Well, I do admit that there are some things that I get very shocked if people don't know, even if the knowledge isn't very common. I basically expect everyone my age and older to have a base of knowledge- although much of my knowledge was gained by reading books, magazines and websites outside of the classroom. I guess I think everyone has a basic desire to better themselves, and that if they feel that they don't need to better themselves, they'll at least be quiet when, to use an old phrase, grown folks are talking.

My pet peeve in this is anything about blacks. I'm sorry, but just because you talked to one black doesn't make you educated about all blacks. I'm black, I've read books about blacks, and I've talked to black people, yet I do not feel educated enough about black issues sometimes. Although, I have at least made a good faith effort to learn. Most people spouting racist crap know little besides MLK(that's why his corpse gets raped so much) and maybe about slavery if they are lucky. Yet, they think they are experts. Not knowing anything about basic basic things they need to know if they are going to be decent citizens and make informed choices, they think they know it all.* Sad.


*Note the assumption that blacks are full human beings and important to our country's future, to understand my viewpoint.


Also, it seems that both Shawn Fumo and Michael Blowhard linked my blog. I am super glad about that.

Yesterday, I got a new issue of Bitch. It was full of the usual goodness- musings on the social implications of SFW and NSFW, an interview with the voice actor for Peggy Hill noting that she had posed in a PETA ad, and an article talking about how lesbian kisses on the air may be both good and bad for lesbians.

On that note, I've never really seen too much of an emphasis on lesbians in Bitch. Yea, there's lesbians, it's a women's magazine, and not one whose primary objective is to sell you anti aging cream, you know? I guess that if there were a lot of lesbian coverage in Bitch I missed it since lesbianism really doesn't stand out for me. Some chick likes another chick? Well, that's not enough for me to forgo a good magazine, as some letter writers have suggested.

Bitch also admirably has some multicultural coverage across the issues, by which I mean coverage on black women in sci fi, interviews with one of the creators of Girlfriends, an interview with Peggy Hill's voice actor, an interview with Margret Cho, and in this issue, a long essay on why hip hop is considered political nowadays, and r&b, India.Aire nonewithstanding is not considered political.

It's good to see all different sorts of voices in a magazine- treating only one group as the one true whatever, and then seeing all other groups as invisible or not important enough to waste time on is pretty annoying. (Yes, there are even male voices in Bitch- the aforementioned SFW/NSFW article was created by a man). I'm not saying a magazine can't have focus, but so many magazines don't seem to think about their focus and mostly just end up putting out the advertiser's story.


On a slightly related note, I think I should check out Fierce more often- the first issue was pretty thin, but I hear it's gotten better.

I know I am blogging up a storm this morning, but I am just so excited! (and my mood is abnormally high- just lay down and don't make any major decisions!) Anyway I am pretty excited about the Bandai repricings. This is especially exciting for people who have been holding off on getting Fancy Lala- for ten bucks each, it's especially worth getting this sweet little series now. I should redo my Lala club page. I haven't updated it for so long. Also, if you're a Lala fan, do join the fancy lala mailing list.

My interpretation of this is that they've gotten all the costs of licensing,etc, out of the way, and now can use these as loss leaders. I think Fancy Lala makes a rather good loss leader, too. For example, it's really good to show to little kids, to make them shut up, thus causing the creation of a new generation of anime fans.

I don't really mind furries, and don't get people complaining about them. Yea, some are really weird. But it's not like it's my god given duty to enforce conformity on people I don't know. They go, draw pictures of cat girls, maybe wear a cat tail or cat ears, and don't bother me. I know some of you are saying, 'but what about fur suits and yiffing!' That also doesn't bother me, just as long as it's in private. Some people in every little fandom will be extreme. I mean, I watch Japanese cartoons, and sometimes talk about them, but I am aware of people who draw really gross hentai and dress up in weird ways. Does this make me stop in the middle of Utena and run away screaming? No.

So I can see how a relatively normal furry can go, draw a few pictures, and maybe pretend to be a fox or something sometimes. I guess that even when I was a child, I had a rich internal life, so I can see people doing something in their imaginations, and not hurting anyone. I mean, modern life isn't so good for most of us- most folks are just cogs in a wheel, as the old cliche goes. So I can see someone trying to spice it up by pretending they are a fox. People cope with life in many ways- some go to religoin, some like to draw comics of little anthromorophic foxes. At least furries aren't trying to change laws so that us normal people can't live like we want to.

And just a note- I don't think stereotypes are based in reality- what I mean is the reality of how most of a group lives- many stereotypes start off from the most extreme of a group, the farthest from how the group lives their everyday lives and then they don't just stop there. They stretch and they grow. Someone's brother in law's best friend's aunt saw this member of the group and they were just awful. Anecdotes are spread and exaggerated in the telling. Maybe the news media gets into it, and writes a horribly distorted article or focuses constantly on only the crazies in the group.

On an aside, I hear ya Millie. Simpson really gets bullying right- the worst part is knowing that people value the perps more than you. To an adult, it might not matter, but if you're a kid, and all the adults see relentless torture of you as ok, and any retaliation as evil, that sends a message, and not a good one,

Into every life, some rain must fall, the saying goes. However, people think this means the rain falls evenly. Some people have a lot of sunshine and some a lot of rain. Chance and luck plays a part in this that most don't want to admit- none of my actions caused me to be born in America, where I could get an education and have tons of food. I was also born in the middle class. However, I also am shorter than my peers, soft spoken and just intelligent enough to know that there are problems, but not a super genius. Of course, the society I live in has also shaped the rain in my life. I tend to realize things that while uncomfortable are probably true.

For example, I realize that in this society, I am not really valued. I'm not extroverted, nor am I good at math(I mean in the way that lets you become a doctor, not in the math for math's sake way- I hear the latter have a hard time) , nor am I beautiful. Some people think that who I am makes me worth less(there really are people out there who aren't fond of blacks or don't like women) This of course goes against the grain.

I also realize that for me, the old trite sayings no longer really have any meaning. 'Do what you love' sounds great- but hasn't anyone noticed all the waiters who want to be actors or think they are writers? 'Try your best!' also rings hollow in a success based society. It sounds good, but who has your back when you fail? Certainly not the people saying that.

While this is better than starving to death, I certainly can't be happy about it just because others are miserable. I never did get people that somehow thing that just because others are dying horrible deaths of AIDS, I'm supposed to be happy. That actually just makes me sad. Of course, I recognize that if we didn't have a bunch of asshats thinking that 'if they just tried harder not to get AIDS, they wouldn't have it, so we shouldn't help them', that situation would actually get a lot better.

The problem is that if you let a bunch of trite crap blind you to reality, you tend to cause a lot of suffering. Of course, noone is going to be convinced of the importance of kindness to their fellow man, seeing problems realistically, so to get a real fix, and that lives aren't created equal by reading my blog, but maybe someone's on the borderline- already being pretty decent, and sees this and says 'hey, maybe she's right'. Probably not tho.

I'd love to be kind, patient, tolerant and fair, but I really have a hard time of it. Oh, I'd love to be oh, yes, conservatives! I see your point! But I have very little sympathy for conservatives in this case. I think it's because of pop conservatism and its heavy dose of white supremacy. Let me explain. I like to believe there is a special breed of conservative. They've looked at all the alternatives, read a few books, and taken a few courses, they've thought about what they learned, and came up with their view point.

These people usually tend to have good ideas, not too kooky. I don't mean those who pretty up the ideas of the other type in prettier words either. On the other hand, we have pop conservatives. They come off, spouting a bunch of stuff usually along these lines- my brother's friend's cousin's mother's sister didn't get a job, and a black person did, so that means whites are oppressed, or if we didn't have all this multicultural(their kid had to read 'Things Fall Apart' in English class) in schools, kids would be smarter, or the schools fell apart when they took Christ out of the schools(Christ is supposed to be in your hearts- if he's in your heart, not making every kid pray to Jesus in the morning won't take him out), or the poor should just get a job!

I have very little patience for this type. I know, kindness, tolerance,etc. But there seems to be a high amount of intolerance ingrained in this world view- like if the idea that if we teach all of American history, people are somehow shortchanged, has a sort of bad ring to it. How come the history of people of different skin colors should be omitted? Is it that they don't think it's 'important' enough? If Jesus is taught in all the schools, what does that tell the kids of other religions about theirs? And so, if the poor are just lazy, and of bad moral character, does that make the rich somehow better than them?

If I was a more mature, kind, saintly type, I'd reach right in my huge heart full of saintliness, and even though they trivitalize the nature of oppression by claiming they are oppressed when they are not, I'd be full of love. I'd say yes, conservative views should be represented more on campus! However, in the real world where I am really grumpy, I'm like I'm sure it's not the conservative that knows his stuff that is going to benefit from this- it's the crazy ass pop conservative. I think it's because of the ratio. It's like liberals- for every single liberal who is smart, and knows his stuff, there are 5 who think that we should hug all the animals or something. While having someone who thinks we should hug all the animals teaching a class doesn't bother me, because if the student disagrees, it can easily be dismissed. It's not part of the mainstream.

But white supremacy, the canonization of wealth, and religious bigotry are in the mainstream. Instead of teaching kids against the grain, we just help them become snug in their little Foxnews cocoon... No sir, I don't like it.

Another thing is that I think people talking about affrimative action have pissed in the pool for me on this issue. After seeing the readiness to scream, cry and whine every time they had to make some little concession in the culture wars, I am duly suspcious of this. Some professors may be asshats, but I think that many of these ancedotes may be a case of "yea, I did it at midnight after two beers, but I'm sure he just marked it down because I'm conservative.'. I think the readiness to call yourself a victim after you've just told real victims to shut up contributes to my lack of charatiabilty in this turn. I know, it's not fair to the kind gentle conservatives that actually have brains, but sometimes you have to wonder- why don't they say those other guys are nuts?Why don't they stand up, and say 'hey....chill out with the white supremacy?" I have no clue.

Once there was a writer. Unlike the writer of this little thing, she was a very hard working, non lazy writer- she was a semi-pro, had had several articles in small concerns, suchlike. Anyway, she actually sent out articles, and some were published, and she rejoiced. But some were rejected- there were various reasons for this- sometimes, the articles were not up to par, other times, the magazine did not have room for her article, there were times when the article just didn't fit within the style of the magazine, sometimes the editor's sister in law's article preempted this writer's article, sometimes, the editor was simply an illiterate Philistine or an article similar to this writer's article was already planned. However, this writer kept on writing.

But, there was a problem. Her friends were full of shit. Everytime she got rejected, they would go around talking about how she didn't try hard enough, or that she was simply a horrid writer, despite the fact that even if an article wasn't up to par, that did not make all her writing bad. Anyway, one day in a fit of pique,she said 'hey, help me edit if it's so bad' and then her friends ran away and were never seen again.

This is a little parable, and I'll leave most of it as an exercise for the reader- but this parable has to do with help, problems in life, and the importance of not being an asshat who is full of shit. Also, the thing about the editor's sister in law- I don't know if that really happens or not. It just sounded good. This article also influenced the writing of this parable.

Go to the comments section of this post to read the context of this rant.

I'm sorry, but maybe some people need to grow the fuck up. Yes, new Know Nothings, I'm talking about you. Yes, there is going to be bitching and moaning by losers who use immigrants as scapegoats for the fact they are lazy. However, do we have to give into those people? Do we have to say "Yea, the country must stay white" to appease them? It would probably be simpler to give them one way tickets to Siberia(I'm sure there's no pesky non whites there) than to try to block immigration.

It's pretty inevitable- either people get in here legally(and can't underbid employers) or they'll come in drifting on trucks, they'll come in over the border, they'll come in hidden on ships. So are we going to deal with it like mature and responsible people, or are we going to appease the folks who can't understand that yes, there are people who are different? Our country, even through the worst days of the know nothings, never fell apart. So are we going to let similarly ignorant people hold us back now? People whined, and still whine when blacks got their full civil rights. Did we let that stop us? No, we said STFU to them. So maybe we have to attempt to deal with problems, and just ignore the hicks. Hicks always need to bitch about some other ethnic group. If they start whining, just say there's a nice warm hole in Siberia that needs to be dug.

An add on to this rant- dudes, it's the CEOs who are fucking you over, not the Indians and the Chinese. So when things get nasty- remember- who benefits from you hating other races? It surely isn't you- you can say all the nasty things you want, and stuff will stay the same. It's the people in power- you are distracted from doing something to help your situation by scapegoating other races.

I certainly don't see why this loser even sued. It is perfectly legal for me to say 'fuck you' but try saying it to my boss, and guess what? I'm on the unemployment line! I'm sorry, but he should be glad that they were this nice about it. I mean, they gave him time to think about it, and only fired him after the second or so offense. I mean, he totally was disrupting the work environment. It's certainly not a professional environment to have hate speech on the walls. Sure, you may think as many awful things about groups of people, but at your job, leave it at home, and just do the best job you can. I mean, how is HP going to mark itself as a tolerant company that everyone can work with and do well with if they allow morons to plaster their property with hate speech? I mean, I'm not a Christian, but many Christians seem to be able to say 'Hey, maybe God doesn't like it, but I don't need to bring it up at work'. Not to mention, wouldn't whatever God was going to do be so much more kickass than anything you were going to do? So leave the judging to God, and get on with it.

I do have a beef with people complaining about multiculturalism. I mean, what's the point of teaching history if you're going to omit half of it? There are different ethnicities in the states, there always were, and some people should just accept it. Not to mention, the implicit message of monoculturalism is 'you're only important enough to talk about if you're white'. Yea, that's a real helpful message in this age of increasing immigration, not to mention, it's not actually true. Skin color is just how much melanin you have in your skin, and has nothing to do with your human worth. And people get plenty of white history too- most of the multiculturism people whine about is stuff like black history month. Oh no, kids have to write a report on George Washington Carver, oh stop the presses, they are sooooo oppressed. Oh, no, someone recited a Langston Hughes poem- we're being taken over by the coloureds! So get over it, or move someplace that's all white. We won't miss you.

Rumble Girls is out now! Wooo! My ass is officially rocked for the first time this year. Blacks, we need to do more adopting of children in foster care. Do we want kids to just be shifted from family to family then to age out of the system and be on their own? Kids are a challenge, yes, but it's not like kids aren't always a challenge. It's a disgrace that kids can barely find a home. More about that Texas cyanide plot. Learn to vote, or be an asshat. Also, be somebody- or be somebody's fool.

I read Rich Dad/Poor Dad because my mom thought I should read it. It's ok, but not really the way I prefer to learn. I don't especially care about the history of taxes or the comparative 'guts' levels of rich and poor people. I want to have steps, and why they are a good idea, and no mumbo jumbo about 'feelings'- like how much self esteem you need to have to do this, or whatever. Like if he had said 'so, you put your money in bonds, til it builds up, and then you buy a little investment rental property'(this is probably not sound financial advice) I'd be like woah! and my life would be totally changed.

However, this is one of my peculiarities. As I grow older, and older, I start to desire things I can do to meet my goal, instead of just feeling good about myself, as that's empty without achievement. For example, I like to write, so I'll write and edit, and write queries, instead of writing "I'm a good writer" a hundred times a day, and sometimes acting like I'm a real writer because I keep a blog. So remember- if you want to save the earth, plant a tree- don't write a hundred times a day- 'I"m a warrior for the earth".

I have finally gotten the three Card Captor Sakura DVDs out of my house(well, soon, I need to get to the post office) People talked like it was the holy grail of anime, but it was at best an average show. Then again, good production values don't really excite me. It's nice that it's got shiny animation- so where's the meat? When I was younger, I did not mind repetitive shows, but now, I'm like get on with the plot. I've always cared if I could care about the characters, but CCS left me flat. Oh, yea, Sakura's cute? and Tomoyo like likes her? At this moment I was supposed to be giggling with fangirl glee. Not.

I guess the problem is while I'm a shoujo fan, I'm not really a fangirl. To me, a fangirl mostly enjoys the series so they can make up bad fanfic about supposed romantic attachments between characters. But I don't think of making Li/Yukito slash fanfic as an exciting and productive use of my time. I know, there's the beauty of fandom, the wonders of the imagination,etc,etc. But sometimes I wish they'd make up their own stories. I mean, if you can write well enough for it to be ok to publish even on a webpage, you don't need to lean on someone else's characters, and if you aren't good enough, what's the point of showing everyone anyway?

But back to the erstwhile subject, I think what I like in a story is tension. I want to see conflict, difficult, internally rooted conflict too. For example, Tsuwabuki in Utena is just a little kid, and just has a small part(I've only seen the first 26 episodes) but he has conflict. He adores and admires Nanami, but he knows not only does she have a really awful side- bullying Anthy, and using her followers and considering them nothing more than extensions of her own will, she doesn't truly see him as a man worthy of him. Now that's what I like to see.

Merely shoehorning romance into a children's story isn't that interesting. I actually wish they'd stop doing that. It's pretty dull, and slights the complexity of children's feelings- as if they were just mini adults. I also dislike the depiction of children as mini adults- children are not little perfect angels that are only around for the purpose of being 'cute' nor are they as mature as adults, try to put some realism in your depiction. Thank you. googl

ASSHOLES! Guess why you get yelled at? Ok, here's a real situation. This guy saw me reading my Sociology of Law textbook and was like "Theorectical perspectives" and he was like "Oh, look! bullshit views!" and then a few days later, not only does he make me wait hours and hours for a printer I needed, because on Sunday, he suddenly decided to be elsewhere, when days in advance I had called to ask about it, and then he decided to be like "Oh, when you get out in the real world, you really start to learn about life' While I'm aware that many people can't hear themselves, that is just unwarranted, when he had been warned before about a snide comment on cookies. And then he wonders why he has to deal with my rage. I try to explain(although I have difficulty controlling myself- it's very intense rage) that I had been abused that way my whole life, and that was why I was sick of it. He tries to whine and make excuses, which makes me even angrier- he has decided to attack me, and then tries to pretend it's ok? I used to do that whole game, but what did it make me? depressed! Unfortunately, the depression has lifted, to be replaced with the rage, and it's intense. While I do feel sorry for slapping him, I am not sorry for yelling.

More link potpourri! Here is a site where you can give livestock to people in the third world. Animals can be an important source of income and protein to the people, and also, they are renewable. I am reminded of an article about fish farming in Haiti. In the article a guy said that a common mistake was to give top of the line equipment that the locals did not know how to fix, and that giving equipment that could be easily fixed was more effective. I guess that's a good idea, but I don't know how these things are implemented.

Here's a essay on intellectual fashions and taboos. I'd like to note that respect for your fellow man never goes out of style. Here's a map of Africa with countries labeled. Africa is a continent, not a country, thank you. Also, I only find this webpage amusing due to the fact that I am extraordinarily juvenile.

Anime Jump has an interesting article on How To Draw Manga- emphasizing that manga is not a monolithic style, and that there are better ways to learn to draw manga than slavishly buying every "how to draw manga' book that falls off the bandwagon. The funny part is that I have the second book that is an example of how not to create a how to draw manga book. I agree about the lack of drawing skill of the artist- it just seems to be a hackneyed attempt to jump on the bandwagon instead of a soulful attempt to illuminate others. (don't blame me- it was a gift)

I think that drawing comics can be great, and we do have a sort of doujinshi culture in the US- it's called web comics and of course, mini comics* . There are whole comics conventions devoted to the small press. Maybe it's not as big as Comike, but it's not like Americans haven't been drawing their own comics for years.

I really long to draw comics, but I can't draw. Back in the day, I used to draw a comic, but the website has disappeared in the mists of the web. Now all I have are the cruddy drawings. And believe me- they were shit. I often desire to draw, but the fact that I have no talent stops me. It's pretty depressing. Comics are a form of communication, and you can't really communicate if you can't draw. But I guess I should cheer up and do it anyway. They don't have to be shown to anyone.

*If you want to make mini comics, do read Pam Bliss' columns on Sequental Tart. They are splendidferous!

In yesterday's entry about Triple Play, I forgot to talk about the middle aged woman I saw pulling a CSI comic out of the back issues rack and saying "they have a comic book for CSI now?". I just thought that was interesting- seeing someone you wouldn't expect being exposed to comics culture.

I finished Rock My Soul. It was a pretty illuminating read, talking about the various problems that low self esteem supposedly causes for blacks. While I prefer more facts and figures, this book is primarily a book of ideas, not facts. I like hooks' contention that while racism is an important factor, it's not the only factor. I think an over focus on racism may take away from black's ability to fix problems. Not to say that racism doesn't really happen or that it's not really serious, but still, there's other work to be done. I disagree with the idea that just because black people socialize with blacks that those bonds are more affirming of their self esteem than those with whites. Many blacks also have all sorts of notions in their heads such as homophobia, self hate,etc , which can be as damaging to self esteem as a standoffish white companion. I'm not much for hooks' practice of quoting herself, but it's hard to write a lot of books(I have heard she has written 20 books) without repeating yourself.

Of course, there was not much in way of solutions- it mostly tries to show that self esteem goes deeper than we think- and that positive self esteem could go a long way towards fixing black America's problems. However, I'm curious about how you're supposed to talk to people who are compassionate witnesses and don't judge you for your feelings, and at the same time, you're not supposed to talk to people 'stuck in negativity' (i.e. people who have at least rudimentary contact with reality) Also, I would suggest that people do stuff that causes self esteem rather than just saying affirmations. Writing down all that crap isn't going to do anything if you don't do anything to be it. One act of kindness does more for my self esteem than writing "I am kind" a million times. So go out, volunteer, do something real. Of course if you're actually depressed, this probably won't help. Go to a therapist.

Speaking of that I like how hooks talks about the need for mental health services in the black community. So often we want to look like we're strong so much that we end up weakening ourselves by not having our issues taken care of. Sad,huh?

So today, I went to Triple Play. I knew that it had changed location, (it's now a few stores down from where it was) but I did not expect that it would be any different. Well, I was wrong. The new location is much bigger. There is a bigger gaming area, and while I don't do that, people who like that sort of thing might enjoy it. There is now a children's section of comics when you get into the door- this is great for new blood. All floppie comics are now in plastic holders that are sqaure and open at the top. There are also now random arcade games. The graphic novel selection remains anemic, but they had plenty of copies of Johnny the Homocidal Maniac, which has to count for something. I was rather tempted, but thought I better not. They didn't have the new issue of Comics Journal, which I actually was in the store for.

For those who it matters to, Triple Play is across from the Wolfchase Mall, in the same sort of section Best Buy is in. This means nothing to those who don't know local geography, but it's not like you're going to drive from California. I think Triple Play is a chain, if it helps.

It's time for link potpourri! It seems like many of the more intense wars in Africa are calming down! Good news, as the big wars seem to retard the growth of efforts to reduce disease and poverty. This guy talks about urban planning in a really interesting manner. A girl starts thinking for herself, after years of new age trash. In an interesting study of the vagaries of racial politics, a man who thought he was African American finds he has no african blood, and starts to wonder about his idenity. And a girl gives tips on how to stop self injury. Oh, and this magazine seems pretty good. Not to mention, more sweat shop free clothing! That's it for link potpourri.

It's time for more Sequential Tart! Although this month they are missing Dear Kady Mae, which is my favorite, they have a really good article with editing tips, and a review of Hana Yori Dango under Read This Or Die! While I generally don't like Sequential Tart's reviews, they tend to be too short, too 'here's the plot, now whether I liked it or not', it's good that many people can hear about this great story. Of course, there are the usual interviews with creators, which is ST's strong point. While I liked last month's 'cover' art better, it was by Colleen Coover, whose art I have a real thing for. I think that some day I'll get Small Favors just for the art.

In other news, is this a comic? It has images, they are juxtaposed in a sequnential manner, but is there a narrative? But then again, what is narrative? Do we just assume anything put together has a narrative? I have no answers to those questions as I am not feeling particularly like a comics intellectual tonight.

Today, I went to the mall. I got bell hooks' Rock My World, and Blue Monday: Absolute Beginners. I also saw a little black boy reading a comic book to himself. He was very young and was sounding out the words, so cute! I also saw a much older boy reading a super hero graphic novel, and another teen boy buying a Dragon Ball Z graphic novel. The malls seem to be producing the next generation of comics lovers and maybe even comics creators, all without the help of the direct market. That little boy might not have been in Triple Play(the closet comics shop) but he had certainly been in the mall and discovered a new medium. For comics to survive, it needs new blood. I think comics lovers should be applauding the bookstores for making this possible. The books may be from Japan, but the love of the medium is the same.

"Follow your dreams and the money will follow" "Think positive!" The problem with cute aphorisms is that they don't have to work. There's no reality test. Noone goes and studies people who follow their dreams versus people with an actual career path and sees who is the more successful. All people have are anecdotes, which can be mediated by twenty thousand different things- is your mom successful because she thought positive or because her dad owned half the town?

So people can just keep on believing, and that keeps things in place. If everything can be conquered with a little hard work and a positive attitude, why try to change things? Anyone who isn't super happy and successful is obviously there because they are bad people. So the people on top stay on top, and the rest of us stay miserable. It's pretty twisted, this simplistic view of the world. On the outside, it seems really pleasant and sweet- we can change everything with just our minds alone- we have all power. But somehow, it gets twisted- it becomes just a blame machine to beat yourself and others with.

If I think I have all power, how can I forgive myself for ever failing? For example, I am horrid at math. I work really hard at it, I get tutoring, but still I can't get anything above a C. So with that method of thinking, I'd be left with just cognitive dissonance- on one hand, I tried with all I had, on the other, I must not really be trying, because to try is to succeed, right? So I'd just get twisted up in my mind.

I know that most people who subscribe to this kind of thing don't think, but for anyone who even thinks on a casual basis, you'd end up tied up in knots. I can't even imagine what the more logic minded think. I mean people who actually use logic, not those who just use the trappings of it to sound cool, though.

I think I am so bothered by this because I am so optimistic. Sure, it's the optimsitic that says that we can solve problems in reality or that people can change their minds, but it's optimistic the same. However, it's more of the dark side- the side that realizes sometimes everything isn't all right, that some things can't be fixed so simply. But not all things dark are bad, and not all things light are good.

I feel pretty bad that I did not buy this comic when it was in print. I always wait for the trade in my defense, but now that this comic is out of print and isn't being reprinted, I feel a bit down. At least Abel has the good sense to put the issue up on the net instead of letting people get ripped off by dumbass comics stores that still have that old tired collector's mentality. I'm sorry, but charging overinflated prices for old books is what keeps them in the boxes and out of people's hands. People shouldn't wonder why their old stock moulders if they are still playing on the old 'rip off the fans' mentality.

I'm torn on this issue. On one hand, I know that teachers should protect students, even if they are blatantly asking for an ass whupping. On the other, I like to have the little douchebag slapped hard a few times, and maybe kicked in the nuts. This nativist bullshit gets old. We had it against the Germans, we had it against the Irish, we had it against the Chinese. I know he's still in high school, and not the brightest apple in the barrel, but dang, read a book instead of just spouting your daddy's racist views all the time.

In some real good news, here is a link to a apparel company that doesn't make stuff with slave labor, and uses American workers. W00t!

However, sometimes I feel that no matter my own failings, at least I'm smarter than the KKK. Of course, that's nothing to be proud of- that's like saying 'well, I pay my taxes!' or "well, I didn't beat my kids to death this year' not very high expectations all around.

I have decided to join Sequential Swap. They set it up so people can swap their gently used graphic novels. Sounds like a good way to get some of that stuff out of the house, while getting new stuff for little to no money. Of course, I worry that I do not have many desirable books, but that'll be alright.

An interesting thought occurred to me yesterday. I noted that I had taken a Japanese class for two semesters, read some books about Japan, watched some anime and read some manga, and engaged various Asians in conversation, yet I do not believe that I know much at all about Japan. Contrast this with someone who has watched a movie about some black people once, so thinks he/she knows all about the complicated history of black folks, and you might notice why I get so irked by morons. Basically, the take home message is- don't assume you know.

Also, here's an article about how the American Dream is really the American Myth. People seem to think that hard work makes you rich despite the people working two and three jobs and still not making it, despite the fact our job market went south and many people are still not on the ladder. I worry even a BA isn't enough nowadays.

I've decided to sell a bunch of my old stuff on eBay. First, I am auctioning off three Card Captor Sakura DVDs. Buy them together, and I might give a discount on shipping.

Also, I am selling two MTT!(Magic User's Club) Tv DVDs.

Chance Pop Session DVD number one is also going.

Also, an authentic Wedding Peach CD.

All of this stuff is starting bidding at two and three dollars, so this could be a cheap chance for you to cute up your anime collection or to buy something for the anime fan you forgot this Xmas.

I have continuing performance anxiety about actually writing(blog entries don't count), so I will talk about magazines. I'd like to encourage magazine readers that if a magazine gets too ad full, too fluffy and too plain ignorant to cancel their subscirption and to subscribribe to a better magazine. Vote with your wallet to promote intellegent reading matter.

Also, here's a link for teachers about prejudice. So many people are asshats in regards to this topic. Maybe some of the people reading right now have heard of a guy saying 'all girls are golddiggers' because one girl was a skank or 'all blacks are lazy' due to watching a Tv show with biased imagery. I think that 5 or 10 people can not represent millions or billions of people. Especially not just five people you just said hi or bye to.

And now for some authentic good news! Black Commentator talks about people trying to bring healthy food to the ghetto. So get out there and revitalize a community! If everyone went and did a little extra, things would improve, I think. It doesn't have to be anything big- donate community garden food to the poor, go in and clean up a vacant lot, maybe volunteer in a soup kicthen. With the time people spend listening to AM radio or Fox news they could have cleaned up the country I think.

Man, look at the photos of this store! It's like my dream comic store- too bad it's all the way in California. I prefer clean, well stocked comics shops to dirty fanboyish ones.

Speaking of entrepenuership, here are the stores of two ladies who have decided to go into the health and beauty buisness. I am rather tempted by the low poo bar, myself., and I would like a black nerds unite shirt. wonder if the majority of women who become web entrepenuers go into the health and beauty or clothing buisnesses. It would be interesting to see a break down on that.

I think I have linked to American Elf a million times. I just can't resist. It's a comic that makes you feel good, but not in a sappy way. There are cute moments and a cute art style, but not the over flowing river of glurge you often get from some comics. It's the kind of down to earth, but still positive thing that I just can't get enough of. Usually when you're looking for something that doesn't make you hate the whole human race, you get a bunch of unrealistic bullshit. Like this Christmas special my mom was watching. It was all about the magic of belief- and I'm thinking what has belief ever done for us? It hasn't fed any babies, it hasn't cured any one of anything, all it does is keep us sitting in the same damn place while the powerful folks fuck us over.

But little moments with family, now that I believe in. Not some sentimentalized idea of family, I mean your actual family- you know, the one's that screwed up and really annoying? The ones who drop in and draw all over your walls and eat all your food? Yea, that's what I believe in. Not some pansy ass idea that just believing in random shit, no matter the reality is going to get you anywhere.

An article about the mysogynistic comic artist Dave Sim. What I took away from the article is that while art is great and all, don't get too wound up in it or you'll go nuts. Of course, taking a shitload of LSD doesn't help your mental state either. So chill out, have some wine, raise a kid or two. It'll be cool.

I have finished The Way We Never Were, so I will attempt to review it. A bit about the book's politics first- while Coontz tries to portray herself as a moderate, often offering run downs of liberal and conservative takes on certain family issues, she takes a more liberal approach, seeing economic and social factors as things that cause certain family formations instead of moralizing or saying that the devil caused women to become single parents to defy god or something.

Basically, it was a pretty well written and informative book. Coontz succeeds pretty well in cutting through the hysteria with facts. The only area which I thought was a bit sensationalized was the one about the black family, but it's really hard for a white(?) author to accurately talk about it, and she did a pretty good job of not saying "well, those lazy blacks are inherently different and evil, that's why they have those alien family styles', but about talking about how history and economics intersect to cause problems. I really liked the approach she uses- talking about the historical background and the economic trends that cause certain family styles to be more adaptive is a lot more useful to my understanding than just screaming about how the family is falling apart.

All in all, I recommend this if you want to actually learn about the family rather than hearing self serving moralizing. Historical amnesia doesn't serve us well if we want to solve our problems.

This review of Love and Rockets is great. Read the rest of the magazine too! I really like discovering new magazines that I haven't seen before- digging through the obscure ones, looking for one with real content. I wish I could subscribe to them all. I want to support people making words that can help us understand things, to give us a different perspective, and not have them buried under a million dull glossy magazines where even the articles are ads.

About Kwanzaa being 'made up'- all holidays are made up. Humans are the ones who say that this day or that day is significant. We are the ones that decided that Feburary 14th would be a holiday for lovers . We decided that we'd honor our mothers in May. In many other countries, children aren't dressed up every October 31st and sent around the neighborhood for candy. We create holidays by agreeing that the day is significant, and in what way to celebrate its significance. Nothing makes us celebrate a day for an idea or an event besides tradition, and you have to start a tradition for there to be one.

I know that much of the BS is just veiled racism- I mean, noone bicthes about Saint Patrick's Day- and someone had to decide on the date, and the manner of celebration. Humans created this celebration too. Of course, I think thinking about positive values is a bit better than drinking til you puke(I'm sure St. Patrick's Day originally had positive values, but nowadays mostly people just drink) , but that's just me.

There has been a lot of arguing on Nappturality.com about whether relaxer or texturizer use is allowed to be talked about on the site. I'm a bit torn. On one hand, I'd like more people to learn that relaxers aren't good for you, that texurizers blow out kits and silkeners are just relaxers, and that the hair that grows out of their heads is perfectly acceptable. I mean, it must not be very good for your self esteem to think you need to 'fix' your hair.

On the other, folks just want to enjoy the site and talk about their nappy hair, not hear the ignorant comments of those who don't have clue one. There is a transitioners board for those who are growing their hair out before they cut it(perms are permanent- you can not reverse the straightening effect- that's why the hair must be cut) but some people bypass it.

The politics of hair are interesting to me. It seems strange to me that whole large amounts of people grow up thinking their hair is 'bad'. I remember I used to hate my hair, because it 'had' to be straightened unlike white people's hair. But now I like my hair. I merely disliked all the fuss with trying to change what it was. Being unable to scratch your head for a week and having scabs in your head, and having your hair always fall out would make a patient person grumpy.

Oh, and remember that Stanford is trying to research protein folding. Also, they want your computer processing power or something. It might not do anything or it might help someone discover a cure for Mad Cow disease. It's your computer processor, you decide.

You know, the bad part is that the world distinctly doesn't care if you're a good person or work hard or think happy thoughts. The even worse part is that people think it does. Some anti Christmas cheer to think on.

What I got for Xmas- I got Hana Yori Dango Volume 3, in which the soap opera madness gets even better. This manga takes the brutality of high school to its logical conclusion. I also got The Way We Never Were, a book that challenges the idea that all through American history the American family has been a man, a woman, their 2.5 kids and a dog who never depended on anyone outside the family(and especially not that evil gov't) for anything, and Forgotten Readers, a study of black literary societies before the Civil War. I also got earrings, a pen that is fancy, and a journal with a cloying picture of an angel. There was also a random pink and white makeup case given for no reason, and also, some money was given that I will invest into savings so I will have a stake. My plan is to save money so that I can either get a high ticket item like a car or save up for emergencies.

Hey ranchers, thanks for fucking us all over just to save a buck. Fuck you very much.

I'd like to note that Slam Dunk is awesome and that everyone should go out and buy a million copies.

I wonder what to do with my crappy paintings. I like to paint, but due to my lack of actual talent, I can't paint anything recognizable/anything that isn't recognizable but just looks cool. However, I worry that it'd be a waste of materials just to toss them. Then again, if my mother finds them in the house(although now mostly I am in another city) my mom will hang them up, thinking that this is 'art'. I actually managed to persuade her to take down this horrible sun from the den- it looks just like a child's sun minus the smiley face, and contrary to the rules of good composition is smack dab in the middle of the canvas. She stuck it up in my room.

Go on gal! This woman has decided to promote her rosemary growth spritz over the internet. Web entrepreneurs are awesome, so I have linked to her site. Reminds me of this guy I know- went from selling his comic collection in the flea market to having his own shop. Sure, I don't like his shop, but hey, it's not like I know.

On a more cheerful note- the using a metal tin lid for a palette idea actually worked really well. I feel like talking about something I notice, but I don't know what it is called. I see it in my brother and his girlfriend talking about their friend who is returning from Guatemala to open up a free trade store. I see it in people hustling- selling caps and scarves on the internet, selling collards and watermelons off the back of trucks. I see it in girls boldly carving cucumbers in science fiction club, and artists attempting to project porn out of car windows.

I see it in psychics that come to dinner, and complain about their crazy covens, and cartoonists selling subscriptions to their comics online. I see it in people collaborating to make true porn comics over the internet, and women serving vegan soul food, and the women outside selling earrings.

It's like painters in Paris painting outside where the tourists can see them. It's like musicians playing gritty clubs every weekend. I'm sure it is like the grandma who creates a day care in her very home. I don't know what it is, but it makes me feel a whole lot better about life.

Now that I'm back at home, I get to see more local news. Such as the fact that my old high school was firebombed. Of course, they probably won't get much punishment for this. Sure, they were hopped up on cocaine, and could have seriously hurt someone with their asshattery, but the police have more important things to do like hassling minorities. It just seems that if you're rich(and being white gives you bonus points) committing a crime just isn't as likely to mess up your life. George W. Bush snorted some cocaine now and then and he's President. Even Al Gore's kid will get away with a ticket for his weed, not jail, and this certainly isn't the first time he's messed up.

People would find all sorts of pathologies if it was a black kid- oh, the black family is breaking down, oh if only the black community would pull itself up by the bootstraps- despite the fact that these kids were not getting any parenting at home obviously. In high school, if I had even thought of smoking tobacco let alone cocaine, my ass would have been grass. Yet these kids did cocaine and didn't have any thing productive to do besides make up plans to get revenge on the school. And their mom had the audacity to be like it was a mistake. Dude, a mistake is when I misspell a word, or when I paint blue when I wanted to paint orange. I simply can not conceive of a way that you can possibly mistakenly firebomb a school.

My message with this posting is that asshats come from all classes, all colors, all religions. Some are not worse than others. Whether it's the asshat black kid who smokes weed, the asshat Chinese kid who shoots folks, or the asshat white kid who firebombs the school, they are all asshats, and do not reflect on the larger character of normal people. Also, that you should freaking parent your kids. It's ridiculous that it can get to the point that they are taking hard drugs and firebombing schools without your knowledge. I know it takes effort, but if you don't want to do the work, tie your tubes, so the rest of us don't have to pay higher taxes.

Some people say Kurds captured Saddam first? Could be.

But onto more pressing matters- the church's Christmas program sucked. Instead of more logically having the program where it was free to get in, we got tons of food, there was action at all times, and there was plenty of dancing for all, we had a program in which we had to pay ten bucks, we got nutritionally correct servings of food, there was an hour lull, and the only entertainment we had at times was some little babies who really needed a spanking.

I had stupidly thought the program would be from 3 to 5, but no, we sat there til 7, and most of the program had to be cut, due to the fact that we spent hours sitting there, when they could have been performing. It wouldn't be so bad if it was free- I mean, doesn't charging ten dollars freeze out the poorer members of the church?

They could have at least used the money to donate to the community instead of having 17 Christmas trees. I'm glad I'm not religious, or I'd be really mad.

It's good to see gym class trying to be something other than a social pecking order orderer. Teaching kids competitive sports tends to mostly show them the negative values- winning is everything, only one person gets anything, and it's not you. Teaching kids exercises they can do and enjoy shows more positive values- multi tasking- exercising and having fun, that exercise is something they can do, which promotes good health, everyone can have fun.


An interesting article about race. Read it. I especially like how it contrasts what whites think about race( those lazy blacks woke up one day and decided to be offended) and what blacks think(these racist whites woke up one day and are still racist) but I must warn you it does rather take the blacks' side.

Wallpaper of the WeekIt's time for the wallpaper of the week- courtesy of Wilde Home for Wayward Catgirls.

On Civility

Also, I think civility actually benefits our civilization. For example, it is profoundly less likely that I would be called the n word on the streets than it was in the past, and nothing bad has happened at all. In fact, I see no evidence at all that petty insults, rudeness,etc, makes for a better society. So why do we think having our children abused in the schools by future criminals is a good idea? Schools should prepare you for life, and part of life is learning to not be a giant asshole. This may be shocking to some, but the qualities required to not be a giant asshole are some you might recognize- self control, empathy, consideration for others, responsibilty for your own actions, inner strength, recognizing differences without treating people differently, controlling your temper, learning not to be jealous, getting what you want without hurting others.

However, it takes nothing to be a giant asshole.


Warm Hats

These hats look warm. Remember to support small buisness. They are the people scrambling up the ladder to make the day brighter. Mixed metaphor fun!

I have to admit that once you get used to a certain hair routine, it's hard to break it. I am used to being able to put some good goopy conditioner on, and comb through with my wide tooth comb, and then be able to twist up with my lock and twist gel. What I miss most is my wide tooth comb- it's really hard to put your hair into a protective style without parting and combing it through, and I really want to try flat twists or something like that since it's winter. All these spiky combs with their teeth too much together aren't getting it. My hair is knotted up already. I wanna trim!

This says everything I wanted to say about books versus movies much better than I could ever say it.

The Christian Science Monitor cheerfully reports on rising scores in urban schools. My opinion is that you need to challenge the students. Don't just let them do boring word finds all day - prepare them for a higher level. Of course, I think parents should do their part too. Educate your child- watch educational films with them instead of whatever is the latest thing that is being hyped to the skies, read them books, have children's educational magazines in the house, get books with math games in them. Your kid will thank you later. Even if your school is teaching to the test, if you supplment your kid's education, they'll be informed.

I would exhort parents to teach their kids about their own culture and the cultures of other people as well. History instruction doesn't tend to be too hot in the public schools from what I remember. If you're a black parent, your kid could go around knowing nothing about the history of blacks in America besides Martin Luther King and slavery.

Also, a personal thought- I really liked those American Girl books when I was a kid. I highly recccomend them for parents of little girls. They had very lively stories about girls in historical times, and a back section with lots of pictures and history about the time period. Of course, they hock a lot of other merchandise. I have an Addy doll from when I was into those books. It's a really well made doll too.

I feel like writing because it seems like a vocation, and a man needs a vocation. Maybe males need it more than females, what with gender roles and all, but each person probably needs to find a vocation or they'll be lost, I believe.

Black Commentator remarks on Dean's uplifting speech. An excerpt:

'In America, there is nothing black or white about having to live from one paycheck to the next.

Hunger does not care what color we are.

In America, a conversation between parents about taking on more debt might be in English or it might be in Spanish, worrying about making ends meet knows no racial identity.

Black children and white children all get the flu and need the doctor. In both the inner city and in small rural towns, our schools need good teachers.

When I was in medical school in the Bronx, one of my first ER patients was a 13-year-old African American girl who had an unwanted pregnancy. When I moved to Vermont to practice medicine, one of my first ER patients was a 13-year-old white girl who had an unwanted pregnancy.

They were bound by their common human experience.' - Howard Dean

Do you want the right to say something about blacks? I have been advocating the read a book or shut the heck up plan on several of my posts. Well, here's a more detailed explanation of this read a book or shut the heck up plan. And don't worry about being too busy- if you read just a page a day, you're ahead of the game.

First, the novice should start with fiction. Due to watching TV too darn much, and not using their critical thinking skills, many people have gotten the idea that blacks are a monolithic mass of semi literate gangsters. This is not true. To become accustomed to the idea that blacks are people too, a glimpse into the black psyche is needed, Start with the masters such as Ellison, Baldwin, Hurston, Morrison, and Wright. Literary fiction tends to be best, although while much 'urban fiction' is trash, and I wouldn't read it to be informed about the human experience, it's still better than the stereotypes on TV.

Second, history. To segue into this, some works that blend personal stories with history may be helpful. Roots and Black Boy are recommended. Roots shows that slavery wasn't all blacks and whites dancing on the plantation, whistling Dixie, for example. Black Boy is a seminal work, focusing on its author's hungry boyhood in the South, his disillusionment in the North, and even his brief Communist leanings. History helps you understand such questions as 'why is there segregation today?" 'why can't blacks just pull themselves up by the bootstraps?",etc. My poor recommendations would include Forgotten Readers, which talks about literary societies in the North before the Civil War, A People's History of the US(while not all about blacks, it includes some good material) and the Autobiography of Malcolm X, which talks about one man's involvement in radical movements.

The third is sociology. This informs you about on going problems. I still need more on this myself, but read some bell hooks, or maybe Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together... One book I found interesting, although technically not about blacks, is How the Irish Became White- this was interesting to me, because race is a bit arbitrary (for example, what race do you think this man is? Can you tell right off?) and learning about how it becomes defined is interesting. Also, since AP History, I had wondered how society went from disliking the Irish and considering them only slightly above blacks to liking them. This, of course, is only the beginning. There are many different paths you can take and many different interests you can peruse. Hopefully, through trying to learn about race, other things will start to interest you as well. One can become quite intellectual on a library card- let us all remember the example of Richard Wright, who became educated on a library card he sweet talked his co worker out of.

Also, this is not part of the original post, but is related- white america- this chick is being paid to lie to you. She is being paid to stir up race hate. Note that instead of blaming this guy for his own actions, she blames 'diversity' - hoping to lull you into thinking "I bet if diversity went away, reporters would be honest and all would be right again" Don't believe it! She's just using the scapegoat of Cajun -Native Americans to sell her shitrag of a newspaper. Being a woman, she's benefiting from 'diversity' too, but that doesn't sell as many newspapers.

On Tuesday night, I went to a midnight viewing of Return of the King. I'd like to warn you that I may spoil the movie for those who haven't read the book/seen the movie hereafter. I thought it was amazing- the special effects were spot on, but didn't override the drama of the film. For example, the ghost tribe(I've forgotten their real name) is shown in glorious special effects, but the movie does not become an effects movie- it retains its plot. I liked how near the end, Frodo and Sam remembered the Shire- because there was no scouring of the Shire in this film, it became even more important to remember what they almost lost. The movie had all the right things- despite a few too many flashbacks(do we really need a flashback of something we were shown 15 minutes ago?) and what I call 'trailer lines'- stuff like Aragon saying 'What does your heart tell you?" to Gandalf or Eowyn saying "I'm no man!". I don't know whether either of those lines ended up in the trailer, but those sort of hammy lines annoy me.


Also, a final reminder- please shut up in the theater! Two of my companions(while great people, with good foresight- buying the tickets early and getting to the theater two hours before was a good idea- we were in the front of the line, which was really long) talked a lot and it was pretty annoying- not every quip is funny, and not every semi exciting scene needs to be clapped at or shouted about. Then again, that just may be my movie preferences- I just like quiet, I guess, especially if I have never seen a film before.

Hip hop- the new minstrel show. I especially agree with the author about how Caucasians will be listening to more rap, and then be scared of black folk. I don't listen/watch this crap since I don't want people to see these negative images. Like it or not, most people are too ignorant and lazy to pick up a book, in which blacks are represented well. For every 'OMG! We have relationship problems' book, there is at least one book that shows a good picture, and even the OMG, relationship problems books don't deal as much in stereotypes because books make it easier to represent people as humans instead of as types. That's why I say people shouldn't get their information from TV and movies- it's really hard to deal with complexity in those mediums, it seems. Comics can deal with complexity, such as Lance Took's Narcissa, and also give a visual punch.

Although, something strange happened. I got a holiday e-card from Lance Tooks and I do not even know him. Strange.

While half doing my work(still figuring out bond angles) , I saw this great news- Tokyopop in Walmart. Some comics fans see a divide between manga and comics, but I see them as two ways of doing the same thing. So when I see this, I say "Awesome, more comics in the mainstream'. It may appear to be a fad for some, and maybe it is to some extent, but if even just a few people keep into comics, comics will have a whole new base of customers.

I used to be exclusively a manga fan before getting turned on to comics. The first American comic(besides Betty and Veronica) I picked up was Stuck Rubber Baby* and then I was hooked. I don't have much cash, but I love getting into the more indy of American comics.

Also, I think manga is good for American comics because it inspires people to start making comics. Sure, they may use the big eyed style, but they are still new comics creators, and some are quite talented. Comics can't go on with the same little fanbase of 30ish men- they are going to die off. So young blood is needed, and if it's achieved by giving people what they want, so be it.


*which is a beautiful work about a gay young man, and his apathetic involvement in civil rights- I like how he is like it'd be great if blacks got their civil rights, but isn't on fire over it. It's more realistic seeming than the heroic white liberal swooping in and saving all those poor blacks. I also like how the racist whites are drawn. They aren't all wearing KKK hoods, some just think 'oh, maybe those communists are making them feel discontent' or 'maybe the negro isn't as smart as us white folks, but we should still treat them as human beings' (not actual quotes) I like that because it allows the reader to understand that racism isn't just going around yelling 'damn n words' it also involves other attitudes.

I feel like studying for my chemistry final is futile. I'm not going to be able to learn any of this, especially not enough to use it on the test. Most of this stuff I can only do the problems in the book- for those who don't know, the problem sets are very different- in the book, they give you information you need to solve, on the test, they do not give you any of the stuff you need , or expect magical intuition out of nowhere- which of course, can not be taught. But I know I must study to feel better, but then again, it just seems like a waste of time- no amount of practice is going to make me able to do the problems. Math geniuses, shut up. I know you are able to get all the problems right by just looking at the book, so how is that supposed to help me? The problem is that you can't teach math without being good at it, and if you're good at it, you have a certain sort of brain, so you can't reach the rest of us. Of course, this works better if you're not a giant jerk, and avoid ridiculing people.

Also, a man giving a beautiful tribute to his fallen brother.

A page that is actually anti bullying. I am so shocked I am linking. But I have to make myself suffer by 'studying' (feeling like shit) for my chemistry final that I am sure to fail. Anyway, I haven't done enough suffering to feel good about it either. At least two weeks of painful studying need to be undertaken for me to feel good about failing a test.

And while not suffering, I also like to read Invisible Adjunct. You know it's bad when you've had so much sunshine pumped up your ass that you're like YEA! GLOOM AND FUCKING DOOM FOR ONCE~!!

Natural hair can grow long. Look at the last picture on the left. Yea, the text is a bunch of BS about how 'great' it is that these people paid them to 'fix' their hair(what most folks need to fix is their wallet, and it's not getting fixed paying $50-75 every six weeks), but I thought it was good to see a black girl with long natural hair, as many say that blacks can't grow long hair.

And here's a fun site dedicated to one woman's hair journey. I may try banding my hair - I've always wanted a cute little afro puff. Also, this site has tons of infomation- check out the myths and FAQs if curious.

Yesterday, I went to the perfect sort of party for me. First, it was a small group of people I mostly knew. I'm scared of strangers, slightly. If we're introduced, it's ok, but I get mixed up trying to think of things to say. Also, I don't feel comfortable around large groups of people- I find them much harder to approach and start talking. Second, it was not the type where people just sit around in a room- I like parties with party games(although in this instance we played Super Smash Brothers and Mario Party instead of say...Parcheesi) . I feel much more comfortable with speaking in the context of something done together instead of just popping out randomly with something. If I have to approach people, I find it much harder to talk. Also, the noise level wasn't too high. I feel like I can't talk above loud music.

Another thing that confuses me. When people say that people liking you doesn't matter. What world do they live in? Certainly not the world where you have to be super networked to even have hope of getting a job, certainly not in a world where they think populairiy contests wins on your resume mean anything. The next time you feel this sort of contradictory bull come out of your mouth, think about it. How can I hold two opposing ideas in my head at the same time? I don't know how people do it, but it's mighty strange.

I am still too tired to do my work, so I'll write something that's been on my mind. I think being racist distracts folks from their real problems. For example, for all their huffing and blowing about blacks, most of the whites doing the blowing don't live anywhere near a black neighborhood, have barely any blacks on their job, and have very few blacks at their college(for all their huffing and blowing about blacks getting in and blacks getting scholarships, they could have studied for the SAT and increased their score or actually done their work, and raised their GPA)

This interests me because it's just amazing to me that people would spend their time spouting off lies without doing any critical thinking whatsoever. To me, the truth is readily apparent- that blacks are like people all over- we have good folk who work hard, and we have bad folks who suck, and we have people who are in the middle, and people who lean both ways, and people who are sometimes one way and then the other. I guess having a scapegoat makes people feel better, but doesn't it make your real problems worse? While you're complaining about how blacks are this and that, rich people are outsourcing your job, they are laying folks off for more profit. If the people aligned with those rich folks could get no more money or votes off of your race hatred, the rich people wouldn't be stopped, but they'd be pretty well slowed down.

This amazes me- I know there's no big conspiracy to make people believe lies, just a bunch of groups working in their own self interest, but how some people consistently choose race hatred over their own well being is amazing to me. It's like the poor whites before the Civil War- they could have gotten higher wages without all that cheap slave labor, but they didn't do anything about it. Some people will say, this is not the past, but when you guys are ready to come into the future, I'll stop talking like it is. Because that sort of thinking is past thinking- thinking you are entitled to all the power, all the money, all the spots.

People may be like 'well, race doesn't matter',etc,etc. But they say that because they don't believe they are affected. Just because race doesn't make any sense biologically(I mean, it seems you can be up to 80% white, and still be thought black - that old one drop for people mixed a bit less recently ) doesn't mean our society isn't controlled by it. I think even whites are negatively affected because all the time and money spent hating and spreading lies about blacks could be used in improving the situations of whites.

Here is also a link by a Canadian talking about race in Canada. I have heard that in Canada that even old white ladies don't shy away from black men, despite them the descendants of Africans just the same as American blacks. However, I do not know if this is true. But then again, I heard it's not true. (read this link, it says a lot of things better than I can)

I don't want to do my work, so I will blog. I encourage everyone reading this blog to undertake a public mental health project. Say nice things to others. Bite your tongue if you have useless judgments to make. (like don't go around talking about stuff people can't help, like a lisp or a limp)Try to listen to others and have some empathy. Don't spread gossip or rumors. Don't cause a problem and then yell at someone for having it. Think of it like environmental volunteering. You don't throw trash on the street or burn your car in the yard, do you? Then don't mess up our mental environment by being a judgmental prick. I admit that I have strong opinions, and entirely do not have any patience for racism, I mean read a book, damnit, but I don't go around putting down chubby folk or spreading rumors like many people do.

A homeless girl talks about how it feels like to be called homeless trash. I think it is a good idea to get stories from the people themselves instead of feeling smug in our heated homes after tucking away a big meal, and talking about what other people should be doing. Whenever I feel the impulse to judge a poor person, I remember my difficulties in chemistry- hard work does not necessarily mean reward. Not to mention, it's not like there is some magic that prevents me from getting a brain injury, tomorrow, even. Instead of talking big about how we would never be homeless, maybe we should attempt some compassion. Something is breaking down in our society, and we can't fix it unless we stop blaming and start working. And no, giving a can when you are guilted out of it by the Boy Scouts does not entitle you to pass judgment on others cruelly.

James Kochalka Ruins Xmas. Warning: a hint of breast feeding. Of course, this link will not be relevent in a day, because I don't know how to link to the individual comics, and I can't access the archives due to my lazy non paying behind.

This link talks about bullying. An interesting tidbit is that bullies are more likely to be involved in rapes and assaults later in life. To me, that's a no brainer, because if you are taught that you're allowed to hurt people with no repercussions, and this is reinforced by experience, how are you going to get the message that hurting people is wrong? I would prefer that schools and parents were more aggressive about this, but it takes less work to demonize the kids being bullied and to make excuses for bullies, so I'm not holding my breath.

Here's a stanza of poetry to reflect on-

Before our mettle is tested
We easily consider ourselves strong
Before we see our children want
Not elaborate things
But a christmas bike or easter shoes
It's easy to say what should have been done

Nikki Giovanni, 'Gus (for my father)' The entire poem is in the collection Cotton Candy for a Rainy Day.

This is slightly related. Tim Wise turns the rape of the corpse of MLK back on some folks. I dislike people twisting the words of a great man to fit their own racist agenda. The same people misquoting King forget some of his important words. A paraphrase- we should learn to live together or perish together as fools. Wouldn't that condemn people who are bent on not sharing society with everyone else?

The article "On the relevance of Education for Black Liberation" has awakened some new thoughts in my mind. For those interested it is in the Summer 1978 (Vol 47, No. 3) issue of The Journal of Negro Education(why the journal had not or even, I believe has not changed its name is a mystery to me) on pages 266- 282, and authored by Joyce Williams and Ronald Ladd. It critiques the idea that formal education will cause equality by talking about the pay gap for blacks and whites who lived in the ghetto and got the same amount of education.(hopefully this has been rectified by now)and posits that black self education has been more helpful since it does not mean that blacks need to assimilate to white culture, and doesn't have the culture based judgments that formal education seems to. (if you don't have a big vocabulary, well, just use the dictionary, is a bit less limiting in life than you don't have a big vocabulary, you're shit for brains. )

I think that people of all cultures should self educate. Even us college educated people should always be trying to read and learn. We can't take in all we can or should know in a life time just by sitting in a classroom, although classrooms are helpful. We should take the initiative ourselves to be where we are supposed to be in the realms of knowledge. If we don't educate ourselves, anyone can lie to us, and try to say that's the truth. If we have the knowledge, we are not so easily swayed by every jackleg politician. So read early, read often,and read critically.

Here's an interesting site about Wicca, from the point of view of someone who seems to be annoyed with people who believe they are Wiccans for fashion. I don't know much about it, but while pretending that chanting words will make stop lights last for a shorter period of time might be fun (I read this 'spell' in a book by some chick named something ludricous like Silver WolfRavenMoon when I was 14 at a birthday party, so don't take this as a real comment about anyone's actual beliefs. ), you should try to figure out what you believe and not just be making a fashion statement or going along just because your parents believed that.

Also, here's an uplifting (NYTimes, registration required. Just put in fake info) story about a bunch of people really excited about Howard Dean. This is what I call authentic good news. A lot of upbeat stories seem forced to me. They tend to gloss over real problems with some cute psych pop optimism. But I like a good story of people getting excited about things, putting some energy into life,etc.

This is a pretty good essay about whining about the pussification of the American male. It also reminds me of something that has been bothering me for a bit. The co optation of the 'victim' stance by certain people, while acting like people with real problems can't say anything about them.

For example, there's the guy who is always whining about how he A)can't get into college B) can't get a job C) can't get scholarships because of those darn minorities, but if a black talks about a real problem, they are the anti Christ. I'm sorry, but I got waitlisted to Brown, and did I say "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they hate me because I'm black"? No, I sucked it up and went to another school. I am not getting fat scholarships but I'm not being like Oh, they hate me, they are so racist. I'm like I gotta get my GPA up. I mean, if gays are supposed to have 'personal responsibility' over the fact that they want to have sex with members of the same sex, why can't these people take responsibility for their own personal failings?

Wallpaper for the week, and FYI, internet accelerators are spyware.

Common Racist Ploys:

1)My best friend is this and that, or I'm not racist but....

If something racist comes out of your mouth, you're racist. If you don't want the consequences of being a racist ass fool, shut the fuck up.

2)Well, it's all the black's fault...

How is it the black man's fault that you can't think? I remember reading in Forgotten Readers about how hard people worked to make people respect the negro, and I remember many good blacks today that work just as hard. The racists don't care. We could be a superhuman race of saints and they'd still spew that shit.

3)But I didn't own any slaves!

But you sure did reap the benefits. Also, if every person just stood up, and say "I'm not believing any more lies about anyone else. I am reading and learning about a people before making any more claims about them" How many racists do you think there would be left? By not standing up against racists, not learning anything about blacks, and then parroting lies from others, you become complicit.

4)It's soooooo haaaaard to [learn anything, to read a book, to keep my mouth shut if I don't know jack]

It's not anymore harder than learning to wipe your own damn behind. Stop making excuses. I know guys who haven't been to college, and work regular jobs who aren't racist. If they can find time out of their busy schedules to not be an asshat, so can you.


5)[Any arguments from historical amnesia]

Read a book. I know shit about C++ programming, so I don't talk about it. Simarily, if you don't know shit about people don't talk about them. You lose your right because you're a dumbass. I don't go around making vast generalizations about fucking Pakistanis, because some Pakistani dudes pour acid on their women. I don't go up to Pakistanis saying 'You people hate women' or blaming any attacks against Pakistanis on that, do I? You know why I don't do this? Because I realize that the actions of crazy fools can't stand in for millions of people. Unless you realize that, shut the fuck up.

6)I'm soooooo discriminated against, like I had to apologize for saying the n word!

This echoes the popular whining of Recontruction, during which the KKK was formed. WAAAA! The slaves are free! I'm soooooo oppressed! Shut the fuck up and learn what it is to be oppressed, or shut your mouth. I like how people like to pretend to be victims and then yell at folks with real problems. F.Y.I. Having a black within 200 miles of you is not a real problem, and get off your ass and do your schoolwork instead of bitching about blacks, and you wouldn't have any problem with scholarships.


7)Any broad generalizations based on one or two blacks

Now all whites or [insert your group here] are sheep fuckers, because I know some nasty ass farmer is probably doing something. To simulate how this might be annoying, look at these guys. What if everyone thought you engaged in similar behavior because you happened to share similar coloring (you and millions of other people)? That's why you are being an asshat when you do this one.


The basic message of this list for illiterates is if you don't know anything about something, shut the fuck up.

I discovered a bundle of the entire Fancy Lala series. This is a really sweet series about a little girl who discovers a magical pen that allows her to change into an adult. She gets discovered and is on the path to fame. My favorite features of the show are its general down to earth flavour. Instead of having this totally unrealistic little girl who is perfect in every way becoming instantly famous and getting a cute boyfriend, she's just an average kid who likes to draw and is a bit flaky, she has to work hard to become famous, and family relationships are emphasiszed over romantic.

Also, Utena is cheap now.

Linking to old news about Bush's AWOL so I will not be remiss in linking to this. Yea, that made no sense, but Rumsfield makes about as much. Here is a link to a photo that is not safe for work or people younger than whatever the legal age is to look at a naked woman's bottom. This was linked on The Comics Journal board as an example of David Boring's favorite type of woman. I would like to read that comic again- I can't remember much of it but the plot points, the art, and how somehow it seemed really complicated.

I talk about race on this blog a lot because I feel not educating or not trying to at least get a tidbit of information out is being complicit with racism. If you just let something go on, you become guilty yourself, and I'm not going out like that.

This guy kicks ass for lighting a candle instead of blowing one out and complaining when others cursed the darkness. I applaud that he decided to listen to someone else instead of making excuses or being lazy. I'd also like to note that when you say "life's not fair" you're making it unfair. If you want life to be better, you don't give it up, you don't try to actively make it worse. You try to make it better. Talking about life's not fair when someone's in a bad situation is lazy as hell. Why don't you get off your high horse and get out and help?

Some infomation about Esctasy- drug trials may have been faked. Also, some more stuff by that guy

See the November 23rd post about the Borders strike on this page for context to this ramble. Anyway, I think they should keep on the people who actually know about books. It may be a few dollars cheaper to hire someone who doesnt' read, but the customer isn't going to buy a book he/she can't find because the idiot in your store can't even find the Madeline L'Engle books. I don't see how a store can even expect any customer service at all if they don't pay decent wages. Some people will whine about how the customer is always right, but if you're not being paid enough, it just gets easier and easier to just tell the customer to fuck off.

This comic strip shows my philosophy towards people better than I could say it. Also, Young African Americans Against Media stereotypes could use a bit more content, but it's a good starting place. If you don't have good sense, remember- people choose what news to run, what pictures to show, what experts to call in the media. Also, a special treat- it's an interview with Robert Crumb! Plus, Kochalka brand cuteness daily. It's American Elf! And no, it's not supposed to be funny- it's a diary strip. Also, satire=cool. And sweetness- Marmalade Boy's finally coming out!