Sunday, July 11, 2004

I was reading the message board of The Comics Journal, and a person was talking about young girls (this was in Japan, but it doesn't matter) dressing up as Barbies or Pikachus to escape the violence of their society. It reminded me of the purity of fantasy, how even in the worst situations we need that to survive. Or maybe I am wrong. What am I even talking about? But anyway, despite my actual knowledge of anything at all being nil, I think I'll keep talking anyway.

Anyway, I wish I could actually write or create something, but I am too picky, and can't do anything because of that. I should be tolerant of mistakes, and meditate on the futility of life and all that, but a big part of my nature always wants to be the best, which is an illness I am unable to shake.

It is impossible to be the best. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to be good at anything. But one is very sensitive to their culture, and one of the problematic internalized culture thingies or whatever I have is that one must be perfect or ELSE!

I could never be a Republican because of that. You take a little judgmentalalism and intolerance for imperfection, mix it with a little bit of hardline free market fuck anyone who isn't up to my standardsing and you end up with a fascist, and brown shirts don't go with my complexion.

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