There's a lot of discussion about student movements, white people, and also anarchists. As a person who is not any help at all, I agree with the person who said that no group is essentially revolutionary. Personally, I've retired as a revolutionary, and what I am struggling with is mostly the mystery of why I have had two epic bouts of throwing up in a week.

Article about campus rape on NPR. I'd like to note that not all college students drink the whole week and never actually work. I personally had to study really hard in college. Now, some people will be like BUT THE HOOK UP CULTURE IS GREAT! SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT! RAH! But the truth is that a lot of predators use it as an excuse for their actions. They'll say "Oh, we were BOTH DRUNK, and anyway she just REGRETTED IT in the morning". And of course, that sort of scene provides them perfect cover. The heavy drinking means they can not only attack victims more easily, but also make an excuse for their actions. The expectation of sexual activity means that not only can the experienced predator manipulate the victim into things she might not be comfortable with[as a big meanie who hates men and sex, just because she's ok with making out doesn't mean she wants to go anal!], but they can also try to shame the woman for thinking she could have some fun without some asshole ruining everything by raping her.

And no, commenters, more prostitution would NOT help. In a place where we got cops raping prostitutes, I really don't believe that prostitution helps reduce rape at all. If the men need sexual release so much, they can use their hands.

And here's a chinese cultural concept that does not seem translatable. I just like linking.

Also, some insano says that if we don't beat the children with the rod, they'll be terrible people. A Christian lady is shocked.

I'm still going bwuh about the assumption that everyone is in the same model of WE MUST HAVE SEX EVERY THREE MINUTES OR WE'LL DIE! Now, when I don't have sex, maybe I'm vaguely horny. I'll masturbate. But it's not as deep as everyone represents it like. And I'm glad to be child free. I was innocently looking at facebook, and this lady was like "My baby is finally sleeping through the night." Aw,right? Then I realized that this lady's kid is NEARLY A YEAR OLD! And I hear that babies screaming through the night for that long isn't that unusual either. So when people ask when I'm going to get married and use my baby maker, I say hahaha, no.

BTW! If you don't sleep, you get real physical issues- you physically can't go without sleep for more than maybe a week without having serious issues.
You can go a lifetime without sex with no real ill effects. Sleep is a physical need! Sex is nice to have, but you're not going to actually die if you don't have it. Oddly, I find that this has to be actually said.


And also, I think Monique's hairy legs aren't to be lumped in with the open marriage thing. Once I asked to shave my legs after being policed at school about OMG, I FORGOT TO SHAVE, and my mom freaked out so I also emphasize with the black snob's opinion, but just showing your legs isn't TMI. Now, the open marriage thing isn't that bad. Stay with me here! I think it's good for some people, and she shouldn't be shamed to say that it works for her. Now, if she wants to tell us all that she likes to be submissive in bed, that's TMI. But this? not so much

They are wanking over at Pandagon. Before I go into it, here's an amusing comment:

Honestly, that’s what I’m getting from her too. “I’ve dated so many men you wouldn’t believe! And now I’m in a happy, long-term relationship with a guy I adore and we never have to work at it! All you people who are lonely/shy/unattractive/looking for a relationship/not as fuck-happy as I am need to STFU cry moar ‘cause I got mine. Also, asexuals are probably emotionally manipulative; if you expect someone to put up with you you’d better put out or you’re obviously trying to guilt them into stuff.*”

Hehehe! Anyway, there's a big mess about asexuality. Lindsay Bernstein tells us all about how asexuals are being jerks, since everyone expects folks to put out!

So Lurker says, dude, you got boundary issues!

And then she's like, you got a probs with logic!

Cerebus explains asexuality and the issues therein.

A new word appears- 'sexplain'

And also, this is a great post.

Personally, I'm not an asexual, but as a sexual, the model of LET'S HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE WHO WE BARELY KNOW doesn't work for me, and there's shaming even for people who would eventually like to have sex, if they know the person, and the shaming for people who actually are asexual must be terrible.

I think people are really short sighted. Consolidating would streamline the government. The problem is that people believe that someone who is in the city and someone who is down the street and live in the county, somehow the problems are divided with the government. It doesn't work that way! If you're a criminal, you know how to cross the street. Really! And if you think that not educating millions of children in the city is going to be a good idea, you're an idiot.

I feel bad, as now I am officially bad at 'sucking it up'. When I suck something up, it usually comes back as a resentment. And strangely, I can't switch caring on and off. If I care, I care. I'm distractable, but... Anyway, I guess people have different emotional styles, and people of that prized disposition may or may not be rare in the population at large.

Ok, I woke up in the middle of the night, and as usual, CA commenters need to be ashamed of themselves. A man is shot, and what do they do? They blame the area of town, 'thugs'[which apparently is anyone who likes gangsta rap. Dang! I just met with 15 'thugs' today! Ok, they were little children who were learning about science, but LOCK THEM UP! SCHOOLS DON'T NEED FUNDING NO WAYS!], and that we're not spending enough money jailing people. And of course, there's the good ol' folks just don't make enough effort. This man died tragically, and what do we hear? Folks running to get an opportunity to shit on neighborhoods they don't like, styles of music they don't like,etc. I don't see people shitting on single moms, which is a shocker, but maybe I missed something.

Eh, I get the feeling that employers will go and take the free work of the intern, but when it's time for hiring, those kids will be thrown in the trash. And of course, after they've worked for free! Ok, actually, with university fees, this counts as paying to have a job. Whoopie! You guys know people can work for free now, don't you? Or maybe they are out of touch with corporate culture nowadays. Take people, chew them up, and toss them out in the cold.

Woman suffers hard life, domestic abuse, is slammed for bothering 'nice white boys'. Also, poorly formed views of mental illness used to slam woman, causing annoyance for everyone who has even thought about mental illness for more than 2 seconds.

Adorable children wear clothing that is practical and age appropiate. Tabloids are shocked, demanding that small children wear high heels, an explosion of pink and bows, and fake eyelashes as soon as possible!

I was reading Donald Miller's A Mllion Miles in a Thousand Years and maybe I'm just a tool of an evil force that wants you to live boring and meaningless stories, but the fact that when he decided to live a better story, he decided to go and hike a trail in Peru threw me right off. I was feeling slightly bad because I am the sort of person who would choose to be in a story in which there are a lot of naps and any travel is leavened with many stops to eat in delicious restaurants, but then I read The Fantasy of Thin and thought maybe that Miller was just selling a different fantasy.

I think a lot of us daydream that if we just did something, whether it's decide to live a story or become thin or whatever, we'd find that our essential selves would want to do the sort of exciting things that others talk about, but I wonder if that's really true. To be a good story, do we really need to kayak in a river and then stay at the house of mysterious rich, white people? Or can our lives be a good story without the world spanning, life changing arcs that Miller wants from a story?

Yes, it's very exciting in a story for it to be raining blood as our heroes charge the bad guys, but in real life, we take pains for that to happen as little as possible, for obvious reasons. And having two or three passionate love affairs at the same time sounds great, but it probably is really exhausting instead.

I also thought that Miller's screenwriters, well, they were too focused on just one model of film making. Sure, there's a model where everything has to come out all right at the end, and you waste half the movie watching the hero doing boring things that are supposed to endear us to the hero[like some random heterosexual coupling they throw in for no reason], but there are many other ways to make a movie, and so there are many other ways to make a life.

Instead of you are beautiful, I'll leave 'you are smart', 'you are worthy', 'you are loved', 'you are valuable'

Eh, I don't like this article. There's something there...where female violence is punished, but male violence? it's just false accusations.

In cheerier news, this reminded me of a lady complaining that babysitters wanted $7 an hour! an hour! as if it was shocking, and I thought really? gas is 3 bucks per gallon. With $7, the babysitter could buy one happy meal or 7 candy bars. Maybe,maybe they could get one manga book. If they were lucky. It also reminds me of people saying we pay $7.50 an hour to chop pigweed out of the cotton fields...HEY, WHY ISN'T ANYONE SIGNING UP?!

I learned through twitter that people are working hard on being against people just taking on people's identities and struggles for shits and giggles. Good work people who are actually doing things!

The system broke, because we didn't think of what would happen when the bottom fell out. In those heady days of the 90s, we threw around words like personal responsibility, and thought the economy would always provide jobs. Our judgments and haughty misjudgments clouded our thoughts, and we couldn't see the people who needed our help. We only saw their imperfections, our judgments of what we would have done. In our imaginations, we'd never do something as crazy as watching tv or having a cell phone so when we were stranded in the cold between our two, three jobs we could call somebody. We imagined that it was like that time in college, when we worked two jobs, as we brag to everyone. We didn't say that we knew it was temporary, and a bright horizon awaited us just beyond.

I don't know who this we is. I want to take some of the blame on myself. And I think others also didn't see the bad times coming. We thought that somehow by magic, jobs would be there if only someone wished hard enough. I don't know what I mean, but all I can think of is that we have failed.

Margaret Cho, I love you! I identify so much with being the one who isn't seen, the one who is invisible until it's time to dump on someone. It hurts. I want to protect the children from this.

This post comparing 19th century cleanliness obsession with 21st century thinness obsession is a thing of beauty.

I've always hated Valentine's Day. I never could articulate it clearly- I always felt a sort of nah nah nah, look at what I get and you don't! holiday. Of course, you're supposed to feel bad about feeling bad. Others are happy, you should be happy too, they say. But I can't describe what I mean. Words fail me. All I know is that some 'happiness' makes me feel small and diminished, and makes many other people feel bad and alone, and that other happiness makes the world seem larger and expanded by its scope. It makes me feel glad to orbit around the same star as those people who are encircled by that love.

I feel that even if I wasn't watching, even if all displays of romance vanished from the earth, their love would still be as strong. It's not "look at me!" it just is.

Of course, it's obvious that we could pretty much house most of the homeless. Housing stock stands empty right now here in Memphis, while we don't even have a free shelter for the homeless to stay the NIGHT in. People can build schools out of old office buildings, why not homes out of well...houses?



I'm against a school police force as well. Why criminalize our children? Why spend sorely needed money repressing kids in a model that would probably just make things worse?

But what will they do when the big seed companies, the belligerent poor, and the socialist technocrat state shoot their zucchini crop from their black helicopters that Obama has rented from the One World Government?

This sort of thing is why I'm so suspicious of the so called 'power' of female sexual display. The power requires someone else to give it to you. This woman is not so much to blame for buying into the hype. For years, we've been told oh, women are so powerful; they can make a man do anything by shaking their ass!

But your ass is always too big, too small, too old, too exposed, too covered. Too dark, too light, too high, too low. You shake it too much, no, you shake it too little. When someone talks about how crazy this society makes her, how after being told and told that sexual and appearance value IS her value as a woman, it's all get therapy!

Now, that's just degrading the idea of therapy, and I'm sick of it. Therapists treat mental illnesses, and also help people adjust to life's traumas. It's a noble profession and I don't like it being used as a cheap insult. It seeks to say that the person didn't just say something you disagree with, but is deviant in a bone deep way.

I mean, "I feel invisible because of the hurtful comments of some dick musician, and it reminds me of feeling invisible in public" "You should get therapy for that". What's with that? "I hope you get the help you need for feeling bad because some asshole put you down!" Well, that's really condescending! And thanks for making mental health care more stigmatized.

When people really get to the point where their life situations have them about to break, when their natural resilience and support networks are not enough to support them, and they may need to seek guidance from a helper, they may shy away because they remember you being a wafflesnatcher.

I think that mental health is broad. You can be vulnerable, hurt in places, and still not be 'crazy' or 'bad'. I think a lot of us are more lonely than we have to be because we're constrained to having an image of no weakness, no fear, nothing but goodness and strength. If only somehow, we could share ourselves with each other without fear.

Now the truth is that I was not lusting after John Mayer's pasty sexist ass cock. But still, I don't want to know that I can't be me and be loved at the same time in this society. Now, my bones know it. My heart knows it. But like John Mayer's disembodied and creepy ass dick, my brain doesn't want to follow through.

This is the best comment about that yet.

Now that's entitlement! People complain about people feeling entitled to food or medicine, but feeling entitled to sexual gratification using other's bodies and our money? A OK!

Also, my favorite part of this article is how the writer describes how without taxes this town wouldn't even exist.

I love you kameelah! By which I mean, your blog is awesome!

Ah. pandagon, is there a subject you can't wank on?

I like how this post has a sensible discussion about why people choose the foods they do. [hint: it's not because they are saying HAHAHAHAHA! I WILL HAVE A FAT ASS AND RUIN AMERICA!!!]

Breaking the gender binary is not easy to do.

The pain and loss of birthmothers from adoptions that were purported to be open, but really were only open on the conditions that the adoptive parents would allow.

Precious contributes to stigma, writers say. Note the excellent Akeelah and the Bee didn't get any awards.

As you all know, I'm a prude. So I was going to complain that for god's sake, your child does not need lingerie. They can wear days of the week panties like generations before. But sadly, the comments are terrible, full of OMG, SHE'S A HOE! SHE'LL GET RAPED! even though its just clothing that is really ugly and inappropriate. No matter how butt ugly, stupid looking and freedom restricting the clothing young girls wear is, it has nothing to do with their sexual morality and anyway, if you rape a ten year old, it's your own fault, no matter whether she was wearing jeans and a t shirt or fishnet stockings and a skirt that is up to there.

So yes, that line of clothing is butt ugly, and is a sad result of how we're telling little girls that their worth is in how 'hot' they look. But it doesn't make the girls hoes, sluts, or whatever. It's just hideous clothing.

I'm sort of worried. I think why are they publishing the full name of a girl who has been assaulted by the police? I'm worried people will drag her name through the mud because of this, even though it was the police man who did something wrong.

Henrietta Lacks is a name I didn't know. Up until 5 minutes ago, I thought it was Lax. Due to shockingly unethical behavior, her cells are still living and producing cures. There's a lot of stuff in this story from the anxiety of the family that they'll just be used and thrown away to the question of who really owns your cells. It sucks that it's through someone else and not people telling their own story, but then again, it's not like her family could really afford to max out their credit cards on a story that they didn't even know others would listen to...and plus, it would be hard to get an agent, etc.

Look at this amazing statement from Adoptees of Color. It tells us that we can't just spirit children away from everything they've known, and say it's alright. We can't just say 'they're orphans' without even thinking of the possibility they might have relatives or communities they already live in!

Also, strange Detroiters are freezing a house solid for reasons I don't understand. Art? protest?

and BTW: Disability is our lives, not your analogy!

Privledge is the idea that you can just show up with good intentions and not even think your cunning plan through. Of course the Haitian government doesn't want you to just abscond with children with no evidence of whether you're going to sell them to the highest bidder or whether you've gotten the approval of any family members the children might have had... Also, do the kids think they are just going away for a while and can come back or do they know that they might never see any of their family members ever again?

Haiti apparently doesn't need your breastmilk. Apparently, electricity and fridges would be needed to store it! Fancy that!

Hey, lady! Don't erase yourself from your own story! Sure, the stories in our culture say that a woman who is unpaired is defective somehow- too picky, not submissive enough, not pretty enough, and a man who is unpaired has been burnt by those evil women who are trying to chain him down with marriage, or fuck too much, or only want 'bad boys' or aren't submissive enough, or etc, etc. But you don't have to believe it! You can be the hero of your own story! Or at least I believe that. Or maybe my ramblings are pretty boring, sorry...

Women's panties are a subject of debate. And yes, ladies, you can have oral sex, even if you have HAIR ON YOUR VULVA! NOOOO! Apparently there is important things going on from the School of Our Lorde to people digging through the many layers of love. also, you can be in Our Bodies, OurSelves.

While people imagine evil women making poor poor men pay $100 a month and therefore not getting to buy Mass Effect 2 women are being coerced into physically and emotionally dangerous pregnancy.

Survey on teen boys and sex. Linking for bookmarks' sake.

White feminists see the glory of Monique's legs! Also, they talk about how even though they DON'T SHAVE, MEN still want to HAVE SEX WITH THEM, since HAVING A RELATIONSHIP is better than USING YOUR HAND and BEING ALONE WITH YOUR FANTASIES OF SEX ROBOTS! But at least, there's not too many HAIR IS SO GROSS, I HAVE TO SHAVE! DUE TO HOW GROSS IT IS! despite men being clean with hair on them.

If my brother doesn't even have to bathe half the time, I sure as hell am not going to be like OMG, MY LEGS HAVE A LITTLE STUBBLE ON THEM! TIME FOR THERAPY!!!

Racism in the dating scene sucks ass what with racism and sexism combining to make a toxic smog of oppression. Of course, 'beauty' means burn the scalp, bleach the skin, starve the body, rip the hair, etc, etc, etc.

Things to think about before adopting a Haitian child. When trying to help, the needs of the helped are the most important thing.

Let's all point and laugh at these losers who think their kids are too weak and fragile to be on the same team as everyone else. Oh noooo! little jonny might be exposed to people of other cultures! The horror! Can't let little jonny have his childhood fun with different people, you know!

Apparently doing things you know are wrong[having sex with trafficked women] is just because men need sex. More than integrity, decency, etc. Men don't need pesky things like empathy[what if I was in a foreign country, didn't speak the language and some stranger was trying to rape me up the ass?] or thinking before acting [you know, if going to prostitutes makes me feel bad, maybe I shouldn't do it] If women were men, this would be considered proof of inferiority- 'women can't control themselves! They'll do illegal, immoral stuff just because they can't keep their vaginas to themselves!' We'd hear about how women shouldn't be in high office, if they can't even keep themselves from cruising the ads in craigslist, placing a call, and setting aside the time an money to visit prostitutes! They just can't control themselves!

Of course, if men don't want to stoop to abusing women on the street, they can go and buy a creepy robot! or they can hump a pillow with the image of a young girl on it. About the why- I think there are probably many different whys. Some want to dominate, some are so stunted and broken by the patriarchy that they can't truly relate to people- a man can only relate to their 'inferiors' i.e. women by sex. It's like how men are trained to replace emotions like sadness or vulnerability with anger.

The desire to be with people is replaced by sex. And sadly, the sex that is sold to us is joyless. Robots with one word personalities aren't far off from the dull mass produced pornography that is seen as 'sexy' nowadays or contrived 'girlfriend' relationships in which a man pays for a shallow imitation of intimacy.

People long for joy, for true intimacy, but they can't receive it by paying for it. Making oneself vulnerable to real relationships with real people is scary, but I don't think that puerile fantasy can sustain them...

This post on Haitian heritage is beautiful.

Oh fun! Burning labia!

Sexism and racism combine to cause women of color to use dangerous skin lightening creams. The comments on this are already stupid!

Also, in other news, newsweek decides to mock some chick who has gone to extremes to be 'beautiful'.

Childcare worker has dumb ideas about potty training.

I hear that people are assuming awesome new genders that have more space in them than the old notions of 'women' and men'. Total fucking nerd is an awesome gender!

I think that the prisoner involved IS a woman[it's not so much chromosomes, as well...it's a social thing. I can't explain]. Just a very evil one, who out to be ashamed of herself. There's enough womanhood to go around for everyone. There's no need to be all insulting to the 99% of trans women who are perfectly fine people, just because one is a terrible person.

While extremely thin women might not be 'sexy', I think that the issue isn't how 'sexy' they are or aren't, it's that the judges judged unfairly based on prevailing standards, which are unrealistic for 99% of women.

Whether men think bigger women are 'hot' is also of no concern either- judging women on their fuckibility is stupid, I say.

What sort of dick would use this disaster to put Haiti in more debt? Maybe we should just forgive their debt.

Tropers argue about Ryona, a genre of youtube videos edited to show female characters beaten up. As a mean ol' feminist, I think it shows a disregard for women.

The discussion page is a wank fest.

I was reading this post, and sadly, remembered that it is now my duty to remind everyone that they don't need my approval. Despite my clever blog posts, my amazing taste in entertainment, and my sloth like energy levels, sadly, sadly, you don't have to obey my bloggish edicts. I cry crystal tears as I remember that even though I say that giving your 7 year old My Makeup instead of Mario, Zelda or Nintendogs, is totally cruel- fostering Pink Think as well as depriving her of the fun of games that are awesome, you sadly, don't have to obey me.

Even when I tell you that your 7 year old doesn't need lipstick! you don't have to cry, as instead of the grand poobah of feminism, instead I'm more of a random person off the street. DARN REALITY! YOU RUIN MY LIFE!

But seriously, this sort of reminds me of 'reverse racism'. Any sort of pushback against the system is seen as way worse than the actual issue. We can't really critique the system as we're busy going "Oh, I'm not SCARY! Tehehee!" and for some reason, not being a 'scary' feminist means going along with the prevailing appearance standards, which sort of weirds me out. Of all the ass kicking shit we're going to do, what scares folks the most? Not being decorative objects. Well, rock on, then!

You know...from my experience[ok, I try to tutor some children in math. I seem to have the same 20 or so every day], girls are actually better in math. Girls are socialized to sit down and not disrupt the entire class, which means they can actually learn their multiplication tables or how many feet are in a yard, which are the building blocks of mathematical brilliance. It's not considered masculine to sit down, learning about things that will eventually give you the knowledge to blow shit up.

Although of course, this is a small sample, and the girls might all be just children left after school... Soon we'll get all the children who actually failed math, so interesting things will happen soon.

Companies manage to bone us all. No job security, no benefits, and on page 3, more people working for free. I laughed at the folks wasting money on training in 'positive thinking'. If your employees weren't stupid to begin with, positive thinking won't make them dumb enough not to notice their precarious position.

In other news, some garbage men won't work in 11 degrees. People are enraged since they get paid $18 an hour and "should be glad to have jobs".

Cripchick wants information on liberation schools or community led schools.

Poor woman gets heating help- sadly people are OUTRAGED that people who need it get help instead of freezing in the snow. And the sad bit is that people act like the poor don't put anything in. Labor, payroll tax, sales tax and probably property tax this woman pays. And the three children are future producers and the young woman will probably [and probably has already] produced both labor, taxes and consumption, which people forget fuels the economy.

and all this without considering the moral value of not letting people freeze.

I learn that just because you try to be relatively sane in a post doesn't mean the comments won't be a bowl of crazy.

Bullies are the kids of working moms.

and I don't know what's going on here, but whatever. although I do find it annoying when people act like only sahms are raising their kids. The obsessive single focus model of motherhood is probably relatively new- women were doing a lot of food production and community activity in the home- it wasn't all flash cards, and whatever.

I'm always skeptical about more gym classes helping student physical fitness, because not only do many instructors humiliate students and suck totally and also, what is the quality of things being taught in class? Is it just team sports or something that the kids can actually use throughout life?

Shame on this police officer who raped prostitutes and only got 7 years for it.

Unrelated, sex worker art projects.

TQCers wish that people would stop acting like posting their bra colors does fuck all for breast cancer.

Genderbitch is very hurt by feminist insensitivity.

Creating awareness my ass. The only thing this creates awareness of is naked supermodels and we are already aware of them.

Man, this is some serious whiteboy butthurt here.

I learned not only that sex addiction is made up by the mean prudes that rule the world to prevent us from having fun, but also that prudes are no fun to date.

Because we really need people who aren't really comfortable having sex just because they ate dinner with someone a few times having sex because of pressure not to be a prude. Yep! That's going to foster healthy sexual relationships right there! Also, it reminds me of some sort of Leisure Suit Larry guy from the 70s. "Hey, baby, you must be a prude if you don't fuck me immediately in the way I like!" *sleazy shame* "Hey, why are you walking off? YOU'LL BE ALONE! YOU MEAN BITCH PRUDE!"

The problem is that while there are many very sexual women and men who aren't shy about casual sex, that's not the only type of person out there. There are asexuals, people who want sex only intermittently, people who think sex is intimate and therefore should be shared only by people who have known each other for a long time or are married, people who think sex is OK, but not really that important. We act like these folks are pathological, but there's more of them than we think.

I'm a sexual myself, but people act like all people make sex the centerpiece of the relationship, while I think that some might find commitment, or mutual hobbies, more important to their relationship, and sex might just be like playing Settlers of Catan together- fun, but not all consuming.

I get the feeling that if we eliminated food stamps, the majority of the behavior change would be more like 'people get off their job at the Circle K and start stealing from trashcans' and less like 'people become productive members of society, however that is defined that somehow still includes their sub standard wage job... I think the independence from the bureaucracy would probably look more like stabbing rich people in the throat and rioting than a Randian paradise, but this is why I am an outcast from society, etc.

I'm not sure how two parent homes would have prevented this murder, but go on CA commentators! Also, I learn that if poor people didn't live in the city, there wouldn't be any crime...

Also, OMG, POOR FOLKS! I didn't know Memphis was that large, though.

My moral superiority is class S!


In America, we've perfected the moral superiority contest. We talk about how hard we had it, maybe embellishing a bit- smooth over the help from the rents, the good health you enjoyed, etc- while beating others about the head about how they only worked part time when you worked full time while you were in school.

Instead of us all banding together, saying hey, this system isn't working for anyone, we make it into a contest of who can do the most before they break down and crack. But when we break down, who will catch us? We can't catch others from a place of superiority.

But everyone is losing out. The people who break down and drop out. The people who would have benefited from the creativity and talent of those who aren't strong but have something to say. The children who feel the stress of their caretakers. The employers that get lower quality work.

We're not machines. We're human. When we realize this, we can work for a system that everyone can do their best in.

You know, apparently I have slutty nipples.

Ugly ass pink telescopes cause much consternation at PZ's. The problem is not so much pink as the default toy your brother will be getting from the grandparents is the EXPLOSIVE DEATH STICK 2000 and you'll be getting a disembodied head so you can do its hair. Major bummer, dude.

I am a feminist so every choice I make is feminist

From zombieroadtrip.

I think that this is sort of a hidden backlash. We have to spend all our time declaiming how we feminists are truly feminine, while folks pushing back everyone's rights have open field to mess us up! In 2010, let's kick those folks asses.

Also, I've decided that I'll identify as fucking awesome instead of as a woman. But this has no affect on you, and doesn't really matter.

I just realized why I am messy! My brother was all like clean up the living room, and then complaining about the way I cleaned it. He can have higher standards because he can expect other people to clean shit for him, and then he can complain about how it's not clean enough. I know I'll have to clean shit myself, so I STFU about mess.

Also, I thought they couldn't invent something wackier than pube shaving, but now...we have LABIA COLORANT! I have no idea how folks will defend this. But go wild, folks. I'm hoping you do your best on this! hehehehe.

Oh hahaha, now they are trying to pretend that having pink labia is somehow 'healthier' than browner labia. LOLZ, 'health'

I hear that many trans people want fewer poorly done and embarrassing grad school studies and more actual tangible help.

Here's a long considered post about why Lifestyle Activism is stupid. I'm going to riff off of it, as I usually do. Personally, I think that declaring that the stuff we are already doing is 'activism' or 'feminism'[a HUGE pet peeve of mine, as you can tell.] is just spinning our wheels. We can pretty much retcon any thing we already do into being activism. I like playing video games and reading shoujo manga. I COULD say that me playing Persona 4 is lifestyle activism because there's storylines about gender roles, and anyway, GIRL GAMER!!!!! but come on, I'm not fooling ANYONE.

I think this sort of navel gazing is pretty comfortable for those in power. I mean, me going on about how freecycle is so much fun, brings together the community, and helps clean house is NOT going to break down the capitalist system that has people hoping someone will take pity on them and give them some food.

And yea, western style liberal feminism did start with consciousness raising, but I get the feeling it wasn't about how much they loved mopping the floor, and how great those new dresses at Marshall Fields are. If they were, I'm sure it would have been a whole lot less threatening to the status quo. Sadly, the backlash is so pronounced that feminism nowadays is reduced to the modern day equivalent of saying we love to mop the floor.

Apparently you shouldn't give folks your boxes of kraft mac and cheese from 1996.

Dear the internet, I am not pleased with military women being forced to risk their health because of stupid politics. That reminds me of this Quiverfull book I am reading, in which some poor lady had to write out that her being raped while in the military was not her somehow cheating on her husband, because of some unusual church rules. Personally, I don't agree with the Quiverfull lifestyle. Yes, I disagree with some aspects of other people's lifestyles and behaviors, especially as my temperament says BUT WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND IS AN ABUSIVE FUCK WHO IS ATTRACTED TO PATRIARCHY BECAUSE HE GETS RESPECT JUST FOR HAVING A PENIS, AND YOU HAVE TO RUN OFF, AND YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ALLOWED TO GO TO CHRISTIAN COLLEGE?! The worst case scenario, that's me! I'm sure they are all changing their lives to elicit my worldly approval.

In other news, our economic system is really inefficient. I hear 45% of Detriot's workforce is un or underemployed. We talk about how we're such a rich and powerful nation, but I can't believe that we can't get more people into good paying and decent jobs. I think a lot of the un or under employed have valuable skills we could be using, but we're so tied up with a system that throws thousands out of work if the stock price drops one cent, we can't use them.

Sadly, pearl clutching is fun and fast, and actual work is not glamorous and is slow slow. I think this is the root of the 'why don't you protest against thugs' fallacy. Being in a tutoring program, a mentoring program, isn't flashy, and becoming an activist against folks who want there to be no investment in anything that might be productive or useful is derided. Do a jobs not jails action and see what the same folks complaining about thugs say.

Instead we're supposed to hold out for a black male hero to marry us women[because all problems can be solved if those single moms just got married], and not worry our pretty little heads over unequal school funding, lack of infrastructure, and job discrimination.

There's debate about feminine pursuits.

Why are male interests considered fun and female interests considered boring? [note: it's because 'female interests' are usually work in disguise. Work to be hot, work to make people feel good, work to clean stuff, and feed people, work, work, work.]

Hey! I like masculine things, and I'm a good feminist! Hmm...well...I do see a lot of push to be like WE LOVE TRADITIONALLY FEMININE THINGS AND WE'RE FEMINIST!!! which seems to sort of pushing the rest of us who don't like baking and shaving to one side...

HELL YEAH, I LOVE SCIENCE!

Sadly, girl with dog icon, we don't.

Strangely enough, before the 90s, most women were able to survive the SUFFERING of having PUBIC HAIR, and their lives went on. Actually, I think in Europe, many women still SUFFER THE PAIN of having pubes! You know what? We on the net wouldn't have known what you do with your pubes if you hadn't told us. If you love your pubeless vulva, why drag in Andrea Dworkin and the Mean Feminists[tm]?


Also, here's some stupid. about how the ghost of Andrea Dworkin came into people's homes and made them not be ~~PRETTY~~. You know what? The real enemy of feminine women is the patriarchy- lower paying work, the mommy track, sexual violence against women, etc. It's not us *mean feminists* who question why 90% of JUST HATE HAIR people are women, or who wonder about the time and money spent to look 'acceptable' in this society as a woman as compared to the time and money for a man[notice the Nice Guy who thinks he deserves a woman at the top of society's looks tier despite his unremarkable looks and often disgusting personality].


I sometimes wish that women could accept themselves. Love the people who are working hard inside their bodies with their fat, their stretch marks, and heck, even HAIR. See the essential part of themselves not as 'how do I look?' but 'how am I moving through the world?'. I don't want to be 'a man' as much as I want to be 'treated' as a man. Pit hair? Not EW, GROSS, HOW DARE YOU! but oh well..what's next? The face I woke up with, the one I was born with and the ones I love see through thick and thin? Not YOU'D LOOK BETTER IF... but accepted as it is. My stride, not sultry and seductive, but straight ahead? Not I'LL TEACH YOU TO WALK RIGHT! but accepted. My genitalia? Not MAYBE IF IT LOOKS LIKE THIS... but loved despite the fact that I'm an mammal. My style? Not MAN, YOU'D LOOK BETTER IN HEELS, HOOP EARRINGS, A DRESS, BLAH BLAH but just seen as what I wear to keep warm.

Your enemy is not us mean feminists who wonder why, who long to understand why things are the way they are; your enemy is our society, slicing us all to bits. Maybe the gender policing doesn't hurt you- maybe you're struggling for things to be the same. That's nice and well, but realize that things will stay the status quo without I HATE HAIR! crap,ok?

Teen girls think becoming a prostitute is edgy. I think they are wrong. Violence against sex workers is real, and stigma. It's not all happy hookers and ~empowerment~. And not to mention, what if the police extort you for sex? That's sick.

For some reason, I'm not so sure that rounding up homeless folks using the police is the best approach. Many homeless people might be scared of the police. I think it's a shame that there's no free shelter in Memphis. The Peace and Justice Center is being slammed here for thinking long term, but sometimes you need to think long term.

Just having sweeps every time there's a frost doesn't touch the problem at all.

Sex trafficking scandal breaks in Korea- K pop fans more worried about their favorite stars than the girls who were raped in sex slavery ring.

A woman died in the marathon today. I saw the runners coursing down the streets, trying to pace themselves, and trying not to be distracted by onlookers. I felt pretty impressed, as I'm more of the 'lay down and cough' type, although recently, I've been complaining more about how my side feels like someone kicked me in it...

Some stupid article pisses me off again.


Apparently, women who drink, don't drink, have jobs, don't have jobs, who aren't high maintenance, who are high maintenance, etc, shouldn't be dated.

Oh yea, and this is a good one. Hahaha, WOMEN! YOU NEED TO BE FEMININE! SO GET BREAST IMPLANTS!

...is this site a joke? I sure hope it is, but I cant tell...

OH NO! WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF 20 HAVEN'T SETTLED DOWN TO BABIES AND A 'PROPER' FEMININE ROLE! NOW, THEY ARE OUT, HAVING SEX WITH MEN OF THEIR OWN AGE OR YOUNGER! BEWARE! BEWARE! BEWARE!

30% of children are in poverty in Memphis- Memphians' answers? complain about single moms. Hey you! YOU can mentor a child today!

The scoring on state report cards confuses me, personally.

I think people should stop going OMG, THEY ARE DRINKING SODA ON MY TAX DOLLARS! especially since in Memphis, half of our kids are being fed from food stamps. Our system is so inefficent because we're overly worried about 'morality'- measured in how many jobs you can have before you can collapse, in how little pleasure you have in your life, and god forbid you have children! Man, I'm a child freer, but if you like children, you should be allowed to have them!

Let's stop judging folks on things like that for the holidays,ok?

About the craving for a space of purity and protection for young girls I think that we can create spaces that aren't about some man has to save you or YOU GOTTA BE SEXUAL IN THIS WAY, RIGHT NOW! I think that maybe we can write counternarratives or something...

I was expecting something about how race might complicate Tiana and that Naveen's relationship- say, if they declared him 'white', could they get together? But if folks say he's 'black', wouldn't he get sick of the shoddy treatment? What about his home country? What would they think about that?

But NO! We get 'black women are single because they are holding out for a black hero'. Whaaaat? There's no pervasive cultural messages about the desirability of black women?! We don't get any shit like "I can't date a black woman...they don't like opera"[but women of other races don't like opera much either!!!]?! No! It's because when asian, white and latino men are blanketing us with marriage proposals, we're saying no? I'm not seeing it.

And maybe some women don't marry because they don't want unsuitable men*, did you ever think about that?

*I say 'men' because everyone is too picky about marriage laws lately. They barely will let women marry women, even though plenty of people would enjoy marriage that way!

How the Girls of Sudan Became Lost- with a combination of cultural misogynies.

How people living sustainably with the land became victims of large NGOs!

Wow, this 'if white women were black women' post just kicked my ass with awesome!

Personally, no wonder our economy is full of old socks if people can't hire folks because they had a sensible wedding instead of total insanity.

Darn, and just when mamitamala had healed my soul by noting that the idea that everyone has to earn everything is kind of silly. It might be 'unamerican' to say so, but I always feel I never measure up. IT'S A DEEP HOLE IN MY SOUL!

The patriarchy hurts women who have something against Asians too.

I think maybe this neurosis about having hair that's not on your head is sort of a culture bound syndrome, but then again, maybe I don't understand femininity. The idea of being a mammal causing enough angst to self maim your vag confuses me greatly.

Also, stupid free.

Is VaginaPagina a safe space for poor WOC? Some think not.

White feminists fight about knitting!

In the comments of this article about hunger, people deny that it exists in America. These people are idiots.

White feminists are discussing the sex lives of beauty queens. While personally, I don't like the word 'prudery' here- as it's usually used as a slam towards women who have their own sexual boundaries, I do agree with the bit about how female genitalia is considered unclean. A wing wong is considered lovable[unless it's attached to a woman- then it's OMG, A TRAP!!] unconditionally, but a vagina? They gotta be hairless, the labia has to look like this, and of course, there should be no stretch marks on the body around it...HEY, HOW COME I NEVER GET LAID?!

And in this PORN IN PUBLIC article, I get the vibe that we're supposed to be like that lady who is like ha! man! I love being exposed to porn in public! It's a dominance display in my mind. Look! I can expose you to my sexual fetishes and you can't do anything about it! Yea, and I can expose you, and your kids to my erect wing wong! I got a wing wong- gotta love it!

If you watch porn in the library, you need to be smacked, imo.

New study shows that serial rapists, who make up a large portion of rapes, deserve a foot in the face.

Hey, newsweek guy! We haven't given up! But the truth is that we might be working hard, but other folks work against. While it was wrong for dude to punch chica here in the face, the bull people spout pushes us back. The space between us increases every time folks attack us with their hurtful words. Then again, the idea that dads are a magic panacea also increases the space between us and our goals.

Or maybe I should say, the idea that only men, and only biological fathers can be 'dads' widens the space. We can all help protect children from the violence of the world and nurture their growth. We can all be 'dads' for the children- we just need to broaden our perspective.

But looking from another perspective, saying we need dads in the homes means we don't have to do anything. I mean, what can we do? If only she had stayed with that dude! We have no complicity in the conditions- it's all the fault of people who aren't getting married. It's easy for us, isn't it?

People talk about achievement issues, in an unhelpful manner. Less bitching about the morals of other people/other people's children- more connections to mentoring or tutoring. Although with folks' funky ass attitudes, they won't be much help. They'll be the sort of people who think 12 year olds all go to school with shivs or the type of person who gives a little kid who wants some potato chips a lecture about how they should work for their potato chips or something.

So on second thought, bump that.

I don't think doctors should have to write referrals to acupuncture, because some stuff just doesn't count as health care. It's like having to have a doctor write a prescription for taking a warm bath with smelly stuff in it. Probably no effect beyond placebo, but it's unlikely to actually harm anyone either.

Colorlines wonders why film about poor black people by rich black people stays silent on the political realities of 1980s Harlem.

Is it me or is the rate of unemployment for black men without high school double the rate for white men without highschool?

High drop out rate not helped by our THEY JUST LAZY attitude.

Slactivists debate whether we should give a quarter to some drunk guy on the street or not.