am compensated. I really like prints on my lolita clothes.

Also, at Mouse Words, Amanda tries to explain all the crazy mess that has been going down what with oppressors acting like they have been victimized. I think it's all mass hysteria myself, similar to when people in bumfark that don't got anything anyone wants are convinced that wild eyed Arabs will attack their town at any second.

Also, some guy tries to talk about post racism, which seems to be a really fancy way of saying that these people are ignorant douches. I could see if they were kids, but by the time you get 25, you should have some sense in your head or at least attempt to use some logic. I don't care whether you have never seen a black person in your life, act like you got some sense.

Then again, I bought two pairs of stockings today. I totally can't get over how warm stockings and jeans together are. I bought strawberry stockings, and cherry stockings. I'm addicted to cherry patterns nowadays.

I am shocked that Tom Brokaw noticed that he had white skin privilege. Like most whites think that their lives have to be perfect and wonderful before they can say "hey, I got privilege" but it's not so much your life being all candy and ice cream, as just a little edge on certain things. Also, you get free reign to some things, like having temper tantrums over stupid stuff. Blacks aren't allowed to whine about real issues, let alone whether they can go around calling people insulting names. I wish I had that Ampersand comic where the white guy is like "There's a lot of nice, non racist reasons that I want to call black people the n word", because that one was really funny.

Also, some Koreans are talking about possible cures from umbilical cord stem cells. I seriously think we should research the whole kabang. Worrying about stem cells and abortions is just another bunch of a mess they use to control people. If the religious right cared about babies as much as they claimed- they wouldn't be for blowing kids up in Iraq, and would actually care about poor mothers.

I need to learn how to do makeup. My new lipstick is too harsh for my complexion(and my complexion is closer to summery than usual for this time of the year!) , but it was only $1, so I am not bemoaning the lack. However, I never did learn how to do makeup. Here's pictures of two asians in flashy makeup. Also, in Soul Food, there are some really good makeup jobs. It's so hard to get good cosmetics for people of color. Bitch magazine had something in there about that.

I'm finished with the interesting parts of One Drop of Blood, as I simply don't care about his stupid family. All in all, a good book with many interesting tidbits, although too easy on modern whites at the end. Maybe because I come from a race with members who say things about it that wouldn't be out of place in a Klan rally, but dude, you should be able to turn your critical thinking on for example, the whole us poor whites are soooo victimized, we are sooo oppressed stuff, as well as you turned your critical thinking on the mass hysteria during the 1890s that caused massive lynching sprees.

The belief that dominant groups are oppressed is a sort of mass hysteria, in my opinion. They feel their identity is threatened, without knowing that those things are kinda symbolic. There's a huge difference between saying that there should be 24 hours in which men don't rape, and you know, raping a woman. One is a symbolic threat, the other is a real threat. Guess which one is considered higher priority.

I like how in this thread there's a guy who is like "Look, you have fucked girls who are way way uglier than these." which is a true statement. Even if every guy says he'll only fuck a girl who is an 8 on a 10 scale and above, the truth is that 50% at least will be 5 or under, and the same with guys. Some guys are Denzel Washington and others are Cedric the Entertainer. Do you think every guy who looks like Cedric is going to just sit around, never getting any, or is he going to have some fun?

Also, some pictures of

This post is just to remind you to read Silver Rights, which is logging conservative fronts that lie and say they are for black folk. Of course, I wonder just why they can't have authentic organizations? Maybe it's because most of us are smart enough to know that just because they have your face plastered all over TV, that doesn't improve the lives of people. There are many many blacks who work to actually help people, but you don't see them on TV, because they are working in their communities, not making some white people look good.

Here's an article about John McWhorter. I like how it makes the point that most black folks, not just those getting rich off of bad mouthing other blacks, like hard work and thrift. Another good point is that many whites are mediocre, yet get all the good things of American life, and so, it really makes no sense at all that blacks automatically have to be better- whites are accepted at all ability levels- whether they can barely string together a sentence, or whether they are about to be awarded the Nobel Prize for really clever thinking. So that's what I want. I don't want to have to work three times as hard to get the same respect. I just want the same respect that other folks get, and those other folks don't even work for it, either.The thing is that I want actual equality, not provisional acceptance, if you do this, if you do that, etc.

The thing is that if we had real equality, and there was no racism of any kind, no one would be listening to McWhorter's antiquated ass, because there wouldn't be a push to make excuses for white behavior. Of course, the idea of searching people because of their skin color would seem crazy to people in that world, just as we think the concept of searching people because they have different eye colors or ear lobe shapes seems weird. Also, whites wouldn't have a concept of themselves as white, so they wouldn't be able to oppress people.

What I mean is that if they didn't think that their skin color entitled them to certain things, and disentitled others to certain things, there would be no desire to oppress others based on skin color. So they would merely see any racist lies as ridiculous, and not crave to believe them. It's like if someone came up to you, and said "people with blue eyes kill more people than people with brown eyes, and so people with blue eyes should be all locked up". You'd hear it, but it wouldn't stick in your mind, because you'd have no desire to believe it. You certainly wouldn't vote based on that piece of information.

Of course this is just me trying to avoid doing my statistics, but it's always good to think of utopias when you are young, so when you get older, you know that there are possibilities. Like I'm really shy, but like, if I can dream of a world without racism, I can dream of a world where I am more outgoing,eh?

Here's an article about John McWhorter. I like how it makes the point that most black folks, not just those getting rich off of bad mouthing other blacks, like hard work and thrift. Another good point is that many whites are mediocre, yet get all the good things of American life, and so, it really makes no sense at all that blacks automatically have to be better- whites are accepted at all ability levels- whether they can barely string together a sentence, or whether they are about to be awarded the Nobel Prize for really clever thinking. So that's what I want. I don't want to have to work three times as hard to get the same respect. I just want the same respect that other folks get, and those other folks don't even work for it, either.The thing is that I want actual equality, not provisional acceptance, if you do this, if you do that, etc.

The thing is that if we had real equality, and there was no racism of any kind, no one would be listening to McWhorter's antiquated ass, because there wouldn't be a push to make excuses for white behavior. Of course, the idea of searching people because of their skin color would seem crazy to people in that world, just as we think the concept of searching people because they have different eye colors or ear lobe shapes seems weird. Also, whites wouldn't have a concept of themselves as white, so they wouldn't be able to oppress people.

What I mean is that if they didn't think that their skin color entitled them to certain things, and disentitled others to certain things, there would be no desire to oppress others based on skin color. So they would merely see any racist lies as ridiculous, and not crave to believe them. It's like if someone came up to you, and said "people with blue eyes kill more people than people with brown eyes, and so people with blue eyes should be all locked up". You'd hear it, but it wouldn't stick in your mind, because you'd have no desire to believe it. You certainly wouldn't vote based on that piece of information.

Of course this is just me trying to avoid doing my statistics, but it's always good to think of utopias when you are young, so when you get older, you know that there are possibilities. Like I'm really shy, but like, if I can dream of a world without racism, I can dream of a world where I am more outgoing,eh?

I was reading One Drop of Blood, and I was reading the part where he discusses the desire of prominent whites in the early 1800s to send free blacks to Africa, as they felt that blacks wouldn't be happy because of white prejudice, and I was amused, because just like people today, they didn't think of the obvious solution- get rid of white prejudice. I mean seriously, that's got to be less expensive and time consuming than sending people over the sea.

Also, I haven't read the entire book yet(I'm on page 195), but I think reverse discrimination might not get a hearing, as there are important concepts to cover. (see amazon for why I am mentioning this) Dominant groups are wimps these days. I mean, people died for the rights they are whining so hard for being taken away. They lost the war, and they'll just have to adjust. The slaves were freed, women can vote, Native Americans are full citizens, blacks won basic rights, martial rape is illegal, and so is date rape, and women are allowed to work outside the home, even if the pay is not exactly equal.

They do not have a claim at all to subjugating other groups. The other groups had the claim of justice, and shared humanity on their side. I think that's why they are so whiny- they don't have a leg to stand on. There is no reason at all, that others should be weaker. They only desire it so because they can't improve their own groups. The ones who are improving their groups aren't crying.

I mean, don't you see the many Christians who instead of crying about how they can't make everyone pray in school, are helping the homeless this Christmas season, and more importantly, all year round? Don't you see the many men who instead of crying because they think they are owed women's bodies, fight for reproductive rights, because they live in the same world women have to live in, and if women are in bondage, they can not be free? Don't you see the whites who instead of worrying about the competence of one black person while ignoring the massive incompetence of many whites, actually know what the word racism means and how to fight it? Of course, the majority of those groups are crying, and I hate to see people co opt the work of the decent people.

If you want to join the greater humanity, great, work hard, and show your stuff. But if you want to cry because you don't get what you thought you were entitled to, fuck off. Now, you are not entitled to more than the rest of us. Man, that made me think of the old song "Like a Rolling Stone".

Like in it, Bob Dylan(who is who I remember singing it) has a really triumphant sound to his voice. This person used to be on the top, but is on the bottom because of pure hubris. Of course, that's not like the actual situation. The groups are still on top, but you think you had consigned them to camps, by the way they are wailing and gnashing their teeth. Oh noes, they say, I might have to act like a decent person- all is lost, all is lost. And the sad part is that many of them try to say they are superior to other groups.

Oh, we are like this and that because we are so much better. Well, if you're so much better, then you should be able to beat us without a head start and with one hand tied behind your back. I guess they aren't so sure then. That's why I say they are wimps, wimps,wimps. They have a head start, and got ten thousand other advantages, but they are still scared of equality. I mean true equality, not this pussy ass let's make a bunch of excuses shit. If you're scared, fine, wimp, but don't take the country down because of it.

Here's a RED ALERT on the latest conservative lie. Note that they can't win any points without lying. And then they try to act like they are moral. Hypocrites.

Also, I don't get the idea that we should act like all whites are not racist just because a few are. I mean, sometimes I hear black people annoying everyone by saying that gays are taking over, or that gays are against god, but I'm not saying that just because there are black people who are gay rights activists or advocates, those people automatically aren't homophobic jerks. I mean, the whites that aren't racist did the work, and acted like they had some sense. Why should whites that are lazy and refuse to act decent get the same consideration just because they have the same skin color? They just want a free ride on the decent people's backs. And then they complain about preventing childhood malnutrition. HYPOCRITES.

Also, here is an interesting idea that I have thought before, but is articulated well. Basically, it's weird to compare all the blacks in the US to the top people from Asia who have immigrated. The US would be more likely to take someone who was a doctor in their own country, or is a college graduate in their own country and will work on an HB-1 visa, than someone who is a peasant who works in the fields. So there's a selection effect working there, whereas they aren't just sampling the top blacks to do our stats. It is doubled as many of the people who were smuggled aren't on the radar, but most blacks are. (of course, I am meaning native born, not foreign.) Of course things like that don't matter to people who want to rush to calling blacks stupid and lazy, but for the more sensible people, it should work.

Separated at Birth?

Angelic Pretty In The Starlight.

Hmmm...

White Racism Black "Racism"

Double Anime Trouble!

Glasses Girls "Upfront" Girls.

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2004-11-24 01:37:44 AM
MBK

To white people who complain that they can't use the n word to other blacks, why would you use it in the first place? You've had your 400+ years to say it, and karma is coming back to kick you square in the nuts. /isn't white,nor black, but carmel

I agree, and am sick and tired of white folks acting like that's a real issue. Just be nice people like you're supposed to be, and if you can't, tough titty.

I have a theory of conservaweenism. Basically, before blacks, women, Hispanics, Asians, etc were allowed more access to success, really mediocre whites could get by. For example,when smart and educated blacks were stuck being like a teacher in a segregated school, or maybe they'd own a insurance company for blacks, the stupid whites could advance more because there simply wasn't as much competition. But now the field is open, and they have more competition(and now they are competing with the world, too). So instead of A)looking at what they can do to improve. B)seeing the ways that rich fat cats are fucking them, they use minorities and women as scapegoats.

If only women were forced to be barefoot and pregnant, they wouldn't be able to compete with me for spots in college.... If only workplaces were de facto whites only... so they spend all their time fantasizing about times past rather than trying to blaze a great future for everyone.
Sad. But let all of us smart and decent people work hard on having a better future.

Steve Gillard gives us a story on a bunch of idiotic weaklings that instead of spending their time in a worthwhile or fun way, wasted their time terrorizing an interracial couple with a burning cross. Sure puts the whiners who say any attempt at justice is racism in perspective. Oh yea, and there is one of those gutless wonders in the comments. He's too much of a wuss to even sign his name.

Also, speaking of wusses, some pussies vandalized a girl in my Emoryread (we tutor kids) carpool's house some time ago. She lives in Connecticut. Anyway, apparently these losers wanted to fuck up an expensive ass house and get sued just because some people are Jewish. Why don't they get lives?

On a more upbeat note, here is a woman wearing clothes that probably cost more than your last house payment. I really want her socks, but they probably cost like thirty bucks or something, and that's not even with shipping from Japan.

John Kerry wants adorable moppets to have health care. Awwwwww.... I love that godless commie! Not wanting kids to die of preventable diseases! What crazy thing will that John Kerry think of next?

Here is a moving Salon article that I missed, but is really great- on women who let other women into their homes so they can get abortions, and move on with their lives. We rarely see anything beside the abstract. Too bad our right wing neighbors don't read the stories- they won't hear about this 11 year old who couldn't have a baby at her age, or the immigrant woman who speaks little English, but still wanted her life back. An interesting thing is that the series is called "heroes of freedom". This is what I mean by heroism, not killing children or badmouthing people.

I haven't been book blogging much lately, although my reading has remained steady. Anyway, I got Hollywood's High Noon by Thomas Cripps for like $4, and it was good, although he sometimes argued against arguments I had never heard of, but then again, I'm not a film studies major or anything.

I also read Andrea Dworkin's Heartbreak. Man, she has the sort of prose style I really favor. She really loves going off on beautiful idylls in that lovely clear prose, and then bringing it back to some horrible horrible thing. Although from this book, I have compiled the following list of what Andrea Dworkin hates: Allen Ginsberg(she thinks he was a total pedo), teachers sleeping with their students, especially if they knock them up, and have to pay for illegal abortions, child abuse, prostitution(she alludes to doing some herself, but does not go into detail), porn, and people who insist women are always lying whores.

My theory of Andrea Dworkin and porn is that she just hates the actual reality of porn. I'm all for porn, but only really this idealized version where no one is exploited, etc. I guess it's pretty unrealistic, now, and was more unrealistic then, but I hear we have more woman positive porn people nowadays, so it can be done. I'm not saying that the mainstream porn is now all well and good just because a few people went behind the camera and made better porn, but at least there's a vision of a possible future here.

People are saying some good things in this feminist rage thread. I have real difficulty with understanding that the white males actually feel oppressed, because it is so calculated seeming. Like they were studying the Third Reich(sorry, but Gobbels and the Big Lie is what I can think of right now, I'm really sleepy) and decided "Yea, we need some of this. We don't need to stoop to small lies, what we need is a lie so far outside of the bounds of objective reality that people will just believe it without questioning".

I mean, real oppression is all around, and they are spending their time obsessing over hypothetical blacks getting jobs? If whites were really that impacted, we wouldn't hear about how their brother's room mate's girlfriend's brother didn't get into Harvard, and like there was a black person on campus, so OBVIOUSLY they are a total idiot and couldn't have possibly say...studied, and of course, there aren't any stupid white people on campus- just being white apparently makes you smart,qualified for all jobs, and as a benefit, you have x ray vision, and if you're a man, your penis is prehensile.

Then again, I don't think your race actually has anything to do with your intelligence or qualifications, and I do tend to make the mistake of automatically assuming that people aren't racist. But seriously, it's like this with Christianity too. Like they act like they are oppressed, because they might have to pray quietly in school instead of having the teacher lead it, or like maybe they'll teach science in science class. But people, people, people, when the presidential candidates are fighting in the debate to see who can pander more to Christians, and millions of young people are risking getting STDS, because real sex ed might offend people of your religion-that's not oppression.

It's like they say in the thread- when you're used to being pampered, not getting exactly what you want NOW seems like the worst thing in the world. So like I'm used to blacks getting bad mouthed from everybody, so like some mild forms of criticism don't phase me, so it's bizarre to me to suggest that maybe whites may have a bit of a problem with racism, and have people act like I suggested killing all the whites in the entire world. Or like maybe a woman will suggest that maybe women should have rights, and she is called man hating. A man could rape ten women, kill twenty girl children, all while saying "die you filthy whores" and not be called woman hating.

I just don't get it, so to me, it looks like they are a big fat bunch of pussies. And I don't like wussies.

Farker Quote:


2004-11-19 01:39:48 PM
djtripod

Beatle-MattIf African-Americans enslaved caucasians, sold them like property, passed laws that said they counted as 5/8s of a person, murdered their civil-rights leaders, and after hundreds of years THEN made a movie called "White Chicks" roughly 40 years after passing rudimentary civil-rights laws, well, yeah, that would be wrong.


A note: A person can be an 'uncle tom' two ways. A)They can support racist policies/people in return for their own advancement. B)They can wittingly or unwittingly be used as cosigners for white racist thought. People may be confused by the criticism of blacks who do things that hurt the black community. The thing is that the black community is not just a random word- many blacks do feel that they have a community- that we aren't just individuals without any connection to each other.

I simply can't explain the disconnect between the two philosophies- between the idea that no one has any responsibility or connection to others, and that we do have responsibility to each other. However, the second feeling is why people get called uncle toms- people feel that they have failed in their responsibility to others. If you don't have a concept of responsibility to other people, I lack the ability to explain it. Hopefully someone who is better with words knows how.

I'm recovered, and ready for action! I would urge you to find out what pharmacies in your area have good policies on letting pharmacists refuse medicine to people, and if you find one with a bad policy, write them a letter! I'm affluent so can easily just drive to another one, but a poor woman on her lunch break may get fired if she has to drive around looking for someone to fill her prescription for birth control. I think access to medication that our physicians have prescribed for us should be a right, not something to be taken away at a whim. Make pharmacists do their jobs!

Also, on a more fun note, people on the EGL community are showing everyone just how bad it can get. This post showcases EGL don't's, this post talks about sad EGL mimes, gawky EGL, a dress from hell, with a much improved look included to give hope, horrid horrid caplets, immortal square dance Loli, bad lolita? YES!, and the start of this bad lolita trend.

The I'm Sorry website is great. Basically, the 49% are apologizing to the rest of the world,and saying they are going to fight harder. Also, some of the world is responding back saying "Yes, we see you, keep fighting". I feel better now. Like we really can't ever stop fighting for justice. Someone who was way cleverer than me said the price of freedom was eternal vigilance. So we must all fight hard for America to live up to the ideals we set.

People are fighting. Please fight with us. One way you can fight is to send a letter against the Refusal Clause. We simply can't let health care be degraded, just so some rich people off in Washington can get a few more votes. Here's another random cheer: "Power to the people, because the power of the people don't stop". So like there, go out and fight.

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2004-11-16 11:28:17 PM
TheGoblinKing

You know, we really make jokes about the sharp knees thing and all that, but Net-porn really has in all seriousness messed up a lot of guys...some of you have so totally lost perspective. It isn't like that in the real world guys. llarken is very attractive and she's real...you can't take your computer out to the movies, or dinner, or flirt with. You can't take it to meet your parents, or play monopoly with, or say 'wow, you look great today'. And this might sound like heresy to some of the more sheltered guys out there, but you certainly can't have sex with your computer.So please, go get some air. Then, go to Starbucks or a club or something, and try to mingle with real women for a while. You'd be surprised how your 'standards' will change.

(Hear! Hear! You got that boys?)

Condi's great, and all, but I'd like to address an issue. Just hiring a black person doesn't make you not racist. Not being racist makes you not racist. I'm not a black conservative, so I'm not so easily swayed by such displays. It's easy to put some black people in- but will your policy be good? That's what I wanna know.

And I'm glad someone decided to hate on folks who are all like "we're soooo loli core!" Just because girls in Japan wear it doesn't make it much different from American fashion. People wear the style because they like how it looks, and their friends wear it, not because they were chosen by Mana himself to be avatars of cute. Even if every kid in America wore Loli style, I'd still like it. It'd certainly be a better style for a twelve year old than the prostitot look. I am all about sexuality, but some of those kids need to cover up. Then again, this is the same girl who got lectures for wearing short shorts to the fair. But at least my mom apologized, after seeing all them rolls that full grown women were displaying. So I guess I can't even pretend I didn't wear some slutty clothes, although the fact is that I was slightly more modest than other girls.

S.E.X. Bitch is an awesome name for a clothing line. Also, I would not use a glass dildo. I note that they have no dildos for beginners... These shoes are adorable, but I would never buy $50 shoes, even if they originally were $200. Also, the Soul Food website. The Teri wallpaper is my wallpaper now.

A Fruitsy flamewar.

I simply don't see the big deal. I mean, seriously, this is a Livejournal group based off of people looking at magazines of Japanese street fashion, and deciding they wanted that style. So Gwen Stefani did the same thing? Who cares- I could see if they had slaved ten years making original garments by hand, but picking up cute accessories off ebay does not qualify you to say what people should wear.

People complain that the fashion won't be fun if everyone else is doing it. BS! What makes your style unique is you. Express yourself in your own way that is good for your body. Put your own spin on the fashion- a good style has never been about just slavishly copying someone else- it's about putting your own spirit into your clothing- about transforming yourself through your appearance. Even people in uniforms find a way to put a unique spin on their clothes- and just because some pop star bounces in and sings a song about clothes, all the sudden your fashion isn't fun?

You must not really love fashion if you can't find a good way to break the mold just because some blonde lady jumps around on TV, get a fucking grip! ...Then again, I'm a bit harsh. Many people are teens on that group, so they will be a bit less confident than older people. However, come on. Fashion is fun if you make it fun. Put some energy into your fashion!

Yay! More Studio Ghilbi stuff coming out in 2005~! We're all winners.

An outraged classmate of mine read this article out loud, and I nearly passed out in shock.(Not because she was shocked about our school looking snobby, but not real issues, of course) I didn't even know that Seven was a brand name until I read the article for my self. However $150 for jeans?! I've been beating my self up for spending a lot of money on clothes, but I've been getting handmade clothes that are unique for less than $50 or designer brand clothes(like Tripp, etc) for less than $30. It takes me about 2 or 3 outfits to get up to $150, sometimes even 4. I can see paying a bit more for clothes that are handmade and unique, but just getting regular old jeans? Maybe it's because of my anti pants bias, but how can a pair of jeans be worth $150? Are they made of gold or something?

I like expensive fashion and all- I love this shop. However, note the dresses that are cheaper than the jeans the girls are buying, and they are all custom made clothing. I don't see how you can get custom made clothes from a designer(apparently) less expensively than regular old jeans! It just blows my mind. I love clothes and since high school I have been spending like $200 a year on clothing,and I thought I was doing good- I love clothes. Of course, I've always been a bit of a clearence shopper, and my clothing buying binge has mostly been ebay, which I love. I got this dress which was on clearence for $11, for $9, $14 w/ shipping. Since it was an online clearence I would have paid more with Hot Topic's high shipping. This dress is brand name item with good styling. You don't have to pay an arm and a leg for clothes, people! Give me a break.

I really have no sympathy for conservatives. I'm sorry, but areas of study studying humanity are going to be more liberal, because it is popular to try to have new ideas. We've already heard "Whites are superior" "Women don't deserve to be studied" ,etc. That's old news. The new hotness is to study all of society. So the orientation is anti conservative- conservatives make up some idealized society, and pretend society really is like that, and get mad when reality intrudes. Liberals look at the real society, and then make up an idealized society that they want to make it into, and since the liberal approach involves looking at the actual society first, you'll see researchers of the actual society being more liberal. Maybe conservatives should look at the actual society first, and then have their idealized conservative vision of it?

An interesting weirdness here is the assumption that university professors don't have real world experience, usually parroted by conservatives- who think that telling teens not to have sex will prevent teen sex, and that shooting people's brothers and sisters doesn't make them filled with anger and desire for revenge.

My personal experience is that some of my professors will mention god, or something, but not in a conservative way. Basically, they personally believe in their particular god, but you won't see them lobbying the school to not teach evolution or to ban the worship of people who have other gods. My favorite professor from a political viewpoint was my sociology professor. He was probably liberal, but sometimes he'd pretend to be conservative so that we'd see both sides.

Of course in my college, we also got real sex ed in health class, so what do I know? An interesting point I see is some people's math bias here. Like apparently if you do something with numbers, it's automatically more important and better than if you do it with words. Of course, an intelligent person would note that psychology majors don't have to take a statistics class for nothing, and that many social science disciplines back up their theories with hard numbers, but in slagging off anyone who wants to actually learn something about the world instead of just parroting a bunch of BS you don't even know is true, that gets lost. I wonder why.

However, I always wonder why conservatives even bother whining about this sort of thing. I'm black so when I talk about real problems, I get pull yourself up by the bootstraps. However, a bunch of fat cats that get respect even though they can't think worth a lick expect all sorts of special privileges. Hey, guys, why don't you just teach at the Bob Jones Universities of the world and leave the decent places up to us? I mean, separate but equal is better than the separate but unequal you want for us.

Do your god damned job, pharmacists. I just don't get it. They don't want to have to pay for 'welfare queens' but do their darnedest to fuck up everyone's reproductive health. From abstinence only education as if Susie the cheerleader is going to not just decide "Oh, well, I'm in love! We'll get married anyway"I'm one of the lucky ones. My mom didn't fuck with that dumb ass abstinence only crap. She knew that you're fooling yourself if you think that your kids are just going to not experiment with certain things- especially sex. So I always insist on condoms when I'm skating the line of ambiguity between virginity and non virginity.

Anyway, now this stupid clamping down on birth control, and they don't want anyone to get an abortion either. But they don't like single moms either. So it's like a triple bind there. They just don't want you to do anything! Like in a perfect world they could say all that, but it's not a perfect world. People are going to fuck, condoms are going to break, birth control will go awry... Shit happens! But we are human beings, and can fix shit.

I may have stayed up til 2 am goofing off, but I can finish my stats homework today. I don't have to be forced to not complete my homework and lab because I did something stupid yesterday, especially not if you're going to fail me and call me names like "idiot" or "stupid n word", you know? So why ruin women's lives forever just to get your jollies?

I feel really guilty for missing tutoring today. So I was thinking about that when I ran across this post on why kids can't read. I don't remember any of this whole word stuff. I remember being really bored that they were teaching phonics because my mom had already used phonics to teach me to read before kindergarten. Anyway, the kids I tutor both have sight word problems, as I call them, not reading the whole word before concluding what word it is. However, they are both smart kids, just need a bit of a push along.

I'd like to put a disclaimer up to say that I do not agree with all contents of the above link. Like I think it's important to try to understand other cultures, and no, I don't think the fact that the kid I was tutoring read a book about a Puerto Rican kid and his grandma will ruin his education. For all our talk on personal responsibility, I don't think that we should blame everything on someone else like it is popular nowadays. We can never defeat terrorism unless we find out our own contribution to it, instead of crying like babies when someone points out that America is not perfect.

Anyway, I'm watching Soul Food the series and it is pretty good- I love a good soap opera. I wonder when there will be more boxes out since apparently it is a five season show, not one season like Freaks and Geeks or My So Called Life which are my only other TV shows. Well, American ones, I have several anime TV series.

5 volumes of Happy Mania for me! Oh the wonders of the preoccupied attachment style. It's good to see a comic about someone with a bad personality. Heh, my copy of volume 3 has a parental advisory sticker. When did they start doing that for comics?

Hey, it's time for kidney selling fun! Enjoy kiddies.

Well, for those who have been procrastinating, you can get all of Fancy Lala for $50. You need this. Unless you hate cute. Then you don't. Sucks for you.

I would like to remind all my readers(well, I only have 2, but they can remind their friends) that participating in hate crimes makes you a stupid little wimp, and if you can't take racial diversity, it would be better for you to kill yourself, as we don't need to waste the time processing your kind down at the court house. Another note- I like how the shirts worn by whites in one of the incidents(summary- racial tensions at school, interracial fights) basically call for the killing of blacks- the confederate battle flag has flown over many a murder, and 'white power' doesn't mean anything good- it means the power to murder black folk, and laugh about it. However, the black kids got 'NFL' which apparently means that blacks will live forever(I'm not familiar with that. In my school's shirt battle, it was FUBU, which makes white folk seem even more ridiculous. for us by us versus murder. and there's a contest here?) i.e. it's more of defiance, than we want to kill you for no good reason. Think on that.

On a lighter note, Something Awful sometimes has awful links of the day that I like. I think that they should keep to obviously deranged people, not just someone making pro nude (nsfw: nudity) comics. I like the art in this comic as the person draws all shapes, sizes and races of people. The writing isn't perfect, but it's actually sort of entertaining. It reminds me of old Archie comics- a bunch of cheerful protagonists get into gentle adventures. That's the beauty of web comics- you can appeal to a niche of a niche, and it'll be fine.

The Personal is the Political

This is a famous slogan, but I don't know who said it. I associate it with feminism. To a good extent this is true. I often note on this blog that I am frightened of others. You may also note that I rant on racism a great deal. It's because it strikes me of another aspect of how frightening other people are. You wake up one day, and you're born the 'wrong' color, and all the sudden, no matter what you do, people will never consider you as worthy as folks born the 'right' color, and the kicker is- what color your skin is has nothing to do with anything.

It does not make your history unworthy of study, it does not make your people stupider than anyone else, it doesn't do any of the crazy stuff people say it does. It's just a trait- like red hair. If I ran around saying that "People with red hair never did anything important" I would be asked to have proof. But apparently, you don't need any proof to badmouth black folk. People just decide they hate you, and they believe it, and they don't need anything other than that.

The only real racial difference I have found is that white people, even nice white people, tend not to be able to get racial issues. For example, I am talking tot his guy about racial issues. It's kinda like he has a special pass or something. Like he can redeem it for "making offensive comments/assumptions about blacks in public" "bragging loudly about his ignorance" "voting against himself to punish blacks" "ignoring what black people say about racism, and just trying to make self feel good" "assuming that black people have no human worth" and other common manifestations of racism. He doesn't understand why I am mad that he has this card. I mean, he didn't cash it in. But I am mad that he has the option to, even if he never cashes it in, ever.

Care packages for soldiers. I wish I had my comics here so I could send them.

I don't get why itunes hasn't closed the loophole where I can listen to tons of people's music libraries. My guess is that this feature was for people with computers upstairs and downstairs, but I can listen to the music of my dorm mates, for some technical reason.

Also, here is a pornographic post. It involves a beautiful Caucasian looking girl, with natural boobs, pubes(shaved into one of those designs, but still enough to be attractive), and a decent butt. Not to mention the costuming for this is so opulent. There's a beautiful sheer top, some Victorian style surroundings, and there is also a lovely library back drop and emo glasses. The photographers really understood the importance of costume for sex appeal. None of this back alley photographs just showing a girl blandly showing her beaver, and it's all shaved, so it's not even cute.

No, these people knew that some of us need some sensuality in our porn pictures. Well, at least I do. I am not too aroused by porn without a good setting- when I have a sexual fantasy- I don't just see boobs or cock, whatever is the case. I see this whole sexy set up, and that's what is most arousing. I mean, people are sexy, and all, but have some fun about it.

This is a really cute post, in which a Fillipina shows us what the malls look like there. They look really interesting. I wanna go to foreign countries.

Also, a lot of people are full of brave courage in the face of adversity. For example, this post, 'game time' tells eloquently of how we need to fight. Also, Steve Gillard has been working overtime giving us eloquent hope. He tells us his personal story of adversity, and heals our hearts by explaining that the problem is not the evil of our fellow countrymen but their loss of control over their lives. I'm young and hopeful, so I don't have to stoop to hating gays to get control over my life. Of course, I do not buy into the myth that we have total control over every aspect of our lives, so my sense of control is less precarious. If I did not know that just luck, coincidence, and the actions of others do make up a part of my life, I'd be grasping for straws too. I'm not saying that you can't control anything, but there are a lot of factors that we can't separate out.

There's also talk on how we can take our country back. I'm in mourning now. I've been wearing black for three days now. (I wore black on election day. Presentment?) However, I think I'm better now. I think I can fight. I'm always worried that I'm too weak to live in this era, and should have come of age in the 90s, but I guess we'll just have to find out.

However, I cried on Wed, I cried and cried. I was really snappy too. This girl in my car pool assumed this lady was on welfare, even though she had two jobs, just because she was black and had six kids, and I just snarked at her. I don't know- it just bothers me that if you got a job, you're taking away the white people's jobs, but if you don't, you're wasting their money, and even if you do have a job, you're stealing their money anyway. I had a good session of tutoring the kids even though. The other girls talked about the election to the kids, but I was too mad, and talked about the weather and school instead.

Even though Thursday, I was really upset. I felt like this. (the strip is the day after if you read this next week) But now, I feel better. I just need to mourn, need to get my rage and anger out. Yes, rage. Rage that people don't treat their country better. I want America to be first among the world. Not for killing, not for machines, but for the love that people show to their country. I want us to be a country that is first in the world in their stewardship of the land. The country that cares about all its kids, and doesn't just downgrade them because they've actually been born. I want a country that respects motherhood- in deeds, not words.

I want a country where justice rings. Where the citizens can think for themselves. I want a country that I can be proud of. I want to go up to people from other countries and say "I'm an American" and they praise our country because it is just that good. I'm not the other members of my generation. It's 'cool' not to care about your country. By care, I don't mean slap an American flag on the bumper and say "fuck the french" I mean, caring about all people, even if they aren't white, even if they aren't male, even if they aren't rich, even if they aren't evangelical Christians.

By caring, I mean showing respect in words and deeds. Not enjoying lesbian porn, and then voting against gay rights for real lesbians. Not saying you are colorblind, yet showing your ignorance on every front. And saying you respect women, just not their rights to their bodies, is a definite no no. Be not racist by not being racist, be not sexist by not being sexist, be not hetrosexist by not being hetrosexist. Give us deeds, and we'll give you our words.

More farker round up: (I can't say this as well as other people, and I feel the same way. Maybe tomorrow I'll love my enemy. But not today)


2004-11-03 04:57:20 PM
SpoogeMaGoo

Dear Bush supporter,This election was rather personal. One of Bush's more controversial policies has life and death ramifications for someone very close to me. Please understand that I mean this from the bottom of my heart when I say this to you.I hope you and your family suffer terribly because of Dubya's policies. I hope that your days are filled with misery and heartache. I wish upon you tears and pain more powerful than can be conveyed in words. Your support of a soulless man, whose Macavelian ideological tunnel vision brings untold misery to many, is contemptuous and disgraceful.You are a sub-human stain on the earth. fark you very much.P.S. May you happen upon your daughter's lifeless body; a victim of a botched illegal abortion. Another victim of Dubya's "compassion" society.

WTF?

Please vote, so non reality based people don't fuck up the country again. My mom says that at her school she student teaches at (in TN) that people had been telling kids that Kerry would make everyone have an abortion. At the school I am tutoring at, the teachers said that Bush was for the war. Anyway, vote!

2004-11-02 07:53:48 AM
DistendedPendulusFrenulum

I enthusiastically voted for Kerry last week. The polling place was packed then. With attractive and successful African-Americans.I think the bottom left half of Shelby County has a surprise in store for Mister Bush. I think there are numerous surprises in store for Mister Bush. Perhaps not quite enough surprises to get rid of Mister Bush, but I am fervently praying. . . <---I really hate fark sometimes. (attractive and successful african american is the fark filter for the n word.) Shelby County is one of the most intelligently voting counties in TN, because of all the black people. White folk, they vote for reasons that make no sense to me. "Well, they'll give incentives to outsource my job, and there won't be any welfare for my kids, so they'll go hungry, but at least some rich white dude will get a tax cut, and Bush hates gays". I just don't get why poor white folk care if rich white people get tax cuts and perks. I mean, just because someone looks like you, doesn't mean you're going to get that same good stuff. All that good stuff folks think they are entitled to because they are white?

That's rich folk stuff. Broke ass white people ain't going to get shit beyond some broken promises and feeling superior to non whites. If they want to get screwed over they can, but come on folk. Voting based on symbolic 'moral' issues won't improve your situation. They just wind you up to vote against your own women, your own childern, and your own country. And then white folks think they can comment on how blacks vote.

At my school near a chapel or whatever, there were some candles you could light and put in sand. I tried, but the lighter was out of fluid. There was also some paintings, and a labyrith. This was for hopes of reconciliation of our divided country. I guess they were praying for reconciliation. It made me wonder. How can you reconcile with someone who doesn't want to reconcile with you? How can we have peace if people's ideologies don't end where our rights begin? We can all pray for peace, but do people care? Can we truly make this country a country for the benefit of everyone if we get tantrums every time we try to point out any flaw?

I hope for peace, redemption, reconciliation, and all other things. But in my heart, I can't forgive those who would want me to be second class. I can't forgive those who would sacrifice my life for their ideals. I don't know whether I could ever forgive. I simply somehow do not feel it's ok to let people hurt you, and get away with it. I just don't have a kind heart.

Like these chicks in my car pool were all like "They have weird names, LOL!!!!" and I wanted to be like smacking them in the face. I did actually say something, but it was much nicer than what I wanted to say. Seriously, who says that white folks gotta be the ones who determine what names are acceptable? If you don't have a white name, you should be laughed at? Like what the fuck?

I want to be like we're not your fucking servants. We determine for ourselves what we want to name our kids. But you know kids these days. They are too stupid to know somethings just aren't funny, just aren't jokes. That they have real consequences, that society is made of individual actions. Anyway, I want to be able to do something great. But I don't know what I want to do yet. I want to be a hero, and I want everyone else to be one too. I guess I'm just a weird person. But at least I'm not a fucking douche, who is too fucking stupid to understand that there's no law that we have to have stupid ass white names. Fuck you!

Oh yea, and I'd like to remind people. If you can vote for Kerry, vote for Kerry. We don't need a slender margin of victory, we need a big fat landslide so we don't have to hear Bush's lawyers for weeks. Tomorrow is voting day! I don't think I can watch it with the Democrats, if Kerry loses I'll probably start sobbing. I'm just so emotional. But they have bar b q, and ice tea! But it probably isn't as good as Memphis bar b q...

I somehow reread Rush Limbaugh, Newspeak and Fascism, well, at least part one, and you know, the word racism has also transformed. Instead of being the real lived experience of blacks and other people of color, it has become some bizarre theorectical thing- like Saturday at a party, I was like "You're white!" to a guy(I had drank too much and my list of obvious characteristics had dwindled) and that is racist in that bizzaro definition, but not that millions of black kids are being tracked below their ability. In the bizzaro definition, it's apparently racist to try to repair any damages that real world racism has caused.

The more I look at people, the more I see that everyone lives in different realities. But how much people's realities are real, I don't know. I know that I probably am a bit scared of people out of proportion to reality, but just how out of proportion? By scared of people, I mean I'm the type who is very quiet and shys away from others when feeling bad. I also am very nervous. How did my bizzare personal problems end up in this?! Oh well, that sucks for you, the blog reader. I have to do shitty stats homework today, but a winner is me because I don't have another stats test til the 17th.

I was reading bell hook's Outlaw Culture, and one thing that really stood out, besides how bad she smacked Pagila in the face, was how she noted how if blacks start showing signs of the sorts of pathology that is America wide, it is seen as some unique pathology. Many white people are getting into credit card debt to get the nicer things in life, and saying go to college so you can get money for stuff, instead of education, and it's just alright. But a black kid has a pair of Nikes? Call the sheriff.

What she was talking about was rap, and how the misogynistic messages in it aren't just for blacks, but white folks are rapping along too, and saying and doing disrespectful things to women. Like what's up with that? I just don't get it. Our society is weird, and my twists ain't turning out right, and I can't do a good part.

It's Halloween. Yesterday I went to a party, and I swear they had the most dangerous party games ever. I'm a sheltered girl, but somehow I don't think knifing a plastic bag off a broom is the safest game, neither is drunken sword fighting.

Also, in other news, I think that many young republicans are pussies. Like what happened to the normal ones? I'm against kicking people just because they have offensive shirts, but I bet this guy was a douche. Of course all the republicans my age I am around are all really rich white people, so that may skew the results. Like you know, you get a certain sense of entitlement, combined with the republican philosophy, and you get megadouches. The kind of people who will whine if they don't get Sean Hannity as a text in calculus, or how not getting money for the same idiot to speak twice is oppression or whatever. Of course, I'm sure young liberals can be just as annoying, but the ones around here will just like make robots out of trash or Bush out of paper mache. They also aren't trying to fuck over women, children or black people.

Here's a sad story about a marine snapping. This guy strangely enough hadn't even been over there, but he went crazy and tried to kill his g/f for no reason(well, she wanted to vote for Kerry, but I really hate Bush, and think it's merely ill advised to vote for him, not a killing offense) It's strange how people can go insane so easily. I'm not clever enough to pop psych it out for you, so I'll leave that to you.

I think this ad would have been better if they had put in a clip from the debate where Bush denys saying that he didn't care where Bin Laden was. However, it's a pretty good ad on its own. Show it to your pals.

Good news for Freaks and Geeks fans over 18! Send in proof of voting, and you get cool prizes. I can't participate because my absentee ballot is long sent off, but you can! I'd like to remind everyone to vote for Kerry. Just because he's not the second coming of Jesus Christ doesn't mean you need to reward failure.

Also, the second Utena soundtrack will be released in the US. I need to buy anime soundtracks.

Also, an interesting editorial was published in the Emory wheel today.

I don't get people complaining about Kerry because he's not liberal enough. Conservatives will still vote for Bush although his administration has spent money with a sorostitute with daddy's credit card, he hasn't banned homosexuality, and women aren't tied to beds and forced to breed. You know why? They want to win. Let's try to win too.

Here's a newsletter from the citizens for progressive transit. It details various goings on in Atlanta transit. Here is a post about an Atlanta Gothic Lolita gathering, and a web site full of people posting pictures of themselves in various EGL inspired costumes. Here is an amusing flash video involving women's breasts. Test tomorrow. Wish me luck.

You know what I like? New shoe smell. It probably is caused by some sort of deadly agent, I guess. However, my new shoes are awesome, because they are the best kind of shoe- cute, but without heels so you can fucking walk. Here's a link to my new shoes. I like to look at high heels, but I don't wear them, even if I do buy them.

While I'm bitching, on the issue of pubic hair, I am totally second wave. Like I'm all for choice on most issues, but seriously ladies. It was perfectly fine to have pubic hair just a few short years ago(although I live in book time which is longer- a long time ago is 80 years- the lifetime of a affluent woman) and people have had bodily secretions for hundreds of years. But all the sudden it's gross to have hair on your vagina? I call bullshit.

While I'm sure some (a VERY few) women woke up one day and said "I don't want any hair on my vagina", but I'm sure most didn't start out that way. Maybe they got a little outside pressure. Sure, some decided they loved it, but I don't think they all just woke up one day and decided that hairless vags were just for them.

People can justify even a man beating their wife, so I can see how something like that could be justified, but just wake up- it is only recently that we have instituted such ridiculous standards. To me it's too much- you can't even have your own vagina without a beauty standard

Also, green tea and ginger ice cream is pretty ok, except for large pieces of ginger of course.

While I'm typing on the internet, I know very little about elegant gothic lolita style. However, I have noticed three trends that are probably totally wrong. Some people are Japanese brand purists and buy straight from Japan. They are rewarded for their wallet fortitude by having great stuff like this. Others are handmade Lolitas who like to make their own clothes. This to a person who can't even sew a simple skirt, is a miracle of awesomeness. Others like to collect American pieces that suggest the style.

I am the last one, as I am not as much interested in a pure style as another fun element I can add to my own. It is strange for me to go into an fashion obsession cycle in the fall/winter. Usually in the summer, I become interested in clothes, and in the fall/winter I'm more worried about keeping warm. However, it is nearly November, and I walked around in a t shirt today, so maybe it's the weather.

I'm getting more interested in stockings and arm warmers because you can wear cute summer fashions and cover your limbs that way. At least in principle. I wonder what people do up North, how do they even live when it's so cold?

I'd totally be like Freud if I was a white guy in his day. I was reading this blog, which is talking about how one can be racist by trying not to be racist, and you know why I rant about racism so much? Because it creeps me the fuck out. After people keep stretching and twisting and turning the truth into pretzels, they seem to end up in some other universe. It's really weird. From my observations it's a universe where wearing a FUBU shirt is more offensive than the Confederate Flag, where saying "we need to do something about health care disparities in minority communities is racist" but the actual health care disparities aren't, a world where actions can be disappeared and have no effect, where the past and future don't connect, where no one has any responsibility for their actions unless they are people of color.

This creeps me out on a visceral level. It's just like it's possible for normal people to totally disconnect from reality. Of course, it's like that with Bush fans believing that Saddam Hussein flew an airplane into the WTC, but you know, that's kinda transient. I think that once we get Bush out, they'll wake up, and wonder where they got that idea from. Of course, that is a delusion on my part- that the past four years can just disappear like dew on the grass.

I wish it could. I wish it could all disappear. But I still realize that I'd be lying to myself if I didn't recognize that our bad actions have changed everything in this world. We are weaker to attack, and we have brought it upon ourselves. Excuses won't change what we have done. We can't lie our way out of this. Even if we are weak people like me, we should be able to face up to our sins and our crimes. We have to be honest with ourselves.

In abnormal psychology class, my teacher says that the therapy has something to do with the person who created it. Of course, in this age of HMOs, one can not have therapies that go on for a long time. I don't know what sort of therapy I'd create. I love narrative, and always am looking at the shadow. That's why I say I'd be like Freud. I don't have the genuine human warmth that others have, so that would affect it too. I feel it, but I can't show it. So one can not depend on the client liking the therapist.

I don't know. It's interesting to think though.

Also, a rap video about Bush. Actually pretty good. Also, Princess Tutu is coming out in January! I'm going to have to buy every DVD just as soon as they come out! It's that exciting to me.

Ad donation begging time! Please view and donate for this ad. It's the powerful story of a President making fun of the brave soilders, and a brave sister crying because her brother is dead.

I'm taking a break, because I have two tests next week and if I don't rest between tests I'll get sicker than I already am. I don't feel well, having woken up with an ear ache, and also I have intermittent nausea.

But I was thinking about stuff, so I decided to blog about it. Interesting enough, one's views on issues like affirmative action say a lot more about you than the actual issue at hand. The whites ballyhooing over how AA is soooo racist are mum or making excuses for high infant mortality rates, police brutality, or even blatantly racist actions such as this. Scratch a person whining about AA, and you can usually find a racist- because it's about priorities. Whites seem to think oppression is some cool club they want to join so they lie about victimhood- if I am at school with a SAT score of 1300, and Bob(white) is at school with a score of 1250, no one will have a hissy fit about Bob taking their spot. It only matters if the spot they think they deserve is taken by a non white.

They have plenty of time to cry about that, but they never have any time for social justice work. I wonder why that is? I am still pretty bitter, so I may seem harsh. Of course it seems doubly harsh because it's about white people. People talk bad about minorities all the time. Apparently Langston Hughes poems and Spanish has ruined our schools, crack using minorities with $500 tennis shoes have stolen all the white people's jobs, while raping and pillaging,etc to hear some people tell it. But if someone says something like "You know, whites are pretty racist" You have to hear about where they have sand for days.

I'm all for white folks in principle, but after having to hear where they have sand for years, I really am pretty pissed off. While there are many white folks who either don't get sand up their orifices just because something didn't totally praise white people or if they do, clean it out themselves, it's just after years of going to school in the south, and reading southern newspapers and suchlike, you just say enough, enough, enough. If you don't shut up about your fucking sand while people are dying, I'm going to shove that sand so far up all your orifices that you'll have something to fucking cry about.

Blogging is very therapeutic, you know. Like you can't go out and say to people, even when they are being totally racist pigs- hey, shut up about your racist ass shit, or you'll have to hear their whining and crying. I like to be nice, and I am a shy person. But sometimes I just want to shove my foot so far up people's asses...

Don't worry kiddies- this is years and years of repressed rage!

I'm up at 1:30, and I really like this poem, because I was thinking of Carl Sandburg while I was reading it. Of course, Carl Sandburg is much better, as he was one of my childhood idols, but something about the style reminds me of that. F.C. Wong, thank you.

I have of course been unable to write poetry for many years. You must have something that I lack now to write a good poem. Maybe it's a kind of sustained energy for revision. I don't know. I wrote bad haiku in my notebook to keep myself from fidgeting too much during infancy class. But that's a whole different story.

It's only 10:30 and I am about to pass out. I think I have done enough studying for today. But then again, maybe I should do some extra just in case? Nah, I think I'll read my infancy stuff. This blog has been helpful in my decision.

I just don't get all the fuss about gays in the churches and stuff. Even if it WAS a sin(I'm not religious, but come on!) they let adulterers and people who go around coveting other people's donkeys practice freely and get married in the church. Aren't those sins like in the ten commandments or something? To me, it seems like it's really reaching for someone to hate. You don't like gay sex? Don't have any, but leave the rest of us alone.

I finally broke down and bought the cherry shoes from Hot Topic, but I am in the dark as to why anyone would ship using UPS (7-10 days delivery time for 7.30!) I'm such an id lately.

I often see overlaps between gender and race oppression. Like when feminists(I am one, I mean other ones) are like "God! It's like we're not supposed to have any boundaries" in response to men thinking women's bodies are public property, to me it feels like how blacks are supposed to suffer all sorts of oppression and blame it on themselves. Not to mention the idea of earning white america's respect seems like the beauty trap. For women, you can never be beautiful enough. The models that are held up as the most beautiful women- they are starving themselves, being hacked up by plastic surgery, being photoshopped into oblivion. To earn their respect, we'd have to destroy ourselves, but still, it'd never be enough.

Or maybe it's because I feel the most horrifying thing in the world is well, I can't name it. But my mental image is sort of a shadow looming up behind you- and it's created by all the impressions that others have of you. It's not you- but in other's minds, it's replaced you. And you can't like go and tell them that's not you, because they can't hear you. Man, I missed my point, but to me, that's a really creepy fucking idea.

Or while I'm talking about creepy fucking ideas- something else creepy is the idea of I don't know- just totally having to conform to ever increasing social demands. It's pretty obvious what my greatest fear is- other people. Well, we all have different problems, and that will be folded into our world views. So it's best to put our biases on the table.

For example, one bias that informs my world view is "don't fuck with women or children" I really don't like republicans because they fucked with the women and children. I don't care whether they are high caste(white, rich) or low caste(black, poor)- you shouldn't fuck with any women or children. But it's best to keep that on the table.

I have some grace soap from here, and it's becoming transparent. Somehow that is cool. Also I smell good(green tea) However I don't remember paying $5 for shipping.. I want some chai lip stuff but the shipping is so high. Shipping seems high lately for everything. Then again, I usually only ship very small items, which is like 83 cents at most, and if I am getting fancy on shipping, maybe I'll go priority and pay like 4 bucks. So I am surprised when it's like eight bucks to ship a pair of shoes. Did rates go up? Does this have something to do with gas prices?

I'm glad I finally found my brown lipstick. I was looking for lipstick in CVS, and the cheapest tube was like $5! I was like- what ever happened to wet and wild? I'm looking for shoes, and it's an uphill battle. Between a bunch of high heels,which I don't wear much because it's stupid to pay money to wear shoes you can't walk in, and people charging like 7, 8 bucks to ship a pair of shoes, I'm just beat. I guess it's time to execute my plan to use the marta. Then again, I don't have any money. Maybe I'll do it Sunday because I'll be able to get some money out of the atm, I guess.

I have started to adopt a pro black attitude. I do not see any reason to accept white people's view of blacks as inferior. We can sit around thinking oh us poor black folk, oh how we aren't this or that, or we can fight our problems from a one up, instead of one down perspective. We have suffered due to racism, but that has nothing to do with our worth as a people. White people do stupid things all the time, but the whole of the white race is not called inferior due to that. I don't see white people saying woe is me, when their kids take meth or shoot up the school. The President took drugs, I hear, and no one is talking about how white people are inferior when our President can't even take John Kerry sneaking in a few barbs at his expense.

When people start saying you're this and that, the proper stance isn't "Oh, poor me, I'm so this and that" It's fuck you, I have my own agenda- and it's not yours. Some folks seem to think that white folks got a veto over what we do- like we have to go around bowing and scraping pretending that we don't want anything from anyone. Bullshit.

Black folk seem to think we gotta earn our shot at justice. What the fuck? You don't earn basic human respect, and what we do doesn't have anything to do with their attitudes. Yes, educate yourself, yes set up your own business, but don't think that is the key to ending racism, because it isn't. Black people have educated themselves and their families and have set up their own businesses since our ancestors were in Africa.

The thing is that racism is an axiom, not an observed thing. It's an article of faith. Bootstrapping sounds good to white folk, because they don't have to do anything, and they feel catered to, but the thing is that we don't want to cater to them. They are NOT children or imbeciles. (I mean whites over the age of about 18 or so) Sure, they may get a little mad, but they can handle it or will have to handle it at least.

I think it is silly that people think that the onus is on black people to fight white racism. White folks, at least those over the age of 18, or possibly 21(I can't decide on what age a person should be responsible for making up their own mind- but it's one of the two ages), are responsible for their own opinions. While some black folks may not be helping, especially those who say "Hey, massa, we all stupid(except for me) You're off the hook"- no one makes them believe that. There's no *rule* that whites can't make their own minds up on whether they want to think rap videos are documentaries, or whether they want to think that blacks are naturally inferior. Because my underlying assumption is that white people are much like me- just different human beings with different upbringing and look, I feel that like me they can figure things out for themselves.

For example, I'm pretty well off. I could choose to believe that poor people are poor because they are bad people. But I have chosen not to believe that. This of course doesn't make me a perfect anti classism person, and I will fuck up, I'm sure. But I have chosen to at least try not to be such an asshole about it.

Now, a lot of things are out of our control- where we were born(I bought a book called Global Woman today, but haven't started it), how tall we'll be, or what others think of us. But I believe that we can control our behavior to a great extent. For example, I bought a manga, Hot Gimmick today. While the consumer culture, and sex roles(girls love cute little books!) have some part in my decision, I could have chosen to resist- and say "No, I do not need to read slightly twisted, and fun manga books to cheer myself up on a cold day"

I may exult in getting new socks(my socks from sock dreams are even better than expected!), but I know when I need to try to act like an adult, and get serious. Anyway, in an aside, I wonder why they decided to change to sock dreams from fetishize me. I never bought any socks before, but I always liked looking at them.

I don't get people. Like apparently some time around here it isn Columbus Day and sometimes you hear folks telling the Native Americans to get over it or something, but come in- if white folks can go around saying "Yay! Our guy 'discovered' America" from that long ago, then Native Americans can put in their story too. I could see ignoring history if it was everyone who had to ignore it, but like this, it's like eating a big fat piece of cake in front of hungry people- just rude.

I also think remembering history makes you less likely to be a genocidal maniac. Like since I looked at lynching photos and felt deep shame(and didn't fucking WHINE about it, for goodness fucking sake. As if feeling bad was something that I never should have to do!) I'm less likely to think that murdering people in public and sending postcards to my friends is a good thing to do.

Too bad there isn't a book like 'crazy white people explained' that could explain how feeling kinda bad for a few minutes is like so awful. I feel bad when I hear about sweatshops, but I don't go off on third world twelve year olds for making me feel bad. It's my own damn fault if I buy sweatshop clothing! I am responsible for my own damn actions. So to me, it's white people's own damn fault if they want to be racist. Like there's no rule saying that they have to be, and some white people go around not being racist, so obviously there must be some reason why they are. It is a mystery, but I lean towards the "they are just jerks" hypothesis.

I really like fashion. It's like a scavenger hunt for the right stuff, and you can always combine your clothes in novel ways. Today I'm kinda school girl I guess. I'm wearing a pleated plaid skirt, a white shirt, and sheer black knee socks. Maybe this should be a fashion blog. But I am a very ugly person, and plus, no one wants to hear my crazy mouth and see my ugly face at the same time.

Also, in black people stuff, I agree with this guy that it's not black folk's own fault that we aren't doing better. Yea, sometimes black people do stupid stuff, but people of all races do stupid stuff too. I mean,seriously, whenever a white owned business steals people's 401k money or they make a stupid business decision, no one is like "If only whites were smarter, they'd be more successful in life" They are like "Bob the idiot CEO is a dumb motherfucker" as they should.

Something that annoys me is that whites never have to take any responsibility for any crimes against humanity they may have committed. "Oh, I am an imbecile! I can't possibly be complicit in any systems" which is dumb. I think they should stop worrying about whether they are racist or not, because it's not whether you are racist- it's what you do about it. None of us would have a problem if people tried to rise above their own racism, but if they decide to wallow in it, it's not like they are setting themselves up for respect, you know?

Whitehouse Apple Cider is way to apple juicy to me. Cider has a deeper, thicker taste to it. Of course other people will disparage my cider as it doesn't have any alcohol in it. Bah to you, foreign people! One of the best inventions in the world is really small cute containers of drink. I love them.

Also, in mental health news, I have recovered enough to slowly be able to do my statistics homework. My mental image is giving an ill person really small spoonfuls of gruel. Anyway, that's my weird brain again. I really want Othello, but since I've been spending like George W Bush, I have to wait. Sucks for me. But I got a lot of neat stuff.

I am posting a lot today, but I'd like to direct people's attention to this great post. We all have privilege and nearly all of us have oppressions and we need to learn how to deal with them in ways that affirm life and the humanity of everyone. I think this post is a great way to start to think about that.

In important news, the new Nobel Peace Prize winner has a really good speech about the problems of Africans, and this gave me a new perspective on say, ethnic warfare and the political situation in Africa. She also makes me feel uplifted with her call for Africans to fight oppression. Although I am not an African, in my mind, the message is universal. I think it's like how all leaders will issue a call for their specific people- but everyone can join it. Gandhi spoke about the Indian people, but Martin Luther King Jr heard his call, and made it specific to blacks, and I wonder how many authentically heard his call? I say authentically, because I am against white people using MLK Jr's words to be anti black. If you're anti black, use your own thinkers' words and leave ours alone.

Also, in weird news, frat guys act stupid. Please don't write slurs on people if they are passed out. Call an ambulance. Or maybe that's not right. But seriously, there's a right course of action here, and writing weird things on people isn't it.

Yay! I'm thin today. But it's pretty mysterious. Like somedays my stomach is really fat, and other days it is thinner. And I've been eating nothing but bad food lately. Then again, I haven't felt well lately so I haven't eaten as much as I should.

Please show as many of your friends as possible this link. Thank you.

So I'm putting together my Halloween costume, which of course, is a lot of fun. I haven't decided on sweet lolita versus dark lolita, but I might do both. I got stripy stockings(blue and black and green and white), a strawberry skirt, and am bidding on a very elegant white shirt. You see the plan is either to lolify a very gothy blue and black lace slip dress or to go sweet lolita with a strawberry skirt, and elegant shirt.

It is interesting that now I am going with more clothing that goes along with my apparent personality. Like I used to wear bolder clothes, but now I wear more cute girly clothes, which go with my shy and subdued personality.

I started my fall break early, as statistics gives me the good old crying everyone's tears, paying for all my future sins feeling(I love that song!) and there's no use hyperventilating and passing out! I haven't felt well lately. I'm startling more than usual. I am not the type who does well under intense stress. No matter how much I study, I need more than a week between tests, and I just need more time in general. I can't turn in acceptable work under bad conditions. And today, I refused to get sick over it. Fuck statistics.

Today we made spinner art. The spinner was a salad bowl attached to a drill. The paper would be taped to the sides of the bowl, and we'd drizzle paint or paint right on the paper or both, and lovely designs would form. We kept doing this, and everyone was a mess. The paint has dried on my shoes now. It helped me continue the feeling from that Patricia Hill Collins lecture, which was great, and the food was excellent.

In other news, if you want to listen to hate music, download it, don't buy from those crudy people. I don't get why people would want to be white supremacists, but they don't have to be dicks about it. But I guess it's kind of part of the rules or whatever.

Here is the test score round up! Infancy- 54(A-) Abnormal Psych-83(B) Stats-80(B) Behavioral Modification 90(A). I feel a bit bad about my scores, but at least I didn't fail anything. Also, I'm trying to write about racism for my school paper, and I think this blog post, which is basically just a bunch of excuses white people make for not fighting racism, is pretty helpful, as I'm trying to buffer and point out these defenses while I'm writing. My point is supposed to be that we can't exactly keep our professors from embarrassing everyone by being idiotic bigots if we think that sitting together in the cafeteria will solve all racism.

"However, after controlling for a wide variety of firm and owner characteristics, all three papers found that black owned firms were still about two times as likely to have their loan applications denied as similarly situated white owned firms"-

from Credit to the Community:Community Reinvestment and Fair Lending Policy in the US, by Dan Immergluck.

This book is a bit wonky, but educational.

This is an amazing post and I think that it works for all oppressions and all privileged groups. Basically, it's about respect, and saying "Hey, I'm not owed x y and z from these people because I'm in [group X]. People often expect people to do their homework for them, and that's silly.

It seems DaddyOs has some deep discounts! I bought a dress from them once, but I can only really afford their clothes when they are on sale. Or maybe I'm just cheap. I have so many clothes that I can slow down and only get high quality pieces now. But then again, I just love clothes. I tend to like to appropiate clothes from subcultures when I am looking for my dream looks. A problem with my clothes love is that I am always cold, but I don't like to shop for winter clothes. It's hard to really fall in love with a design with sleeves. Maybe I should just buy a bunch of arm warmers or something.

It seems DaddyOs has some deep discounts! I bought a dress from them once, but I can only really afford their clothes when they are on sale. Or maybe I'm just cheap. I have so many clothes that I can slow down and only get high quality pieces now. But then again, I just love clothes. I tend to like to appropiate clothes from subcultures when I am looking for my dream looks. A problem with my clothes love is that I am always cold, but I don't like to shop for winter clothes. It's hard to really fall in love with a design with sleeves. Maybe I should just buy a bunch of arm warmers or something.

It is interesting- I prefer unshaven pubic hair (adult content) on women. In the Gothic Lolita community, they are talking about a gothic lolita character in Hot Topic. Some worry about 'main streamness' While I'm not an expert, I'd sure most people might just incorporate some lace in their wardrobe, and not do the whole elaborate thing with the headdresses and elegant gloves and clothing with tons of frills and lace and everything. I mean, I have some pairs of flared jeans, but that doesn't make me a hippie.

Not to mention, it's not like there is a massive influx of gothic lolita designs at Hot Topic. Here are the skirts at Hot Topic and here are the skirts at Baby the Stars Shine Bright, a Japanese store. They certainly look alike,eh?