Monday, March 08, 2010

I'm name calling someone who thinks that it should be unsafe for women to walk the streets, just cuz it's legal to leer, harass, and film doesn't mean it should pass without comment. Oh yea, and I can't be against a billion dollar industry because of personal freedom. Oh hell naw! Yes, it's allowed to mock, degrade and hurt women in 'art'*, but I'm also personally allowed to pick it apart. And dude is a million years behind the curve. Two or three generations behind the curve. I was in the first generation with truly widespread internet porno, but there's the kids coming up now too. I might not look at internet porn, but I am the one who had to explain that, yes, women have pubes, no, women tend to have gag reflexes, and no, really, ass to mouth is a bad idea. Internet porn is shaping our sexualities in ways that are pretty much like us all getting driving instruction from Too Fast Too Furious.

And porn genres like anal asians isn't about women and men going with the moment, connecting with each other- it's "yea, I'm in a scene doing anal today." It has no connection with Nashville Asian women doing anal with their boyfriend, unless their boyfriend pestered them into anal because of too much porno consumption. If they decided they need anal simulation- it's not media for others, it's enjoyment for themselves. But when we mix up media and reality, when we think that 'starlets' on twitter don't have a financial interest in flattering our egos, when we think that our own sex tape is the same as a film made by some company. I like how we often think that Lesbian Feminists Love Their Vaginas somehow absolves the million tons of woman hating sludge out there. Think about it- are our high schoolers and college students watching Lesbian Feminist Vagina Love or are they watching mainstream porno? Hint: It's like the difference between teens watching Avatar and teens watching Daughters of the Dust. Mainstream Hollywood doesn't get off the hook with a few prestige features, so why so eager to let the porn industry off the hook?

And yes, I didn't read his whole dumbass misogynist apologist twitter stream. I also don't follow MRAs on twitter either. I just read his dumbassery on his blog and responded. If he wants me to be nice to him, he can stop being a dumbfuck. Some women are nice, nurturing, now see here... I'm not! You want kid gloves, don't make excuses for oppressing me and mine.

Excuses hurt women. When they say, "I was just looking! I was just filming!", it's the woman who is scared or slut shamed. That's why dude is getting slammed by me. The excuses and justifications for male domination hurt real women, and I don't think I can forgive that.

And the sort of dude who thinks that being a man or a woman is that important to the family is just silly. Everyone has within them attributes that might be considered feminine or masculine. I'm aggressive, rude, and forthright, but I also like emotions and crafts, and people say I'm 'good with children'. Some men are gentle, kind and nurturing. I don't really mind the configuration of their genitalia, just as long as they create warm and loving homes. Two manly men can create a home for a child, and two manly women can too.

This dude is from outer space if he doesn't think media including porno can shape expectations. Porno IS media. It isn't sex. It's media.

If I can go "dude, Edward from Twilight is a stalker!" or "What's with romance novels being thinly veiled rape fantasies?" I can also go "why is 'mature' considered a fetish item? Are women over 35 considered nonsexual even though obviously their sexuality is still thriving?" "How did shaved pussy go from a fetish to the norm?" "What's the effect of gonzo porn on the mainstream? Does it add pressure to go nastier?"

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