I discovered a bundle of the entire Fancy Lala series. This is a really sweet series about a little girl who discovers a magical pen that allows her to change into an adult. She gets discovered and is on the path to fame. My favorite features of the show are its general down to earth flavour. Instead of having this totally unrealistic little girl who is perfect in every way becoming instantly famous and getting a cute boyfriend, she's just an average kid who likes to draw and is a bit flaky, she has to work hard to become famous, and family relationships are emphasiszed over romantic.

Also, Utena is cheap now.

Linking to old news about Bush's AWOL so I will not be remiss in linking to this. Yea, that made no sense, but Rumsfield makes about as much. Here is a link to a photo that is not safe for work or people younger than whatever the legal age is to look at a naked woman's bottom. This was linked on The Comics Journal board as an example of David Boring's favorite type of woman. I would like to read that comic again- I can't remember much of it but the plot points, the art, and how somehow it seemed really complicated.

I talk about race on this blog a lot because I feel not educating or not trying to at least get a tidbit of information out is being complicit with racism. If you just let something go on, you become guilty yourself, and I'm not going out like that.

This guy kicks ass for lighting a candle instead of blowing one out and complaining when others cursed the darkness. I applaud that he decided to listen to someone else instead of making excuses or being lazy. I'd also like to note that when you say "life's not fair" you're making it unfair. If you want life to be better, you don't give it up, you don't try to actively make it worse. You try to make it better. Talking about life's not fair when someone's in a bad situation is lazy as hell. Why don't you get off your high horse and get out and help?

Some infomation about Esctasy- drug trials may have been faked. Also, some more stuff by that guy

See the November 23rd post about the Borders strike on this page for context to this ramble. Anyway, I think they should keep on the people who actually know about books. It may be a few dollars cheaper to hire someone who doesnt' read, but the customer isn't going to buy a book he/she can't find because the idiot in your store can't even find the Madeline L'Engle books. I don't see how a store can even expect any customer service at all if they don't pay decent wages. Some people will whine about how the customer is always right, but if you're not being paid enough, it just gets easier and easier to just tell the customer to fuck off.

This comic strip shows my philosophy towards people better than I could say it. Also, Young African Americans Against Media stereotypes could use a bit more content, but it's a good starting place. If you don't have good sense, remember- people choose what news to run, what pictures to show, what experts to call in the media. Also, a special treat- it's an interview with Robert Crumb! Plus, Kochalka brand cuteness daily. It's American Elf! And no, it's not supposed to be funny- it's a diary strip. Also, satire=cool. And sweetness- Marmalade Boy's finally coming out!

I finished two books today. A People's History of the United States made me feel very hopeful and uplifted, because Zinn talks a lot about ordinary people being heroes. He talks about whole communities banding together for a decent wage, about blacks standing up for equal rights, whether it's refusing to budge or not being scared to die, he talks about people who burned draft cards for peace, despite the consequences. Sure, I wish he had put in more about the Black Panthers and gays and Latinos(these last two he mentions in the afterword as things he has not paid enough attention to) but overall, I like it. It's not about a bunch of guys who sit up in their ivory towers while everyone else does the working and fighting and dying, it's about the people who actually do it.

I also read the second volume of Hana Yori Dango(called in the US- Boys Over Flowers). It's still as good as ever- Makino may stand up against everyone, but she's far from a cardboard 'strong woman' . My favorite addition is her newly rich childhood friend who responds to being chased through the school having garbage thrown at him with "Is this exciting or is this exciting? I've never been chased by so many people before!". With lots of fun and love triangles, this series continues to be good despite the art. I hope it continues because it's thirty five volumes. I should pick this up first thing every time it comes out, since Viz will drop a series like a hot potato if it's not selling enough.

It's time to educate yourself. People try to say that poor people in the US are all rich or lazy because of their obesity, but a factor that is invisible to rich folk sitting up in their towers calling names might be the problem- maybe, the lack of availability of fresh fruit? So many things like this would be solved if we just had the intellectual rigor to think before we spouted a bunch of judgmental BS out of our mouths.

Although here are some more people talking about gardening for the hungry. Take note- they didn't sit around slagging off the poor- they kicked ass- which is way more than the slaggers can say.

I watched Gone With the Wind yesterday, and I was shocked at all the griping. While in real life, there would have probably been more griping- people are not automations, I am so used to people automatically knowing what to do in movies or at least not griping that I was surprised. In Panic Room, Jodie Foster's character doesn't seem to waste any time being afraid, and knows exactly what to do in this situation(people breaking into the house) While that's fun for escapism, it's pretty silly to expect real people to be like that, although there tends to be a lot of feeling that they should be.

But in GWTW, folks were devastated by their houses being burnt, disliked hard work when they had to work, and just weren't hunky dory folks. I'm a bit shocked at it- a modern day Melanie would sweep down and lecture them all about how they are all creating their bad situation through negative thinking. But this Melanie continues to be nice through it all, and doesn't scold Scarlett, even when she deserves it. It's so strange to even think that archetypes have changed so much. Scarlett's got some underlying strength, but she sure isn't the steely eyed Termanatix that we're used to so much lately. Melanie's the good girl who would have been full of platitudes, and judgments nowadays, but instead she's just a good hearted simp.

I don't have anything intelligent to say about this, it just surprised me.

A true patriot is one who tries to uphold a better America for all people. Let go of your hate of the other, try to listen to other people, and cultivate some compassion, and you'll have done more for America than any flag waving politician has ever done.

This blog is pretty good, although a general word of advice should be offered. Don't gripe about having to share the culture, just go and join the dance. Don't worry, you don't have to be afraid.

The War Against Boys is an odd piece of infotainment. For example, I think the book would have been a lot better if she had cut the rhetoric and packed the book with facts. Is it really necessary to whine about wasting valuable classroom time with telling people that sexual harassment and rape are bad, and then turn around and start talking about 'character education' and teaching about manners. While I'm all for manners, it's not the primary use of the school. If parents abdicating their responsibility to teach manners, should the school teach them?

especially since she spent the whole first part of the book whining about having this ideology taught in the schools. Is it ok to teach any ideology in school? Is it only ok if you agree with the ideology? Also, she complains about research methods such as surveys and interviews of children, yet after one of these complaints, she uses a survey of women and men- 70% of the boys say yes to casual sex, and a 100% of the girls say no to sex. There's no control in this. Where's the outrage? Not to mention, she gripes because some teenage girls are not exactly the soul of wit and wonderfulness. Yea, the average 16 year old is going to make this wonderful response to a question. Not only that, she gripes because they say valorize a girl who wants to write an essay from Hitler's point of view as outspoken, instead of some nice nelly who is well liked by class mates and has a high GPA. The outspoken girl is valorized because instead of going along with public opinion, she thought up a creative idea. Yea, she's going to be thought of as weird, and 16 year olds do like to shock, but weird people bring a lot of energy into our civilization. New things have to happen or civilization will run down, that's what they forget.

Her anecdotal evidence leaves something to be desired too. She's talking about these schools and how after they implemented character education, they had better conduct, but how does she know that the character education caused that? The classic illustration of this is that ice cream eating and crime levels go up together. Does one cause the other? She also uses the words moral education, but I'm not sure if she knows that morals and values have been co opted to mean bigotry and ignorance.

Not only does she do that, she accuses people of patholgizing boys, but she attributes the same pathological attributes to them. She talks about how some people seem to think that boys are protobatterers, but then at the end, talks about how boys are full of more aggressive behavior, and how we need to civilize them in same sex classrooms.

And a final thought- she is always appealing to common sense. That's a flawed tactic of rhetoric, because she assumes that everyone agrees with whatever she is talking about. Also, it coerces the reader to think "this must be alright- everyone thinks that, it's common sense!"

Also, this post has a lot of rhetoric. I'll point out some of the more obvious pieces here. I use the words 'gripe' 'complain' and 'whine' very often when speaking of the author's viewpoint. This is an example of using negative words to create a negative feeling. I used a scary 'they' at the end of the 2nd paragraph. Dehumanizing your enemies has worked for both sides and every side in between. I also did not bring up that I like the fact that she doesn't think bullying is cool, but think that using that to put neo con indoctrination into schools isn't cool. Oh, guess where the rhetoric is in that sentence. Read carefully for more examples, and remember, I was just a pundit, so remember, that pundit on TV or radio has just as much currency as I do.

Happy Early Thanksgiving! And if you're ignorant, it's your own damn fault, not the person who points it out.

Yea, I agree with the guy who says that you are happier accepting that you are imperfect. I'm not saying that self improvement isn't admirable or that we should give ourselves slack and not others slack, but holding ourselves to the standard of perfection all the time is stressful. This is one of my problems- of course others hold me to a standard of more than perfection, which I can never reach which causes problems. I don't like people who hold you to impossible standards and then yell at you for not reaching them.

It'd be easier to swallow the unbalanced budget if it was being used to help people. Why don't people say the heads of corporations are just lazy if they need gov't subsudies to survive? I mean, it's their raison d'etre to make a profit. (I'm not the head of a big corporation) Also, this guy brings on the science, which I mean to mean agree with me

It's hard to make a movie of Lolita, because everything you see in a movie is seen as the truth. Lolita is filled with a mixture of fantasy, lies and truth, and it's up to the reader to sort them out. It takes more than one reading to figure out if Lolita is really the girl Humbert Humbert describes, and whether he is just playing with your emotions to get sympathy. But in a movie, it's harder to show a shimmering veil of lies over the truth- what can you do? Intercut the fantasy with what's really happening? I'm not a filmmaker, so I do not know.

If you say someone is whining, you're not listening. I admit I am not perfect- I think people who think that saying "African American" instead of the n word is on the same level with the murder of Emmet Till, well, they are kinda whining. But then again, it's not like they understand what they are talking about. It takes a lot more than listening to a few pundits to know about the entire history of America and it does take effort to read a book or listen to what the blacks are saying without dismissing it. I wish there was some way to let people know that they shouldn't think that what pundits say is true- they are entertainers put on TV to make you watch- not the news. It's like Al Sharpton. Yea, he's a guy, he gets some attention, but he is under no obligation to tell the truth or even act in a way that make any sense at all, whatsoever.

I guess critical thinking would have to go on. For example, whenever someone's saying "Well all them blacks are having babies on welfare, and that's why we prejudice" You gotta ask yourself "Is that even true?" "Does that apply to any other group?" "How does one thing follow from the other?" "Is that ALL blacks or just a few, who could just be the shitty blacks. My uncle Ambert fucked a sheep once. Does that make me a sheep fucker?" But I guess it's just easier to swallow the prejudice whole like you don't have good sense, and then blame the people you are prejudiced against. But then again, people with dirty hands will tell all sorts of lies to make them seem clean, although they could be really clean if they just stood up, stopped lying, and took some responsibility. But I guess that's just an excuse to avoid paying taxes, isn't it?

And for those still here, go, educate yourself.

I will copy off my blog hero Dirk Deppey, because I want to comment on this particular quote.

"I was talking to [cartoonist] Chris Ware, who wrote maybe the most depressing book ever put out. But then, in a way, his work is like a comic strip where at the end of every page, it just gets worse. Instead of a punchline, there's the opposite of what a punchline would be. As the book goes on, it just gets further and further down, until you're wondering, 'How far are we going to go with this?' It just gets worse and worse and sadder and sadder, and I was asking him, 'Why not have a character who's happy?' He said the entire culture was organized for people who are happy. People who are miserable need reassurance that other people are miserable."

- Ira Glass,
producer and host of the
NPR radio program This American Life,
in an interview with The Onion


This quote is why Chris Ware is my hero. What he says is true- our culture has no real place for people who aren't full of pep and consuming vigor. If you're unhappy, even if it's for a 'good' reason(and 'good reasons' are very narrow- even a very important feeling like a worry about the future, which is the whole rest of your life, is brushed off with an 'it'll be ok', despite the fact that it won't be ok, and maybe may not ever be ok (and it's important to understand that)- and not to mention any feeling that maybe people should reciprocate your kindness, noooooo, mean and hurtful words are ok, any protest is taboo.) you're an outcast. This is a very funny thing because misery is a more common emotion than happiness and bliss. Things that make one miserable go on naturally, and of course, there are those people who are convinced,strangely enough, that life is so happy they have to fuck up people's days, presumably to keep a balance.

But one works hard for a spot of happiness, and sometimes even how matter hard you work, it eludes you, and to add to your misery, people will positively blame you for not being happy, even if your brain chemistry might not be balanced, although theirs could go unbalanced and get that same scorn. But noone thinks that the bad things they are blaming people for could ever happen to them- which is pretty darn short sighted. I'd like to leave everyone with the take home knowledge it's bad luck to make fun because someone is depressed or overweight or simply not perfect- as that could be you, and what if that person can't resist revenge? It's better to be a good person than to be a douche. Thank you. Also, it's bad to create a bad situation and then blame someone else for it. If someone is miserable, you better not make them more miserable with platitudes or insults, or you're to blame. So suck on that.

It's Food for Fines time. I wonder if the "I owe $500 to the library" guy can take advantage of this?


Also- "It is trite, but urgently true, that if America is to remain a first class nation, she can no longer have second class citizens" - Martin Luther King Jr.

And remember to donate to bring a soldier home.

This just in- the government helps you, not just your scapegoat of the week. So when you're complaining about made up stories of welfare queens and begruding kids their Headstart, think about this.

A big problem in life is that life is not like TV. This wouldn't be a problem if people didn't expect it to be like that. We talk to people like there aren't thorny complicated problems that can't be solved in thirty minutes, the fact that not everyone is this autonomous master of their own destiny(I'm a whole lot freer than someone dying of AIDs in a poor country without education- and I get this freedom because of lucky birth), and that sometimes bad things happen, and it's not pathological. Jane can be teased by the bully without being an evil person. If there's a problem, we just give pat self serving answers that try to take the blame away from us or our society.

If we try to treat things like this like they are these imagined TV problems, what will happen? We thought we could go in with guns and everyone would love us. What should we do? Should we pull out? Wouldn't that destabilize the country? But how can we stay when many don't want us there? Will we bring back Iraq's army? These question don't have the sort of pat self serving answers that everyone thinks they should.

Link potpourri- The US trains terrorists, but they usually terrorize brown people in other countries, young people are asshats who can't figure out that they need to pay their phone bills, and some dude in a dress. Also, separating the art from the artist, featuring photography(my favorites are the African photos),, and reviewing comicst tips- how not to be the guy who writes a one sentence summary of the story and then says "I liked it" and nothing else. Along with two bonus racial urban legends featuring authentic good news.Enjoy!

I think everyone should read Lolita before watching a movie of it. It is because of my belief that Lolita is a masterpiece- it's a tale of self deception, it's a tale of tragedy and loss, and even a bit of beauty. It's really hard to portray something that is very subtle in a movie, I worry. I love the movies, but there's just not enough space to put everything in- two hours just isn't enough.

The novel Lolita is pretty dependent on wordplay too. You get lulled by this murderer's fancy prose style and then he throws a hook in to throw you. You'll be reading pleasantly along and then Humbert will talk about guardians with orphans on their hands and knees. There'll be fits of self delusion and spaces of clarity.

I talked with a guy who had seen only the movie, and he was like "Oh, that was the one with the freaky little girl?" and I'm like no, asshat. And yes, you have time. If you have time to watch shitty reality show after shitty reality show, you have time to read a book, and maybe even think.

But here is a part of an amazon review blurb for Reading Lolita in Tehran that so beautifully summed up Lolita, I am reprinting it here:

'"Lolita," we discover, becomes a story of a girl who finally escapes from the clutches of a man who wants to erase who she is and turn her into a figment of his imagination. '

In my uninformed opinion, I'd say that we'd need a whole lot less therapy if people were encouraged to be kind to each other and maybe even take the time to listen to someone else for a moment, but since that interferes with buying more shit or something, we can't develop any empathy or try not to be asshats for five seconds, so yes, there's gonna be a lot of therapy going on since noone can talk to anyone anymore.

And if you say, that's just human nature, you're part of the problem, so shut the fuck up, and hopefully shoot yourself so you could actually contribute to humanity.

I don't fault Eminen because of this. He repented. I'm not saying that whites should go around saying bad things about blacks, but apologies, in my eyes, will be accepted. Also, since nowadays, he isn't just enjoying black culture, then running back to the suburbs and whining about reverse racism and the slight possibility that a black person might come within 200 feet of him, I'm willing to give him a pass. What I don't like are whites who enjoy the fruits of our ancestors'(and our) labor, enjoy the culture and music(including that descended from our music), and then come back bitching about blacks, that's just too much. But as long as they respect us, and respect our culture, they are free to enjoy it. Fun is for sharing, you know.

Paper Extension! I'm glad I didn't miss Def Poetry Jam then! It was great- the poets all put real energy into their performance, and there was tons of laughter for all. Also, today's main event-

Phrases That Might Be A Tip Off That You're a Douche:

1) Life Isn't Fair- It's probably not fair because you've created an unfair situation and tried to pin it on the victim, eh? If I spit in your face, it's my own danm fault, not some disembodied 'life' or whatever.

2)Get Over It- Nice empathy and respect for other's feelings. Maybe you should try to listen to someone, asswipe.

3)Your feelings aren't my responsibility- Nice way to take responsibility for your actions. People have way more control over what they say than what they feel, douche.

4)You're Overreacting- Nice way to imperialize your own feelings on someone else's turf. Listen up, dirty rooms drive some people nuts, but I'm not like that. So, do I denounce people who hate dirty rooms or call them names? No, I understand that people can be different from me. People react to different things differently. I dislike it when people say hurtful things to me or disrespect me.

5)Any Variant of Sticks and Stones... - Words can hurt, take responsibility.

6)"He was just joking"(when you weren't there, it's ok if you were there)- It's very rude to tell people how they should feel about something, especially if you weren't there.

The three main characteristics of a douche seem to be lack of respect for others, lack of empathy and lack of responsibility for their own actions. I don't mean the sort of responsibility that lets the people who create bad situations get off scot free, I mean the kind that says "Hey, I control what I do to others."

AIDS as a disease of the wealthy..? This self test applies mostly to management, but it also covers many characteristics of the general douche. Also, this advice isn't too sappy, so I will post the link. I'd also like to note that things don't have to kill you to majorly fuck you up.

On another note, the Final Fantasy radio station on netscape radio needs to start playing more older Final Fantasy music- it's just as good as the music from newer ones.

Newsflash: it seems that racism still exists. Racism denyers(wrong word? but kinda like Holocaust denial- I mean, there are all the facts in front of you, but you chose to stick your fingers in your ears) take note. Also, I'd like to remind everyone to not commit crimes, but dang, it's not so cool that one group can go, commit crimes and then at the end of the day, they are still pretty cool, and one can fly straight and still be fucked with.

I'm thinking about that old soc 101 concept of labeling theory(look up Saints and Roughnecks by Chambliss if interested) in which the poor guys got labeled criminals for the same behavior(basically drinking, small criminal mischief) as the rich kids did, and for which they got thought of as just boys being boys. Maybe social power has something to do with who gets labeled a criminal(even in error- the mere assumption that blacks are criminals can fuck up someone's chances) but I don't know.

A guy from the business school was talking a bunch of stuff about diversity. He told the story of a woman who said "Talent is distributed randomly through out the whole population. If you hire from only one pool, you're overfishing." Think about that. Of course, if you needed to hear that, you're not thinking about it, are you?

I think the very idea of a poetry slam proves that poetry is not dead. Put a little hip hop dressing on it, get the poets to perform a little, and folks are lining up to do it, and even to see it. Something that is dead- no amount of dressing up or anything would be enough to revive it. What I really liked about the slam last night was the sense of the poet's getting out their anger and frustration at their alienation. Others 'make you into an alien' but you don't got to drink the poison, you can spit it out, on the mike.

Even free shit discriminates against singles. I got free tickets for the Def Poetry Jam, and got two of them. Ain't that a shitter. But I got a Unity T Shirt(a small!! woah!) so it's all good. They were handing them out at Better Luck tomorrow if you could answer their questions about Unity events. The poetry slam itself was good- a lot of energy- everything from a guy slamming about McDonald's french fries' former lives as slaves, an Asian guy wishing he could get some Jet Li on some folk's asses when they assume all Asians are the same, and a guy critiquing folks who try to act like they are Afrocentric, but don't know shit about Africa.

This weekend has been pretty good. The ivy pull was pretty cool, but the ivy was really dense this year. If you pulled up one runner, you pulled up a fuckton trying to get the one you want out from under. Also, the community garden was started. I just painted some wood because I didn't feel up to using a saw or a pickaxe. The plan is to give the food to the hungry. Kick ass!

In Love Actually, Natalie is not fat, yet everyone insists on talking about how 'chubby' she is. That's ridiculous. If you want to talk about how fat someone is, get a size 22 person to play the girl, not a size 6. A lot of things stretched belief in that movie, but somehow, I worry that people have gotten so messed up, that they actually think a size 6 is fat. There are a lot of people who are actually fat without defining it down to anyone who has had a sandwich this decade.

MARIN SAMPSON, CEO, SICOR, Inc.: What profound advice can I share with you? I recently saw a quote that sums up how I feel about advice. If it's free, it's advice. If you pay for it, it's counseling. If you can use either one, it's a miracle.


And I say- amen.

Also, the Atlanta Community Food Bank is killing some Nazis with its Community Garden Initiative. Not only does it empower folk to grow their own food, that food can then be donated to hungry folk. Also, gardening improves the health. Keep kicking ass and taking names, ACFB!

Why I whine- I see myself as a primary existence, a full human being, not provisional. I don't see my self as less important or less human than the myriads of people my age bitching about bad boyfriends, whining about tests or just thinking unhappy thoughts about their job. I don't think my concerns are any less important than theirs because...? because what? I can't even answer my own question here. There just seems to be so little difference between me and the folks I see bitching and moaning all the time and getting away with it.

Although one time I exploded since people are always whining around me, and I never get to say anything. This guy was moaning about how unfair his teacher was, and was getting away with it. For the same offense I would have been lambasted. How dare you whine! It surely must be your fault! So I was like 'shut up, if I had said that I'd be told to stop whining" He apologized, and I felt really bad..

(spoilers for Better Luck Tomorrow) Better Luck Tomorrow was pretty good. I liked Lin's camera style. The funny parts were funny, but there were a few notable holes. Like how does Ben get over his cocaine habit? One day, he's like I don't want to do this any more, and we don't get to hear anymore about it. Isn't cocaine really addictive? Also, where is everyone's parents? I don't think that study groups can cover for all the shit that goes down here. Despite the problems, I would like to see it again, even if it's just to see if things clear up for me.

Also, I saw the film at a free showing, so it was weird having the most sqemish girls on the planet in front of me. "Oh my god, gross! a woman's body!" (and I bet these girls have been plugged in every hole except for those too little- let's get real here) and sure, the worms were a little gross, but not that gross, dudes.

While being pissed off about morons(I'm sorry, but just having to apologize does not infringe on anyone's academic freedom. She could say asshat shit all she wants and still keep her job, but she has to take the consequences of her actions- just because someone is rich and has a higher station in society doesn't mean that their actions suddenly become consequenceless) and accommodationists(yea, we totally can't fight AIDS if we're against racism! Negro, please. We have come a long way, and I'd hate to see that eroded because we think the fight is over, or that not being insulted in places we pay good money to go is too much to ask. ) I am encouraged by these radical cheerleaders. Sure, it's a strange idea, but it's good to see people putting some energy into something positive instead of just trying to fuck people over where they can or just scramble for the dollar. I feel a bit of hope for young people, seeing them try to do something constructive.


At least I'll have an awesome Saturday- ivy pull, a community garden opening, and maybe even Love Actually.

Wallpaper of the week- Rydia! W00t! Due to chem, my intelligence has gone down and I have started using crappy slang.

Tight! It's about time! Some may complain, but this guy was just dumb. If I put a monument saying "All you fucking douches should stop being assholes" on the lawn of a court building, people would probably take it down with good reason. Just because his stupid monument dealt with religion doesn't entitle it to special treatment. He'd probably complain if some Muslim dude put up some verses of the Koran or some Wiccan put up some stuff saying "Do what thou wilt and harm none"(probably wrong, no disrespect). So, why does having a Christian monument make it any better than any of these others?

I'm concerned about the little things- living a life of servitude at a restaurant, getting ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome and depression from the stress, the possibility that I'd be a failure and have to kill myself. However, since others are concerned about important things like does this dress make my butt look big,the small things are shoved off the table

I got Nadesico- The Complete Chronicles today. W00t. For only $56( cheap for a real one.) I hope Right Stuf has a CPM sale when my wallet recovers so I can get an Utena box.

I really like Mishima's Confessions of a Mask, because of the dual nature of the protagonist's selfhood. There is what the protagonist and the reader know to be true- the protagonist true sexuality- his homosexuality, and there is what the protagonist protrays to the world- hetrosexualiy. I really like the tension between the two- between what's really going on and what's supposed to be happening.

It reminds me of Dubois' idea of double consciousness- seeing yourself both through your eyes, and the eyes of others. I think more people should read Confessions, despite the masochistic tendancies of the protagonist, but I am just that weird sort who loves to look underneath things. It's sort of the scientist's impulse, the desire to find out what is happening for real.

Scientists, in general, don't seem happy with "The elders told us so" or "God did it"- they want to know why people get sick with the flu, why some children of blonde haired parents have brown hair, why Alzheimers desvastates the brain. I think this impulse would be well transimitted to other fields of inqury. Looking into things can't hurt, can it?

Here's a fun art gallery. I like its theme of being a 'school' for catgirls. Not only does it give the page focus, it also allows the owner to write some amusing descriptions, giving the page even more personality. Many of the pictures are a bit fanservicey, but that's to be expected when you pick such a subject. (I believe the owner of this page is female- and while sexy, the overall feel is less of a drooling teenage male and more of a healthy appreciation for the bodies of women)

Jessica Lynch seems a bit annoyed about the handling of her case. Also, a more complete story, informed by doctor's testimony. I would hope that readers of this blog know to read several sources, and not to get all their news from TV, which has to cut the story down to a 3 minute segment.

And wow, those Brits are on top of things. I swear I didn't know half this stuff. Of course, yadda yadda, but if you don't have anything constructive to say..

I don't feel like studying- so two things-

An awesome thing I saw on video tape recently. This guy was fed up with this other guy fucking his girlfriend while he was trying to sleep. So he rolled some pencil shavings into a 'joint'. The guy falls for it, and smokes it, and starts coughing. The other guy starts to feel some remorse, so says "It'
s pencil shavings!" But the other guy doesn't have the sense he was born with. He says "I can handle that" and grabs for the joint. The other guy eludes him, but he gets it. He tries again. Finally, the other guy stomps on the 'joint'.

Another race thing- whites can have ethnic pride groups. Just declare yourself the German pride or the English pride or the Greek pride group if you're so hyped to have a white pride group.

I like this blog post.

Why I am not a conservative: I think things are way more complex than they say it is. For example, for the last few posts, I have been cussing out racists. Racists tend to think that simplistic solutions will solve all blacks problems: If they pretended to not be black(they'd be treated the same, assholes don't stop their racism because you deny your who you are- but if everyone who identifies works together, maybe we could get somewhere), weren't inherently stupid(this argument is false), and weren't lazy(also false.) To refute the last two, note how many whites are stupid and lazy. For example, the Hilton sisters just sit around and party and look cute. Many folks haven't worked a day in their lives for things- they just inherit money. Fewer blacks have that advantage, so as they start off poor, maybe some of the smart will rise, but the medium and stupid have strikes against them, and even some of the smart get discouraged.

Also, for example- why aren't all blacks rich in the forty years that they have had full rights? First, only two generations(to me, a generation is about twenty years) have been born since then. The black middle class has boomed, as the opportunities have grown. However, the sheer inertia of the whites' 190 year start causes a gap. Where you start off affects where you end up. Because my parents got to go to college and have the opportunities available to them(while blacks in earlier days could go to college, the opportunities were teach or preach), I get to go to a swanky college too, giving me opportunities to fill my resume up with goodies. You also have to jump over some people's attitudes towards blacks. Because of TV putting in blacks whenever something bad happens, many people can become influenced. Also, if a teacher believes that say, the black students aren't as smart as the others, she may label some learning disabled, where she might have given the white kid an extra push. Then the black kids languish in a class room that doesn't teach anything, and are turned off of school.

Not to mention, the practice of using property taxes to fund schools fucks up the schooling of poor folks of every race. And about other ethnic groups- Asians(legally immigrating- also some groups of Asians have problems, but everyone mostly just ignores them) are picked for the best ones. The ones with college degrees(not everyone can even go to high school in places like Japan and China), the ones with successful careers as doctors, say, already. So of course they are going to have a high income, and everyone wants their child to be a success, so the (legal) immigrants push their sons and daughters, and if you come in with a leg up.. (Even blacks from other countries are more likely to have college degrees than native born)

Also, about the oppression of the Irish- after a generation or so, they could learn English, and change their name, and very few people would be the wiser. Try doing that trick while black. Not to mention, the Irish were able to blend in after the sanctions were lifted. The sanctions have only been lifted from blacks for a very short time.

And as for racism, that goes triple for people who are more than willing to slag blacks off, but unwilling to read a fucking book or even talk to a black person. And it's not the 'darkies' fault you don't have a job, damnit. Get your head out of your fucking ass.

Racists make me fucking sick. Dude, if you can't refrain from saying nigger in front of a black person, how can you even call yourself an intelligent human being? I cuss a lot in my head. You can often read me cussing in this blog. However, when I am in public, I refrain from cursing. Now we get to be thought of badly, because one person doesn't think that maybe she should be polite to others. Thank you, Mrs. Asshat. I would have fired that bicth's ass, just so people could see we don't tolerate asshatery.

And don't wear fucking blackface. If you do, you're a fucking moron. I'm sick of racists, why don't they just move to Siberia, and stop fucking up our country if they can't understand that they aren't the only important people in the entire fucking world? Yea, I'm saying that everyone's concerns are important, not just the concerns of rich whites, and if you are whining about it, sit on a pin and spin. Or better yet, read a fucking book for once. Maybe start with this

After I wrote this rant, I remembered that I was stopped by a news crew and asked about this. However, I hadn't heard about this at the time, and so did not get on TV. Good, as I am ugly and inarticulate.

It seems that Spring of 2004 will be a very bad time for my wallet, what with Freaks and Geeks coming out on DVD, and now, the announcement of Invader Zim.

That's pretty funny. And don't despair. There are women in other places than bars and clubs*. You could even get a better quality woman(although I have a bias against promiscuity, I admit it) there.

*Guys think if they can't hack it in the club scene, they are doomed to failure. But there's tons more stuff- there are clubs you can join, classes you can take(men say that dance classes have tons of chicks), friends you can ask if they know any lonely chicks.

Here's an essay about unrealistic optimism. I agree, although I tend to have the delusions of nomalacy sometimes ( I am over optimistic that I can conquer my difficulties at math by doing enough problems.), I realize that that's not a good thing a priori, and I shouldn't try to make people have such delusions and call them names if they don't. I also(possibly delusionally) believe I am more realistic than most people. A note: I have a tendency to get sad, and despondent. It's not as bad as true depression, which numbs folks out, making them incapable of enjoying life for weeks or months, mine only lasts for about an hour or a few hours. However, I find it's better for me to just let this pass, than berate myself for feeling like that or try to pretend that I don't feel bad. Usually something in the actual world has made me feel like that, and usually if I don't deal with a problem it festers. I need to fix the problem to feel better.

Also, on the below note, here's a critque of self help books. I like his(her?) example of realistic thinking.

Another rant for the road, before I pass out. I think social control optimism is just despair with a happy face. I like to make up names for things, that's why I call it social control optimism instead of some perfectly fine word that I'm sure people would use. Social Control Optimism means the whole put on a happy face, stay in your place ideology people are fed. From writing down affirmations to people who think we all create our own reality(as if death would go away if we didn't think about it) to trying to get people not to think any non positive thoughts, keeping everyone running around in circles is popular.

The people who like to use this tell you not to 'whine' (don't be ashamed to whine- who are these people to say they have more power than you? The whole 'whining' thing is a power relationship- I think I have the power to say whether you can express your opinions or not), tell you you need to 'try happiness' (as if one couldn't think and be happy at the same time) or try to pretend that everyone whose life isn't one mass of crazy happiness is this terrible person. (it's another power thing- if a poor person falls on hard times, people bleat about personal responsibility, but a rich person never has to take responsibility for anything it seems)


However, real optimism is different. It sees that there are problems, but believes that change is possible. The problem is that you have to think non positive thoughts about things. Like if you see a bunch of drugged out kids on the corner, instead of thinking "They brought it on themselves, those lazy bums!", you might have to have some empathy for them, and think about ways to keep kids from getting to the point where the only pleasure they have in contained in a needle. It takes a lot more work than just thinking happy thoughts. You have to face reality to change it.

Well, the reason that I am so jazzed lately is that I see everyone around me, and they are all excited about their plans and dreams for their lives. I see some professors excited about their life's work. Today I saw a woman speak about Black classicist and I was in wonder as this women seemed to be in love with a man years and years dead. I hear about these heroes- these men and women who gave their whole lives to something, and I simply can not turn away and feel despair and just shit on life and other people all the time like I see these people do. I can't anaesthetize the wounds with platitudes or say 'life sucks' and go on to ruin other lives. I want to be like the people I see full of hope and vigor. There are people out there who truly enjoy their lives- for real, not just in daydreams.

I may not be optimistic all the time, but I don't try to fuck up anyone else's life because of it, and that makes all the difference. Also, here's a fun 'crazy' rant, which rings pretty true to me. See the interview for some fun actual optimism.

I believe that everyone has power. That no one has to let others control their minds. If you're young, think on that, and for everyone,act on that. I believe in revolution. Not the revolution of splurting blood, but the revolution of turning on our minds.

In my world, there are two kinds of people, cool people and douches. You can tell a cool person by their dreams and goals. They want to uplift their communities or have high personal goals for themselves. You know they are going to make it, because they don't have time for no mess. They spend their time building things up. These people kick ass.

But douches on the other hand, they are up to no good. They spend all their time spitting on anyone who doesn't have it as good as they do. They have plenty of time to complain about how others bitch and whine(i.e. someone who can't beat them up or isn't richer than them expresses an opinion) They love to lay platitudes about how things are supposed to be done on you, but are full of excuses when they can't do something. They give shitty ass advice (like saying shit or get off the pot to a depressed person) and then whine when the person has the balls to tell them to fuck off. Douches think that ruining people's lives makes them better people. They think that bad things happen only to bad people. They never think. So to all the douches, fuck you. If you recognize yourself, you're less doucheish than most douches. You can recover. Try to sink as much energy into trying to improve the world as you do in tearing down your fellow men.

Today I went to a non controversial controversial panel on affirmative Action. While I appreciated the speaker's knowledge, there should have been a dissenter, just for color.

Also, I am really interested in tension between what is supposed to happen and what really does. Our myths say 'if you work hard, think happy thoughts, and compete against others, all will be well". But to me, these myths are ringing hollower and hollower every day. There are so many things I can't just resolve with 'they are just bad people'. I want to find out what is really going on.

I sent a letter to the Emorywheel protesting this offensive article. It appears below:

Reducing a serious mental disease to being �ungrateful� is a slap in the face for everyone at this institution who knows someone who was ever depressed or even anyone who actually thought about the subject. I say you take your volunteer work to the mental hospital to see some depressed people instead of just wagging the finger. I am aware that it is not popular to have empathy for others or actually try to understand their problems before mouthing off about what bad people they are. However, it is greatly more selfish to not care about your fellow man, than it is to have emotions that some people don�t agree with. People are not obligated to change how they feel to please you.

I am sick of the pathologizing of people having any emotions other than a near manic state of happiness. Bad things happen, even to good people, and we become sad as a result. Reality doesn�t care if you didn�t worry, and in fact, worry can empower you to do more than if you were in la la land. I know a mere letter can not make you think before you insult billions of people, but I�d like to remind thinking people- this isn�t Brave New World, and it shouldn�t be. Better a danm than a Gramme.

New study gives evidence that prayer makes no difference in healing of disease. I'd like to remind people to go to the freaking doctor if they have health problems. Herbs, happy thoughts, and prayers are nice and fun, but it's not ok not to get checked out. There is no conspiracy against the herbalists, etc.- if a scientist proves some popular therapy works, he gets a lot of attention for his work. There's actually more temptation on this side.

I'm a bit skeptical about the whole religion and medicine thing. It's good to have a chaplain on hand if people need it- but couldn't some of this time spent on studying this be better spent on things that actually cure, not just make you feel better about it? We're awfully touchy feely for a people with lots of diseases still needing cures. Also, folks, look at the data bank on the 2nd or so page.

I'm not a religious person, but if there was a God, you'd think He/She would provide brains and the opportunity for people to use them to help each other, rather than sitting back and just relying on him to bail them out of everything. So go, use your brains.

I actually prefer anime to religion, personally. It's good for you- you laugh, it distracts you. But I have never heard of anyone dying because of anime.

Victims of the world, unite! I think that being pissed off is a much better response to being fucked over, than worrying about what you did wrong, and how you could have possibly caused this. The latter is my tendency, which is of course, encouraged by society. If someone does you wrong, you're supposed to whip yourself about it. Although, as of late, I've been getting angry. It's not ok to be an asshole just because I won't blow you away with a gun. It's not ok to hurt others because you have an inflated sense of your own importance.

People may complain about victimhood, but the only way to not be a victim anymore, is to ignore their rhetoric. Hating yourself only keeps you chasing your tail, and noone can kick any ass but their own that way. If you're so busy worrying about how awful you are, there's no room for any real action to be done against those who have hurt you. Those people tend to prey on those who listen to morons who think that just ignoring them will work. Don't do it, kiddies. Punch them in the face, take the suspension. I think even your parents would understand that.

Believe me, noone has the right to hurt you. I don't care how big they are, how rich their parents are, how they act when the teachers are watching. I guess that's my public service announcement for the day. Too bad I can't go in and tell kids that at school. It'd be a bit too edgy for schools and cause some problems. I mean "No one has the right to hurt you"? That would be revolution in schooling. People would actually be able to learn maybe. Oh well, a pipe dream.

It seems that iTunes is steaming right along, getting to the million song mark about three and a half days after release, twice as fast as the Mac version. I wonder how this will change things. I know I waste substantial time fooling with it.

The good ol' Onion, funny and true! Assholes aren't very fun people for me. I prefer mature people who can make a joke without leaving someone scarred for life. I'm all for humor, but the sort of humor everyone can laugh at and enjoy. When someone makes a mean joke, I usually end up thinking about how I would feel, causing it not to be very funny. However, if someone makes a funny joke, I laugh and enjoy myself. I am not a funny person, although I tend to try to create an environment where funnier people can make jokes and everyone can enjoy themselves. I'll say something knowing that a person who can make a joke will, and everyone laughs without making anyone want to kill anybody. So by recognizing my weaknesses, I compensate without being a jerk.

This article is a very good overview of the state of our hysteria about teen sexual health. I especially like the point about giving teens things to do other than fuck or hang around in the freaking library(when I was in Memphis, tons of unsupervised teens were in the main library because they had nowhere to go. They can barely even go to Peabody Place because of the restrictive dress codes- they put the mall up in an urban area, with projects, and then expected the people from there not to go) I'm not a parent, but couldn't they at least donate some time to Habitat for Humanity? When I was a teen, I loved that shit. It should be even better for dudes because strength and heavy lifting gives a nice way to feel masculine without doing something negative.

Right on*! I'm sick of seeing the same old black film. Innovate, damn you! The last good black film(and that's stretching a bit) I saw (Sunshine State) was directed by a white dude(although I did think he was black, the movie was that good- I'm not putting down white people, but it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes) We have such good movies as Eve's Bayou, Devil in a Blue Dress, and Do The Right Thing in the 90s, but in the 00's, what we got? Some more minstrel shows? I don't want to see black folk act like clowns- we got enough clowns in real life, I don't need to see it in a movie. They need to have more stories that simply deal with life, or at least a believable character or two. We have had some progress, not all black folks in movies are from the ghetto(as a non ghetto living black person, I think we should represent, personally) but there's a great deal more places to go.

*Giancarlo Esposito is black and Italian for those who don't know. I liked that, since Sal and his folks are Italian. I like that Spike showed some white people with ethnicity. White people didn't just appear in the US, they came from Europe, darn it. Many white folks I know can tell you what percent they are this and that. But then again, I'm probably just a weird person, but seriously, you got the dishes from this or that great grandmother, sometimes even festivals about their ethnic pride. That would be interesting to talk about in a movie, personally. I also like black movies about the different cultures of black people, as we aren't some big monolith, you know?

It's time for Love Witch wallpaper.

When I was a kid, the labeling hysteria (everyone's LD, everyone's ADD) hit the black kids the hardest. Because of some one's say so, they were labeled with something wrong with them for life, and held back academically in 'special' classes. I escaped this with the mere label of having a lisp. When the second round of labeling came by in middle school, in which we would be divided into normal and honors, I passed easily, being put into honors for say, English, and pre algebra for math.

Of course, there is a split in my abilities. While doing extremely well in English with no prompting, I needed a teacher who actually knew what they were doing in the math department. I was a B (or in latter days, C student in math) This is not a disability- many people made such grades. The third round of labeling attempts is in high school, in which they divide you into honors, AP, regular, and vocational track classes. Many blacks were stuck in the last, although I was in the first for English, history, and biology, and only in honors for chemistry, and in regular for math. This is not a disability many people went into regular math in high school.

So now I am in college, and am seeing a strange difference in this labeling process. I forgot my lab notebook, so instead of trying to help, I get a labeling attempt. This is not a good idea, as these labels are deeply stigmatizing, and without any more proof than that you should not be making an attempt. I have seen girls dump their unknowns and forget to put their test tubes in their lockers. Are they 'disabled'? Worse yet, this prevents me from getting the help I need. I passed Calculus because instead of insulting and stigmatizing me, my teacher let me come before class, and helped me with the problems.

She did not feel the need to ask if I had checked with disability services. She did not feel the need to imply that I was a deficient person because I didn't do this one thing to 'standard'. My chemistry teacher has this problem constantly- implying that we are all stupid because we all failed the quiz isn't going to help us do better dude. And also, I find the idea that you can decide that I am a moron based on one score sort of dumb. Of course, if I was labeled in childhood, I would not be here. They would have retarded my progress and made me feel I was dumb, and couldn't learn. In fact, some of this effect has been observed, although I am an adult. I still feel rage about this, etc. I am even considering sending an editorial to the school newspaper.


Of course, people will insult me for this, but I'd like to tell them to go fuck themselves. Also, a weird link about this. Also, apparently, forty percent of folks are 'diagnosed' in college- although a real pervasive deficit would probably been noticed earlier.

I watched Bowling for Columbine today. It was good newstainment, agit prop and prank theater all at once. I am slightly confused at the controversy this movie has caused. When we watch the news, we do not get an unbiased picture. Someone decides what footage to put in, what facts to present, what angle they are trying to play to. Not to mention, there is the issue of Foxnews, which may not be 100% accurate.

The focus on the culture of fear was really interesting to me. I remember this year, walking down the streets of downtown Atlanta in broad daylight, and seeing this girl who I was walking to the car with(because she had left her costume for the sci fi convention in the car) freak out because this man said "hey, nice stockings!" to me. She was white and the guy was black, think about it. I also remember a lot of school hysteria. From cheerleaders fearing the freaks to parents fearing all of us, there was a lot of fear and craziness going on. I remember thinking it was ridicolous.

Also, here are two opposing* sides on the factual accuracy of the film, and also, I reccomend an essay about the need for truth to be told in memoirs in this month's Believer magazine.

*However, the statement here about Moore not being sued by anyone is inaccurate, although this is relatively new news.

This whole thing has been attributed to Howard Dean, but unfortunately, I can't find where it came from. Read and think about it. I post this because I think this is an important thing to talk about if we're going to fix the problem.

Talking About Race

Race is a difficult subject in America. Politicians often tell black audiences that they believe in civil rights and affirmative action. Some talk about their own experiences in the Civil Rights movement. Some are now attacking the use of the word quotas in front of white audiences. Doing all of this is important.

But it is not enough.

No white American can understand what it means to be black in America. Things have improved significantly for African Americans in this country since 1964. However, it is important to recognize that the Civil Rights Movement was largely a victory over legal segregation. Discrimination still exists, and we must continue efforts to eliminate it.

Polls show that the majority of white Americans believe that race is no longer a big factor in American life, and that equality of opportunity has mostly been successfully incorporated into American political and social culture. Many white Americans assume that whatever segregation remains in the public school systems and universities around the country is either self-imposed or the product of neighborhood schools.

Bill Clinton is the only President or white Presidential candidate I have ever heard talk candidly about issues of race in America. Black Americans still believe, with some justification, that white America does not understand the historical scars left by slavery and Jim Crow, scars which cannot be erased in a generation or two. Black Americans often mistake white indifference or lack of understanding for racism, which is the case in only a small number of instances.

But many white Americans don't understand that indifference and lack of understanding does lead to institutional racism, where, despite the best intentions of the individuals who run the institution, day-to-day hiring practices only reinforce African American fears and suspicions of bias. Just last week, a Wall Street Journal article reported that white job applicants with criminal records were more likely to be called back for job interviews than African American applicants with clean records.

Affirmative action is still needed in order to overcome the unconscious biases that all Americans of every ethnic group have toward hiring people like themselves. And the discussion of that unconscious bias is essential if we are ever going to bridge the gaps between white America and not only African Americans, but the Latino community, Native-Americans, Asian Americans, and women of all ethnic backgrounds.

Talking about race means more than merely mentioning civil rights or condemning the President's use of the word quota. Talking about race means confronting ourselves with the vastly different perceptions that we have about each other, and trying to walk a mile in one anothers shoes.

Race is not simply a matter of civil rights; it can influence the right to thrive and prosper in American society. A discussion of race is incomplete without addressing the impact of race or ethnicity on the ability to access affordable health care, quality education and the capital to build businesses and create wealth.

It is particularly important for white candidates to raise these issues in front of white audiences. This kind of message can be too easily dismissed or pigeonholed coming from a member of a minority community. If America is going to prosper as the most diverse nation on the face of the earth, we are all going to have to take responsibility for the stereotypes we have of each other, and debunk them.

Let us each commit to do our part.

-Governor Howard Dean, M.D.

Song recommendation for the Day: Rockin' The Suburbs by Ben Folds Five. It's nice STFU to guys who think they have the right to bitch when they haven't even tried to pay a fucking due, and if they had to switch places with someone who actually had paid dues would fucking kill themselves. I'm not putting down people in actual pain, and note that to some extent pain is relative, but to tell the truth, I don't care if they made you read an actual book in school, even if it was by a black person or a woman, or that they made some black person recite a Langston Hughes poem on the school TV show once a freaking year. Go and volunteer in a freaking soup kitchen or at least read about people getting their limbs chopped off by machetes or something.

For readers with nappy hair, Nappturality has come back from a redesign. It's a very good resource for those wanting to go natural.

I like iTunes in the evening where there are a lot of people to mooch...I mean 'share' from. It's interesting to hear what others are listening to, but I think it is weird that others are listening to my paltry collection of music(I still prefer CDs for more than one song)

Porco Rosso will be out in April 2004. The first and second seasons of Sailor Moon are complete and uncut in box sets, although try to watch out for pirates when getting them used. If you're not sure if a particular title is liscenced, animeondvd.com has a pretty comprehensive list, and the anime news network site seems to have a lot of news about what is coming down the pike.

Don't get ripped off by anime bootlegs. Words to watch out for : extra cheap + 'import set' (the real Japanese DVDs tend to cost double what we pay for a DVD in the US), 'all region' or 'region 0' (near all anime DVDs that are licensed are 'region 1'(this is for North Americans), Chinese subtitles, etc.

Why should you care? First, you're paying for something that will probably not have the best translation or picture quality, second, you're paying for what you could get for free. If you're going to pirate, don't pay to pirate. Third, anime companies put out what is profitable. If you're getting ripped off on your favorite show, it's sequel might not come over. So remember, don't be dumb, get a real one!

I still don't want to write my essay, so I'll talk about a surprising occurrence. Once I saw a documentary on Malcolm X on BET(actually having programming that might uplift someone? woah!) but the end bothered me. In the shot you can tell that the classroom is integrated, but only the black kids get up and say "I'm Malcolm X!" (in the shots shown, of course).

I think kids of all races should have done that, since it would have honored Malcolm change of heart. I am remembering these details from The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Anyway, Malcolm X went to Mecca and saw how many different races of Muslims there were, and he had a change of heart. He went from talking about white devils to talking about the connections between different people. That is my favorite turning point ever.

I think that people of every race should be inspired by Malcolm standing up for his rights. Even if he did go wrong in the beginning, I think that we all will go wrong in our lives. Maybe it's better to be able to admit you're wrong than thinking you have to be right all the time. I think that maybe if we learn from what came before, we can become better people.

I don't want to write, so I will rant. My co worker said what I wanted to say. My boss is always like "Sorry your job sucks", and I want to say "What is this supposed to be- the happy fun club? This is a job". But my co worker was much nicer. She said "This is a pretty easy paycheck". And she's right. My biggest work related worries are "Is this skirt modest enough to go to work in?" and "There's nothing good on the radio" and I get a fatter paycheck for less work than I would some other places.

I'm not saying I don't do my work. In fact, I work very hard at it. However, if you're just filing, it's pretty hard to make this work hard, you know? I don't have to talk to people who are angry or babysit someone's random screaming kids. I don't even have to stand up.

One sign you are never getting a real job: You think that Eminem's song "Cleaning Out My Closet"'s connections to confessional literature would be interesting to explore in a short essay.

Random consumerist tidbits. I bought the Nadesico collection from Rightstuf on its Halloween sale. Some may be like 'get it from Ebay', but Ebay is rife with fakes(shitty picture quality, bad translation, your money goes to rip off artists, instead of the people responsible for bringing this stuff to you- unlike the whiners, I understand that anime doesn't come out by magic- those liscencing fees help the companies in Japan produce more anime. )

Also, I had never been in a Loehmann's before, so I was very confused by their store layout. Why do they group it together by designer? Although, this helped my dad spot the display with the skirts that I have been craving. I have one for my prim librarian outfit on Halloween and one just for fun. I am dressing up two days this year- tommorow and Halloween. Tommorow I'll be a Scarlet Woman(who is very tastefully dressed)

I also hate Walmart. Not only do they not let workers form unions(it's the largest private employer in the US- you can't just dismiss these people ), it's full of screaming kids. Great shopping experience? No.

Oh, and gang rape ain't cool.

My new word is perp. A perp is a person who tries to victimize others. I read an article in Bitch magazine(loved it, loved it- articles on the "Cucumber Incident", on Carnie Wilson and Fat Acceptance, an interview w/ the Persopolis author who asks 'why does everyone always ask me why I chose to do a comic? and much more) about domestic abuse victims and pop psych.

I agree with the author that's there's too much stress on how awful the victim is and not enough on how awful the perp is. If you spend all your time ladling guilt on the victim, saying that they are co dependent,etc, all you have is a woman chasing her tail.

But if you punish the perps, the abuse stops, and it stops forever. If we spent half the amount of time we spent trying to hurt the already broken, and more time on standing up to perps, there wouldn't be so many perps.

So if you sit around defending perps, saying "Oh boys will be boys" or "That's just human nature". Think of what stake you have in the status quo. What do you have to gain by having all forms of abuse go on forever?

I think you know what the answer is.

Inspired by Dean's World, which is usually an intelligent conservative blog.

I'd like to say that I don't like misogynistic men. If you have to go to great lengths to 'prove' that half of the human race is not 'logical' (like all men are just the most logical beings on the planet, too) and you try to say that women never did anything(being a goldfish and not seeing that for years, women weren't allowed to do much of anything), maybe you're a misogynist.

My other pet peeve is guys who can't take rejection. Some hot young thing that is way out of their league says "I just want to be friends", and they act like all women are evil incarnate, and just want to be beaten with tire irons. Bonus points for guys who say "No Fat Chicks". I mean, thanks for proving you are slime. If you have to have this perfect girl, why can't she want the perfect guy? And it's not you, because you have the social skills of a poo flinging chimp, and probably smell like one too, but somehow you deserve a girl who looks like your favorite Everquest character? Yea, that's going to happen.

I also don't like goldfish in general. It's not to hard to read the occasional book or even an educational TV show. Just because your parents raised you on Twinkies, ho hos and male supremacy, doesn't mean you need to be a nimrod for the rest of your life. 'Waaaah, it was a long time ago". No, it wasn't, dumbass. If someone's sitting up, telling you about their own experiences with it, it's not a fucking long time ago. How did things that have happened within the life time of a man become so long ago? Being young, I can't say that things that happened before I was born are irrelevant, because the world we live in now comes from the world they lived in then.

You know who makes the rules and laws? Middle aged to old people, mostly. Most folks sitting up in Congress and your state legislatures, etc, are past the age of thirty. What happened to them in their youth and young adulthood, even now effects what laws they are going to pass, and what things they are going to say.

For example, Vernon Jordan(the author of Vernon Can Read, and also a player in the Clinton impeachment trial) was on TV last night, talking about how he was refused an internship, because he was colored. (and the folks really said that, too)Don't you think that is going to affect his worldview? In fact, he joined the Civil Rights Movement, which changed the face of our country.

The thing is to realize that we are not disconnected from what came before. The past's future is the present, and if you forget that, you're going to make the same mistakes or even worse than what came before.

Two dandy Peter Bagge comics all for you. From Reason magazine, and The Stranger. Extra Credit for the Kiddies: for the Reason cartoon, find three ways Bagge underlines the point he made in the text in the picture.

My definition of a 'long time ago': So long ago no one's alive to tell the story to you.

Major Problems:

Things that are keeping me from deciding on a major:

1)Talent:
I'm not good at anything that actually has job potential.

2)Temperment: People are mean to me already. I don't need a job in which people look down on me because I didn't have such good luck as them.

3)Parents: I don't think that I can pay my own tuition, which makes wasting money a very guilt ridden thing to do

4)Debt: You can't pay off debt with a paper hat. on your head, let me tell you.

The wallpaper for the week is this. I needed a happy picture today to match my mood. Maybe after my midterm, I can finally watch Spirited Away again.

Young people complaining about political correctness confuse me. Are they seriously pretending to remember a time in which non whites or women or gay people weren't allowed their free speech rights to say "Hey, why don't you stop being an asshole?". I think the whole position is a bit wussy. You can say offensive things if you want, it's just that noone will have any sympathy for your moronic ass. If you need sympathy to offend people, what sort of person are you?

Yea, you can still call people the n word, but don't be surprised when people look at you funny or beat you down. You still have the choice, others just can say, fuck you to you. I think maybe that's a better set up, but I am a young person, and not white, and plus, I'm really small. So I think hmmm, maybe I shouldn't be an asshole to this 6 foot tall person... But then again, I grew up in an environment where people were mostly of different race from me, so maybe I have learned to be less of a bastard in general.

Also, about this guy: what a moron. You can't take a symbol and pretend it means whatever you want. I can't wear a Swaztika and say "It stands for how much I like magazines." If you're working in that sort of job, not offending the people who are probably going to come to you probably is a good idea.

Hey, everyone. Give stuff to the kids of Iraq! Just my do gooding for the day. This site is also about sending toys to the children of Iraq. It expresses this person's hopes about what the toys might help create.

I'm a morning person. I always have the greatest energy and hope in the light of the rising sun. I like to believe in hope, and revolution. Maybe it's not the best thing to believe in, but hey, people believe in worse everyday.

I like old MoTown Songs- those tended to show a lot of hope. I'm listening to People Get Ready now. I see it not as a religious song, but as a song about revolution. Isn't that odd? But then again, everyone changes the songs they listen to to fit into what they are thinking about. I rarely think about God, but I often think about changing things.

So let's end with a quote- "There ain't no room for the hopeless sinner, who would hurt all mankind just to save his own"

Yay, it seems that the Critic is coming to DVD in February. I only saw a few episodes, but what I saw captivated me.

At MC contests, I greatly prefer MC's who make clever references, whether it be from the Bible, pop culture or just what's in the news, to show why their opponents are secretly faggots who suck cock, that their opponent's female relatives are sexually promiscuous (extra points if you can put a reference to matzoh balls in there) and that their race is full of terrorists who crash planes into buildings*.



*Although I'd prefer you not bring up people's ethnicities. But if you're going to do it, make it clever.

A note for Windows users: remember to download the newest Windows service packs.before using iTunes. Mine used to skip before I updated. Yes, I don't always download the lastest service packs. Oh well.

I've heard a delicous rumor. Princess Tutu might be liscenced. I look foward to the day.

I'd like to remind everyone to be empowered. You don't have to be on dope or in thrall to a cult leader to have a good life, unless you have a very severe condition.

Woooohoooo! After a year or more of not writing one line, I wrote some poetry. It's only substandard haiku about chemistry, but it's something. Of course, I will not make the general public suffer my poetry.

Great news for legit music lovers. itunes for windows! An odd feature that I have noticed- a 'music allowance' for kids. I guess that makes sense, but you wouldn't think people would think of that.

This also means that illegal downloaders have to shut up. It's not $18 or whatever fake ass price you made up for one song, and the RIAA is embracing the online market. $1 to 'sample' the same song you've 'sampled' three million times on the radio isn't that much. Although, I think I might use this to get into some of that conscious hip hop I've been hearing about.

I will have to be careful, or I'll be broke, just on finding the perfect MoTown arrangement(if they have it, I have to check)


Also, here's a random piece by some smart old dude

I'm politically correct and proud. I call people what they want to be called. I don't think it's sooooo haaaaaard to not call people names. I realize that there's not just one group that has the monopoly on mattering, and that people's achievements don't stop being achievements because they were born the 'wrong' race or sex. I even try to listen to other people's viewpoints instead of thinking that what I see from my side is the be all end all. I think these are traits that more people should have, but that's just me.

Today I saw Women in the Mirror. It's a pretty good movie. It has that whole theme of searching down. The mother is searching for her daughter, and her past. The woman who may or may not be her daughter is searching for herself, and a connection to others. The grand daughter is searching for herself also.

I like the whole mirror motif. The broken glass seems like the open wound Hiroshima has left on everyone. I like how everyone ends up being reflected in the mirror, or seen 'through' the mirror.

I also like the omious score. Apparently this was a pre premeire showing or something.

I am amused that the skeptic dictionary has an entry on neurolingual processing. Anyway, the upshot is that if it's too good to be true, if it promises to change your life, if someone is selling you something(a book, a magazine, vitamins) it's probably not the best thing to base your life off of. If more people followed those rules, a lot of people would not be huckstered.

I think that putting God into schools is a big problem as there are so many different sorts of people in our country. We have atheists, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists. If one god gets put in, we have to put all gods or lack of beliefs in god into our schools, and that'd be a bit waste of time. Oh, and here's what brought this on.

It's interesting that I have found some articles articulating my vague discomfort with pop pysch. I really don't believe in it, as I have noticed it seems a lot like the religious fads I sometimes see- like WWJD, the prayer of Jabez or fasting(for protestants, I mean). Everyone gets all excited about it, and it's the whole new thing, and then it dies down.

However, pop pysch seems to be a bit more damaging because most people don't know that say, magazine articles or books have a bias whether intended or not. They are slanted to what seems to sell more, and outrageous claims and selective use of journal articles seems to sell more than careful documentation and more measured claims.

Also, the fact is that no one thing can be the way as people vary. So when people try to fit everyone into one mold, it doesn't work. For example, I'm not very spiritual, so a spiritual answer might not work for me.

So I say that everyone should approach things with caution and use their critical thinking skills.

Today, I went into a black bookstore for the first time. Let me explain. In the suburbs, independent book stores are very rare, and bookstores catering to blacks are even rarer. So curiosity caused me to be able to give Afro books a chance. It was a basic bookstore, although a bit of clearer labeling of the sections would be nice. There was a very large sale as the bookstore had too many of the same books. I would have also liked a bit of a larger selection, but it's not like I come in all the time, and people have to cater to the people who actually come in and buy stuff.

I got Wounds of Passion by bell hooks, and Black, White, and Jewish by Rebecca Walker. Maybe I won't have time to read since it's mid terms time, but at least I know when I have time, I will be in for a treat, and if it's not so good, at least I only paid five dollars each.

If any readers are about to graduate from college, and are worried about getting a job, I would urge them to consider the Teach for America program. Not only will this help bridge the gap between well funded schools and not so well funded schools, people in this program will also be paid and trained. It's a great way to help. And for everyone else, become a tutor, teach a kid to read or do math. It's so rewarding, and helps bring up achievement.

Just because you can't change the world doesn't mean you have to give up and die. This summer, I was in an internship program, which matched up minority students with hospitals so they could intern there. The assistant director said some things that I found interesting. He talked about how we should use this experience so that we got the position where we have the power. I think that while revolution is alright, the people who come from inside the system and change it are even better. The people who educate the next generation are the best of all. So stop being a prick, and get out there and do it!

"Are we going to live together, or are we going to live..." Mister Senior Love Daddy. Do The Right Thing

I don't believe that everyone gets to where they are in life by themselves. My parents didn't do crack, they fed me so I could become intelligent(malnutrition makes you stupid), and they worked hard and sacrificed so I could go to school. So I can't really look down on the poor, or the knocked up, or anyone. Maybe if I had raised myself from a baby or something I could pretend that I wasn't helped or that I wasn't dealt a good card. But very rarely do you see someone make it by themselves, even Bill Gates had a rich family.

This blog's entry for today has so much truth in it, I can't say anything better. I think that we should confront racism. I don't mean like the Black Panthers, and I realize that anger itself is not a revolution, all this pretend it doesn't matter shit isn't going to help anyone. I feel that we can prevent bad things from happening in the future if we do somehting today. I don't mean we can prevent everything, but seriously, there's a bit of causality here. I should study chemistry and create a future in which I've passed it now, tho.

But before then, this comic strip sums it all up.