Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ok, there's a carnival of feminists. Shannon is annoyed at this post, especially this bit:

The issue for me is, whose responsibility is it if someone bows to pressure – not force or coercion, but pressure. If I ask a favour somewhat forcefully, and you say “yes,” don’t whine later that I made you do it. I expect people I interact with to have the ability to say “no” or to take responsibility for their own inability to speak up unless they're young children. I refuse to accept that the way I ask (without the use of force or coersion) exonerates someone from accountability for the outcome of their own choice to comply with my request. And I take responsibility for my choices too. But I can’t imagine being pressured or shamed or guilted into sex. I say “no” quite easily. There’s plenty of fish out there; no sense wasting a moment with a slippery flounder that smells funny.

So hey, you women in religious cults that stay because that's all they know, hey, whatever happens to you is your fault, you should have spoken up! Hey, coeds, ever badgered into doing something you don't want in bed? It's your fault! You should have spoken up. Basically this is why I don't like sex positivism. The world is super complex, and so is oppression. It's not just some dude punching a woman in the face or some dude beating up a 'fag'. It's the smaller things- the kids who think that a little kid crying means he'll be gay or the never ending drumbeat of you're worthless messages the emotional abuser gives the victim(this ends up eroding her confidence, and many of those relationships can become domestically violent)

And this is where I really break with most rad-fems. I believe we’re free agents able to make our own decisions in life, and responsible for the outcome of our choices. I think it’s demeaning to view women as unable to make choices because of patriarchy. And I think it’s condescending to insist all women who enjoy rough sex or pornography are necessarily sucked into the machine created by male desire. I reject the notion that women are automatons or just too weak to find their own voice. We’re better than that, dammit.

Because if we ever are honest about the extent to which society constrains our choices and the real nature of human beings, we would have to do a whole lot more than sit up feeling good about ourselves.

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