Saturday, June 12, 2010

You know- what is it that sexually 'liberated 'folk have against the missionary position? It's a perfectly fine pathway to pleasure, and maybe even intimacy! Of course there was some good ol' hardy har har I really regretted having sex with an ugly woman, which has a nasty sort of tinge there, and I'm annoyed at the whole tone that suggests that help of any sort for people having sexual issues is just big meanies trying to cut down on sexual fun.

I'm annoyed because people do this all the time when we speak about psychological issues- they say "well, I've had a fight or two as a kid! Diagnose me with conduct disorder, hardy har har!" I think what people don't realize is with psychiatric diagnoses the behavior is extreme and life altering. With 'sex addiction'[not in the DSM 4 as a diagnosis, btw], we're not talking merely someone who gets it in the bar bathroom with some chicks every weekend, or someone who engages in sexual fetishism, we're talking the guy who gets fired from his job because he's been diddling himself with coke bottles and being sent to the hospital because of this. We're talking about someone who spends his life savings on buying sex work. We're talking someone who instead of using pornography in moderation rubs himself raw.

Most folks if their sex life is interfering with things dial it down. "OK, so having sex on that picnic table didn't go over well- I'll find some place more private next time" or "OK, I'll never stick that there again.". But the 'sex addict' for lack of a better word is compulsive. Many behaviors that in many people are normal and life improving can become compulsive. It's fine to overeat sometimes, but binge eating to the point you throw up every day is not adaptive. Shopping or gambling can be entertaining pastimes, but if you've spent your life savings on either one, they are no longer helping you.

So I can see why some people may go to self help groups to deal with these problems. It's free, and it might help. It's not a Christian plot to outlaw sex.

*Note- sex addiction is in quotes as I don't know what else to call 'those folks whose compulsive sexual behavior is hurting them and others'.

1 comment:

sbanbury said...

More than three times a day is a problem, but so is less ;-)