Monday, May 09, 2005

I'm frightened to study, so I blog. I found this ad(warning:nudity) that a woman posted and I love it.

For a while in college, I slipped and slid between an angry, brittle exclusion of white folks and a keen desire to find in my black compatriots -- smart kids who, in private schools and tony suburbs, were often lonely like me -- a sense of racial and personal unity

This is a great article on .race, and you should read it all. When I was a child, I was not very conflicted about my race. No one said I was "white" because when I was a child, tracked classes started in high school, and so I was not segregated from my black peers for a long time, thus everyone accepted me as a black person. Of course, I also wasn't super rich and didn't act like I was better than my black peers. If I had a superiority complex, it was an equal opportunity one. They may have thought I was strange, and weird, but I was a black strange and weird.

I think I'm only able to really worry about the race issue now because of cognitive advances. For example, I can compare more things together, analyze more deeply and see systems. I also have a higher reading level than I did, and more access to books about race, because I go to college and they have a huge library and there are many book stores full of remainders that I can get for cheap.

So now I'm obsessed with it, because I'm obsessed with power, and plus race seems terribly arbitrary and random, and our conventional wisdom so weird and fucked up and crazy that it's like a great big train wreck.

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