It's time for Love Witch wallpaper.

When I was a kid, the labeling hysteria (everyone's LD, everyone's ADD) hit the black kids the hardest. Because of some one's say so, they were labeled with something wrong with them for life, and held back academically in 'special' classes. I escaped this with the mere label of having a lisp. When the second round of labeling came by in middle school, in which we would be divided into normal and honors, I passed easily, being put into honors for say, English, and pre algebra for math.

Of course, there is a split in my abilities. While doing extremely well in English with no prompting, I needed a teacher who actually knew what they were doing in the math department. I was a B (or in latter days, C student in math) This is not a disability- many people made such grades. The third round of labeling attempts is in high school, in which they divide you into honors, AP, regular, and vocational track classes. Many blacks were stuck in the last, although I was in the first for English, history, and biology, and only in honors for chemistry, and in regular for math. This is not a disability many people went into regular math in high school.

So now I am in college, and am seeing a strange difference in this labeling process. I forgot my lab notebook, so instead of trying to help, I get a labeling attempt. This is not a good idea, as these labels are deeply stigmatizing, and without any more proof than that you should not be making an attempt. I have seen girls dump their unknowns and forget to put their test tubes in their lockers. Are they 'disabled'? Worse yet, this prevents me from getting the help I need. I passed Calculus because instead of insulting and stigmatizing me, my teacher let me come before class, and helped me with the problems.

She did not feel the need to ask if I had checked with disability services. She did not feel the need to imply that I was a deficient person because I didn't do this one thing to 'standard'. My chemistry teacher has this problem constantly- implying that we are all stupid because we all failed the quiz isn't going to help us do better dude. And also, I find the idea that you can decide that I am a moron based on one score sort of dumb. Of course, if I was labeled in childhood, I would not be here. They would have retarded my progress and made me feel I was dumb, and couldn't learn. In fact, some of this effect has been observed, although I am an adult. I still feel rage about this, etc. I am even considering sending an editorial to the school newspaper.


Of course, people will insult me for this, but I'd like to tell them to go fuck themselves. Also, a weird link about this. Also, apparently, forty percent of folks are 'diagnosed' in college- although a real pervasive deficit would probably been noticed earlier.

I watched Bowling for Columbine today. It was good newstainment, agit prop and prank theater all at once. I am slightly confused at the controversy this movie has caused. When we watch the news, we do not get an unbiased picture. Someone decides what footage to put in, what facts to present, what angle they are trying to play to. Not to mention, there is the issue of Foxnews, which may not be 100% accurate.

The focus on the culture of fear was really interesting to me. I remember this year, walking down the streets of downtown Atlanta in broad daylight, and seeing this girl who I was walking to the car with(because she had left her costume for the sci fi convention in the car) freak out because this man said "hey, nice stockings!" to me. She was white and the guy was black, think about it. I also remember a lot of school hysteria. From cheerleaders fearing the freaks to parents fearing all of us, there was a lot of fear and craziness going on. I remember thinking it was ridicolous.

Also, here are two opposing* sides on the factual accuracy of the film, and also, I reccomend an essay about the need for truth to be told in memoirs in this month's Believer magazine.

*However, the statement here about Moore not being sued by anyone is inaccurate, although this is relatively new news.

This whole thing has been attributed to Howard Dean, but unfortunately, I can't find where it came from. Read and think about it. I post this because I think this is an important thing to talk about if we're going to fix the problem.

Talking About Race

Race is a difficult subject in America. Politicians often tell black audiences that they believe in civil rights and affirmative action. Some talk about their own experiences in the Civil Rights movement. Some are now attacking the use of the word quotas in front of white audiences. Doing all of this is important.

But it is not enough.

No white American can understand what it means to be black in America. Things have improved significantly for African Americans in this country since 1964. However, it is important to recognize that the Civil Rights Movement was largely a victory over legal segregation. Discrimination still exists, and we must continue efforts to eliminate it.

Polls show that the majority of white Americans believe that race is no longer a big factor in American life, and that equality of opportunity has mostly been successfully incorporated into American political and social culture. Many white Americans assume that whatever segregation remains in the public school systems and universities around the country is either self-imposed or the product of neighborhood schools.

Bill Clinton is the only President or white Presidential candidate I have ever heard talk candidly about issues of race in America. Black Americans still believe, with some justification, that white America does not understand the historical scars left by slavery and Jim Crow, scars which cannot be erased in a generation or two. Black Americans often mistake white indifference or lack of understanding for racism, which is the case in only a small number of instances.

But many white Americans don't understand that indifference and lack of understanding does lead to institutional racism, where, despite the best intentions of the individuals who run the institution, day-to-day hiring practices only reinforce African American fears and suspicions of bias. Just last week, a Wall Street Journal article reported that white job applicants with criminal records were more likely to be called back for job interviews than African American applicants with clean records.

Affirmative action is still needed in order to overcome the unconscious biases that all Americans of every ethnic group have toward hiring people like themselves. And the discussion of that unconscious bias is essential if we are ever going to bridge the gaps between white America and not only African Americans, but the Latino community, Native-Americans, Asian Americans, and women of all ethnic backgrounds.

Talking about race means more than merely mentioning civil rights or condemning the President's use of the word quota. Talking about race means confronting ourselves with the vastly different perceptions that we have about each other, and trying to walk a mile in one anothers shoes.

Race is not simply a matter of civil rights; it can influence the right to thrive and prosper in American society. A discussion of race is incomplete without addressing the impact of race or ethnicity on the ability to access affordable health care, quality education and the capital to build businesses and create wealth.

It is particularly important for white candidates to raise these issues in front of white audiences. This kind of message can be too easily dismissed or pigeonholed coming from a member of a minority community. If America is going to prosper as the most diverse nation on the face of the earth, we are all going to have to take responsibility for the stereotypes we have of each other, and debunk them.

Let us each commit to do our part.

-Governor Howard Dean, M.D.

Song recommendation for the Day: Rockin' The Suburbs by Ben Folds Five. It's nice STFU to guys who think they have the right to bitch when they haven't even tried to pay a fucking due, and if they had to switch places with someone who actually had paid dues would fucking kill themselves. I'm not putting down people in actual pain, and note that to some extent pain is relative, but to tell the truth, I don't care if they made you read an actual book in school, even if it was by a black person or a woman, or that they made some black person recite a Langston Hughes poem on the school TV show once a freaking year. Go and volunteer in a freaking soup kitchen or at least read about people getting their limbs chopped off by machetes or something.

For readers with nappy hair, Nappturality has come back from a redesign. It's a very good resource for those wanting to go natural.

I like iTunes in the evening where there are a lot of people to mooch...I mean 'share' from. It's interesting to hear what others are listening to, but I think it is weird that others are listening to my paltry collection of music(I still prefer CDs for more than one song)

Porco Rosso will be out in April 2004. The first and second seasons of Sailor Moon are complete and uncut in box sets, although try to watch out for pirates when getting them used. If you're not sure if a particular title is liscenced, animeondvd.com has a pretty comprehensive list, and the anime news network site seems to have a lot of news about what is coming down the pike.

Don't get ripped off by anime bootlegs. Words to watch out for : extra cheap + 'import set' (the real Japanese DVDs tend to cost double what we pay for a DVD in the US), 'all region' or 'region 0' (near all anime DVDs that are licensed are 'region 1'(this is for North Americans), Chinese subtitles, etc.

Why should you care? First, you're paying for something that will probably not have the best translation or picture quality, second, you're paying for what you could get for free. If you're going to pirate, don't pay to pirate. Third, anime companies put out what is profitable. If you're getting ripped off on your favorite show, it's sequel might not come over. So remember, don't be dumb, get a real one!

I still don't want to write my essay, so I'll talk about a surprising occurrence. Once I saw a documentary on Malcolm X on BET(actually having programming that might uplift someone? woah!) but the end bothered me. In the shot you can tell that the classroom is integrated, but only the black kids get up and say "I'm Malcolm X!" (in the shots shown, of course).

I think kids of all races should have done that, since it would have honored Malcolm change of heart. I am remembering these details from The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Anyway, Malcolm X went to Mecca and saw how many different races of Muslims there were, and he had a change of heart. He went from talking about white devils to talking about the connections between different people. That is my favorite turning point ever.

I think that people of every race should be inspired by Malcolm standing up for his rights. Even if he did go wrong in the beginning, I think that we all will go wrong in our lives. Maybe it's better to be able to admit you're wrong than thinking you have to be right all the time. I think that maybe if we learn from what came before, we can become better people.

I don't want to write, so I will rant. My co worker said what I wanted to say. My boss is always like "Sorry your job sucks", and I want to say "What is this supposed to be- the happy fun club? This is a job". But my co worker was much nicer. She said "This is a pretty easy paycheck". And she's right. My biggest work related worries are "Is this skirt modest enough to go to work in?" and "There's nothing good on the radio" and I get a fatter paycheck for less work than I would some other places.

I'm not saying I don't do my work. In fact, I work very hard at it. However, if you're just filing, it's pretty hard to make this work hard, you know? I don't have to talk to people who are angry or babysit someone's random screaming kids. I don't even have to stand up.

One sign you are never getting a real job: You think that Eminem's song "Cleaning Out My Closet"'s connections to confessional literature would be interesting to explore in a short essay.

Random consumerist tidbits. I bought the Nadesico collection from Rightstuf on its Halloween sale. Some may be like 'get it from Ebay', but Ebay is rife with fakes(shitty picture quality, bad translation, your money goes to rip off artists, instead of the people responsible for bringing this stuff to you- unlike the whiners, I understand that anime doesn't come out by magic- those liscencing fees help the companies in Japan produce more anime. )

Also, I had never been in a Loehmann's before, so I was very confused by their store layout. Why do they group it together by designer? Although, this helped my dad spot the display with the skirts that I have been craving. I have one for my prim librarian outfit on Halloween and one just for fun. I am dressing up two days this year- tommorow and Halloween. Tommorow I'll be a Scarlet Woman(who is very tastefully dressed)

I also hate Walmart. Not only do they not let workers form unions(it's the largest private employer in the US- you can't just dismiss these people ), it's full of screaming kids. Great shopping experience? No.

Oh, and gang rape ain't cool.

My new word is perp. A perp is a person who tries to victimize others. I read an article in Bitch magazine(loved it, loved it- articles on the "Cucumber Incident", on Carnie Wilson and Fat Acceptance, an interview w/ the Persopolis author who asks 'why does everyone always ask me why I chose to do a comic? and much more) about domestic abuse victims and pop psych.

I agree with the author that's there's too much stress on how awful the victim is and not enough on how awful the perp is. If you spend all your time ladling guilt on the victim, saying that they are co dependent,etc, all you have is a woman chasing her tail.

But if you punish the perps, the abuse stops, and it stops forever. If we spent half the amount of time we spent trying to hurt the already broken, and more time on standing up to perps, there wouldn't be so many perps.

So if you sit around defending perps, saying "Oh boys will be boys" or "That's just human nature". Think of what stake you have in the status quo. What do you have to gain by having all forms of abuse go on forever?

I think you know what the answer is.

Inspired by Dean's World, which is usually an intelligent conservative blog.

I'd like to say that I don't like misogynistic men. If you have to go to great lengths to 'prove' that half of the human race is not 'logical' (like all men are just the most logical beings on the planet, too) and you try to say that women never did anything(being a goldfish and not seeing that for years, women weren't allowed to do much of anything), maybe you're a misogynist.

My other pet peeve is guys who can't take rejection. Some hot young thing that is way out of their league says "I just want to be friends", and they act like all women are evil incarnate, and just want to be beaten with tire irons. Bonus points for guys who say "No Fat Chicks". I mean, thanks for proving you are slime. If you have to have this perfect girl, why can't she want the perfect guy? And it's not you, because you have the social skills of a poo flinging chimp, and probably smell like one too, but somehow you deserve a girl who looks like your favorite Everquest character? Yea, that's going to happen.

I also don't like goldfish in general. It's not to hard to read the occasional book or even an educational TV show. Just because your parents raised you on Twinkies, ho hos and male supremacy, doesn't mean you need to be a nimrod for the rest of your life. 'Waaaah, it was a long time ago". No, it wasn't, dumbass. If someone's sitting up, telling you about their own experiences with it, it's not a fucking long time ago. How did things that have happened within the life time of a man become so long ago? Being young, I can't say that things that happened before I was born are irrelevant, because the world we live in now comes from the world they lived in then.

You know who makes the rules and laws? Middle aged to old people, mostly. Most folks sitting up in Congress and your state legislatures, etc, are past the age of thirty. What happened to them in their youth and young adulthood, even now effects what laws they are going to pass, and what things they are going to say.

For example, Vernon Jordan(the author of Vernon Can Read, and also a player in the Clinton impeachment trial) was on TV last night, talking about how he was refused an internship, because he was colored. (and the folks really said that, too)Don't you think that is going to affect his worldview? In fact, he joined the Civil Rights Movement, which changed the face of our country.

The thing is to realize that we are not disconnected from what came before. The past's future is the present, and if you forget that, you're going to make the same mistakes or even worse than what came before.

Two dandy Peter Bagge comics all for you. From Reason magazine, and The Stranger. Extra Credit for the Kiddies: for the Reason cartoon, find three ways Bagge underlines the point he made in the text in the picture.

My definition of a 'long time ago': So long ago no one's alive to tell the story to you.

Major Problems:

Things that are keeping me from deciding on a major:

1)Talent:
I'm not good at anything that actually has job potential.

2)Temperment: People are mean to me already. I don't need a job in which people look down on me because I didn't have such good luck as them.

3)Parents: I don't think that I can pay my own tuition, which makes wasting money a very guilt ridden thing to do

4)Debt: You can't pay off debt with a paper hat. on your head, let me tell you.

The wallpaper for the week is this. I needed a happy picture today to match my mood. Maybe after my midterm, I can finally watch Spirited Away again.