There are no worthless foods! I especially enjoyed the comment discussion on whether it's really OK for people to be pushed so hard at school or work that they end up living on Twizzlers and Diet Coke for days. Accorrding to society, I'm a terrible person, so I'm going with no.

Dangerous manicure chemicals injure women.

Sex tourism- not all roses for men either. Shades of colonialism anyone?

Man, men are encouraged to have some serious entitlement. Women are chided to say 'they don't hate men', even when they point out actual violence, but men can bust on women all day for minor slights like not being 'hot' enough, having self esteem, or not fucking them. Dude, you're not entitled to shit. And have you realized you might have gotten the gas face because women are on the receiving end of violence a lot? Maybe she's nervous. Maybe she isn't even thinking about your ass, and is mean mugging about her job or her vocation. Not every woman has a head full of air.

Why don't undocumented workers come legally? They can't.

About the individual empowerment model- these folks are certainly empowering themselves by making wads of cash off the backs of other black people. However, the solutions they peddle aren't very effective. The white community has a similar number of bad actors, such as the men who defrauded everyone in the banking system, and collasped the economy. They are getting off with millions of dollars. However, just telling these guys "Don't be greedy!" isn't going to be much help, and merely serves to make us feel better about ourselves.

So does the middle class carping about the poor, or older people complaining about the young. This sort of thing doesn't help the young folks who went to college, did what they were supposed to do, but can't find a paying job. This sort of thing doesn't fund schools. It doesn't give students teachers who care. It just puts money in the pockets of the authors, because we all want to believe that things can be simple.

We all want to believe that if only someone else did their job, all would be fine. And it is someone else we're blaming, and that's what makes this narrative so compelling. I don't have to mentor children if I can just say that parents need to be doing better. I don't have to work for better addiction services, if I say they should have just said no. I don't have to do anything! I can keep doing what I'm doing, while feeling good about myself that MY pants are at a level that is considered appropriate.

You know, on twitter, I was introduced to this as ZOMG! THEY ARE FUCKERS WHO HATE OUR SELF ACTUALIZATION THROUGH KNITTING, but you know, she has a point there. No, knitting is not going to break down the patriarchy. Knitting is in fact, a way to produce warm socks. Now, there have been recent innovations, which cause knitting to produce apple cozies and stuffed octopi, but no matter how many vagina purses are knitted, the patriarchy isn't budging. Really. No, I don't need any. Thank you.

But on a serious note, I get the feeling that gardening and raising chickens and acting like it's a super special feminist statement is not really something I like. Does everything have to be a super special feminist statement? Can't a woman just knit a Christmas stocking for her baby's first Christmas without declaring that she has just struck a blow for the freedom of all women everywhere?

Nezua is moderating your hateful screeds.

This triggering post needs to be read. If only those scumbags had the decency to get help- to think of something besides whatever misguided and evil thoughts were swirling in their brains...that woman would be alive today, and her child would have a mother.

Man, the comments to mr pro sex here are amazing. I recommend you read the whole thing. It's easy for a man to be a 'pro sex feminist'-I'm sure he can find many ways in that to service his own needs, including his penis, probably.

On breastfeeding guilt and the difficulty you being an ass poses to lactivism.

Iranian women are calling for gender equality! Can we hear them over our own self congratulation?

Also, protests against banning the veil in Quebec.

On boobquake, brainquake, femquake, whatever, I say bah. I don't think feminism is really good if we focus only on self empowerment, as everyone can try to be 'the exception' without really changing the status quo. I want to lift everyone up, not just the few.

Help POC bloggers with your cash! We can't depend on the hope of a book deal or parties where the professionally unemployed have their admission comped, so we need to support each other!

Treat veterans with respect, regardless of their gender!

This is a stupid piece of writing. Even if we were all money saints, the issue of scapegoating young folks who have been 'thrown off the ladder' is still important. When people see a group as a trash, etc, they tend to do things that are not only bad for that group, but bad for themselves as well. See the moral panic about welfare queens.

An intersex woman discusses gender.

As a prude, I'm shocked by the idea of hetrosexual couples barebacking...

I don't think appropriating Native American struggles for your point about the horrors of teaching kids the scientific method is cool. I don't seem to remember beating children with sticks and separating them from their families, but oh noes! some children learned about the scientific method before getting into groups and learning how to use a microscope!

About how feminism doesn't have to be cute, fluffy, or sexy.

But learning about those SCARY second wavers would be work! And that's not cute and sexy! Good on this woman for taking down this fluff. You know, this is how feminism is being coopted. Feminism is WOMEN, SO it has to be cute, like shopping! No no no! I know you can sell tons of this crap, but please don't call it feminism.

I think the vanity thing seems a bit blaming of those trapped within the prison of beauty.

Feminism, performance, and doubt.

Instead of being any help on the immigration tip, I am merely enjoying the quality of the writing about it.The bile returning to one's liver, the teabaggers bootstrapping themselves to their own private destinies! Good writing! Let no one say that us POC don't have amazing writers, and that's why we have David Brooks and George Will, with their limp, hateful sentences in our national magazines and newspapers.

Sick professor tries to hide the fact that he is a child abusing sex touristing asshole. It doesn't work.

On condoms as 'evidence' of sex work.

One of the best thoughts on the ongoing moral panic about single black women.

Why focus on lawyers while calling us hairy women privileged to make a statement? What about waitresses in certain restaurants, strippers, etc? I mean...what? lawyers? That's not the best example. I don't know why I don't see lawyers as very marginalized? I know that marginalized women can be lawyers, but when talking about priviledge, I personally would have started with the working class or the poor, and then went on to lawyers as an example.

Time Wise's If the Tea Party Were Black...

What can doctors do about lactation failure?

This post about dirty pictures[personally I think some people would find this a bit triggering. I felt vaguely violated reading it] is pretty interesting. It's about how someone doesn't have to put a gun to your head to be coercive. People who are predators seem to be able to sniff out the person who wants to be accepted, and find a situation where they can maintain plausible deniability. They know that the perfect victim, doesn't exist. Every woman can be accused of something. And they use that knowledge to their advantage. They know they have so many defenders. But, I think every time we say "That's bullshit!", we diminish their power a little. Every time we say- no, that doesn't give you the right! Their power fades a little. not a lot, but a little.

BTW: Sick! This fashion photographer is way over the line!

Man, this is a great post on this boobquake silliness. The booty shorts I wore with writing across my bottom that shocked my mother aren't helping Iranian women at all. They aren't any freer because of my immodest dress. What is helping Iranian women is their own efforts and hard work. Iranian clerics are an easy target, but maybe we should work hard to fight Islamophobia here, which is much harder than wearing clothing we would have worn anyway....

Jay Sennett expands on the theme of loving your body powerfully.

BTW: Hell yeah! Being black ain't a sin, being a woman ain't a sin. I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE!

Despite some problems with this article[it just has a sort of looking down on the third world tone], it's important to know about the rapes of nuns in Asia and Africa.

On a lighter note, yuck. A list of gendered expectations paired with some illustrations.

How do they rate huge salaries for doing this again? While people working like a dog all day get $8 an hour!

What is this shit? Not only is it fatphobic[a perfectly attractive fat woman is apparently a 'lower number'. and what's with this combs break on my hair nonsense? You busting on our hair texture, dude?], ok, ok, reading further, this shit is complete patriarchy filled nonsense! A respectful attitude, my ass! Where are the quizzes to show if a black man is marriageable? What's with the assumption that if you were worthy, you'd be 'wifed up'? And what's with this old fashioned christmas cake ass, OMG, you're over 30 that's a strike, mess?

Where are the posts telling black men to step up and support their kids, instead of treating having a kid as a strike against a woman? What are the posts telling black men that domestic violence makes you unmarriageable?[it's certainly a factor in the break up of many relationships] Shit, where are the posts telling men to get to the gym? This whole thing is such a bunch of sexist twaddle!

The most beautiful post about birthing a new feminism.

Women struggle with various things. Personally I don't like women are like this and men are like that, since I end up being in the woman pile doing stuff I don't like, while sighing enviously at the men pile which looks like fun.

ETA: I don't like the narrative that women shouldn't be 'insecure'... It rubs me the wrong way, like one is blaming oneself for other people's behavior. Like it's an internalization of the idea that men can't change their behavior, so women should just be along for the ride, trying to reshape themselves so they are 'fun' and not 'insecure'.

I probably should trigger warn more, but I am lazy. I agree with trigger warnings, as I don't really want to harm anyone's mental health with my terrible bloggy writings. If your mental health has been injured by my writings, I apologize. Of course, that's no help.

The work of performing femininity is acknowledged by white feminist Amanda Marcotte. I bet she'll get a bunch of BUT IT'S SUUUUPER DUPER FUNSIES in response.

The work of performing femininity is very obvious to me because I am so very bad at it. It requires a sort of detail orientation that I am not good at and also fine motor coordination and the remembering of rules that make no sense whatsoever. And the rules are all different. Like old people think you should wear stockings, but stockings have various rules like what shoes and skirts you can wear them with, and they tear up, and then there's some other random rule about matching things, and anyway, it's all a confusing ball of weirdness that makes no sense. It's like the offsides rule or the infield fly rule, both of which I think probably exist. That's how arcane and absurd the rules are.

I am sadly not sold on the idea of hyper fun femininity to blow the old repressive femininity out of the water. I think that instead of folks saying "Yea, break out of those gender roles, baby", it'll be "Why aren't you like those good proper feminine women? They aren't angry harpies like you."[don't worry, the second those good feminine women open their mouths, they are evil harpies too]. But they'll be hurt by being used as sticks to beat the rest of us with.

Bareback porn[pretty common in het too] is risky for performers. It's not censorship to say hey, this stuff is unsafe for the participants. People always jump to OMG, YOU'RE GOING TO BAN IT to avoid critically thinking about whether dangerous pornography is good for our communities and our society.

BTW: A hate of lolis is not like the Holocaust. LOL.

...Underarms. Magazine editors are against women having underarms.

Maybe body hair is 'unfeminine'. It's not demure, it's not submissive, it exists for itself. Maybe we should explode the concept of feminine, and kick its ass.

The blogdiva is breaking up with twitter. Twitter enables my ADD- you may notice that many of my blog posts are link spams or otherwise very short. This is because I like to gather things and show them, but I don't like to talk at really long length. I just like to talk a lot, if you can get the difference.

Black feminist womanistmusings' son is racially oppressed at school. She is NOT PLEASED.

Of course, instead of making it possible for people to live a balanced life, we'll instead complain about why folks aren't 'making better choices'

Conservatives compare themselves to blacks, so they can pretend to oppression, while denying our real oppression

Reactionary anti immigrant law may increase oppression of our latino brothers and sisters.

A good really, white feminists post.

and tea partiers, we call you racist, because we love y'all at base. We don't want you to go around, actually being racist, which is worse than being called racist- a thousand times worse!- so we call you on it. With love.

That's great for you, dude, now about the children being raped... Sadly, it's tough to balance the needs of everyone who is a sex worker. Folks who are on the Maslow heirarchy of needs tippy top 'worried about our sexual expression' and folks who are on the bottom "I am desperate for food, and shelter and am trading sex for the two' or "I was told I would be able to get a decent job, but here I am, with my visa taken away'. I'm not sure how both their needs can be met.

Dude said gad about on the byways seriously.

Some children get into a fight at school. People make a whole lot of unnesscary comments that aren't helping in the least. No one's going to execute children for fighting, so that suggesstion is useless. Homeschooling isn't a viaable option for many mothers, so that's out. And the kids ain't moving, so that's out. Folks just aren't helping!

I have a different spin on the black male marriage crisis(TM). You guessed it- it's male privilege. Men are socialized to believe they are a prize, despite their actual qualities, while women are socialized to think that if they aren't in a relationship, it's something they are doing wrong. Men are told 'if you're not married, it's the women's fault- their standards are too high, they are too slutty, etc,etc." And like most human beings, they are going to take that out!

So, black men, this is how you can increase your marriageability. Don't buy into toxic masculinity. Being a decent human being isn't woman's work, it's everyone's work. Use a condom. The more kids you have by different women, the less your marriageability is. Trust me on this. And remember- monogamy. Unless you work out some sort of deal, monogamy is the default. Also, train your mind. Read a book once in a while, really, it's sexy. Speaking of sex, it's not just about you. Make sure your partner feels good too, and is enthusiastically consenting.

Oh NO, HAIRY LEGS! WHAT IF A MAN DON'T WANT YOU!!1 NOOOO!!!! And one of the comment writers might be right that the beauty standard has gotten more narrow. Backlash, anyone?

Here's a nice article, ripped straight from the movies, implying that we women need to be desperate for a man. Really, if I was a man who was as much of a prize as folks say, worthy of marriage and long term committment, I wouldn't mind a woman who realizes that just breathing and not being an axe murderer isn't all that is required to be a husband, and possibly, a father. Folks are trying to stick a woman with anybody, and when it doesn't work out, because they simply weren't compatible, they complain she's a single mother.

I don't remember who said this, but someone said that folks want us women checked off- married, check, babies, check, without really thinking about say, whether the two people involved can really stand each other for years on end, or whether their living situations and preferences really mesh. People act like you should give a man you want to marry less scrutiny than a room mate. No, give him more scrutiny. He should be a man of integrity, decency, and a man with your same values. If you don't love him, don't marry him. If you don't like him, don't date him. If you don't want to screw him, don't hook up with him. Really, folks.

Procrastination Monday!

A good piece on rape culture! Folks will act like anything is consent, but only consent is consent. i.e. nudity ain't consent, eating expensive dinners ain't consent, existing in the same room as a man ain't consent, short skirts ain't consent...

We were told to get an education and play by the rules, now all we got is debt. Of course, for every celebrity that's getting paid, there's a thousand folks making a fool of themselves on tv for nothing.

Blergh, the same ol' one woman carps about femininity culture, and that's totally the same as the entire weight of the culture bullshit.

Old white dudes, you don't need to forward every email you see. No one needs to know you're a racist. Keep that to yourself.

Men bored with porn, start wanking it to facebook.

This happy black woman doesn't want to be some man's imaginary perfect wifey. She wants to be herself.

Man, someone is saying my critique of porn in a really intelligent manner! And no, our young boys are NOT watching Lesbian Feminist Orgasmic Divas no matter how much we wish they were.

They are also not looking at this SFW gallery of transmen, genderqueers and studs.

We've been hearing about racial resentment. But what is it? I've prepared a useful and somewhat humorous quiz with examples ripped from real life about how white folks can tell if they are racially resentful or not.

1)You can't get a job in your chosen field. What do you think causes this?

A)I don't have enough experience/education.
B)There's a bad economy and people are reluctant to hire.
C)I don't interview well.
D)Minorities took all the jobs because of preferential hiring!

2)You don't get into your first choice college. What do you think?

A)If only I had better scores/more extracurriculars!
B)Overachievers took all the spots! If only I had did more work and smoked less pot.
C)Maybe I shouldn't have applied to Harvard. Oh well, off to Southwest Community College!
D)Minorities took all the spots!

3)You're in college, and you see a group of people of color at a table. Maybe they are black, maybe it's a table of South Asians. What do you think/do?

A)That lunch looks really gross. What slop are they feeding us?
B)Hey, I think that girl is in my English 101 class!
C)They look like they are having fun.
D)Time to write an editorial about how self segregation is ripping our campus apart.

4)You see a flyer for an NAACP meeting. What do you think?

A)You think about attending.
B)You think that you're really hungry and need some dinner.
C)You think about going to a meeting of whatever your preferred political group is.
D)You think about how if there was a NAAWP everyone'd call it racist,blah,blah.

5)A local school bans confederate flags on campus. What do you think?

A)Who carries Confederate flags anyway?
B)Schools have rules for a reason.
C)Eh, whatever. Only racists and idiots wear those anyway.
D)How dare they discriminate against white Southerners! They let blacks wear FUBU!

6)You hear a foreign language in the library. What do you think?

A)There's a lot of diversity in our area.
B)You wonder if you can learn another language.
C)You try to see if you can understand what they are saying.
D)You complain to the librarian and anyone in earshot about how in America you should speak English.

7)You read a news story about a crime in your area, committed by a person of color. What do you think?

A)What a terrible crime!
B)I feel sorry for the victims!
C)Maybe our criminal justice system is inequitable.
D)If it wasn't for all that welfare we give them, they'd have two parent families, and there wouldn't be any crime!

8)You have to pay taxes to the gov't. What do you think?

A)Well, death and taxes...
B)Ergh, maybe I should have tried to get more deductions...
C)We spend too much money on our war machine. Peace now, man.
D)I hate all those folks living off my tax dollars, while they are all popping out ten babies, etc,etc.

9)You see a woman of color with several children, buying food you disapprove of in the super market. What do you think?

A)Well, to each her own...
B)If only people knew about my superior food choices!
C)You think about the times you have made food choices others disapprove of.
D)You stew about how she's using YOUR TAX DOLLARS to eat food you don't approve of, and has too many kids besides.

10)A political figure is called out for saying something racist.What do you think?

A)How embarrassing. I hope people don't think all white folks talk like that.
B)What a dumbass.
C)Politicians are always saying something dumb.
D)If you reversed the races, it would be just fine! Everyone's always talking bad about white folks.

If you picked mostly Ds, you're probably racially resentful. Congrats! Yes, I realize this is a very middle class biased quiz.

Fun Feminism should also be connected to the fact that every single feminist blogger is somehow near required to talk about how she is traditionally feminine and pretty, etc. She is not scary or threatening or masculine or angry. She is sweet, soft, and pink in pumps. And sadly, no, sleeping with tons of random men will not bring down the patriarchy. Hopefully, if you slept with the right random men, you'll have orgasms. And personally, I think you should all use a condom.

Personally I think fun feminism is a result of feminist backlash. Women MUST be feminine- the existence of women who aren't feminine is downplayed and demonized. And of course, we must minimize the time and effort femininity takes. It takes me only 5 minutes to put my face on! Shaving 3/4s of my body surface area is as simple as dude shaving only his face! It's non threatening to be 'fun'. But the sad part is that no matter how 'fun' you are, when you actually start going into the feminism part, you're a bitch, no matter how feminine you are.

So I like to skip the extra work and go for what I know.

I'm sure a lot of people will be bitching because half don't pay income tax. It never occurs to them that say, those people pay other taxes or the fact that their own tax bitching is why we constantly cut taxes here. Noooo! And dudes, just because you work doesn't mean you'll get a decent job. Even if you went to college, you probably won't be able to get work at all in this economy. And if you drove to your job on a public road, went to a public college, or a public school, ate food that was subject to public laws on not being contaminated, etc,etc, you got help from the government, so STFU. And if you're a poor innocent white male, get off your ass, go to fastweb and look for scholarships. Stop bitching. And yes, sometimes people have children. Even poor people. Suck it up. Why? Because those children, those poor, are part of our nation too.

One nation, indivisible. That includes everyone.

......I'm in shock and horror. D: D: DX

Dude, it's not about oh, those poor students, it's about professionalism. Professors are employees. It'll eventually get out that Prof A is banging a student, which is not going to go over well with the other students. People will believe that the student is getting special favors or the professor might be seen as a scumbag who is taking advantage of a perceived power differential. It's like the rule that lawyers and clients, pastors and parishioners, counselors and clients , doctors and patients don't get romantically entangled- it's not about ruining people's sex lives, it's about being a professional, and understanding ethical issues.

This goes back to a theme that you have all noticed in my posts. Sex is great, but common sense is important too. Boning the hot undergrad in your colleague's Chem 101 class is way way more trouble than it's worth, and yes, sometimes we need policies for those who don't have the sense to think about what's going to happen after they finish.

I don't agree with this folks want a pill because other treatments are work. Cognitive therapy costs cash- and it used to be that mental health was considered second class on many insurance plans so people could not access therapy. Exercise classes are also an expense, and not everyone lives in a neighborhood that is good for exercising. Some may be shamed from exercising as well.

Personally I think if you're working someplace over 15 hours a week, they should pay you because if you're working 30, 40, 50 hours a week that interferes with the ability of most people[I don't mean you who works 120 hours a week yet somehow has the time to be morally superior] to get another job to support themselves.

Is it illegal to make folks work for free in order to graduate school?[in some fields internships are required. And they are almost all unpaid].

Dude, Cohen has sense. He knows that most of his district is not comprised of tea baggers, and many folks are pretty suspicious of their motives. For example, many of us are black, and have the good sense to realize that they weren't worried about the constitution or the deficit when a white dude was running up the credit card with two wars, and saying that it's cool to torture people. Many others have the sense to realize that rich leaders of corporations wouldn't pee on them if they were on fire. Even if they have the same skin color, profits are more important to those folks than people.

Weaksauce from Broadsheet. Whenever we criticize 'art' whether it be pornos, reality tv or video games, we are performing moral and political criticism on fantasy lives. I adore Final Fantasy 13, but I acknowledge that part of my enjoyment is the fantasy of running around hitting people and strange machines with swords with no consequences besides possible world saving. That's a fantasy- part of a fantasy life. But people rightfully criticize Final Fantasy 13. They might say "There should be more people of color in games like this" or "I think the enshrinement of violence in video games is bad for our society".

And we even do criticize 'romance'. The reason why romance novels have moved away from the rapey rapey model apparenty is that people started critizing and saying "really, I don't think she'd fall in love with her rapist. I think she'd actually be quite upset!". I myself love manga, but even though every manga starts as an author's daydream, it doesn't stay that way. So that means that I don't have to refrain from"What? Did a little rape and the love of a good woman just redeem that hottie? Screw that!" No, saying that is what moves our culture forward. The first person to call bullshit is the first person to create a new era.

Young people wise up to the fact that working your ass to the bone is not going to get them any rewards Of course, 18 year olds working at a pizza place are not going to be the touchstone of responsibility, but older millennials like myself are pretty sensible about work-life balance. We don't live in a bubble, and we've seen how companies have treated older people. If a company can lay off a person with 20 years of 60 hour weeks just like that, what are they going to do to someone who has been on the job a year?

And who makes the decisions in the workplace? Is a woman or a man taking some time to say, actually spend time with their children a bad worker or just a good human being? People who work to live instead of living to work might be able to bring innovation and new thinking into the workplace. Do we really need to have three hour meeting every Friday? Can some tasks be streamlined?

Instead of worrying about our 'moral character', let's be pragmatic and make life livable for everyone.

People who spread private sexual pictures of people without their consent are douchebags.

The comments here are sad. A few people are constructive, noting that children need fun activities, but many act like we should lock all children from ages 10 to 21 in the workhouse! When children go to the library, folks complain. When they go to the zoo, they complain. Man, it's like they really hate black children! The problem is that being a shitstain full of disdain for children who behave in any ways that are different from the documentary Leave it to Beaver is that it's tough to reach the youth that way.

I think people like that have given into a despair, and a nihilism that is the mirror of the nihilism and despair that some of our criminals show. By saying "it's just those bad teens who choose to be thugs", they not only other our teens, cutting them out of community, but also cut them out of our ability to make things better.

You don't have to be a parent to make life better for a child. Maybe it's by pursuing policies that make it easier for mothers, fathers, grandparents and other people raising children. Maybe it's by volunteering. Maybe it's merely encouraging your church or community center to have extra programs for the kids that aren't little and cute. But don't give up- children are part of this community too.

trigger warning:

27 men and 1 teenage girl should be ashamed of themselves. Who 'buys' that sort of 'service'?
"Yea, you can rape my 7 year old sister!" "Oh yea! I'll totally do that instead of calling the police or at least someone I know who can stop this from happening!"

Also, college women are not believed when raped. Remember: if she's so drunk she's blacking out, don't sleep with her. You'll be a rapist. Do you want that? Probably not.

Adulthood hits fun feminists with a bang. The sadness of adulthood[a state of mind, not an age, although with age adulthood often follows] is realizing that you're not alone and special in society, but instead you're informed and changed by society. You start to realize that sadly, people are in fact, just looking at your ass, not your amazing feminist ideals, and that's not actually a compliment. The actual reason why fun feminism is so popular in commercial culture is because it doesn't actually require change. It's pretty similar to the reason why 'complaining about the family structure of other people' has become pretty much the only political activism we see here in the south, except for 'bitching about taxes'.

Of course, fun feminism is at least well meant, while acting like all social ills would be solved if only those single mothers would get married corrodes society by blaming women who didn't do anything wrong, and isn't helpful at all, because the single mothers aren't married for perfectly good reasons[child's father is an ass, abusive, etc]. And bitching about taxes drains money from common goods, which makes every thing worse for everybody, except for a few.

These folks mean well, but the awareness model isn't going to push this crap back. Partying against sex trafficking is like playing video games against sex trafficking fun and all, but unless we attack the poverty, lack of options and the idea that women's bodies are worthless playgrounds for the sexual appetites of people who need to be ashamed of themselves, nothing will change.