I must announce that Mike will be banned from commenting on this blog. One may invoke abstract principles and suchlike, but my smart side, the one I use to make my decisions notes that it really doesn't matter. Right wing blogs are said to ban you for saying maybe the left isn't full of cravening hate, and so I think shitty 'advice' definitely qualifies here. I mean, I have enough shit to deal with without some asshole putting it in my blog.
I hate advice, and think it's like colonalization for your mind. It's like someone else comes in, says, hey, your reality- it doesn't matter. My reality- now that's surpreme. It's like me coming in and telling the white chicks sunning on the 'lawn' of the dorm in their bikinis, that they should go and eat a sandwich, because they aren't fat enough for my taste. Like who am I to say what weight they should be? And that's how advice is.
It's sort of a big disconnect from really trying to understand what people are coming from. The thing is that usually there is no best thing, and that's especially important when dealing with subjective things. I'm sure to some people walking miles to get food is no inconvenience at all, and more power to them, but who are they to decide what I find inconvenient and what I don't?
It's different from white men who for some reason never get told that life isn't fair when they throw pity parties about not getting handouts because they are white. The thing is that you can inject some sort of objective reality in there, although then you'd hate white people, blah blah, because white men aren't supposed to suck it up- only women and minorities are. Life is supposed to be fair for white men. If you don't think I notice the difference between how they are treated and how everyone else is, and don't think I feel resentful, well, you're pretty dumb. Seeing the difference is why I am filled with rage. However, on what I personally consider inconvenient in my personal life, you really can't do that. I mean, maybe you think it's cool to get only two days notice in the middle of finals, and that you personally wouldn't have been upset.
Great for you, I admire your fortitude. But you're not me. The thing is that we all have individual things that are hard for us, individual things that piss us off, and individual things that are easy for us. Advice sort of smashes it down into "there's my way, and if you don't follow it, you're a bad lazy person". Which is bullshit.
I think this advice thing is just part of how we can't deal with difference. We can't see that some people just hate things we don't hate or have bigger problems with some things than other people do. I would run across the burning bridge with angry white people after me, rather than talk to a secretary or ask a near stranger for a favor. Now, many people may say "what's the big deal?" But to me, such a situation paralyzes me with fear, and it's very hard to do.
Like with my blog, I want to open a space where we can deal with difference, even if it makes us mad. I of course I have trouble dealing with difference when it seems like someone hates me, and wants me to die, but by bitching about it, I'm trying to work through it. I want a world where like people can be different, but they are equal, you know what I mean? Like I can hate loud music and parties, and you can groove to them, but I'm not a freak because of it. Or you can have problems with reading and I can have problems with math, but neither of us is stupid. Where you can be Asian and I can be black, and we can still be cool and not try to compete over which ethnicity is 'better'. Where a woman can get an abortion because she doesn't want to become a mother, and a woman can keep a baby with substantial disabilities and neither of their choices are foolish.
You don't get that world with unwelcome advice. I always put anti advice disclaimers up with my more personal posts, because I don't want any. I don't care how much better you are than me. Go someplace else and rub one out. But not here.