President says STAY IN SCHOOL. This is SOCIALISM, and will lead to the children being the protagonists of urban fiction novels. So let your children skip school, because they shouldn't learn anything for a whole day because of the creeping socialism.
Urban fiction mad lib here:
On the [insert negative adjective here] streets of [insert city here], [insert 'street job'] [insert name] tries to get out of the [negative adjective] life. But he/she keeps being pulled by in by [insert humorous ghetto name]. Will they be able to resist the lure of the street?