Saturday, April 22, 2006

I'd like to say that heteronormativity hurts the socially disabled too. (This is a large group which I think I made a word up for- the high functioning autistics, the folks with aspergers, the socially anxious, and anyone I left out). If being part of a couple is the holy grail, and you don't have the ability to achieve that(it goes without saying that a successful 'courtship' requires a whole lot of complex social signaling), what are you, and what will you do? Of course, all dating advice is for the socially normal. For example, wait, do your thing, and the relationship will come*. I'm not sure if that works for even normal people, but for the socially disabled, it's like if you taught math by saying 'read this book, and the correct answers will come' except for even more ineffective. Of course, social disabilities aren't a monolith- they range from the person who is severely autistic to the guy who just is just a bit 'off'. But in a culture that values marriage and couplehood generally, this can be an issue that causes declines in mental health.

*That's dating advice for women, which seems to push passitivity and looking hot, rather than for men, which seems to push creepy ways to 'trick' women into liking you

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