I think the R card is a great idea. Some kids are simply going to be more mature than others, and some people just don't think some "R rated" material is that shocking, compared to the real world. For example, the classic Do The Right Thing is R rated, but has much socially redeeming value for a bright 15 year old to grasp. While many R rated movies may just have pointless violence and sex, some of the best movies are R rated, because there is an assumption that if you're watching an R rated movie, you can handle complicated concepts. While you can do complex concepts on a G rating, film makers tend to assume that only films for kids can be G rated, which is sad IMO.

History Lessons

It's pretty hard to make informed decisions about anything without knowing history. The rhetoric is fast and furious, and the claims come just as fast. What the candidates were doing in Vietnam has even been brought up as a campaign issue. So only having a memory limited to the last ten years, with most of the important parts left out is no way to go through life.

Here are some historical tidbits. Many people do not know this, but in the 1960's, the Republican(which used to be voted for by blacks as an exclusive party, when they could get to the poll box, party of Lincoln and all) and the Democratic Parties switched ideologies.

Also, when abortion was illegal, some women did not just have the baby, and stand up in church with the father or adopt it out to a rich family. Some instead went to abortionists or tried to abort themselves. Here is an excerpt of a book about this.

How To Make Yourself Look Like a Bigot


Common Sense isn't very common. For all the talk about tolerance, some people just don't get it. Here are some ways you may brand yourself intentionally or unintentionally as a bigot. Hard indications are #1 and #5. Hard means that there is a 90% possibility that you don't have good sense, and are a bigot. The rest are soft indications- you might be, but you may just be blind to white privlege.

1)Wear confederate flags. To you, it may mean the your Southern heritage, but to the rest of us, you simply seem disrespectful. Symbols are not value neutral- through association with the KKK, and segregationist, the Confederate battle flag has become a symbol of hate, and so when you wear it, it's kind of like wearing a big swastika, it might have been a good luck sign before, but it's been perverted so much, that just wearing it becomes a symbol of disrespect. If you respect others enough to not wear that, respect others enough not to wear the confederate flag. If not.. people will think you're a bigot.

2)Whine about 'political correctness'. Since political correctness has been stripped of all meaning, but people who gripe against it are usually whining because they can't use derogatory terms without disapproval,this is a soft sign. When coupled with griping because someone had to give an insulting fake apology ("I'm sorry anyone was offended"- way to take responsibility) this is a much harder sign.

3)'Personal Responsibility'- another soft sign. Just recognize who you are telling to take responsibility. Is it always the Other- for example- saying to cut public funds for food for young kids because minority + poor moms need to take 'personal responsibility' but not minding welfare for corporations who don't do a good job. Do you always see the problems of one race as problems of 'responsibility' across the entire?

4) "Reverse Racism"- this sign is somewhat soft, but is harder than some others. This word assumes that racism against whites is some horrid aberration, needing a new term. Also, this usually goes along with non reality based whining about 'oppression'. This is using white privlege here, since you're allowed to ignore real problems, hijack productive discussion, and also get the 'street cred' of victimhood without even the possibility of real harm coming. Clue: oppression is way more than getting a funny look when you say the n word.

5)Christian Idenitity and other White Power/supremacy groups- Very hard sign. The whole idea about White Power is not about having pride in your own culture- it's about keeping power. To explain this, a bit more racial theory is needed. These groups seem to think that they have some sort of special biology that makes them better than non whites. Race isn't a biological thing. For example, different places have different race rules. In the US, black heritage was considered so strong that just 'one drop' could make you black. However in Brazil, many people we consider black wouldn't be considered black. Also, variation within races is greater than variation between them.

Also, in the past, people we now consider white, weren't. Even though the Irish shared the pale skin of whites, they didn't get their full privileges of whiteness until sometime after the first Irish arrived. Whiteness is thus not just about phenotype. It's always been about power- before, laws regulated the power of whites,creating segregation legally, and by custom, causing a blind eye to be turned to anti black violence, but now, we have a subtler power accorded to whiteness- for example, Horowitz the attention whore(who I believe is Jewish- not considered white by some other race rules) can get his whining considered seriously, but try to have a black talk about oppression, and the belitting just doesn't stop. Black calls for sorry or even reparations are called 'silly' and framed as 'money grubbing blacks" , despite the US' ability to mea culpa for internment.

These groups believe that whiteness entitles them to this power- that is why there is the fear of being outbreeded, the fear of equality for others, and the use of violence to achieve their goals sometimes. Whiteness isn't a culture except as an amalgamation of peoples who may or may not have been considered white in the past, and also, their rhetoric does not focus on their own, but rather the 'protection' of the white race.
Speaking of Irish people, I have an anecdotal example of what I am talking about. I knew a girl who was really into her Irishness- spoke Gaelic,etc, but she wasn't a white pride type- quite the opposite- she could appreciate black culture(especially writers) as well. That's non pathological, the pathological type is mutually exclusive with the enjoyment of other cultures that aren't 'white'.

6)Complain about all the 'unimportant' subjects taught in school (or 'multiculturalism'). If books by white authors can be taught, why not black authors? If white history can be taught, why not history that includes everyone who built America? I mean, there's no magic chemical in melanin that makes you unable to write good prose, or even great literature. Blacks, Mexicans and other types of Hispanics, Native Americans, and Asians have all helped build our country- so what makes their achievements less important?

7)"unqualified people" (affirmative Action) This is based on the stereotype of the stupid and lazy Negro. The idea that black skin makes you inherently unqualified is pretty confusing. Also, non reality based assertions are a common part of the toolbox of the bigot. I realize that it's pretty comforting to believe that the reason you can't get ahead if blacks, but come on.. It's pretty easy to believe that just because a black got 'your' (see the sense of entitlement?) job, that they got in because of AA, because you simply do not consider the fact that blacks can be qualified for jobs.



There are many other signs hard and soft, but I shall adjourn.

Instead of working on my resume, I'll talk about society's problems. One is dickless men. Dickless men are violent. Dickless men whine about how only jerks get sex. Dickless men want women barefoot and preggers. Dickless men think that because they can't talk at length about how they'd like to do their secretary on the table in front of her, America is now a terrible freedomless state. Not all dickless men do all these things, but the reason why they are called dickless is that they are weak.

They can't handle change, they can't handle rejection without bitching up a storm, they just can't handle anything. They have to go up and try to base themselves on a fake ass image of masculinity rather than be a real man. A real man has control- control of himself. He doesn't make weak ass excuses like "her skirt was short, I just had to rape her" He doesn't go around abandoning his kids. He doesn't just give money either, he gives love and time. A real man can keep cool when it's needed, and show emotion when it's needed. They don't need to be hard all the time, because they are secure. For a real man, he's so secure, he doesn't have to have his women be less. He encourages them to be all they can be. He doesn't think he is threatened if others have power, because he knows he has power- the power in himself to live up to his potential.

Yes, this real man is an ideal, but we can strive for our ideals, and work for them. That's what makes us tough people.

A Change Gon' Come...

Change is a constant. That's why I can't understand why people are so scared of it. Our society is changing, it's always been changing, maybe we're changing a bit for the better. People always complain about change, but what's the point, it's just gonna come. People are always running back, trying to recapture a past that just didn't even happen.

Where is that utopia before black rights, gay rights, women's rights? I don't know, but from reports from people who lived it, it didn't exist. I sometimes wish we could go back to the time that the only thing we worried about is the President's dick, but that time can never come back. Our dreams of the past are way different than it was, anyway. I was a young teen then, and I wouldn't go back to that age for anything.

We have to go forward. That utopia we are dreaming of may never exist. If we keep crying for the past, we guarantee that it'll never come to us. Of course, the ones crying for the past are the ones who I want their dreams to never come true. I got my n word wake up calls, but I don't wanna die for looking at people funny or not be able to (in theory) get a job that uses my abilities. I've never been pregnant, but I don't want to go back to the days when people took dangerous herbs or used all manner of horrors to remove a fetus. I'm not a practicing gay, but I'm glad that now they are able to get married. More happiness can be spread that way, and when I finally have kids, and they get my age, they'll look at me, and laugh when I say that once gays couldn't get married, much as us today see the idea of multiracial marriage being banned as laugh worthy.

Our upheavals will seem so petty in the future. When at least white supremacy is truly killed, the children will laugh at the history books, saying that folks complained that black history was learned in college, and they'll laugh at the books once saying that white men thought that having schools with ten percent blacks in them was a threat. They'll be howling when we tell them about how people were scared of queer theory- hhahahaa, mama, they'll say, they really were scared to see if books said anything about gays? They'll cry with laughter when we tell them that seeing how women were portrayed in books was considered the end of all civilization!

Our foolish fears and foolish pride will all be laughed at in the future, so why don't we start laughing now?

Sorry for the extreme amount of blogging today, but Matt Thorn has penned a new essay on manga, and since intelligent views on manga are pretty rare- mostly there is company hype and reviews that consist solely of 'bishie bishie bishie!" and 'it was SOOOOOOOO coooool!", maybe there will be some well written apologetics that tie an entire series together. I think us manga fans have to try a bit harder,eh?

Also, finally someone tells people what shoujo manga are and are not. I get sick and tired of people calling Maison Ikkoku shoujo, because apparently men just can't read a romance story unless the protagonist is falling into someone's clevage all the time.

Bring on the misogyny. Apparently, rpgs, sims, card games online, puzzle games, and any other games that someone without a penis actually plays are not 'real games'. I fail to see why just because 'stay at home moms' may enjoy a game makes it not a real game. To me, a video game is a game played on a computer based machine. It's content neutral as to what the game is about- it could be matching gems of various colors or it could be about splattering the brains of your enemies on the wall.

Not to mention that there are girls and women playing games about splattering brains across walls, but many may enjoy other types of games that are just as valid. I think the inclusion of different gaming styles does make gaming a more viable hobby and puts it into the mainstream.

Not everyone has hours and hours of time to blast people into oblivion, so a short puzzle game will fit into their life style. Others may want a creative game with more player input than what gun to use. Many people want more social games, and that's where games like Mario Party come in. We don't insist that the only 'real books' are spy novels, so why do we insist that FPS are the only 'real video games'?

It seems that Fantagraphics has a coup in the Complete Peanuts. It's on the New York Best Seller list, and so I hope that Fanta can put the extra money behind more art comics. This seems to be at least twelve years without money worries, if they play their cards right, and without money worries, more new artists can be taken on, and more old artists can continue to be archived.

Fantagraphics has always been a leader in that field, and more art comics means the advancement of comics in my view. I'm not saying that comics don't need manga and Oni press(the real mainstream in my parlance) or even superheroes, but we also need to stretch beyond what comics we have made in the past, and go towards the future.

Yesterday, I mastered the art of the double afro puff. First, I washed my hair and took down my twists. Then I parted my hair down the middle. Then, taking two very large elastic hair holders, I twisted one like a figure 8, and put half around one half of my hair. Then, I put the other half around the same half again. Using the other hair holder, I repeated the process.

As many blog readers know, I am strongly anti racist. This is of course because of the values I hold dear. I admire hard workers, even though I know society has different ideas(it's not the girl holding down two jobs to make the rent and feed her baby that is admired). So when folks wanna sit down and talk about black folks without doing the work, I get pissed. Know why folks don't want you to say the n word, we didn't just come out of the sky to annoy you.

Also, a note about racism. Folks don't have to be saying n word to your face for you to be bothered about it. You see it in their assumptions, in their words and actions, and it hurts. You see other wise well intentioned folks parroting that sort of garbage rhetoric, and it hurts. You see folks assuming you are less than, when all you got is a problem(just like anyone else) and dark skin. You worry about where you can live where the racism isn't as upfront. You see movies and TV shows defaming your race, and you read editorials in the newspaper about how all your race are just making things up, while giving sympathy to people who haven't experienced anything near discrimination. (as I call it, comparing a hang nail to the holocaust. ) Also, I note how bad stuff that happens to other folk is respected. I used the Holocaust, because the horror of the Holocaust is sacred. But talk about slavery, a time period in which millions died(although less efficiently), and folks act like it's no big deal, that we should be glad that at least we're not in Africa(and that's real rhetoric too)

Not to mention, no one ever really whines about being made to feel guilty about the Holocaust. Germany didn't whine about this, when they were bitch slapped back into sanity, they decided that Nazism was evil, but here we are today, still trying to pretend that slavery was benign. People whine because people want them to be cognizant of their privilege I try to be cognizant of my privilige(I'm not poor, and I'm a girl, so I don't have to worry about being masculine) and don't gripe about it.

Yea, I don't get the satisfaction of talking about how the poor are all lazy and stupid, but to tell the truth, even like whites who admirably try to rise above their privilege, I still have it. People try to pretend it was done away with, and now they have negative privilege- bull and shit.

Warning, NSFW. A pretty picture of women who look like actual lesbians. Strange that a picture that looks so real is out on the net. Also, (SFW) a page on Asian racial issues, and an angry Asian man completes this link potpourri.

Here is a funny post written by a "Pete Turk" and posted on usenet:



-------------- Press Release --------------------------

The Whiners' Club of America (WCA) announces that it
will offer the following free memberships:

------------
Basic Level:
------------

One reference to "jerks get sex, nice guys don't".
Any general explanation for this phenomena accepted.

This level of membership will entitle you to lifetime
membership into the Whiners' Lounge, or until you lose
your virginity ... whichever comes first.

--------------------
Silver Club Members:
--------------------

To get this level you need:

The creation of a general theory of women's behaviour
or attitude. This theory can be based on either imagined
or actual experiences.

No verification of this theory is required.

The rewards of this level is lifetime membership in the WCA,
that does not expire at the loss of virginity.

However, if feelings of bitterness subside, or the theory
has not been actively discussed in a 3-year period, the silver
club membership will be revoked.

------------------
Gold Club Members:
------------------

To get this level you need:

A fully developed general theory of women's behaviour and
attitudes with rationalisations and justifications;

No date in the preceding 1 year;

Have not approached any women for dates or conversations
in 3 months;

As a reward you receive membership to the Whiners' Lounge.

However, the WCA cannot guarantee against ridicule, disdain,
disbelief, disrespect, contempt or any other emotion that
may be expressed in the member's direction.

Finally we have the:

***********************
Platinum Level Members:
***********************

To get this level you need:

A fully developed general theory of women's behaviour and
an attempt to fit _any_ situation into the theory regardless
of the evidence.

Sexual History or sexual attempts are irrelevant.

Revocation is at the discretion of the member.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


The WCA was set up to provide a warm comfortable meeting place
for men to relax and exchange ideas. The WCA is proud of its
distinguished role in society. We are located all over the
country.

Look in the yellow pages for a club near you.

Signed the President ...


======== end of press release ==============================

Critical Consciousness is important. By which I mean a combination of empathy, a bullshit detector and intellectual curiosity. This is very important, but it's not taught anywhere. There are a lot of books to help, as critical consciousness is more of a book person thing- a person who is unreflective can't have critical consciousness as a matter of fact. A person without critical consciousness merely absorbs the dictates of the culture without thinking about it. If fat is declared evil(everything is thought of as having a moral dimension nowadays), you don't think "What about my mom, is she evil?" or "They say 60% are overweight- can all these people really just be bad people?", no, you jump on the band wagon and start flinging the hate.

A lack of critical consciousness can lead to the blame game.
The blame game is totally useless. If you say that "It's your fault you were raped, you shouldn't have shaved your pubes"(WARNING!!! Link is really graphic, really disturbing to people with any humanity at fucking all) or "Man, you're fat! It's because you eat like a hog, you fat pig" , nothing changes. Maybe someone's life is ruined, but the problem doesn't stop. Not to mention, it's near impossible to build community unless you learn to drop it at some time. For example, if your partner is tired, comes home from a long day, and doesn't clean up their room, if you start yelling about how lazy they are, and how stupid they are (blaming them, making it into a moral issue), you're going to have a fight on your hands,and enough fights, and your relationship is dissolved.

The same with the blame game in the larger society. You have to feel the people you are demonizing are truly other, that's where empathy comes in. You have to believe the lies about them, that's where the bullshit detector comes in, and you have to not be able to look for other sources, that's where intellectual curiosity comes in- you can't just grab the first hypothesis that comes to your mind, but keep searching.

I'm not saying I'm a guru, I have a hard time being tolerant of conservatives- anyone who wants to create more suffering- through forced births, racial inequality, and just the general excesses of capitalism- causes me to be angry, although I know that they are not talking about the real world, but the ideal one, or at least I hope, because it's pretty hard to pretend that no one would get pregnant just because you said sex was bad...

It seems that animeondvd.com is having a contest in which one can win five volumes of the Fancy Lala series. Long time readers of this blog may note that I like this series. It's a good magical girl series, but not if you're a fan of monster of the day stories or other obvious anime tricks. Instead of being a wacky story, it tries to be a good story, and succeeds, mostly. It's a good mix of fantasy elements and reality. Fantasy elements include the fact that there is magic that causes one to be able to obtain a older form anyway, and that she was discovered at all(through a very very lucky accident). Real elements involve the fact that stardom is hard work, your friends aren't going to suddenly be happy about you bailing on them all the time, and life's tough just as a little kid.

Also, the fantasy elements actually enrich the story. Many times in magical girl shows there seems to be a bit of separation. There is a part of the show where the girl interacts with her family and friends, and then there is a part where she uses her powers and there is fighting and excitement. Lala is a helper magical girl show, so her powers tend to help smooth over situations in her life, rather than to conquer an outside force.

I believe that Lala is the first helper style magical girl show in the states. This of course leads to novel misunderstandings. However, I think it's great that we have such variety now. A few years ago, the idea that a shoujo show would come out was shocking.

I think the tension between ideal and reality is interesting. I'm a bit scared of people who think you must adhere to this narrow ideal, or else, you deserve anything that happens to you. Ideals are illusions, that help us to see something else, but they can never really be reality, because reality always has problems. People who think we would be in utopia if only every non married person never had sex, if everyone prayed in school, and if no one was on welfare are fooling themselves. Someone is always going to have sex, there are other important values to focus on(like the separation of church and state), and just look at the third world to know what that sort of no safety net thing causes.. So people have to compromise.

For example, I'd love to always buy from a business that was great for the environment, treated workers well, and not a huge corporation. But, there are compromises. I was reading in Color Lines about how Starbucks is really pretty good for employees and sometimes tries to help out the environment. Good. But what about not being huge? Not going to happen. And what if the local coffee merchant is small and good with workers, but to keep prices down buys the cheaper beans from underpaid people? So one has to decide what is most important.

I think everyone likes different character dynamics in their anime. I'm not a fan of vague romantic tension. "Will they, won't they" doesn't interest me. But I like character conflict- what happens when personalities clash. I'm watching the first season of Sailor Moon, and I think part of the reason it still holds up is that conflict. The whole Rei/Usagi pairing is even better as it matures, but even at the beginning, the fact that Usagi is easy going, although overemotional, while Rei tries to keep things under control is very striking. It is also more interesting than the budding love interest at this stage. Tuxedo Mask comes in, saves everyone, everyone thinks he's so hot, etc. Mamoru's character seems much better to me at the beginning, when there's still verbal parrying and fun going on, than later on, when he becomes the long suffering boyfriend. Of course, by the end, Usagi's much more toned down- which is a good thing on the writer's part- it's hard to imagine someone fighting so many menaces, and going through so much danger, and staying the same. Of course, Usagi always remains her cheerful underlying self.

Of course, everyone has different definitions of classics, and they are always being revised. What was fresh a year ago, seems stale now, what seemed like an anime that would still be talked about twenty years from its start(like Uresei Yatsura or even Creamy Mami, which in 1998, had a homage show(Fancy Lala) produced) 5 years ago, now seems like a passing fancy today. Of course, in the tons of anime we get nowadays, it's easy to forget the classics- they are dated, we want something shiny and new.

But I think it's also a difference in the type of fan too. I see two types of fans. I call one type Animerica type fans. They tend to be new to the fandom, and tend to like the more obvious shows that are shiny and 'hot this season'. By obvious, I mean relying on a lot of anime fan type tricks- OMG! I misunderstood your intentions, so now I have to beat you, Will they or won't they, Look! We're Wacky!, Hey, bishounen/shoujo!, are they yaoi/aren't they yaoi. Being this sort of fan isn't necessarily bad, but it's mostly a surface kind of anime love. You can have been a fan for years, and still be this type.

I don't have a cutesy nickname for the other type. They tend to notice shows that may not be so 'hot' or 'new'. They delve into all corners of anime for their fix, from older shows to shows that are a bit more obscure, and less obvious. They may exult over the baroque loveliness of Onii-sama E or chase magical girl show history back to Akko-chan no Himitsu, they don't turn their noses up at the ugly animation of the first Gundam series. I find this type to be pretty valuable, as they are the fans that will be historians for all the rest of us, after we have moved on from the latest show, and want to know what else is out there.

I know I have been helped by such fans in my youth, and others will be helped by fans like that. Anime is a fun diversion, but there will always be those to which anime is not just a small phase in life, in which anime is cherished deeply. ...or something like that.

Teresa Heinz Kerry had the most campaign perfect near abortion ever. I'm not saying that to down the pain of losing a fetus/baby or whatever, but she had to (nearly, she miscarried) have an abortion because she took cortisol medication(a mistake anyone could make, and not connected to s e x ) and then was ordered by her doctor(she didn't want to!) abort because of possible birth defects(see! she was to abort to save her child suffering!). It's the perfect big tent abortion- pro choicers like it because even a high placed Senator's wife was faced with the choice, cuts down on prejudice against the poor. (Chris Rock's notes on the association with being able to support a kid, and abortion are well noted) Pro lifers like it because it was to help a pre born child. Not for economic reasons(because God will provide if you save that baby's life! not), but for a reason that we can all get behind- health. Not to mention, she's a happily married (white) woman, not one of those unmarried welfare queens(usually thought of as black).

I think that people should spend less time thinking about how fat they are, and more time trying to doing something productive. I'm not saying to eat a whole ice cream cake every day, but most of this obsessing about weight isn't even necessary. If you spent the hour you spent worrying about your weight gardening for the community or starting a micro business or just anything productive, the world would be a better place.

I hope that Coach Asshat is fired. It seems that he got a similar award in his youth- an example of how you can teach kids that being a moron is ok. People, kids do not need special lessons in sociopathic assholeness, they can do that just fine themselves. What kids need to be taught is empathy and compassion, because that doesn't come so easy. Why people somehow think that kids need special efforts to teach them that hurting others is ok and even brings reward, I do not know.

Thanks Coach Asshat. Instead of teaching or setting an example, you decided to humiliate a kid in front of the entire school. Noone should be allowed to bitch if this kid gets fat(because he's scared off sports for life), if he commits suicide(because the tormenting gets worse.) or if he takes bloody revenge. You, the Coach, could have at least tried to act like you had some sense. I don't care if the kid went on his knees and cried before every practice, there is no call for this. If he actually whined- I don't mean, not licking peanut butter off your fucking asscrack, which morons who look for excuses to humiliate 13 year old school kids think it whining - I mean hardcore whining. Just say "Hey, you need a bit more practice before we can really put you in. Here are some tips". The kid learns a positive lesson, not that sports is bad, and that people are assholes who need to die.

You deserve a thousand cock punches.

I feel like not doing any work and just writing useless crap on the internet. So here it is. I think the reason Democrats are more worried about this election stuff (you know, the anyone but bush rhetoric) is that they have a lot more to lose. A Bush horror story: Abortion is outlawed. Your daughter dies of a forced birth, because some one wants to feel morally superior. A Kerry Horror Story: Taxes go up by like 1%. You can't afford a new plasma TV.

I was watching my boxset of Sailor Moon, and I was thinking about how Usagi really is an everywoman. I mean, maybe we may not fall down all the time or cry on the outside, but on the inside, everyone's just had one of those days when it's like 'why do I even live at all?" or maybe not. But it's more likely than not.

Also, nice rejection letters are nice. You can tell that they are nice when they praise an aspect of your writing,etc. Why am I not dejected? Well, there are thousands of writers competing for magazine space. Every magazine gets enough submissions to kill a horse, and most of those submissions tend to be discarded in five minutes. (This may sound crazy, but if your submission starts GoD iS Grat, hE MaDe NaTure... But We, the EloHim, PerfeCted it- how much more do you need to read before you pitch it?) So even a cursory reading is good, at my age. I feel spurred on!

Instead of unpacking, I'll talk about race instead. I was reading my mother's Oprah magazine while we were driving home, and in an article on how today's teen girls are confident and smart, I noticed an interesting tibit. It said something like Fifty seven percent of college students are girls, so admissions standards are lowered for boys. I thought "If that is true, where is the outrage?"

It is true that there are preferences for boys, and there's no outrage. Where is the browbeating, the 'those unqualified applicants are taking our rightful spots' rhetoric, the howls and the screams of sexism? I mean, if affirmative action is so wrong and evil, why is it only OK if it applies to men(or to poor people, as has been suggested)? I think I just got another n word wake up call...

About white liberal guilt and white conservative guilt. I think white conservative guilt(the ever present desire to deny that anything wrong happened or continues to happen to blacks, which I feel is rooted in guilt) is stronger than white liberal guilt. At least in white liberal guilt, you can take reality into your consciousness- something bad happened. Maybe your efforts to make amends might be not the most effective, but at least you're capable of understanding there is a problem. White conservative guilt instead is mostly the making of excuses to make yourself feel better. "Oh, somehow, through magic, having greater melanin in your skin makes you a bad person, so it's ok if the police kill people in the street" It's not rooted in positive guilt, that's what I mean. Positive guilt is when you break the lamp and you try to sweep up the pieces and glue it back together. Negative guilt is when you break the lamp, and then you pin it on your sister. Man, this feels better than packing.

I goofed off all day at the Ren Faire, and pigged out terribly, and got my mom ye olde lavender sacthel, making it all ok.

I personally do not take ZZ Packer's work the same way that this writer does. I don't see the kinda "aaaaw, youse po' white folks have had it soooooo hard, feeling guilty and all....it's all us'n black folks fault. We's not victims at all, no siree' attitude this guy seems to see. I think it's because I have more context. I'm not fighting with myself to justify my own behavior, so I can read about the girl scouts and their starting of a fight because of the rumor of using the n word, not as an indictment of the larger black community, but as of certain black people. Am I making sense? I'm able to section blacks off into parts- these blacks are too radical, these are ok, but whine a bit too much, these are a bit too much blame taking,etc.

I think it's just how our view points are filtered. I think race is important, but this guy acts like the focus of the stories is on race. For example, the story focused on the guy on the debate team is about reconciliation with his father, not this one kid who wants to be in the NBA- that's not the pivot. The girl who is the only black girl in her school, the pivot of the story is her wish to go against her church and be in sit ins. Yes, there is race, and lots of it, but that's not the only thing that's going on. I just think he didn't see the real emphasis of the story. Of course, we all have different filters, and suchlike.

Choice seems to be a great force for evil, nowadays. Basically, we pretend in more choice than there actually exists, so we don't have to work, we don't have to care. These are common ways in which this is distorted:

1)Information- Assuming people have all the information on their choices, and are always fully informed.

2)Assuming the person is always alone. Family factors will push someone towards something that is bad for them, or they might pull them away from something good for them.

3)Thinking there are no limits- For example, being a doctor would benefit me, but I am limited by my math skills and constitution(I need to eat and sleep a lot, or...God, you don't even wanna know)

4)Thinking the situation is always ideal- For example, the idea that noone ever gets caught up in emotion over logic

5)Underestimating survival factors- thinking that the homeless can just get a job, when in fact if you smell bad and have no address, you are less likely to be able to get one

6)Thinking that because you were born on third base, you hit a triple.

7)Just totally ignoring reality in general.

This reminds me of something I see at school once a year. Different people come up, and read off a list of names of Holocaust victims. It's sort of a living memorial to their sacrifice. This sounds sort of selfish, but I wish we knew the names of those who died during slavery. Anyway, it humanizes the people when you hear their names, you realize how many lives were destoryed over silly things(someone having a different religion is *not* a valid reason to kill them). It's pretty sad.

Here's Responsible Shopper to save the day- see who you are supporting with your dollars. That's also another reason I might stop buying clothes from most stores. I mean, maybe an outfit made responsibly is a bit more expensive, but it's not like I need a ton of clothes, so I can afford to pay a little more. It's not like I need a whole new wardrobe every year.

Also, I'm glad I don't need a huge corporate logo on my clothes to feel good about wearing them. I've plugged American Apparel before, and I'll do it again. No logos! Also, I think I'll start trying to sew my own clothes, instead of buying them off the rack. Clothes off the rack rarely fit me anyway.

Also, here is The Switchboards, a forum for women in small businesses.

I have also decided that my wardrobe has enough basic pieces to last me, and that I should curtail my clothes shopping to one or two amazing pieces every few months. Although, I think that I probably will mess up, and buy tons of clothes I don't need. It's a big problem with me, because my parents think I'm a child, and that I grow out of clothing. I don't grow out of clothing. I have clothes from 7th grade. But still they think I need clothes. Craziness!

I have decided that BUST is the magazine I wish I had when I was a teen. Cheerfully feminist scented, there are plenty of uplifting stories, without becoming mush, a refreshing lack of OMG! disasters happened to these teens, so they can happen to YOU stories, also, a lack of makeup and boy tips, and the women kick ass articles seem sincere. They aren't just writing these stories to make the magazine seem less vapid- women do really kick ass in the BUST universe. Maybe my mom would take exception to the 'one handed read' section, but hey, that's what sneaking around is for.

ShadowFae is having a sale, so get the gothic dress you've always wanted from there.

It seems that John Scalzi has been attacked by one of those fake ass 'black conservatives'. I don't mean a black person who thinks that corporate rule is good, blowing other countries makes us safer and that guns are awesome, because those can be valid viewpoints, I mean one of those tired ass blacks who go around talking about how all of us except him/her are just stupid and lazy. It's like come on, dude, are you being constructive at all? Plenty of whites are asshats and don't do like they should, but they never get the whole race scolding.

This particular asshat thinks that just because he's black he can start busting on Hispanics. It's just like, come on, don't totally wholesale buy into that trashy viewpoint. It's like some people if they hear something repeated enough, believe it. Don't be a piece of trash- read a book today.

Here is a game to distract you from how much finals suck. I like the music .

This guy I know is crazy and put up a livejournal, while saying that livejournal is 'gay' since he is in his asshole stage. His writing is readable, don't worry. Also, I won a frilly dress. I note that when you don't have time you have a lot of ideas, but when you have time, you don't.

I finally was able to make a proper afro puff! I washed my hair(I use conditioner) and then scruched some gel in it and then tied down the front of my hair with a scarf. Some hours later, I tied the scarf around some of the hair in back, giving a more pony tail effect. In celebration, here is a nappy hair site.

Although I'm not up to date on fashion, it seems that there's a great frilliness in the air. Wavy short skirts are femininely drifting and swaying, and there seems to be a great amount of frills in general. Maybe this is just me, but I love a nice frilly skirt.

John Scalzi makes some important points on the Hispanic Menace', and really takes the people who believe there is one to task. I agree. I mean, George W Bush's nephew is Hispanic(Jeb's son) and the Bushes seem to be doing just fine to me. I don't see the need to have English as an official language- America has never had an official language to my knowledge, and despite the waves of immigrants speaking everything from Polish to Spanish, English seems to be the de facto language.

Sure, sometimes I hear Koreans conversing in Korean, Hispanics in Spanish, and one Polish girl I know has hear Polish spoken, but they all seem to be able to know enough English to get themselves around. Maybe occasionally I'll run across someone who does not understand English- it's hard to learn a foreign language when you're older, even with immersion.

I'm listening to Redemption Song and think I'm all philosophical because I listened to a Bob Marley song and took a movement improv class. So I was all like, yes, we should all trust our own voices, and be full of bravery. I mean, it's like movement improv class. Everyone learns to unleash their potential and create beautiful things by facing the thing they fear, whether it's people or looking stupid. They learn to trust their selves and have greater power. But then the moment passed, and I thought about how it's really easy to say trust yourself when you're not going to jump into a pool without any water you can see. So like all this BS, it's easy to say, and hard to do. Hard times seem easy when you say the words, but the real ones can make you lose your grip on life.

But I think that movement improvisation is great because it doesn't depend on achievement or buying things. Every day is a new day full of new discoveries, without a bar you can't reach. Even if we have hard time learning the contact improv stuff(I don't think I'll ever learn to support someone using just my feet) we know we're not going to get an F for sucking, so we feel braver and freer to create.

I'm not saying that there's no point in goals, achievement and constraints, but our whole world is made up of that, so it's good to relax.

Lately, I have been gripped by a strange fantasy. I want to wear a very fluffy poofy cute dress like the gothic lolita style dresses I sometimes see in online catologs. Why I have a strange desire for gothic clothing all the sudden, I do not know. Here are some dresses I wouldn't mind owning.

Also, wallpaper of the week. Also, a website on Gothic Lolita style.

Yet more anime excitement! Here is Greenwood is coming to DVD! It seems like all 6 episodes will be on one disk. For $15, you can't lose. Oh, there are so many great anime coming out lately, it's a real boom.

I found out that some episodes of Brother, Dear Brother (Onii-sama E) have been up on Bittorrent. I guess that's not very useful for people who have never seen it at all since it starts from the late thirties episodes, not from episode 1, but it starts right at where I need it to start, because I don't have those episodes on tape. I like animesuki.com because it's not just a site for people who think they deserve free anime, but seems to somewhat adhere to old fansub ethics- i.e. it's to spread anime to those who can't speak Japanese. I also applaud people who fansub older series that might not see the light of day. I don't like it when people fansub series that are near guaranteed to get liscenced- what's the point when you could be showing a whole new world of anime to people, and causing a demand for them to liscience it. Kodomo no Omocha was licensed, and now many other people will be able to enjoy the series because of the demand. This doesn't mean "Man, they are getting a lot of money off of me downloading Cowboy Bebop" because more demand isn't caused by people who think they deserve free anime.

I think licensing is important because anime is a group effort sort of thing that needs money to be produced. If no more money, no more anime. The licensing fees anime companies pay in the US help make more anime in Japan. Also, some anime companies in the US actually finance new anime in Japan. Prices are getting lower and lower too, so there's really not that much excuse to whine about price. There are resources like dvdpricesearch.com to help you get the cheapest anime possible. I don't have any money. I have to buy anime when there are sales, or get used anime(but beware of bootleggers, I mean, if you're going to rip off anime, why are you paying for it?) or borrow anime, but you don't see me acting like I'm entitled to my hobby of looking at cartoons, for god's sake.

In other news, I think animesuki is a bit quick to put torrents of SM back up, yes, the liscence is expiring, but it just seems too soon. I think they should put Stars up because that is never coming to the US, but is a really good season.

It seems that the Yuricon folks have started offering another book. I'm curious to see if it's real lesbian manga, or just straight guy titillation stuff. By real lesbian manga, I mean, it's more than just GIRL ON GIRL LOL OMG!! but talks more about the real emotions and feelings of lesbians. Bitch magazine had a good article on how just showing lesbians kissing for male titillation isn't furthering any deep acceptance of lesbianism. There's nothing wrong with males getting horny, but it shouldn't be confused for any deep social consciousness.

This is very interesting page, and while I agree that we should all vigorously protest against such extremists, it's a few crazy profs on the fringes, making up a bunch of bull and shit that noone listens to. I'm sure this guy understands that white racism is very widespread and accepted, and that's why we focus on it. Well, I didn't have anything useful to say, but wanted to show the site.

Although this may be a sort of geographical thing. For example, I have actually heard that people know that conservatives are full of shit. In the South, people fully believe that blacks, women and gays , and atheists are stealing their power, and they are oppressed, because they deserve everything. We shouldn't even pay attention to those other groups- they just don't count. They do not have the birth right of power.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but HELLOOOOOOOOO! There is NO race that *deserves* the sort of power that comes from such a color caste. I hear people decrying the system of castes in India, and I'm sure the people in the higher castes have a nice bag of excuses for why the lower castes should be oppressed.

Carol Lay is selling prints over $20 at 20% off if you email her at lay at waylay.com. So if you ever wanted some comic art from her, that's the way to go. However, I wish she had a book of her comic strips, so I could tote them around.

I don't feel like working, so I'll ask some questions about the white desire for victimhood. This has been going on since 1994(or possibly longer), as the whole angry white male movement ran around. Their premise was they weren't getting enough special treatment, all the other groups were getting more rights, and god damn it, they were victims too. This makes no sense to me, but I think my feeling about victimhood is that it should be tied to objective reality. Some Blacks feel aggrieved because black concerns are given short shrift, and thought of as less important than white concerns. For example, noone ever is like God, those money grubbing Jews, with their reparations for the Holocaust! Well, if anyone is, they'd be laughed at the stage. Many gays wish they were allowed to marry, they want the same rights as everyone else.

So I don't see how if you're having all the power and having everyone believe your concerns are more important is really discrimination. I guess it's really a fear of the loss of power, even if there is not such a big loss of power. To me, people can share power. It's not gotta be one group hogs all of it, you know? I mean, if Asians want to be empowered, I'm all for it.

I guess society does put a lot of emphasis on 0 sum competition, but maybe instead of fighting each other over scraps, we need to rethink our paradigm, you know?

That brings me back to something I have been thinking about lately. I'm in my college impasse. I can't be like fuck society! and I can't really join society. If you're like fuck society, you're still controlled by society, by your opposition. And society has only so many places, so there's no joining it. I'm sure the dilemena will be resolved, but god, it bothers me.

Still on the main topic, I just don't see why they covet victimhood so much. Yes, the media does exagerate making people think that people just take black crack addicts off the street and shower them with money, but I mean, come on, do these people have NO contact with reality at all? Is this willful denial? What is it?

Bookslut has been updated. Read this piece especially, I nearly peed my pants it was so funny.

I don't have much use for competition. It seems pretty empty- you win, and then, that's all? Not to mention, competition is soulless, winning is all, all other considerations fall to the wayside. I live in a pretty competitive society. If you're just average, you're not good enough, and things are pretty cutthroat. I do not know what to do. On the one hand, I don't want to be in a perpetual unwinnable race, racing to catch up to people with tons of headstarts and who have been doping, and on the other, I'd rather prefer not to eat cat food. There has to be a middle ground, but I don't know.

A note about heterosexual Men Who Hate Women(they sure ain't nice). They never get any play. You know why? It has nothing to do with an international female conspiracy to date only outlaw bikers. Noone wants to date someone who hates them, and thinks they are golddigging whores. Also, anyone who groups all women, in their infinite variety into one group(with like 3 billion people in it!) based on what one chick did to him in like sixth grade isn't exactly the nicest guy around, you know?

Even girls get in on the action. In my college newspaper, a totally stupid editorial was run being like oh, we only like bad guys. I wanted to be like that's YOUR opinion, there are plenty of girls who aren't total twits. Unfortunately, those girls have already been punished enough. By bizarre coincidence one of the people who committed suicide lately (the other was a librarian) referred to the editorial in his AIM away message before he died. So they have been punished. Also, a countereditoiral was written by one of the guys' friends.

The thing is that women aren't a monolithic entity. We have different tastes in guys. I like a sweeter guy(I notice that girls dating sweet guys tend to have more stable relationships too) and some may like an asshole. Although, some might be looking in the wrong place for a girl- for example if you meet a chick at the club, she might just be out for a good time, you know? And an 'exciting' guy and the 'drama' of all that shit might turn her on. But only if she's fucked in the head.

Announcing my new blog, Button Maker's Ball. It includes all sorts of infomation on button making. Check it out!

This is a pretty sweet tool- you can see all the negs and neuts someone got on ebay without having to read through hundreds of comments. Although a word of caution, some will left a positive, but with a negative comment.

This is a year in which my lack of money has been a real problem. What with Hana Yori Dango, Freaks and Geeks, and all the other great things coming out, and my inability to get any of them, I feel pretty sad on the anime count. I can't even buy used nowadays. However, it seems that next year and the year after that will be similarly problematic, what with Kodomo No Omacha and Princess Tutu licensed(by Funimation and ADV respectively).

I think that poetry doesn't have to be deciphered in the way they teach you in schools to be enjoyed. Yes, it gives you a richer appreciation of it if you analyze it deeply, but even just reading a poem and understanding what it means to you can be a rich experience. Because a poem is not about getting the 'right' answer, it's about extracting meaning from beautiful words- your own meanings are usually the ones that are most potent to you. I half remember a poem by Nikki Giovanni- some lines were before our mettle is tested we easily consider ourselves strong/before discovering our children want not elaborate things/(I forget a line here)/it's easy to say what should have been done. Even in my incorrect paraphase, I feel that this resonates in my life. It truly is easy to lay blame and not consider what's really going on.

Something that confuses me is how we dash to lay blame, even though that won't help the problem. A girl is crying because her boyfriend is a cad. We say "You choose him, deal with it"(blame on her) or "He's a jerk anyway"(placing the blame on him) but does that help the situation at all? Does it really matter who is wrong and who is right when we're in the middle of a fight?

But back to poetry, just enjoy it. If you find you don't like one poet, try another. Just enjoy it.

This song is great. Too bad we don't have political songs nowadays. Maybe a politician will grab a pop song as his theme, but it's not the same as having a song all for you. Although, I think the whole "If you don't vote for John Kerry, we're all going to die" tone of the song would make this a not so good song for Kerry nowadays, maybe in the days of John Quincy Adams, this was a good rabble rouser, I don't know.

Ornicus covers the recent atrocities in Iraq, and compares them to the lynching of blacks. I can see what he is saying- we need to examine ourselves also. We can't just say "those other people over there are animals! The only language they speak is violence!" or in the case of the lynchings "Don't try to make me feel guilty! I had nothing to do with it!". I believe that everyone has the possibility that they will participate in some inhuman, brutal act. Sure, everyone has the possibility to do good and wonderful things, but the former is more likely. It's not just the Iraqis that are 'animals', we are 'animals' too, and we have to realize that. Even with the lynching photos, I am black and identify with the victims, but I also find myself asking- would I have gone along with it if I was white? What would I have thought they had done?

Because the truth is that even if others have done nothing, we'll think of reasons to justify our violence. The people in Iraq think 'they are Americans, they have stolen our country" even if we really thought that we were doing good. The whites thought the blacks were a threat to them, wrongly, of course- it wasn't a physical threat- it was a mental one- fear of losing their dominance. I gripe about whiny neocons, but at least I'm glad they keep their strong fear of losing dominance to mere whining and bitching instead of violence.

So, we come to an impasse- how do we know our reasons for violence aren't us merely trying to rationalize the desire? Um..I actually have no idea. Maybe more study will reveal the answer.

Apparently Margaret Cho has a clothing line. Although I can't wear the clothes, they are nice. Aside about not being able to wear the clothes- I'm a size 0 to 5- for men, the key to understanding is that some clothes lines have huge size 0s, and other lines have tiny fives, and plus, different parts of my body are different sizes- dress sizes are smaller, and pants sizes are bigger. To understand this, imagine how a woman is built- the hips are the roundest part. Anyway, I meant to say Margaret Cho kicks my ass, but I spent most of the time being a self absorbed navel gazer.

Today, I went to Oxford Comics for the first time. (I don't have exact directions, but it's on Piedmont, near the Lindberg Plaza). I was in love. Yes, there were the shitty bootlegs, the demeaning action figures(Lady Death posing, showing her full breasts for you and you only it seems in the geek mind), and large arguments over some superhero minutia. But there were also clearly marked shelves of graphic novels marked by place of orgin(independant, superhero, and manga) and tons of comics. It seemed that every comic you could ever want was there, I even noticed some very slick minis being sold.

There was a small porn comics section- and it had Small Favors in it! I wanted it all, but I could only have one, so I picked Death of Speedy(yes, Oxford has a nice big selection of Love and Rockets), which I haven't read yet, because anticipation is sweeter if you wait. I read Cariature (bought on impulse at college bookstore), after keeping it a day or so. It was a sweet thing to read while waking up(I was and am very tired, this whole weekend was an anime lockin.) and I think that waiting made the stories seem even more poignant. I love Clowe's ugly drawing style. It's a wonder, I also like the Hernandez' Brothers Betty and Veronica(my first comics) inspired style. Oh, I love many different styles.

How to be a good eBay Buyer:

1)Usually the people selling are individuals, not giant corporations, so before you snap off your indigent email(example: YOU FUCKING CROOK!, the shipping was $5! I bet if you put it in an unpadded envelope and shipped my widget to me that way, it'd be $3!), take their capabilities into mind. A person on their own usually can not refund you because you didn't like the color.

2)Read The TOS, and don't try to make up your own. The TOS are tailored by the seller to what they can or can not do. By reading this, you'll know if you can just pop off a credit card payment or if you need to send a money order. You'll also know how much shipping is.

3)Know Thine Shipping. Some sellers jack up the shipping price, so always look for the shipping price, and see if that's what you want to pay.

4)Use your Negs. The right place to use your negs is NOT when a seller denies some unreasonable request that isn't in their TOS(Neg: He wouldn't let me drive to his house, and pick it up! It's only 500 miles!), or when you have buyer's remorse, or didn't like the color. It's reserved for serious things, like seller took your money, didn't give you an item, and cussed you out when you politely asked 'Did you ship my item"? Feedback should be factual and courteous. Noone can tell whether you're telling the truth when you're yelling CROOK! IDIOT! SCAMMER!,etc, because for all the reader knows, you could be out of your mind. If his emails were rude, merely put rude emails.

5)Read your emails- if a seller gives you an email, pointing out a problem(they shipped the wrong item, but then figured out their mistake and got you the right one), read it. Don't neg because you didn't read

5)eBay is a two way street- the buyer also has responsibilities- to pay promptly, to read the TOS, and to be polite if any problems pop up.

Wallpaper of the week. SFW

If any of my blog readers are in the Atlanta area, please see below for an important article on something near and dear to my heart- the MARTA. I don't have a car, and also, I don't like pollution so public transportation is important. Sure, I may be too nervous to jump on a bus and get lost in a strange city, but people who do not have such bizarre mental issues need to get to work. Note: Following Text is an email from the Sierra Club, etc,etc.

ACTION ALERT      Rally to Save MARTA!     Volunteers Needed
 
SC&BEER Friends: Catherine Ross, former chair of GRTA, spoke eloquently at last Wednesday’s Sierra Club and Beer of the need to fully fund MARTA and other transit projects around Atlanta. From air pollution to equity to a sense of community—MARTA is extremely important to the fabric of Atlanta. Her timing was impeccable. This week service cuts were announced in all but 17 routes for MARTA buses. MARTA is facing a funding crisis that could lead to a forty percent cut in service over the next three years. As Ross said, “MARTA is literally dying on the vine.” Please join the efforts to save MARTA:
 
*Citizens for Progressive Transit kick-off for “Save MARTA” campaign
Thursday, April 1st
6:00 pm
Old Councils Chamber in Atlanta City Hall
55 Trinity Ave, S.W.
Atlanta, GA
Brief presentation on why MARTA is threatened, why MARTA should be preserved and what you can do to help.
 
 
*Starting Wednesday, April 14th
MARTA public meetings on service cuts
Evening meetings: place, time TBA
Volunteers needed to attend press conference and speak about how important MARTA is to our community. Please e-mail natalie.foster(at)sierraclub.org if interested.
 
 
*As smog alerts become serious this summer, more attention will be paid to the importance of transit. If you can’t make either of ithese events but are interested in volunteering during the summer months, please contact natalie.foster(at)sierraclub.org 
More Background:
 
How the Bush Administration weakens progress towards building environmental communities:
 
The current Bush Administration proposal on transportation would decrease funding available for transit while increasing money available for roads.  This would create a perverse incentive for localities to build new roads, not new transit. In addition, the Administration's proposal keeps overall transit funding stagnant at 20 percent of total surface transportation dollars, while 80 percent of surface transportation dollars goes to roads, which is imbalanced. This also means that wealthier communities that can afford to pay will have a better shot at getting transit than poorer communities that need public transportation the most.More information found at http://www.sierraclub.org/sprawl/.
 
 
 How the state of Georgia causes an unfair burden on Atlanta:
 
Fulton and DeKalb tax payers have been paying an extra penny sales tax to fund transit for over thirty years with no help from the State of Georgia.  Meanwhile all the suburban counties receive state funding for their road programs.  MARTA is a regional system providing service to people from many counties without regard to whether they help pay the sales tax for the system.  Georgia is one of only ten states not providing financial support for urban transit systems.  It is long past time for the State of Georgia to support urban transit service like they support nearly every other mode of transportation.
 
Press Release for Thursday Event:
 
Citizens for Progressive Transit Announces Kick-Off of
“Save MARTA” Campaign
 
On April 1st, 2004 Citizens for Progressive Transit (CPT) will launch the “Save
MARTA” Campaign. The meeting will be held at the Old Council Chambers in Atlanta
City Hall (55 Trinity Avenue, S.W., Atlanta, GA) at 6:00pm. There will be a brief
presentation on why MARTA service is threatened, why MARTA service should be
preserved, how MARTA service can be preserved and what individuals and organizations
can do to help “Save MARTA”.
“Regional funding is the key to any transportation system”, said Chris Wyczalkowski,
President of Citizens for Progressive Transit, “MARTA is running out of operating funds
and without a solution we will see major service cutbacks phased in over the next year.”
The Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority currently delivers public transportation
service to a service area of almost 500 square miles and averages one-half million riders
daily. MARTA operates 125 bus routes and 47.6 miles of rail making it the largest transit
agency in the Atlanta area. It is the backbone from which all other transit services radiate.
MARTA operates one of the largest clean fuel bus fleets in the country in a region that
has already lost its federal transportation dollars once by failing to meet federal air
quality standards. MARTA is the ninth largest transit agency in the country and is the
largest to receive no state operating funds.
Citizens for Progressive Transit is Atlanta’s independent, grassroots transit advocacy
organization with a mission to promote comprehensive, long-term improvements to
public transit in the greater Atlanta area. CPT represents the riders of public
transportation, those whose voice is often left out in the transportation policy-making
process. Citizens for Progressive Transit’s motto is “Putting the public back in public
transportation.” CPT is a member of the National Alliance of Public Transportation
Advocates, a national organization representing grassroots coalitions that support
increasing the investment in public transportation.
 
 
MARTA plans 15% cutback in bus service
 
By JULIE B. HAIRSTON
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 03/25/04
 
MARTA plans to cut bus service by 15 percent this summer.
 
 
In restructuring the bus routes, the transit authority expects to eliminate 304 jobs and $11 million in expenses in the most sweeping change to MARTA service in more than 20 years.
 
And the cuts may be only the beginning of the public transit system's efforts to stem the flow of red ink in its $308 million operating budget.
 
MARTA expects to pull $30 million out of its dwindling reserves to run the trains and buses this year. Without cutting expenses or adding revenue, MARTA may use the last of its financial reserves as soon as 18 months from now.
 
Even as transit officials brace for a flood of criticism, MARTA board Chairman Michael Walls warned that even more cuts may be needed. An additional 10 percent reduction in service that may be required next year would be felt more directly by MARTA riders, he said.
 
"If something is not done before next year, the cuts will be more meaningful and more severe on our riders," Walls said.
 
MARTA also may consider increasing the current $1.75 basic fare if the system continues to lose money past fiscal 2006, the chairman said.
 
MARTA leaders will present their budget proposal to the board of directors Monday and outline the changes in bus routes.
 
The plan calls for eliminating four routes, combining others, removing stops that produce few riders and shortening hours on some runs. At present, 75 of MARTA's 125 bus routes run after midnight.
 
"A lot of those buses run empty," said Thelma Purnell, MARTA director of transit planning. Running empty buses costs $1.32 per mile, or $31 an hour, she added.
 
MARTA officials have been studying the bus routes for more than seven months, according to Purnell.
 
Overlapping cited
 
Over the years, MARTA officials said, bus routes have not always reflected changing land use and population shifts. In some cases, new lines have overlapped routes with waning ridership. Transit officials say the reconfiguration of bus routes will cover most of the stops with a minimum of vehicles.
 
"You may not have the same bus you're used to riding, but you're at least going to be within a quarter-mile of a MARTA bus," said General Manager Nathaniel Ford.
 
Even transit advocates acknowledge that MARTA's route structure is long overdue for an overhaul.
 
"With land use changing as fast as it is in the city, a lot of the routes don't make sense anymore," said Paul Grether, spokesman for Citizens for Progressive Transit, a transit riders' advocacy group. "We're hoping the resources that have been applied to these nonproductive routes can be redirected to routes with higher ridership potential."
 
On April 1, Citizens for Progressive Transit will launch what it's calling a "Save MARTA" campaign with a 6 p.m. meeting in the old City Council chambers at Atlanta City Hall. The organization is calling for new state or regional operating funds for MARTA, which receives no such revenue from the state.
 
Local funding for MARTA is provided by a 1 percent sales tax in Fulton and DeKalb counties and the city of Atlanta.
 
Public outcry expected
 
The authority has cut 727 jobs from its payroll in the past three years, according to Ford. The proposed reductions in service this summer will cut more than 300 drivers, mechanics and other workers. MARTA employs about 4,500 people.
 
Danny G. DuBose, acting president of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 732, declined comment on the pending job cuts.
 
The authority anticipates a wave of protest from the public.
 
"We do expect quite a few folks to be uncomfortable with this," Ford said. "We understand this is going to have a significant impact on people's lives and we're going to make it the best we can."
 
Helen McSwain, director of MARTA customer relations, said workers are anticipating as many as 2,000 additional calls a day as the service cuts are phased in. Customer service workers now get about 6,000 calls a day, she said.
 
Public hearings on the proposed changes in bus service will be conducted April 14, 15 and 16 at various locations in Fulton and DeKalb counties. A final decision is set to be made in June when MARTA officials adopt the fiscal 2005 budget. The new routes are expected to begin June 26.
 
Riders complain
 
Route 135 is one of 17 that will be eliminated or absorbed into other lines during the restructuring. Running six days a week, the North Shallowford bus snakes through suburban Dunwoody from the Chamblee MARTA station.
 
Dunwoody resident Ramon McCray, 42, said he rides the 135 "every single day" to get to his job at a furniture store, to the Veterans Affairs Hospital and to shopping for basics, including groceries. He said getting to any other MARTA bus routes would be a long walk for him.
 
"I paid my extra fare every time they raised it because I had confidence in their structure," McCray said. "If I'd known MARTA was going to do this, I'd never have moved to this area."
 
James Murphy, 50, hauled four large bags of groceries onto the 135 on Tuesday afternoon. He said he moved to the Dunwoody area from Snellville in December specifically because it offered a level of public transportation not available in Gwinnett County.
 
"If they cut this line, I'll have to move somewhere else," Murphy said.
 
Artesia Gates said this will be the second time she's been stung by MARTA. Previous changes in bus service forced Gates, then living in Stone Mountain, to get up at 3 a.m. to catch a bus to work, she said.
 
If the 135 route is canceled, she could be facing a $120 daily cab ride to work.
 
Little impact forecast
 
MARTA officials said only a small percentage of the 225,000 average daily riders will experience a noticeable change in their access to the system.
 
"The number that will be severely impacted is less than one-half of 1 percent," said Barry Farr, assistant general manager for operations.
 
"We've tried to avoid touching our customers [with cuts] for three years," said Ford.
 
Chairman Walls said he hopes the reductions in service will underscore the transit system's importance to hundreds of thousands of riders in metro Atlanta.
 
"We can't continue to go in the hole until all our reserves are gone," Walls said. "I hope the local metropolitan political establishment will let this be a wake-up call for what needs to be done to give MARTA adequate funding."
 

I have found a strange quirk in my personality, and in the spirit of navel gazing, I will talk about it. I am not scared about doing movement improv in public. I am frightened of approaching people I don't know, or even worse of talking to people I have seen around, but don't know that well. But looking like an idiot in front of the entire school? No problem. I guess it's because I tend not to notice people around, I tend to be so focused on what I'm doing, so the focus is not on the scary people, but on the dance.

Also, about the tragic events of today. If one feels like it, maybe it would be appropiate to say a little prayer for the soldiers, contractors, and Iraqis that have died in this war. If one is not religious, contemplating the futility of their deaths, and the waste of good life that represents will suffice.

Thinking about reparations makes me depressed. It reminds me of the millions of lives lost, the millions of talents wasted, the millions of lives made unhappy or stunted when if the evil of slavery and the subsequent Jim Crow laws had never existed, would have been ok. Nothing can repay the cost. Even the money some Jews received for the Holocaust can never repay their pain and suffering. Many people don't even understand the magnitude of this, and I can't explain it. I mean, it's really hard to imagine a million people, and the people who died because of slavery were millions and millions. And just imagine their lives snuffed out like a candle for profit. Imagine even more millions unable to use their talents, told to hate themselves, and that they were inferior, for profit, so that some dudes could feel superior.

I could not even understand how anyone could not be effected, that anyone could dismiss these feelings as 'silly' or not important. It's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes, I guess. I remember a exhibit of lynching photos, and my embarrassing reaction was to be glad I wasn't white. I would have felt an even deeper shame then. I'm aware we're all brothers in the human race, but due to the enviroment I live in I tend to identify more with the victims, hung up like sides of meat for everyone to see. I don't really identify with the smiling faces in the crowd, smiling, but their lives must have been corrupted- it just seems impure to me to witness a murder.

This reminds me of the subtext of Kindred, which is that slavery corrupts everyone. All the slaveowners in this book are ruined by a moral corruption that overtakes them. The power structure in itself is enough to cause a corruption of morals. Is this effect really slavery's own punishment? No clue.

Now this is simply dangerous. Our mania to make everyone the same weight has gone too far. Weight Loss Surgery is major surgery, with all the possible complications that go with surgery. Now they are cutting up children who don't even have any weight related health complaints. Maybe we should teach our kids to act like they have some sense(if the teasing behavior wasn't encouraged, they'd stop), encourage better school lunch menus(not pizza every day like they had when I was coming up), get the kids eating varied healthy foods, not fad diets, just lots of fruits and veggies, wheat breads and lean proteins, encourage non competitive movement(if it's a big production every time you don't win, you're not going to want to do it) for our children. Have the whole family go for a walk. Just don't have their stomachs stapled for god's sake!

If you're an Ebay seller, you need to read this thread. Sometimes people will buy something, and not pay for it, and just cussing them out in feedback isn't going to get them removed. You need to submit a non paying bidding report, and then ten days after, ask for a final value fee credit. If the buyer gets this three times, they are off ebay, and out of people's hair.

About this article on the Believer and its supposed incestuousness. On one hand, I'd like to be able to say- Yes! all written works should be published based on talent, not on who knows who! On the other hand, who am I kidding? Submissions editors get hammered from all sides by mostly unreadable mush- it's probably comforting to read something by someone who you can at least think can string together a fairly grammatically correct sentence, and knows that your Home and Garden magazine isn't the place for poorly written erotic fanfic about 7 of 9 and her tits.

I just found out that Coffee Will Make You Black has a sequel, and I'm psyched. But I have a dileimna, should I buy it used or new? On one hand, buying it used would be better for the pocket book, on the other hand, shouldn't I support authors bringing different perspectives into the world? I mean, even if a million people were getting it used, the sales figures would only show the people who got it new, and that's who counts when making detriminations about what they should buy next.

Also, this leads me into more confusing territory- namely, what does one owe to their community? On one hand, I could be like "Just because we have similar skin colors doesn't mean we have an obligation to each other" and there's a certain logic in that- blacks are very diverse people, and just because two people are black doesn't nessicarily mean they have anything in common with each other. Onthe other hand, it's pretty isolating to not believe in a sembalance of community- blacks seem to have always gone to their greatest victory by being unified instead of being like "I've got mine, now you get yours". It reminds me of something I heard(don't think I'm preaching this as the gospel truth, I just heard it) is that members of certain ethnic groups(in this version it's Koreans, in another, it may be something else) band together so that members of that certain community have enough to build buisnesses on and such.

I'm not sure if the story is true or not, but if it was, I can see how that would be a bit more successful than everyone floundering around alone hoping to scrape up cash alone.

I'm way late on this, but still, here is the March issue of Sequential Tart. There's a very good article on how comics fans often forget the growth in the comics fan base caused by manga by making up a bunch of excuses, as if manga isn't real comics. Comics fans should embrace the growth- those manga fans are going to be the ones who continue to make comics in the years after the older generation is off to the senior home. I do have some problems with this roundtable mostly it's a rehash of the same old comics aren't for kids/boys stuff, but the last comment especially gets on my nerves. How is this mother an 'idiot' for not knowing that manga goes the other way? She's never encountered it in her life. Also, I'd like to note that while I like strong plucky heroines in manga, there's plenty of room for other representations- the problem comes in when the only thing you see is one side. It's just as one sided if all women are super geniuses, than if they are all idiots.

I was reading this, and this guy is right- blame and responsibility are often confused. People say 'responsibility' when they mean blame. Blame is a very negative thing- it's pretty much a punishment and a way to justify selfish behavior. If it's all your fault, well, I don't have any responsibility to help you. If it's all your fault, well, you simply deserve to be belittled. But responsibility is something different- it's not just "well, I felt like saying you were bad so I didn't have to help anyone", it's like how the mom has a responsibility to take care of the baby. It's not a big stamp that others put on her, it comes from her, organically.

In other news, I think that instead of signing a web petition that noone cares about, they should write letters to the FCC and have them delivered by mail. But noone listens to me.

My theories on why people are assholes:

In general: People in childhood see assholic(i.e. bullying behavior) being rewarded by greater popularity, and there's no punishment for it, so they think it's a good way of getting through life. That many adults(while I am 19, I'm not a full adult) have just now figured out that bullies are the popular kids blows my mind. Like where were they during our entire childhoods?

In customer service: People hear the lie 'the customer is always right' and think that any behavior on their part is justified. I mean, when they throw a tanturm in the middle of the store, they get free stuff, etc, just to appease them. Also, stores are really crowded and people usually are in them after they have gotten out of traffic which makes them stressed and more likely to fly off the handle.

Today I used my social skills to reassure someone. I feel that this would be a good example of what to do. The girl said Do we really have to dance in front of everyone? (she seemed concerned). I said "Well, very few people care about the inauguration of a new University President" Others went on to say "Yea, like, noone will be there" and so the girl was reassured.

What I did: I did not act like her concerns were stupid "Who even gets nervous about stuff like that?", I instead attempted to address her concern(that she would be embarrassed in public) Neither did I say "Get over it, you'll have to do it anyway". That is a poor way of handling someone who wants reassurance. Why? Because her concerns are rebuffed, and you also indicate that you personally don't care about her feelings.

This is just a small portion of the ways that you can learn not to be a giant jerk.

"We are not judges. We are not called upon to torture our fellows with thumbscrews and irons; we are not called to mount pulpits and lecture them on pale Sunday afternoons" - Neville, The Waves, p.196.

I especially like the part of this quotation which says that we are not called upon to torture our fellows with thumbscrews and irons. I like to cuss and yell and rant on this blog, but I am fully aware that thems who need it, won't read it, so I can say what I like. I do not understand the thought processes of others, tho. Do others feel guilty all by themselves, and just assume that everyone else needs help, or do they not feel any, and so think others need the help they need? Like if I get a bad grade on a test, I already feel bad about it, I've already said I was stupid, I've already worried about whether I worked hard enough, all this before I told someone else about it, so I don't need to go over those steps again.

I was reading the book The Best of Emerge Magazine, and I think there should be a Best of Bitch Magazine- over 50% of the issues are out of print, and Bitch magazine has some of the best feminist discourse that I personally have seen in magazine form. It would be a shame to relegate that to chasing down the occasional back issue on Ebay. Maybe there should be a letter writing campaign- people who have the commitement to write letters tend to not just be writing things for the fun of it, and it would be instrumental in convincing them that an audience exists for a Best Of, instead of just a few net kooks with wet dreams. Here is Bitch's address if you are convinced:

Bitch Magazine
1611 Telegraph Avenue, Suite 515
Oakland, CA 94612

A bizarrely common belief is that people are all powerful and all knowing. Take people who think there is no such thing as bad luck. How would that even work in a world in which humans do not have these powers- if you can't see a can in the road, you'll trip, if you can not predict the stock market with perfect accuracy, you might get a bad investment, etc,etc. So much is outside human control- we can try to tame the forces of chance, but we can't really control them. So unexpected things will happen all the time, and of course, some of those unexpected things will be bad.

Another bizarre common belief is that people who bad things happen to are bad people. An interesting example that was presented in my Psych class was that some guy had written a letter to the editor saying that Jody Foster's Hollywood debauchery was to blame for John Hinckely Jr's shooting of President Reagan- that if she had only played pure and wholesome roles on the screen, Hinckley wouldn't have used her as a focus of psychosis. That of course, is BS on the face. How is an actress going to know whether a mentally unstable person sees a film and becomes obsessed? Everything we do could possibly have negative consequences, which is of course how people(especially those who get off on hurting others) make up infinite reasons to blame people for things they certainly could not have foretold.

Hi, I'm back. My computer blew up and all sorts of horrid things happened(OMG!!! WHAT IF I GET A B- ON MY CC MENTAL HEALTH PAPER AGAIN!!!! type bad things, I mean), but I am alright. I will continue to be annoyed at the Republican club at my school which pisses me off. Like they are going to say the BSA is wrong for being like hey, profs should not use racial slurs, but then whine because they didn't get a $5000 handout to see David Horowitz speak *again*. I mean, if I was a welfare mom and I needed to buy my kids some new sneakers, I'd be told to get a job, and not look for a handout, so why are they looking for handouts from their College Council?

Fun, it seems that some people who are simply unable to deal with the fact that America is changing in a mature and sensible way have started to bomb people. I dislike these tantrums. Yes, they are horrid and hurt innocent people, but what they really are are tantrums. They can't deal with change, they feel threatened and frightened and try to pin it on the other. Not the people who are the real reasons they are not successful- not the ones who cut taxes for the schools or outsourced the jobs or broke federal law so they could hire labor a little cheaper. You never see them protesting them, all they can do is hurt some people for no reason. This isn't going to make their lives any better. This isn't going to make anything good happen for them.

We're all hung on the same tree. While they are trying to stick it to the black man for whatever reason, they are the ones being hurt by the real culprits. My basic meaning is that they are being complicit in any oppression(too strong a word. Maybe I mean minor nuisances, but does that really match with complict? Then again maybe I should do counter point) they may encounter. They never question the underlying problems, just surface stuff like worrying about people who don't look like them. I mean, rethinking the assumption that this is a zero sum game and that two people can't be happy at the same time would revolutionize their world way more than any violence could. Too bad they haven't thought about it.

I should try to be less judgmental, but I feel like fuck it. If they didn't want to be judged they'd not send bombs to people's offices. I don't like Bush, but I'm able to not be a freaking terrorist. Someone could have died, and for what? Because some asshats can't stop peeing in their knickers enough to read a book? Like screw that! This isnt the Third World- we can find peaceful solutions.

For example, the gays getting married now are starting a revolution, and they aren't doing it with guns and bombs. I'm not saying that guns and bombs don't have a place in this world- I'm saying that they are the last resort, when you are actually threatened. Not in a "Oh no, it's all the black people's fault I didn't get into Harvard" kinda way, but in a 'this guy's gonna rape my behind and then kill me" kinda way

I never got that man is head of the woman like Christ is head of the church stuff. When I go into a Missionary Baptist church, guess who I see mostly? Girls and women! Who do I see doing most of the work? Girls and women! But they usually only occupy subordinate positions. Crazy shit. This church stuff never makes any sense to me at all.

This woman is totally rocking my ass off. I like the idea of women going up and raising the cry and creating a new culture of body acceptance for themselves and others. While I know that media images have an effect, if we all stood up and said "No, that's not what we want!" maybe it would change. For example, let's talk about my favorite time period- the whole Civil Rights thing. They said NO to oppression and NO to brutality. Sure, there's still a lot of it around, but merely saying no, we won't go along with this (by saying I mean kinda a mix between saying and doing, but don't have the words) a bit of that tyranny is deleted. For example, I say no, I'm not paying fifty bucks every month to try to attain a beauty standard that doesn't inculde me. Maybe a few more people are given the courage to say no, and maybe it'll have a snowball effect. Or maybe not, I don't know.

To avoid writing about Erec and Enide, I have decided to talk about Naruto. Naruto teaches children the hard lessons in life- namely, that while hard work and determination may get you far, it's much better to actually not be terrible at what you are doing. For example, Rock Lee works hard, as the ten billion flash backs illustrate. He's filled with burning passion and has a secret technique. Yet, he doesn't win. Guess why? Because he doesn't have the strength to defeat his opponent. It's weird seeing a kid's show tell the truth. I'm not saying that we should just lay around in the muck, but seriously, millions work hard every day- they do our dirtiest hardest, most low paying jobs, but they aren't successful. For example, let's think of migrant workers. They were born in the wrong country, so now they get paid slave labor wages to pick strawberries. How can you blame them for this at all? I can't see how anything could even think of blaming the people who carry our country on their backs because they aren't as rich as the lazy trust fund babies living the high life at Yale.

Moveon.org is asking for people to donate time and money to defeating George Bush. If you think George Bush is taking this country in the wrong direction, don't just talk, do something. Even a person who sucks like me is selling anti bush campaign buttons and stuff.So work hard to shave that bush!

Things that piss me off inculde knob slobbing, beautific depictions of the past without blacks. Like people will be full of nostalgia for the antebellum south, or something, and then wonder why I am ticked. I think it's because in that nostaglia, there's a bit of desire to return to that world- a world where I do not exist as a human being with rights, where I am considered an animal, an interloper. A big problem is that social consciousness has a learning curve. You have to read books, you have to be intellectually curious, you have to be anything but a mere passive observer of the social realities you create. This takes time away from staring at the motherfucking boob tube, so most people don't learn anything, but they think they can! Fuck them!

In more cheerful news, here's a site about a film about plus size models. Buy a tape- support small cinema! Also, stop prisoner rape- freed prisoners can transmit the HIV they catch from getting raped to their wives and girlfriends causing a deadly epidemic of AIDS. We don't like that sort of thing, so help stop it