"It occurred to me, while I was looking at two decades of Penthouses, that Penthouse and other magazines like it had absolutely nothing to do with women and absolutely everything to do with pictures of women" Neil Gaiman on page 25 of Smoke and Mirrors.

But many people never come to this realization that real women and real sex aren't the same as porn women[posed and directed just for that moment] and porn sex[written by a person, most often a man].

Anyway, I bring you the worst porn ever. If you read this, you'll die laughing.