Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I have noticed that if girls do something that isn't male geeky it's not considered geeky. While many girls and women like male geek things like video games(I used to be, but now I am not, sometimes I mourn this), and fooling around with linux, I don't see how it is somehow not geeky to be in a subculture based around fashion or to spend hours beading elaborate items. Like what exactly defines geeky? I always think of it as being based around out of the way interests that set you apart from society a bit. I think that watching anime will be defined as 'non geek' soon because so many women watch it. I don't understand this seperation here.
Memo for white people*:

1)The rules apply to you. While many people do relax the rules for you, in theory, the rules should apply to you, and sometimes they do. Don't cry about this or you look like a cry baby.
2)Actions have consequences. You can't go around saying racist things and expect people not to think you are a racist. See #1 for why this is so.
3)The world does not revolve around whites. Read a few books, travel a few places, see what the world is really like outside the white bubble. I love black people, but that doesn't mean I can't learn about latinos and Asians and whites, you dig? If you think every great or important thing was done by a white person, you need to educate yourself-you may have been failed, but there's no use in failing yourself.
4)Some things are your responsibility Slavery isn't just over when it's time for you to try to escape responsibility for racism. Books and google are available to whites.
5)Lying and making excuses makes you look racist It's true. Don't say "but I have a black friend" "but I don't have the time"(you seem to have plenty of time to run down non whites) or whatever foolishness you are about to cook up.
6)Personal responsibility doesn't stop with poor black women. See #1 and #4. Don't say a bunch of stuff if you aren't going to do anything yourself. It makes you look like a hypocrite. If you say you value personal responsibility, take some yourself.
7)Most of the time, you should have your mouth closed. Listening can cause you to learn things. This is very valuable. Also, would you expect me to be able to make a coherent and factual argument on the role of the structure of the brain in schizophrenia, when I have actively avoided reading any books about it, and the only information I have about it is that I have gathered from movies and maybe the dictionary definition of schizophrenia? You'd think I was an idiot if I tried to argue even an undergrad psych student. That's how you sound when you discuss race. I understand the mass media does not make it easy for one to have an informed and nuanced sense of race, but it also doesn't make it easy for me to have much knowledge on nuclear physics either.

*Why don't I say some white people? Because I find that people tend to mentally put themselves in the 'good group' when 'some' is used. Also, people say "black people" not some black people when they are condemning us. They might point out a 'good negro' while condemning us all, or try to make whole groups of people 'good negroes' , but that's not the same device as 'some'. The people talked to are never part of the some.
At the farmer's market we bought 2 limes, 1 lemon, bananas, and corn. Support local farmers. According to my mom, if you get water boiling, put the veggies in, take them right out and put them in cold water, and then either can or freeze them you have fresh food for a long time.

Monday, May 30, 2005

On one hand I am happy that Hugo has repented of his bad behavior. On the other hand, I long to shout and throw garbage cans and smack people and be like "oh, yea, so you're not responsible for your own behavior? Well, be responsible for my boot up your ass"
You know what sucks? Instead of targeting rich corporate people whose fault it is that jobs are outsourced, idiots are abusing poor Indian people who couldn't give them a job if they wanted to. You know what? Ishvar over in India is just doing his job. The fark thread is pretty racist, so for a corrective, yes, there are call centers in Africa. You only notice 'blacks' who talk noticeably black and plus many whites talk 'black'. And you know what? Get over it. And no, Indians do not sit around plotting on how to steal 'your' job. I hate how people act like somehow people are bad people due to stuff that doesn't hurt them like having a slight accent. Sometimes I can't understand people's accents. THIS IS MY FAULT. I suck it up. It's called being a mature adult.
I have created a list of essential readings that will be added to over time.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

feminste pointed me to this story about abortion.. It illustrates how making laws for everyone based off what you assume is normal is a dumb idea. In making laws for everyone you must try to think of who you might be hurting, and try to prevent that harm. Would anyone die without a parental notification law? Women would die with one.
From here, an exciting money saving tip:

Ewuradwoa Mar 8 2005, 04:38 AM Post #1 Ok, so I read online that you could put regular popcorn in a paper bag and put it in the microwave for a few minutes, and it would still pop. I had to try it for myself!

50 pack bag of brown paper lunch bags: 99 cents
I jar Orville Redenbacher's Gourmet Popping corn: $4
Servings of popcorn per jar: 21

Compare this to those six or eight packs of popcorn for 4 or 5 bucks each.

THIS WORKS!!! Try it for yourself - and you can make it any flavor you want, it's fat-free, has no transfats or other icky artificial stuff... I'm so excited!!!


Mmm. Yay money saving food tips.
It's Unitarian Jihad! In other news, I find it near impossible not to focus on the enormous mountain of work it requires to get a boyfriend. I always have trouble with the small details of appearance, for example, my makeup always disappears and looks non existent, and I always look the same anyway, getting enough energy to go to worthless useless social things I hate it where there's nothing to talk about and you can't hear what people are saying) , joining clubs and stuff so I can meet guys, and endless hours of bad small talk.

Also, some guys are giant assholes. I really don't think it's my fault if they are. I mean, I can blame my bad body language all the day long, but guys choose their own behavior. I can say "Oh, it's all my fault for being attracted to this guy" but on the other hand, it's not like I can read people's minds and predict their future behavior.

NO ADVICE ALLOWED ON THE COMMENTS. IMMEDIATE BANNING WILL FOLLOW. Why do I say this? I really don't need to hear "guys are jerks because you complain about how much you hate rape on the internet"
How many races do you think there are? I think there are six: white(sometimes broken out by 'ethnic group' by which I mean nation),black(domestic and 'foreign' broken down by nation) , Asian(including east and south, and broken down by nation), Hispanic(you can be black or white Hispanic, also broken down by nation), Arab, and indigenous type people. (I like the name first nations for American Indians, but I'm sure other people think it's a dumb name) Who did I leave out?

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I find if I keep interpreting the tarot a certain way, that's what I really want to do, because I'm trying to manipulate the outcome that way either consciously or unconsciously. This guy makes up fun horoscopes. This reminds me of the time that a psychic followed us to dinner. But that's a story for another time.
Bitch PhD has a good post up about schooling and whiteness. She doesn't put in about class much, but a post has to have a focus. Read the comments, Redneck Feminist has some good words to say about white guilt. I agree, I mean, feeling bad for ten seconds about how much being poor sucks really is a small price to pay for all the good stuff higher class brings you. I once took a survey, and some of the questions were about whether you thought your race or class had more to do with your education, and I picked class everytime. Due to class, my mom was able to have a flexible job and teach me how to read. Due to class, my parents were able to advocate for me more, and also, they knew how the forms for college went and could give me advice. (my mom has to help a lot of others with their forms,etc) They knew about the importance of the SAT, as they took it, and could indulge me in my constant library fines.
I have morning insomnia(i.e. I woke up at 6:00 and am unable to go back to sleep) so I will rant. Yesterday, I talked about how it is perfectly possible for three year olds to succeed in life even if they have droopy pants. I wonder why other similarly extreme fashions never get picked on. Let's take my favorite, elegant gothic lolita. Now even hot topic has a 'gothic lolita' dress. It's a mostly white and Asian dominated fashion, so you never hear people say "You'll never succeed wearing poofy petticoats" even though you'd probably not be 'professional' if you wore this to work. Even the more popular gothic fashion evokes more OMG freaks, you'll shoot up the school type hysteria than "you'll never succeed in life wearing that!"

Even white kids who wear the same saggy pants don't get the whole "you'll never succeed in life with baggy pants" rhetoric. Why is that? With white kids, people think that little Jonny is in a phase, even if that phase involves gang raping some chick, but if a black kid slips up it is assumed they are doomed for life, even if the slip up is confined to questionable fashion choices. Maybe we should try to support our kids. Instead of being like "OMG, you'll never succeed" say "you will succeed" and try to give them the right tools to succeed. Many of our kids have talent, they have drive, and they work hard. However, you have to invest in them and support them. And no, tough love don't count.

Friday, May 27, 2005

This has potential. In other news, gothic lolia families. AWWW!
Viva la smartland! Orson Scott Card has lost his fucking mind. You know why us 'smart land' people don't have our hearts breaking over a fucking stupid flag? Because our hearts fucking break over hungry kids, women dying because they have been denied medical care, and people being bombed for no reason. And dude, the thing is that the Muslims have their own lives and agendas. They don't live to have some white man talk about whether their actions are 'mature' or not. I mean seriously, we are in Iraq for no reason, but we expect respect. I'm sorry, but it's near impossible to have a war on another country without someone getting murdered. So basically we're condoning murder because we're fucking scared of the bogey fucking man, and they are supposed to kiss our fucking asses and say "Oh, please mr American, love me".

You think you're oppressed here Mr. Card, try China. I think it'll be more to your liking, especially with the lack of press freedom. Oh yea, and if any more morons say that blacks are anti intellectual because they heard that a black kid made fun of a nerd, I'm shoving this and a million other similar columns in their faces. There's a fucking cult of stupid here, and I'm supposed to think that's alright just because the people are white.

Rant aside, here is the google news for this story, so you can decide who you believe.
I think we need to learn to deal with difference. I mean, in this thread it is said that three year olds won't be able to succeed in life because they have saggy draws. The thing is that even if people wear fashions that we personally don't approve of, they can still be good people and work hard. We think if someone does anything in anyway not 'standard' whether it's using African American venacular English around one's pals to not wearing dockers khakis that they are somehow suspect and bad. But sometimes, you just have different ways of doing things.

Another point I have is why do middle class people get so many passes? We're all "well, the poor can only control themselves" but why doesn't anyone tell us to control ourselves? Who is telling the middle class to get off their asses and make the system better for everyone? We have more resources than poor people who are expected to single handily change their situation by conforming to a bunch of random rules. Like people are always saying poor people should work harder. BS. I mean, many jobs that pay crap are hard work, and plus sometimes people have two and three jobs. They say "don't wear X type of clothes" but you know what? My cousins have walked around with my clothes on their backs. Not every family has people who are all poor, and some people may work at a place and get things for discount. Like my aunt gives me Nike stuff. Sometimes people sell stuff on the street and mysteriously it is cheaper than full price. I have ebay, and buy expensive looking clothes there, but poorer people have the thrift shop and the flea market.

The thing is that we can't compel millions of people to somehow become perfect angels by saying they are worthless because they have no money. What we can do is to make the country better for everyone, money or no. Where is personal responsibility for us middle class people? Why aren't we more called upon to change things for our poorer brethren? Where are the speeches calling on us to work to improve things with the extra money and time we have? That's what I wanna know.
This comment thread had some intelligent comments about school systems. In summary, there's institutional racism and the fact is that people of color are working hard to improve schools, but don't have as much good pr as white people. Also, it's stupid to talk about how liberal you are, if you're not doing anything about it.

In other news: me: I didn't know our state legislators were criminals. dad: you've been away too long.

Someone apparently bought the extreme teen bible as they are selling it.
Lindsey Lohan shows why dieting is bad through the use of paparazzi shots. I'd rather have huge thighs than look like a skeleton. Although I have lost 2 pounds all though all I do around here is sit around and eat ice cream. Of course, the fact that I have had to go to the doctor three times in less than two months sucks. I have a mysterious back pain. No one knows what is wrong with it. Also I have to have my lady parts checked every year. So yesterday I had to have those parts examined along with my ear and have blood taken to see if I have thyriod problems(I am always tired and cold). I ended up with prescription alieve and sinus meds along with more birth control. Of course, one funny part is when my doctor recommended dildos, but felt she had to whisper it. You see, my vagina is in need of stretching, so I wanted recommends. I am thinking of maybe getting a nice small dildo after all.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I feel really guilty. I spent $150 on clothes I bought this skirt., the blue skirt on this page, a black and white top(Liz Clariborne), another white top(what brand, I don't know) and a shirt with princess peach(you know, Mario, your princess is in another castle) on it. Also rose socks. I feel bad because I already spent a lot of money at the goodwill($50) Of course, a smart person would tell us all about the evils of sweatshop clothing, but everyone already knows that. I've been spending a lot on clothes lately, it seems. It's just like a trip to England is too good of an excuse to shop to pass up.

I feel in a bit of a bind. On one hand, I'm sorry to say it, but class privilege feels really good. I may dislike having less money than my peers at school, but I must admit that just the idea of going to England is like eating warm bread. On the other hand, I hear the voice of people who always act like if you have a little money, you can't *really* care about the poor.

I guess they are trying to weed out people who just go to one charity ball a year and call it caring about the poor, but it's also applied in really weird places. I have heard it claimed that I can't care about racism because my parents had a bit of luck. Like somehow racism was eliminated because a few black people went on fancy trips or got into a certain school. I understand that people who say this say this only to get people to shut up, they really don't actually care about racism. I mean there have been a few blacks that got to live the good life since forever, but I don't think they were unable to care about their brethren.

Also, I know that if I was poor, then they'd say they couldn't listen to me because I wasn't a successful person and don't you know that means I'm lazy? So this vaguely bothers me. Does blowing hundreds of dollars on clothes make me a bad person? How can I have fun without being too much of an asshole? I'm sure these questions don't have easy answers if any.
In other news, sewing awesomeness. I can't believe she made that from a t shirt. Sometimes I think of dying my hair, but I don't want to look like afroken.
You know what? You know how everyone is like where's the black sci fi? I say it's right under our noses. However, there will be spoilers for Tumbling, Some Things I Never Thought I'd Do and maybe some of Toni Morrison's work. I have noticed bits of magical realism and outright fantasy in these works. For example, Tumbling has a clairvoyant child as a plot point. This is seen as part of the scenery, much as segregation and gentrification. Some Things I Never Thought I'd Do has an alternative history, and visions in it. I wonder why no one really recognizes those elements there. I think maybe we are taught to not think of something as sci fi unless it's strictly sci fi, with a total fantasy world, and not to think of stories set in the real world, even if the implausibility of the 'coincidences' in these stories amaze and confuse. I mean seriously, in Tumbling a girl eats an entire wall. I simply don't think that is possible. Or maybe it's because people think that if it's not about white people, it can't possibly be interesting, because you know, black folks might talk about RACE OMG!!!! Or maybe we haven't been able to see fantasy and sci fi as anything but a geek thing, and we haven't been taught that normal mass market fiction can also be sci fi/fantasy. Man, I need essays from people who actually can write. What has everyone read?
It's time for the hypocrisy exposure of the day. My big pet peeve is people who act all self righteous about blogs having tip jars. Like this ditz is like get a job, as if having some code up on your site precludes you from having a job. Come on lady, you even have google ads up. I bet she didn't run up her huge debt donating to charity. It's just like how does she know we don't have jobs? I usually have two, but that's apparently not sucking it up enough. It's just think before you open your mouth,ok? Also, this woman decides to have an unprofessional and stupid rant on her business blog(CLUE: you're representing your business even if you don't sell things directly on your blog) It's like she is so stupid she can't just ignore it. Oh, I feel solicited by tip jars, so no one should have tip jars just to satisfy me. I wish I had so few problems that a bit of hustling was so terrible. I do not mind if Steve Gillard has a fund drive, because you know what? If I don't like his funding drives, I can just ignore it. If he wants to earn money blogging, I'm all for it. He's not doing anything illegal or hurting anyone.

I wonder why no one ever says just ignore it to people who complain about minor stuff like this, but when it comes to major important problems like racism or sexism, we're supposed to just suck it up. Hey, if a guy harasses you in the street, you're just oversensitive, and of course, it's just not important if blacks get shot in the street, but somehow being a nasty jerk based on stuff you can just ignore is just fine. Please think before you type, idiots.
I thought this article was interesting. Go to bugmenot for a log in. You know, my image of blackness is quite mediated by the written word. I never do feel much kinship to the images of blacks on the screen- even the relatively normal black people in those UPN sitcoms like Girlfriends,etc, seem to me more like the characters in Seinfeld than someone who I would actually relate to. The fabulous middle class blacks with their love problems, I don't really relate to either. I think I just find film a less relational medium. Even if a book character has experiences much different than mine I can often find that I can relate, probably because books can cover the internal much more than movies can. Even if the two have the same plot "middle class blacks have love problems" I can relate more to something like Not a Day Goes By than The Best Man(I have blanked out on the names of most of the movies I ended up stuck watching in high school).

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Monday, May 23, 2005

Hahahahahahhaa, it's stupid white people bingo! Credit: Blackperson. The suggestion that this should be a drinking game is too too much, because then we'd all be dead drunk, and then they'd say "hey, all blacks are alcoholics."
Black people are speaking. If you're not listening, it's your own damn fault. Also, P6 has a good discussion first trying to give the resident white guy a clue, then answering my question about anti black blacks, and now they are talking about chinese food.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I want everyone to see this drawing, because I like it. Also, I am shocked to note I haven't had the self confidence to write and submit much at all through college. (although I did send in an editorial for the school newspaper, but that doesn't count) I swear my nerves are shot.
Another black person tries and fails to clueify a white person.(note: friends only post. so only members of the blackfolks livejournal community can see this post) We're in the fields trying to educate. If you don't listen, it's your own damm fault.

This great jewelry set is going...going... Less than 24 hours left!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Ellen Goodman shows good sense. I really hate it when they go on and on about being color blind and how we need to forget race exists, until they need to put the craziest black/Hispanic (I haven't seen them do this with an Asian yet) person around in some position. They can't have it both ways. They can't say that racial issues should wait til hell freezes over, and then try to use racial issues when it's convenient. If they really cared about race, they'd start to try to invest in all the kids, not just rich white ones. And stop jailing everybody. It's a waste of money. I seriously think only whites are fooled by this. And that's just plain sad.
Give me my damn pills!

Friday, May 20, 2005

A center for funding abortions for those who can't afford them wants to sponsor a homeless 15 year old. However, they are broke. Help support a young woman, details here.

In other news, P6 sheds more light on Fox's stupid statements. and there is also clueification attempts going on here. I also found a book I *need*. You know, sometimes I find that if a book on race has some low reviews, it's a really good book. It's impossible to tell the truth without offending whites. I mean, it's impossible for one person to be perfect let alone a group of millions, so the desired image can never stand up to reality.

Today's item is a vintage gothic lolita style dress. Remember, if you bid on my auctions, I'll drink beer in England thinking of you. My 21st birthday is coming up.
Undeclared fans rejoice, the DVD set is coming out. If only more seasons of Soul Food would come out...
Noah TA has an insightful post about internalized racism. Often I see blacks holding ourselves up to impossible standards and criticizing black people too much. And that just tears our community apart. Can you really work with someone who believes you can't succeed in school if you show any inkling that you might be a black person? Can you gain the confidence to move forward if you can't be proud of our past struggles and our present achievements? To me, doing the best you can under difficult conditions is worthy of praise. I see the black community different than most do. I see my grandma volunteering hard in the schools, I see my mom trying to improve the educational system one class at a time, I see the black business community trying to grow an economic base, and I see many black students working hard in school and graduating. We have problems, but instead of hiding in denial or using scapegoats that we have made up out of whole cloth like some people I could mention, we work to solve them. Once you have a positive vision of yourself, you can move forward.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Black folk talk about people of color only space. I can't say much that hasn't already been said. Now Debunking White throws in. Oh yea, and sex and race, don't forget sex and race. This all started on the feminist livejournal community which I don't read, because I like to read places that aren't full of idiot kids. This is the wonder of the internet, one idiot can get hundreds of smart people talking.
Lolita Snap has new rules. This guy is pretty bold in his fashion. Go guy in tutu, go.

After reading this interview, I might actually buy this guy's book. But what is up with that interviewer? Like she talks about some stupid 'balance'. I'm sorry, but did Cosby have LaQuita from the hood debating his points? Did he say "well, there is a lot of racism in society, but.." I don't think that happened. It's just like pro black folks are expected to bring a whole lot more to the table than anti black folk. Folks can get away with beating up on poor women and kids without a fact or a footnote to their name, but try to say, hey, maybe there's other factors here, and all the facts in the world won't save you.

Also, here's a great essay to print out and read on the toilet. (I read the whole thing online, personally, but reading on the toilet seems to have a special do what you can air to it) My favorite part is about how people are groping towards something they don't know exists yet. In our own ways, we are all looking for something. Also, the desire for exceptionalism reminded me of the person who always wants to be the one good black person. Who insists that no black person ever studied, went to his job on time, or didn't smoke crack before him/her. I understand the impulse in a way. Wouldn't it be terribly tempting to be the one exception? The one black person that was so good they couldn't deny? To be able to say "hey, I'm better than you. I'm not a nigger" I'm sure that is very fulfilling self esteem wise. But it's sure as heck not very useful on our journey.
This handcrafted necklace is the item of the day.
Hahahaa, I stole some stuff from feministe, now I'm biting from this lady who linked this strip.
Feministe linked to this post, and I liked it so well, that I'll link to it too. I like the part where she's talking about college passion and anger. I often feel I am strange. Yes, I know a lot of angry black people, but somehow they do not seem strange to me. It's just like "Hi, I am venting my perfectly ordinary and understandable rage!" I guess it's because I am uneasily a bridge. I never did quite feel comfortable with black separateness, and so combined with my social clumsiness, I don't know what to do. Like should I try to work with white folks, or say fuck white people, and interact with blacks solely? (Oddly enough, Asian people and Hispanics keep getting lumped over with blacks in my head. Maybe I mean people of color) On one hand, I don't want to block any good people out, nor be discriminatory. On the other hand, you can't teach a rutabaga to sing, and I'm not a sweet and tactful person anyway. So I guess the rage comes from how crazy and illogical this world is. I have all these huge decisions in front of me, and I'm supposed to choose wisely,and I'm a terrible person if I don't. This is affecting my temper, as I have a naturally nervous temperament.

But anyway, it's good to see that getting really pissed off in college isn't a sign of mental illness. I hope to get really drunk in college soon, as I'll be 21 in less than two weeks. Also I am going to England, and some English people say all they do is get drunk. I'm sure they are exaggerating, but there's got to be beer there,right?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Here's yet another person who can't make fun of people without using racial stereotypes. I admit the outfits are funny, but do you gotta rely on the old blacks=criminals crap to get a laugh? Now, I understand that many comedians have used racisl stereotypes and were actually funny. You know why? They are funny people. Even though perpetuating racial stereotypes isn't exactly cool, at least there's some added valued in actully being funny. Not to mention, many Mexicans are from our fucking country, yo. From Prof Kim's News Notes, here's a guy who managed to actually be funny. Study his style.
Here's some racial discrimination to start the morning off.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Here's something interesting and here's something strange.
I have a jealous nature. So I really can't stand how nothing is ever a white person's fault or responsibility. If racism, if white supremacy, if just plain acting like an asshole isn't your fault or responsibility, then when is it ever your fault or responsibility? Like it just makes me sick. I say angry things because covering up the anger just gives people an excuse to say they aren't hurting anyone. You are. If you think having your ego hurt about being implicated in the wrongs of society is the worst racist thing that has ever happened, you're a racist. That means the deaths of millions of people who have died from inadquete medical care, from being murdered by the police, from being blown up by american bombs because we labeled them expendable, from diseases that could have been prevented if we had deemed the people outside of our borders worthy of help, mean nothing to you. If the hurt in the eyes of childern who have been soul murdered by our racist system, who have been abandoned by their communities(yes, having a different skin color doesn't excise you from a communuity) means nothing to you, then what the fuck is wrong with you? If white egos are more important than that, what is wrong?

What has happened to humanity? What is wrong with us? Why do we have people doing all this horrible stuff to Iraq?
I'm also having a going to england sale on ebay.
Sheezlebub makes a good post about assimilation. The best part is how she actually sees the humanity of immigrants- instead of thinking everyone's got to be like us, she's like dude, they got their own families, lives and reasons. I grumbled about a commenter linking to an African saying the same self hating crap. (too bad you can't edit comments, I note that I misspelled some words I was so pissed) It's just like dude, you ain't better than anyone else, so shut the fuck up. Sucking white dick ain't going to do nothing for you in the long run. And that's all self hate is- sucking white dick. Maybe trying to understand black folk is in order. I like books and read them, and other blacks don't make fun, you know why? I don't act like a stuck up bitch. I'm not cool at all. I'm a total nerd. But you know what? I know that being a good black person is just the other side of the coin from being a 'nigger', and you gotta get off the coin.

Monday, May 16, 2005

So today, I decided to look at the commercial appeal. That was a dumb idea. On the front page, they had an article (go to bugmenot.com for a login) whining about how Yo! Memphis *gasp* funds karate lessons for kids and gives them gift certificates as prizes for achievement. The only so called mismanagement that I even found even slightly questionable was like what? $300. Yes, these people are willing to begrude kids programs to help them, because of $300.

Yes, I am biased because my cousins have been through the program. They have been encouraged to stay in school and even got jobs. One of my cousins who went through the program just graduated Saturday. She's had some hardships, even has a kid. But she got a strong foundation through community support. Most kids don't just suddenly decide to bloom despite the environment. Most kids need a push and encouragement to do so.

If a kid gets some self esteem doing karate and doesn't join a gang, you know what? that just saves everyone money. You save money by investing in the kids. A kid who stays in school and has job skills can produce a lot of things and give back to the community. If you don't give kids anything, you get nothing back. So stop complaining about stuff like this. More than $300 of your tax money has gone to pay politicians who spend all their time eating good food on our dime, and not serving us. More than $300 has gone to blowing up kids in Iraq. So cut the crap,ok? They are all our kids,ok?
What a classy cutie. I need to start drinking more water.

Friday, May 13, 2005

You know, I don't think dude was whining, but the thing is that there are voices people need to hear and we need to support each other in getting these voices out. The right wing are supporting each other in spewing poison, whether that poison is well written or not. It may sound nice to say "write better", but this is a war of ideas here- just as people need Gillard's war analysis, people also need more pro black, pro Hispanic, pro Asian voices, and more feminist voices. That's why I can't be satisfied with just write better.

Not to mention, I do feel people can tell I'm black, just from my perspective on things. I may address some things to white folks, but I always have a sort of insider knowledge. I can even tell Gillard is black since he uses certain blackish idioms. Although there may be foreknowledge bias. Like he said he was black somewhere and then I noticed it? Anyway, I can't remember which came first. Also, I think it is important to note when people of color are at the fore, so we can not be invisible. So that people can no longer presume the 'norm' is white.

Also, what is considered good writing and good blogging may vary by culture. For example, in the big fight about women and blogging it came out that some people thought that women didn't blog politics because they didn't spend every post blah blah blahing about how Bush rubbed his balls and instead actually posted about something interesting.

My posts may be considered boring not because of my terrible writing style, but because I write about racial issues, which aren't interesting because you might have to think or something. It's like Chez Miscarriage which is totally well written, but not to people who are primed to discount women's voices. If people are primed to only listen to certain viewpoints, even bad proponents of the favored viewpoints that are pushed in the regular media, just being good won't save you. People must read you to tell if you are good or not. The priorities of our culture will control what is considered 'good' and what is paid attention to, and it is those priorities that we aim to change.
This is really great art

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Now here's a white woman in trouble I can get behind.
La Luba clues us in about sexism in the trades on Alas a Blog. She recommends this book on race and then amazon recommends several other books that look good. There is so much intelligent scholarship that is going unread in this country, it seems. I know not everyone's got a big fat university library, but if you can buy a big fat SUV, you can save up for one book a year at least.
Yes, my dog is racist. It's full of hate for white people. Especially if they are doing stuff like killing our weeds or whatever southern lawns or whatever does. So train your dog, or it might be an asshat like ours. (who is very old and lazy. and will let little black kids pet him. But I wouldn't recommend it to a kid under 5, personally. He's a chow mix, and can be aggressive).

Full of love for these photos.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I find the whole use of 'omg, scary Hispanics' in this joke transcript rubs me the wrong way. It's just like let's shore up negative stereotypes for a quick laugh. There are more creative ways to get a laugh than resorting to cheap 'oh noes, it's the scary minorities' shit. This sort of stuff is the stuff that's really divisive- not asking for rights and respect. If you go around othering folk, how can you be in community with them?
I love these outfits(warning: fetish gothic) I wish I had more occasions to wear fabulous clothing. In other news, angry white kid shows us that he has good taste in music.(warning:curse words)

Monday, May 09, 2005

All over the world, countries are investing in the education of girls. One important lesson to be learned is that school attendance increased because of waivers of school fees, putting schools nearer to villages, and even separate toilet facilities for boys and girls. Instead of assuming that people are stupid, find out why they do what they do, and then you can change their behavior.

In other news, this guy has a clue about missing white women. My favorite part is where he's talking about how growing up among minorities is more valuable than being rich, and he wouldn't trade it.
I'm frightened to study, so I blog. I found this ad(warning:nudity) that a woman posted and I love it.

For a while in college, I slipped and slid between an angry, brittle exclusion of white folks and a keen desire to find in my black compatriots -- smart kids who, in private schools and tony suburbs, were often lonely like me -- a sense of racial and personal unity

This is a great article on .race, and you should read it all. When I was a child, I was not very conflicted about my race. No one said I was "white" because when I was a child, tracked classes started in high school, and so I was not segregated from my black peers for a long time, thus everyone accepted me as a black person. Of course, I also wasn't super rich and didn't act like I was better than my black peers. If I had a superiority complex, it was an equal opportunity one. They may have thought I was strange, and weird, but I was a black strange and weird.

I think I'm only able to really worry about the race issue now because of cognitive advances. For example, I can compare more things together, analyze more deeply and see systems. I also have a higher reading level than I did, and more access to books about race, because I go to college and they have a huge library and there are many book stores full of remainders that I can get for cheap.

So now I'm obsessed with it, because I'm obsessed with power, and plus race seems terribly arbitrary and random, and our conventional wisdom so weird and fucked up and crazy that it's like a great big train wreck.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

WTF?I note my site is listed at blogshares, but I am too tired to learn how to play the game.
A Daily Kos diary helps us get a clue. From P6's archives, folkbum helps us get a clue.
Why I hate White people

My friend was describing an assignment to me. His teacher gave groups different materials from his group with like two highlighters and crappy paper, to other groups who had glue, tape, scissors, issues of National Geographic,etc, and told all the groups to make a picture about the ethnic issues of the Serbs and the Muslims. No words were allowed to be used. Then after the pictures were done, people voted on the best pictures. Naturally the groups with the good resources won, even though many of them had used words from their National Geographics that actually were on the conflict. My friend reported that he felt resentment, even though the stakes were just whether he would get a good grade in the class.

Expand that. Make the stakes higher, the resources more important, and have the groups with resources rub it in your face that they have them and insult you for not having them. If you can't relate this to the title, you're doing something wrong.
Hats off to Maine! Some pharmacists can provide emergency contraception without a prescription. Despite some stupid stuff in the article itself about oh noes, if you don't force women to get knocked up, you might be a raving feminist, we have to say specifically that we're not! I mean seriously, grow some ovaries. If it acts, and thinks like a feminist, you'll get backlash from anti women people whether you say feminist or no.
I must announce that Mike will be banned from commenting on this blog. One may invoke abstract principles and suchlike, but my smart side, the one I use to make my decisions notes that it really doesn't matter. Right wing blogs are said to ban you for saying maybe the left isn't full of cravening hate, and so I think shitty 'advice' definitely qualifies here. I mean, I have enough shit to deal with without some asshole putting it in my blog.

I hate advice, and think it's like colonalization for your mind. It's like someone else comes in, says, hey, your reality- it doesn't matter. My reality- now that's surpreme. It's like me coming in and telling the white chicks sunning on the 'lawn' of the dorm in their bikinis, that they should go and eat a sandwich, because they aren't fat enough for my taste. Like who am I to say what weight they should be? And that's how advice is.

It's sort of a big disconnect from really trying to understand what people are coming from. The thing is that usually there is no best thing, and that's especially important when dealing with subjective things. I'm sure to some people walking miles to get food is no inconvenience at all, and more power to them, but who are they to decide what I find inconvenient and what I don't?

It's different from white men who for some reason never get told that life isn't fair when they throw pity parties about not getting handouts because they are white. The thing is that you can inject some sort of objective reality in there, although then you'd hate white people, blah blah, because white men aren't supposed to suck it up- only women and minorities are. Life is supposed to be fair for white men. If you don't think I notice the difference between how they are treated and how everyone else is, and don't think I feel resentful, well, you're pretty dumb. Seeing the difference is why I am filled with rage. However, on what I personally consider inconvenient in my personal life, you really can't do that. I mean, maybe you think it's cool to get only two days notice in the middle of finals, and that you personally wouldn't have been upset.

Great for you, I admire your fortitude. But you're not me. The thing is that we all have individual things that are hard for us, individual things that piss us off, and individual things that are easy for us. Advice sort of smashes it down into "there's my way, and if you don't follow it, you're a bad lazy person". Which is bullshit.

I think this advice thing is just part of how we can't deal with difference. We can't see that some people just hate things we don't hate or have bigger problems with some things than other people do. I would run across the burning bridge with angry white people after me, rather than talk to a secretary or ask a near stranger for a favor. Now, many people may say "what's the big deal?" But to me, such a situation paralyzes me with fear, and it's very hard to do.

Like with my blog, I want to open a space where we can deal with difference, even if it makes us mad. I of course I have trouble dealing with difference when it seems like someone hates me, and wants me to die, but by bitching about it, I'm trying to work through it. I want a world where like people can be different, but they are equal, you know what I mean? Like I can hate loud music and parties, and you can groove to them, but I'm not a freak because of it. Or you can have problems with reading and I can have problems with math, but neither of us is stupid. Where you can be Asian and I can be black, and we can still be cool and not try to compete over which ethnicity is 'better'. Where a woman can get an abortion because she doesn't want to become a mother, and a woman can keep a baby with substantial disabilities and neither of their choices are foolish.

You don't get that world with unwelcome advice. I always put anti advice disclaimers up with my more personal posts, because I don't want any. I don't care how much better you are than me. Go someplace else and rub one out. But not here.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

2005-05-07 06:21:59 PM FarkmeBlind


Look in this thread. Look at this article. Belittling people based on their beliefs, mocking and insulting them... it's unending.

Yeah, so xtians are finally getting some of what they've been giving for the last 1500-some years. Cry me the farking Jordan river.

Funny, xtians, white men, power brokers of all kinds have been telling those not like them to "STFU and get over it, you lost" for millennia. What goes around does eventually come around.

I find it interesting that those most likely to say "STFU" are the first ones to whine "discrimination!!!" when it's their turn.

You know what? Cry discrimination for about 400 years. Maybe then you'll get a listen. Until then, STFU and GBTW.

*whip crack*

An insightful post from fark. One of my odd beliefs is about karma. I think I get it from my mother who is graduating with her masters today(my brother is graduating with his degree in recording engineering, but that's not important) She says that she thinks that whites are secretly worried that people will get them back for the dirt they have done. Now, we can't really prove this either way- how can you tell if someone is secretly worried? But this sort of belief has a comforting harmony. If you gain something, you have to give something up. If you do evil, something bad is going to happen to you. Although, for those who really are worried, what most of us want, in my opinion, is merely a real sincere apology. Not lies, not I'll just say this so they'll shut up, but a real apology. We also want you to fix the problems that have given you unwarranted advantages. Maybe you can't fix 400 years of oppression, but equal schools, jobs, health care,etc would go a long way towards showing that it's not going to happen again while you are alive. Also, it shows that you weren't lying about the apology- no matter what you say,how you act shows your true character.

That's why I get so mad about the denial, and the lying. If you say that racism has been solved, when it hasn't-how can I trust you not to go back? Progress doesn't happen by itself- it happens through hard work. Even great advances can go back if we don't maintain them. It's like thermodynamics- if you put no energy in, things are going to devolve. That's an important lesson.
My new crusade will be to be like whenever someone says something stupid like "what if they said that about black people" blah blah blah, to correct them. No, we didn't stop being oppressed, asshats, and a great many people do say disparaging things about us everyday.
John Scalzi fights the anti christness of some so called Christians, by telling the world about his Jesus.

And Sarah Lynn gives us all a clue by four. Thank you.

In drug war news, some architects are refusing to build prisons. It is good to see people stand up against the useless and stupid drug war. In other news, I don't think that needle exchange programs will be harmful to blacks. Dirty needles spread AIDS and that can spread to non drug using partners and to babies from that. Preventing AIDS should be priority, even if some people still do use drugs.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Look, in my five millionth post today, we have fruits babies. Just say AW!

And of course, the I'm Sorry, Everybody book. It really helped my recovery, although I think I'm still grieving.
How a little privilege caused me to get fucked over.

While not as bad as having disabilities, I still have problems that make my life less easy than others. For example, I don't have a car. I can't just eat out when you, campus coolers, a awful company that deserves something really bad to happen to it, decides that pick up is 5 days before the end of finals. No, walking a mile to get something to eat while starving is a fucking long way for me, fuckfaces. And no, I do not have ten million close buddies to bring me food during finals, asshat. No, I do not have unlimited cash for delivery, fuckholes. Yes, I do get horrible depression when I don't eat, thanks for not asking, idiots. I hate people who make decisions with their fucking easy lives who think that not having any fucking food won't cause us to fail. FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU DIE. And no, I don't fucking care that I'm a horrible person for not fucking being perfect nor do I need your stupid advice, so don't comment with any or I'll delete it, and think really mean thoughts about you.
Yo! Because of all the brouhaha about blogrolls, I decided to have a decent one on my site. Also, you have to click the links with the date and all to comment and see comments now. I have no clue how I managed to fuck up my blog, but I'll fix it sometime. Also Lauren from feministe has her blog roll under links.
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
I skimmed through he's not that into you, and made an independent bookseller quite angry. (sorry, I love books and all- but I'm not paying $15 to hear that sort of mess when I can skim it in the store) And basically, the message of the book is that no men want to date you. ever. You can ask a man out, but he's secretly laughing, because men want you to believe that asking them out will cause them to date you. Plagarizing off another web site, sadly, no. Men exist only to not date you. You better not call them either. If you call them, they win, as they get out of doing the work and having the thrill of the chase. So basically, you're doomed to be alone. Kill yourself.

But in cheery news, to appease the anger of a poor struggling white man, and because I wanted it anyway, I got Step into a World, yet another black anthology. Lately, I've been into them- I've read Mending the World, which is mostly comprised of novel excerpts, and Dark Matter, which includes the great story Space Traders about what would happen if aliens came and asked for all the black folks in trade for stuff(you already know the answer) I love anthologies because I really don't know what I want to read, and there's got to be at least one good story in them. Of course, they are all used,so the prices are lower than they would be otherwise.
Here's the powerful counterpart to feminist rage- feminist yay. Feminist *good* news, with safe space rules too, I believe. The safe space rules are one of the reasons that feminist rage is such a great community- the mods understand that we hear enough anti woman crap outside the community, and so give us a space to express our anger without fear or worry. Now here we can express our joy. Wonders have been made,eh?

Also, the daily kos explores a church full of crazy.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Look at these beautiful photos. Also, here's a beautiful enlightening dialogue between Toni Morrison and Cornell West. They have great intellectual chemistry- stay tuned for the discussion of black lit. Courtesy of feministe comments and free speech tv. Want to know the names of those Asian girls trailing Gwen? Well, here they are. I've been out of the loop comics wise for like a million years- The Comics Journal is FINALLY doing a shoujo issue. I love girls' comics and think that we should do more of them here. I wish I could draw.
That's it, I'm leaving. Anyone know any decent foreign countries and programs to get to them?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I think it's awesome that there's a community for black gothic lolitas.
Here's an article about small scale sustainable farming. I don't know much about it, although I did volunteer in my school's community garden, which seems more organized this year.
I was reading slacktivist and you know, one thing I never understand is when people say people in cities don't have yards or greenspace. Like what? Is this a northern thing or something? In Memphis,(south memphis if it helps), all my relatives and their neighbors seem to have yards. My granddad before he died was able to cultivate a garden and sell food out of it from his yard. In Atlanta, there are yards and parks and suchlike. Also, there is the desire to build a beltline of transit and green space around the city. There seems to be some support judging from the amount of people that signed cards supporting it at the Iman Park Festival, although I was just a random person handing things out and suchlike.

Also, I don't get why people think they can do nothing about the amount of greenspace- even getting some kids to clean up an abandoned lot and plant flowers on it can improve things. I don't get other people, I guess.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I love the BBC! Here's a story about global warming. My favorite part is that they actually talk about actual news instead of sensational cases involving pretty white girls or celebs. I really want to know what's going on, and I don't care about that other crap. It sucks that I have to look at foreign papers to know if we were secretly planning to attack Iraq.
Steve Gillard showed good sense in talking about Bill Cosby. As a pleasantly middle class black person, I'm sick and tired of people acting like somehow you get a bit of money and it makes you a great person. This whole thing reminds me of something bell hooks once said- if you act like no one has any worth unless they have money, then don't be surprised if they kill for it. So basically, we're setting up their situation where if you have a bit of cash, you can call your kid Apple, and it's cool, you can steal a billion dollars, and it's cool, you can send young people off to kill people, and it's cool, but if you're poor, you can't even get food to feed your family without being considered morally deficient, and then wonder why people will resort to criminal acts to get money and status.

I hope I never get so wrapped up in my own success that I forget that other people have problems that I might not know anything about.

Monday, May 02, 2005

If you are white and unhappy with your life, don't torch black people's houses. It doesn't make you look cool, it just makes everyone think you're a moron. Instead of burning houses, learn a skill or a trade. When we have problems, we are told to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. Maybe the same rules should apply to everyone.
I wonder why people don't see the solution to bad public schools as actually trying to do something about them instead of the luxury options of homeschooling and private schools? I think this may be a sign of crisis in our society. Instead of investing in everyone, we decide to invest only in rich, mostly white people, who can afford to pull their kids out. We black people- what we get is a voucher, that won't even cover the cost, and plus, kids can be rejected from private schools and left to fester in a system no one invests in because the only students who care about are rich ones. It's just like we can go bankrupt trying to get our kids into the 'right' feeder preschool to try to get our kids into the 'right' private school, or we can agitate for good education for everyone.

Not to mention, it's total BS that private schools are uniformly better, not even to mention charter schools. The facts are against them, but they still want to dismantle the freaking education system. I guess the idea that everyone's kid is a special little snowflake that is too good to go to public school is also prevalent. It's just like why destroy the whole system that made American so prosperous over some dumbass shit about how your kid is too smart to be in school with those darkies or whatever. Your kid ain't a beautiful little snow flake. I went to public school and was smart and all. But you know what? My parents didn't say I was a unique little snowflake that was too good to be with anyone else.

They recognized my talents and advocated for me, but they didn't fill my head with the idea that just because I read a little faster, I was too good to do the assignments, or that I needed a special place because I was just sooo brilliant. I have to deal with the products of "oh, you're a special little snowflake" parenting at college, and I'm sorry to say, but your little snowflakes are douche nozzles.
While talking to Dr. Bitch about beauty standards, I realized what I meant to say is that the oppressiveness of beauty standards varies. I think we have feminism to thank for the ability to see beauty standards as non oppressive, in any way. For example, in places where marriage is very important for a woman's livelihood, and beauty is important for marriage, attempts to live up to beauty standards can take on a desperate flavor. For example, in the film Fantacoca in the complilation Africa, Africas, two interviewed women note that they engage in skin bleaching practices to obtain rich husbands. The color complex still reigns in many parts of the world, from the African Americans of the us(this is called colorism) to some south Asians(although I base this on anecdotes from Indians in the US about the importance of skin color in India, so I may not be accurate)

However, due to feminism, some of the importance of being married for a woman has faded, for example, a woman can make her own money, and own her own property. Another factor in beauty standards and oppressiveness may be youth. I think that young people want to conform to standards of what society values more, and adolescent self consciousness may heighten this. I do not know why subcultures have grown up around trying to adjust to beauty ideals or run away from them. For example(trigger warning: if you are sensitive to eating disorder topics, please do not click the link) this community centered around girls trying to starve themselves. Some say it's about beauty, and some say it isn't.

However, there are some women who will naturally be farther away from dominant beauty standards- for some this may intensify the desire to become beautiful or other ideals may be embraced- such as the 'thick' woman, or a woman embracing her natural hair beauty. However, it tends to take time to break from dominant ideals and to create new ones. For more information on beauty standards, try the book Unbearable Weight by Bordo.