I'm feeling irritable today. I was enjoying No Longer at Ease, because like Things Fall Apart, it's a perfect Greek tragedy, except for with an external fatal flaw merging with the internal fatal flaw. I'm at about chapter 11, and you can see the beautiful trajectory of the falling arc... Yes, I love depressing books and movies, but not this chapter of Wretched of the Earth that I have to read for class, because it's way different if actual people died or went crazy.

I read this post by Hugo and some of the comments made me a bit grumpy. It really annoys me when privileged people start crying about how they might be fucking blamed. FOR GOD'S SAKE, SUCK IT THE FUCK UP. Because of your fucking wussiness, the rest of us have to take on your blame for you. STOP LYING AND SAYING YOU CARE ABOUT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU WON'T TAKE ANY YOURSELF.

I really hate that! I don't know why- it just drives me nuts! It also pisses me off when people say they care about hard work, but what they really care about is how much money you make. But seriously, do you think the black teen boy who says fuck all y'all because he is sick of being rejected by a system that says that he can't ever amount to anything unless his whole existence is one big fat apology for being black is going to get any of this sympathy that these wussies are whining about how they need?

Why do we need to always accommodate their fucking needs? The whole point is that they have to learn to think about someone else for ten fucking seconds. I think that if you make it 'guilt free' people won't seriously examine their role in fucking things up, and all you'll get are people who are just lying.

It's just like you have to either come wanting to learn, or you don't come at all. It's like college in a way. Some of these folks in my school- they will sit there, they will do the work- but they aren't really present- they don't really want to get educated, they want the piece of paper. The big way that's like anti racism is that if people just want to be called not racist versus actually not being racist. (Of course people may say- why am I going off on racism after a post about sexism? I tend to somehow feel it as a single entity-racism/sexism)

But like some people just want the shiny gold star, but others want the actual achievement- and because they actually want it, they'll be able to do that it takes, even if it means feeling bad for ten seconds. That's probably what really burns me up about it. THEY AREN'T EVEN WILLING TO FEEL BAD FOR A CLASS PERIOD.

They simply hate us that much. Yes, I say hate, not indifference. In indifference, if you are awakened to someone's suffering, you'll respond. But in hate- you are closed off from all possible empathy with others. Like I am angry with whites, I am displeased with them. But I am able to feel for them.

If it took me feeling bad for a few class periods to lift millions of people's suffering, I'd do it. If it took me standing in the rain for hours, I'd do it. If it required me to stand up and refuse to be a douche, I'd do it. They refuse to make the smallest sacrifice for their brothers. Something that would cost them nothing- they refuse to give. That hurts me so badly, I am unable to contain my rage.