Let's mock this dumbass! He blows a lot of hot air about porn, completely ignoring that porn is ACTING. A PERFORMANCE. A HUGE ASS INDUSTRY. THAT WHEN THE REST OF US GET BUSY, WE GOTTA GO AND GET FOLKS TO UNLEARN THIS BS. Yes, some women are in this industry making bank. He says Oh, nobody made them perform in porn. Yay for them! That's a side step, though. I'm not talking about how happy and great folks might feel in real life[although folks overstate this.] I'm talking about what the porn industry is putting out there for us to consume. Nobody made anyone perform in blackface, either, but I'm not going to accept that it's all cool and non problematic. I understand that some people think anything with sex in it is saved from comment. Me? No fucking way. Public 'art' is there for public comment. Just because porn depicts people performing sex acts doesn't mean that we can't be like "dude, she's faking it. And I bet she doesn't actually do that in the bedroom. She gets her check, she keeps on rolling, paying her rent, saving for school." It's like actors. I don't think that every single black actor who has been a slap stick soul brother in a film goes around at every party yelling their catch phrase. No, no, no. And when guys that Sonjata or whatever say that they really think this is about two people in the bedroom, that they just woke up one day and decided to make a sex tape, that creeps me out. The actress is separate from her role. Yes, she's being cast as a one dimensional caricature of race and sex, but that's not who she is.

[BTW: I thought of a better analogy later and decided to add it. Porn is like a reality tv show. Now, reality tv uses 'real people' but they cast them, they edit things out, there's a general story line. Even if we're going less The Bachelor and more Intervention, you can't use all of the footage, so people make choices on what would be the most exciting. People's behavior also tends to change when cameras go on, and the type of person who wants to be filmed is not representative of the entire population- so even 'amateur' porn has many differences from the bedrooms of the majority of people]

You can't say don't judge people's bedrooms when the windows are wide open. If porn actors, directors and producers wanted us not to talk about their work, they'd not post it on the net, nor would they try to induce people to spend money on it.

You see, when folks say they can't tell the difference between a fantasy, even a misogynistic white centric fantasy, and reality, that scares me. No no no! Real sex doesn't come in neat boxes of anal asians, black man on white girl, or 'mature'. Real sex isn't a performance, market tested, hoping for the biggest audience, or the one with the most cash. Porn? It's like pro wrestling. STAGED. Not to mention, women can make misogynist trash too. Check out Twilight.

And his experience of feminists claming that looking at a woman is sexual harrassment is as phoney balony as the white folks who swear up and down, up and down, that black people stole their spot in college, or MRAs who swear up and down that women are poking holes in condoms and using turkey basters in their exhaustive drive to have screaming babies wake them up every single day for months on end. I just don't believe it. I think it's because I hear so much minimization of male violence or at least male jerkassery.

I bet once we get to the end of that story of 'just looking', we'll have guys leering on the street, folks looking at folks undressing, and video tapes of people's panties all in 'just looking'. I mean, if actual rape can be called 'having sex' by news outlets, what can we expect from dude?

BTW: If a black person with a penis identifies as a woman, I go with it. The idea that if only fathers would come back and head the family, all would be fine does trivialize women's work, and makes it invisible. "Oh yea...I guess you work, and do tons of childcare and housework. But man! If only more men were fathers..." is the attitude. I don't think being a man or being a woman is essential to the family. It's the person who does the work, who takes care of the kids when they are sick, who teaches, who guides, who mentors who is important to the family, even if they are both women, both men, men and women in nontraditonal roles. Not to mention, maybe some of us don't want to be in traditional families, and actually, the idea that only the nuclear family model is good for the black community is played out.

It's too tied to economics. When things get tough, without the ability to be 'the provider', we see folks giving up. But, I think there are other models that can protect all children, even if dad gets ill and dies, even if the mom becomes addicted. And not all women and not all men want to be breadwinner and home drudge.

Also, yes, I did call out the general male privilege of "I deserve this sort of woman". Because it annoys me. Men seem to believe they deserve the proverbial ten, when they are batting more at a one, or maybe a two. I'm not attacking all black men, just the sort of black man who says I'm not dating black women for X reason, and you look at him, and say "and you're so great, why?"