Another PSA

Employed people: There has been some confusion on what a job lead is. So let's play Goofus and Gallant. Goofus says "Hey! I saw a sign at a fast food place that said it was hiring!" "Gallant says "Hey, my workplace is looking for an office assistant. Here's the manager's number". Goofus thinks our applicant can just show up at a random fast food place and get hired- despite being over/underqualified. Gallant realizes that matching the experience of the friend to the job is important, finds a spot that is actually hiring, and gives his friend the hookup.

Goofus says "Here's some random links I found on the internet!" Gallant says "I told my professional contacts that you were looking.". Goofus thinks his unemployed friend doesn't have the internet and can't use a search engine. Gallant knows that giving material help that the jobseeker couldn't get by just using google is important.

Goofus says "Man, why are you on the internet if you're looking for work?" Gallant says "Let's watch movies at my place." Goofus still believes that pounding the pavement will get you anything other than "apply online." Gallant knows that the process is long and hard- and life can't be put on hold for people who may take months to get back to you. If ever.

President says STAY IN SCHOOL. This is SOCIALISM, and will lead to the children being the protagonists of urban fiction novels. So let your children skip school, because they shouldn't learn anything for a whole day because of the creeping socialism.

Urban fiction mad lib here:

On the [insert negative adjective here] streets of [insert city here], [insert 'street job'] [insert name] tries to get out of the [negative adjective] life. But he/she keeps being pulled by in by [insert humorous ghetto name]. Will they be able to resist the lure of the street?

I learn that if only we ate organic and ran 500 miles a day, we'd all be healthy and wouldn't need that pesky 'health care' Wow! I bet we never thought of that before! Hold the phones, smart folk! Don't spend years and years thinking about class, social structure, and even...ACTUAL BIOLOGY?! Heh, the germ theory of disease, the fact that cancer is a multifaceted illness that can't always be warded off by eating organic tomatoes, and the simple fact that shit happens and you might want to use medical science to take care of that fucking sucking chest wound you have there doesn't matter. Man, folks who don't know shit are the experts of our time.

We learned an important lesson about people who say life is unfair. They are bastards. Uh..people are dead, and injured here. They need more comfort than just life is unfair.

But instead of being a horrible person who sucks, you can donate to help the tornado victims.