Thursday, September 30, 2004

My abnormal psych test grade was amended to an 83. Also, Kerry owned the debate, and Bush seemed really mad and confused. Also, I'm a bit unhappy- we can never fix our whole race relations mess because whites are too afraid of not looking like good guys all the time. Like I'm not saying I'm perfect- I'm scared to admit just how terrible I am at math. However, I don't lie and say I'm good at math or that I'm 'math blind' or something. I guess I feel that problems should be solved. It totally blows my mind that whites would rather try to find ways to look good than to lift a finger to do anything about racism. Like it kind of cements how much whites think anyone who isn't white just doesn't count as a real person. The reaction you often get is HOW DARE YOU! How dare you have thoughts of your own that don't revolve around my feelings!? How dare you want to solve problems instead of flattering my ego!

It's like the problems women have- like men thinking that women's bodies belong to them, and not to the women themselves. It's like white people think that the world belongs to them,and they are just letting the rest of us borrow a part of it. And that really chaps my ass, and I don't know what to do about it.

A quote I read said "Your silence will not protect you" and I think it might be true. Like even if I tried to pretend everything was fine- it wouldn't change, but if I try to work hard to deal with these issues, I can be helpful to others. Like it really doesn't help anything to accept the world as it is- it's best to try to change things.

About this- this is a good article, but it's a bit too cheerful. Yes, it's nice that whites and blacks are friends, but there's got to be more soul searching and hard work before we can truly have a better less racist society. For example, the white guy may know in his logical brain that race is irrelevant, and that's a good start, but there's a lot more to be done. When he's voting for a ballot responsibilty to fund headstart- is he saying "well, let's work for all the kids" or is he saying "well, those kids can't learn"

I think the fact that whites are racist wouldn't annoy me so much if they all lived in a country far away where their racism couldn't bother me. But their racism makes their decisions irrational in some areas. Sure, it hurts whites too, but it's really annoying to me anyway. Just because they'd hurt themselves to hurt you doesn't make everything hunky and dory.

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