Saturday, December 18, 2004

P6 is talking about blacks in the job force. I was thinking about stuff, and I was feeling weird, like you know, I kinda hurt for the white folks and stuff, because you know... it's like if you have a friend, and he's like acting like a total asshole in public and you just cringe and just feel terrible for him? It's like that, although I still feel kinda mad, because you know, the whole racism thing totally plugs into my worst fear- that you can't please people- that no matter what you do, everyone will be unhappy. And so the fact that in racism it's true freaks me out. You know how it is, if you have a job, you're taking the white man's job, if you have your own business, it's not good enough, and if you're unemployed, you might as well just kill yourself, and on and on and on. No matter what you do, it's wrong.

Although on one hand, you have to feel sorry for people who have a whole identity based on not having any responsibility for anything(from what I can tell- it seems that they seriously think making excuses absolves them from responsibility) On the other, it's like screw you- you decided to act dumb- you take the consequences of your own fucking actions. I'm torn between vengeance and empathy. On one hand you run the risk of being too hard, on the other hand, you run the risk of letting justice not be done.

I often err on the side of vengeance just because we have so many soft pedal, oh, I love ya white folks people out there. There's a huge difference between liking white folks as friends and like thinking any thing they do is ok. It's like if you had a black pal, and you knew he was calling the white chicks snowflake and all sorts of weird shit out of their name. You like the guy, but you gotta say "Dude, you're being a fucking idiot".

Also, Vision Circle talks about Kwanzaa. I never got white folks all being like it's a made up holiday. Like what the fuck? Like no one made up Christmas? I don't think Jesus(if he existed) was even born in December! I think the holiday is on this date to coincide with pagan solstice. But apparently if some black folks dress up and give each other handmade gifts and talk about responsibility, that's bad. I just don't get it. I don't go around to folks and saying that humans thought up fasting for Ramadan, and so no one should celebrate it. I guess the thing is that I just don't see ragging about differences that don't affect me.

Like you see me bicthing about white folk, but if they all lived on an island and didn't bother me, I'd probably not worry much. I mean, in Saudi Arabia, they have pretty fucked up rules about women, but I don't complain much about them. I think it's because I feel sort of hesitant to just barge in on someone else's culture and start shouting orders, because I'm not white. I swear, kids that have never been in a ghetto ever in their lives, will become mr junior sociologist, when it's time to shit on black folk. So I'm a bit wary of just reading a few news articles and then deciding I am the expert and that I should tell other people want to do.

No comments: