Now Clinton has gone plum crazy. Without term limits, it's too easy for the public to elect the same guy over and over again. With our current system, no matter how much one president screws up, at least the next president can attempt to remedy the damage, but under this system, we'd probably be stuck with some neo conservative president that keeps us back instead of moving us forward. I'm not saying we couldn't have a string of neoconservatives, but at least they'd have different approaches to the same problems. The no consecutive terms is the only good part, but I can just see the same two guys switching off, while I'm not the black helicopters type, I can see how alliances could be made.

Some more coverage on the Fantagraphics story. Gary Groth on the money problems. I always thought that Gary Groth would look like the chubby small comics magazine writer from Box Office Poison, and that Kim Thompson would look like the skinny one with a receding hair line, but long hair all the same. However, I have not ever seen pictures of them, and plus, it's pretty childish of me to speculate on what the publishers look like when they are in need. But it's so fun anyway.

More fallout from LPC's bankruptcy. Fantagraphics (an indie comic publisher- i.e. not capes and tights) is in trouble now. Over the last year or so, Top Shelf AND Drawn and Quarterly have had financial problems due to this bankruptcy. Well, since I was going to buy something anyway, just couldn't decide, I might just stock up on Love and Rockets.

I love the new boyshort trend that is happening now. Last year, I was idly wishing for tap pants, and wondering how I could get some, now they are freaking everywhere. The closet substitute were unsexy boxer shorts, which were comfortable, but weren�t cute enough. My mother wondered why I got three pair- because it�s like �breast slings� (not exactly a sports bra, lets your breasts be supported yet feels so comfortable, maybe they are called bralets.), the trend may not last, and as it is underpants, it doesn�t matter if it is out of style, and I can have cute panties in perfect comfort for years. Oh, and in other news, the US gov't has plum lost its mind.

Today, I watched Far From Heaven, which was a pretty pleasant movie.
It got in there, made its point, showed its story, with a minimum
of melodrama or why can't we all be friends grandstanding. Julianne
Moore really portrays a naive housewife, really well. Although,
I did not like the music; it isn't really a melodramatic movie
so why does it need melodramatic music?

Yesterday, I watched Moulin Rouge and High Fidelity. Moulin Rouge was very hyperactive, with tons of dazzling costumes and wink and a nudge pop songs. It was very fun, a total spectacle.

High Fidelity was also good. It's such a nice record of a turning in someone's life, a realization. It seemed very real, like it was someone's personal story instead of some pap cliche. Also, it had a good soundtrack.

Today I made a great eggplant pasta. There's nothing better than the smell of sauteing eggplant and mushroom. I may have put in a bit too much red pepper, but that wasn't too bad. Now, a page of good contemporary and retro pinups!I love pinups. I don't know, there's something about the unabashed objectification of women that appeals to me. They have a great sense of fun to them also.

Here is a cute story about terrorists. It's so sweet! Too bad terrorism can't be stopped with love more often.

This is a very interesting essay. I would like to play with form without substance. I would like my clothing to be costumes for what I'd like to be today, but I know that others look down on form without substance- if you look like a hippy, be one, if you look like a trendi girl, be one, if you look like a goth, be one. Maybe that is truly form without substance- as if you can't change your look without changing who you are. Then again, I have noone to be, so why not change it?

Today, I finally watched the 5th episode of Rose of Versailles, a classic 70s anime series about a fictional guard of Marie Antoinette. It is full of the lovely court drama you'd expect such a show to be about, and directed in such a grand style. It is so sad that nowadays anime fans are more focused on the boobies than fine shows like this, but what are you going to say? This show is the precursor to such shows as Brother, Dear, Brother(Onii-sama E) and Utena.

And now for medical horror stories. Breast implants gone wrong. and a shocking case of a very overweight youngster.

Look, it's Death from Sandman! How cute!

Personal Responsibility porn is a new fetish, not for me, but for many people. It allows us to get our lip smacking, and high horsing in, without considering any complexity. We all get off on lynching someone, and saying "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT". However, while that feels really good, I don't think that anyone is going to change because you just said "it's all your fault". But then again, doesn't it feel good to have the illusion of superiority?

My hero of the day is Jhonen Vasquez. Warning, this interview is hosted on Suicide Girls.com which might have pictures of naked girls if you dig hard enough.

Salads are not always healthy. Some people may say how can a salad not be healthy, but they are crazy. Salads are not healthy when you load them up with meat (especially fried), cheese, bacon bits, and a vat of dressing and mix it all up. The sad part is that the iceberg lettuce on which most of these sad salads rest barely has any nutrients at all.

If you want a healthy salad, load it up with veggies instead of meat and cheese. Don't just sit back and have to hear folks moralizing about how bad fat is. Step up, and shut those people up.

Fancy Lala Volume 6 or Shannon Finally Makes Good

Well, I finally received Fancy Lala volume 6 on Saturday. Instead of being charged a ridiculous $40 at Best Buy, I got it for $20 including shipping (although that wasn't the cheapest price-but Deep Discount DVD was out of stock) I made good, and the DVD was as good as I thought it would be.

I really like Fancy Lala, because it's a good anime show that doesn't need all that to be good. It doesn't need panty shots or violence or tons of bishounen or gay innuendo to be good. It goes on, is down to earth even with its fanciful plot (a young girl gains the magical ability to appear older).

An example of this is Miho and Taro's relationship. Instead of trying to shoehorn a romance into the story of kids, they merely grow closer, and there are hints about the future, but it doesn't try to make little kids be like adults. It keeps that integrity.

The end is also an example of this, although there are spoilers for the very last episodes following this sentence. Miho loses her sketchbook, but the story never loses its integrity. There is reassurance here and there- Pigu and Mogu live in all times, etc, but still in a pretty down to earth framework- the magic is gone forever, and Lyrical Pro is left with a mess on its hands. Miho tries to make amends, but her former co workers don't have a miraculous flash of insight, except for Komi, who has seen the Mysterious Man in his youth.

The Texas Democrats are my hero of the day. Instead of giving in to unfair tactics, and then crying tomorrow, they said "Hey, this is unfair!" and cut out. Some people may complain about this, but they were never the underdogs. This is the sort of initiative I can respect, instead of the initiative that most people follow- call people bad if they don't know what to do perfectly at every juncture.

This is a bad historical moment. It's so easy for us to race around saying everyone is bad nowadays, and now I just happened to be in my difficult college years when bad labeling is in vogue. I guess it does have benefits for the person doing the labeling, but our society can't really thrive if we leave the problems unsolved, because just saying someone is bad doesn't do anything.

For example, a depressed person isn't going to cheer up because you tell them they think too much. Actually, you'd make them more depressed if the crux of their problem was rejection by others. You may think casually sprinkling rejection is fun, but by making the problem worse, you have fucked up. So learn to have some sense, fuck ups. Thank you.

Today the link of the day is to the 34 Million Friends . Basically, their mission is to make up for the 34 million Bush failed to send to aid reproductive health in poor countries. While this service does not provide abortion, they provide contraceptives and help for complications in child birth. It's a good cause, and helps to nullify some of the damage that this Presidency has inflicted on the world.

Anime News Network gives some more Lala love. I can't wait til I get the final volume. It's shipping!

Today I woke up and was troubled by a painful memory. Since I did not cause the suffering of others, nor picked any unwinnable fights, which the outcomes were to be blamed on what a horrible person I was, the more steeped in American culture may want to step off and read someone else�s story about that fag they pushed to suicide, and what a loser he was.

Ok, junior year of high school, I of course committed the cardinal sin of being too trusting. Some may say you should always be trusting, but they say that to create more lambs for the slaughter. Anyway, me and an acquaintance of mine from class and clubs were in the same lunch period. Back then my clueless self was aware I could not sit with the pretty and popular or some of the snootier middle classes, but in my naivet�, I thought those people merely didn�t like nobody, and most others would have some sense. I mean, it was just sitting at lunch, for god�s sake!

So I sat with this acquaintance and her friends during lunch. At first, it was ok; I ate my lunch and mostly minded my own business, talked a bit. In my own eyes, I didn�t do anything objectionable, but one of my problems is that I have a hard time making up things to object to. If it isn�t hurting me or isn�t too too stupid, I usually don�t have a problem with it.

Now, one day, I was busy being clueless as usual and eating my lunch, which of course, made me an awful person. So I opened my mouth to say something. I don�t remember. I�m sure you�ll all say it was something foolish at this point, because noone could possibly been mean without some sort of motive. According to people who have never been hurt, pure uncalculated meanness doesn�t exist in this world.

Yet, it did. She said �Don�t you notice that noone listens when you talk? Nobody likes you� and something about how I should go away. No, I did not put up the sort of admirable fight people like to blame you for not putting up. Everyone else was silent, and silence gives consent. Remember that, teens, silence gives consent.

I did call her a bitch and continue sitting there a week in defiance. But I then moved to the library and suffered starvation after thinking it wasn�t worth my health for a lunchroom quarrel. I could eat during English, but in no other class. A year later, the girl dropped out, and I was slightly glad. The people who had tons of friends who wanted to sit with them who were in the same lunch, or those who never desired friends may wonder why I remember this story. I am glad you guys got the brass ring, and never had to work for it.

However, this story is a constant reminder of what I should not do. Whenever I want to give up to my trusting instincts, I remember this story, and how there is danger even in seeming safety. Maybe that is a good reminder even for those who were given the brass ring.

I sure every blog in the entire universe has a link to this, but the new twenty is looking pretty sharp.

Lipstick is my favorite cosmetic. Nothing is better than creating sexy lips with nothing but a swipe of the tube. It's portable, and I love to reapply. The sensuous feel of the lipstick on your lips is just addictive. Lipstick is fun, but I can't see how anyone could pay twenty dollars a tube for lipstick. I wonder what requirements their lips have that can't be satisfied with a regular three dollar a tube lipstick (and even that is a bit of a splurge for me). Sometimes a little splurge can be justified, especially if you want some specifically for women of color-noone wants to look wrong because the colors don't work with their skin tone.

Sequential Tart needs cash! They want to have a booth at a con, and an outreach program for non comics readers. Now that's a good way to celebrate your 5th anniversary.

Today I read Mars. It's the story of an art loving girl and a motorcycling 'bad boy' who fall in love. While it is lots of fun, with many semi melodramatic plot twists on the way, I do not think it will achieve the depth of a Paradise Kiss. However, not all manga must be deep.

I also read Between the Sheets. (which according to this link isn't out, but I bought it at waldenbooks? WTF? Anyway, it's not for kiddies, it has an 18+ rating for nudity and sex talk) It was a pretty straight forward story of a girl falling in love with her best friend. While it lacked subtly at some points, it still managed to tell a pretty interesting story. I think that reading it again would be interesting, because something in the character's psychology strikes me as interesting.

I am on a manga kick lately. I don't want to read a long book, but I want to be entertained. I'm so restless lately.

Here's a nice offshoot of Black People Love Us . Rent A Negro! Have all the benefits of having black friends without the hassles of learning anything at all! Another thing about race that pisses me off is that some people think that you're supposed to be this or that because you're black.

The sad part is half the time blacks are more worried about whether you're a 'real' black than anyone else. I think we could be doing better things than trying to hold someone into some little box. People act like race is some single state thing, but many black people in the states actually have white blood, while they are trying to go around acting silly just to fit into some silly ideal of blackness sold to us by the media and saying how evil whites are.

We should create our own ideals of what we want blackness to be, and mine surely doesn't inculde being materialistic or loud. Mine is the blackness of Toni Morrison and Richard Wright, two intelligent people who worked hard and achieved, and used correct English. I wish the media would push all the successful and intelligent black people instead of the ones who are ignorant.

I think I should try this again. Personal Responsibility is a crock of shit. My advice to everyone is not to forget the long and winding road between hard work and success. There are rain storms on the way and some people get tired more easily than others. Some people may not get there, and it isn't because they are just bad people or just lazy, it's because of bad luck or not having enough talent or not knowing what to do.

I'm sick of everyone thinking you are a good person because you are successful. There really are people who can just wake up, not do much work and succeed, whether they are 'good people' or not. People who are getting there or aren't striving for the same thing get the shaft. People can be good people despite whether they have success or not.

Not to mention, what ever happened to compassion and empathy? I'm not saying you have to put up with just anything, but there is so much more in life than just work hard and you'll succeed. You can do everything right and still fail. Not to mention, you will fail. Everyone fails in their life, so I don't see why some people act high and mighty just because they are having a good spell. I may be in college, but there are so many things that could be in the way of my goals.

I could end up working retail, and getting looked down upon by people who had good luck and think they are better people because they are successful. The world is so big and complicated, but here, we want to make it simple, we want to blame people. If someone gets lemons thrown at them, it's because they subconsciously want to be hit by lemons. I've said it once, and I have said it again. Being an asshole is a CHOICE. CHOOSE not to do it, and don't say that people choose to be victims. The fact of the manner is that you take away our choice. We can't magically not be hit, no matter what responsibility we take.

Today I will be bitching about our society's ideals. First take 'personal responsibility'. Noone could possibly complain about that, right? But most people don't use it to help empower anyone or move anyone up. They use it to reduce a complex problem to one that is simple- just blaming someone else.

For example, weight. It is certainly a fat person's fault if they are fat, right? Why don't they just eat less and exercise? That's all well and good, but some people just won't lose or lose so slowly that while they are losing the weight, you're calling them names. There are personal factors, but there are others too. For example, I am naturally skinny.

There are personal factors, I'm not denying it. I try to eat five servings of fruits and vegetables and not to eat so much horrible stuff. However, there are also environmental factors. I can safely run if I wanted to. I could get up enough cash to join a gym without causing major problems. I can afford to eat decent food and I can understand nutrition information (some high school graduates can barely read) and also through my education, I can tell healthy eating from fad diets. If I didn't have this environment, I either wouldn't know what to do or not be able to execute it.

Not to mention, genetics play a part. If I had a slow metabolism, I couldn't be skinny on just eating a little less. Note that this is a complicated problem- it involves socioeconomic status, safety levels, education, and many other things. It cannot be reduced to simply 'you are fat, therefore you are a bad person'. I think I need another whole entry to fully discuss this since it just scratches the surface of this huge subject.

Racism pisses me off. I mean, how is a whole race of people going to be to blame for what some of them did? Whenever black folks start to talk about reparations, some white folks will talk about how they don't need to pay for what some people who weren't even their ancestors did, but some will turn around and act like all blacks are lazy criminals.

How do they think blacks feel? I am going to college, and doing work, but I don't want to be grouped into someone's misperceptions based on what they saw on BET. When I was going to a college tour for the small private college I attend now, I was in a large group of blacks (yes, there is a minority college tour) and the whole group was waiting for the bus. So some morons decided to lock their doors, like a bunch of black teens could never be up to any good. I mean, no black teens could ever be anywhere for a good purpose, could they?

Sadder still is the fact that people think helping folks is bad because they obviously must be just lazy. Hard work is good and all, but if you don't have oppurtunity(yes, some people have less opportunity than others), you aren't getting very far. If you had the choice between feeding kids on Burger King wages or on the money you can get from getting a criminal, nuff said. Some people will just offer coulda woulda shoulda, but they'd be the first ones selling the rock if push came to shove.

So if you see negative portrayals of other racists or see a black person who is a fool, think of it like you would think if you would if you saw a white person in a negative portrayal or being a fool. The freedom of whites to just stand for themselves, and not have their actions stand for the whole race is a very important part of white privilege.

A link to the Viz Hana Yori Dango covers. (Although nicked as Boys Over Flowers) I am excited. Also spurring anime rumors, here. I need a job.

It seems that Macintosh's new iPod may be the wave of the future. Decent people can preview thirty seconds of a song and decide whether they should expend ninety-nine cents on it. Also, a Windows version of the itunes software is coming soon. That will be the big test-do people want portability and cheapness or just to rip people off?

A few days ago, I was reading a beach side novel about the dangers of unrestrained optimism. Confessions of a Shopaholic is about a woman named Rebecca Bloomwood, who has totally bought into the culture. Obsessed with beautiful clothes, she gets her self further and further into debt. At every turn, she believes that things will turn around. She could win the lottery, or do mail order frames for money or take a job in a shop although she has no idea about working in retail.

Basically, she does everything that a typical American (although she is British) would do. Instead of confronting her problem, she just ignores it and gets deeper and deeper in it. She doesn't seriously consider that her addiction could be ruining her life or attempt to take steps to stop it. Basically, while it is a silly book (I mean, it even has a happy ending), one can glean some commentary on the basic flaws of the Western Consumerism attitude.

Books For Soliders. Seems like a worthy cause.

There needs to be a support group for the non perky. Everyone seems like happiness fascists nowadays. Think positive, put a smile on your face, and similar patronizing crap runs amuck, and for everyone who simple cliches doesn't fix, there are drugs. However, what is one to do when they are not as depressed as not perky.

My 'mood disorder' is actually just having a different personality. I don't engage in positive thinking- I'm too easily hurt. (try believing that people are nice, kind and giving for a day) My moods naturally don't lend themselves to jumping for joy. Most of the time, I feel just fine, but not ecstatic. I personally think that I would be much happier if there wasn't so much insistence that you be happy or positive.

It's like a vicious cycle. The more people try to force me to be happy, the more depressed I become. If people wouldn't be so judgmental about someone not being happy all the time, I'd be a lot happier.

So please, examine your attitudes. The next time you're about to say some patronizing crap to your depressed friends, examine why you feel this way? Would you want to be insulted when you are sad? Why act like a jackass? Do you get satisfaction from being an asshole?

Here is a gallery of erection photos. It is good for men to not feel bad about their penis size, so this may be helpful. But warning, there are pictures of men without their clothes on. Oh no, call in the presses.

Here are some links about the bootlegging problem. This first one is a great rant, this one is about how you can tell a Ghilbi boot from a real DVD, and this is about the criminals you are helping by buying boots.

I'm torn on the digisubs debate. On one hand, I don't speak Japanese, and would like to see the newest most innovative anime Japan has to offer, as well as older, unrecognized gems. On the other hand, I don't want to support the bootlegger mentality that some people just deserve anime for free.

I go with half measures, mostly, only getting unlicensed anime, stuff that is not available here, and then replacing the copies whenever possible with real DVDs. However, I am fully aware of the thousands who are too lazy to pay for a $15 DVD and in fact bleat that it costs too much, yet they are able to afford nice computers and fast connections to download with. Even worse, in my eyes, are people who give money to Hongkong bootleggers. It's one thing to rip others off for free, and yet another to waste money on it.

Hongkong bootleggers also give rise to the 'I'm not paying for this again" idea, which is pretty bad. So maybe they are even worse than just plain digisubbers themselves. Another problem is that many anime fans are young and don't understand how businesses work. They think that anime is beamed in from the sky by American companies. In fact, they have to pay to use the anime, and then pay to manufacture the disks, market them, pay voice talent and translators, and just general overhead. Not to mention they aren't getting as much volume as big box movie studios.

The character of fansubbing seems to have changed since I was a youth. Back then it seemed like groups were subbing to widen the appeal of anime and to work with the industry instead of against it. But nowadays, we have four and five groups that are subbing titles that have been liscensed from before they even were produced. So I don't know what's happened to the scene.

I can see the idea of spreading anime, but the problem is that many people are asshats and can not act responsibly. A problem with that is that things like this can't sustain themselves without money. It's not like comics where one person with a sharpie will always be doing them, it takes big companies and lots of talent to produce one 26 episode anime. I'd ask everyone to try to minimize the damage and buy what they have downloaded the whole series of, but people who would listen already do that, and people who won't listen, don't.

The word of the day is defensive pessimism. It may sound strange, but it really works. Think of the worst case scenario and find out how to avoid it. For example, if there was a test coming up, would you say oh, I'm going to ace it and not study hard, worry you were going to fail and thus study really hard or put panties on your head and race around the dorm? Well,...I think the second one is best, because you are in touch with reality. It may be cute to say you can change your reality, but getting something done often requires close contact with reality.

This site proves that maybe thinking happy thoughts doesn't cure depression, but bright colors sure do.

Got the New Moon article in. Now to fill out paper work and somehow gain a photo of myself.

Some people have recieved their box sets of St. Tail. St. Tail is cute, but not for me, but fans rejoice. And Haibane Reimei is coming. Hopefully, it'll be good. It is from the creator of Lain, but I don't know much about it.

Why are people so strange? Some random chick just knocked on my door just to ask me if I was black. Isn't it sort of obvious? The dark skin, the afro..I might as well have a huge sign on me saying that I am black. I know, I know, I don't sit around in the sun. But lots of black people are light skinned. Urgh.

I watched four episodes of Princess Tutu today, because I am too lazy to study. I love mahou shoujo (magical girl- a show that focuses on a young girl given a magical ability and her coming of age) shows that have just a bit of darkness to them. I think it is because for a fairy tale like story like many of these shows have- Tutu is full of old stories given a new twist, Fancy Lala seems like a Cinderella tale, and even Sailor Moon is taking off of the Snow Queen in the Nehelenia arc(the first 6 episodes of Sailor Stars, the 5th series of Sailor Moon), there needs a real villain for the story to have resonance.

Anime has more freedom than American cartoons, so I really don't get the fans who love Disneyfied anime with things being cheery and happy all the time. Give me drama, give me laughter and tears. I want something I can feel, not just something pleasant.

Today I had another dream. Me and some other people were wandering through this huge Victorian house, with over a hundred rooms. Then finally we got outside and were racing on motorcycles. One straggler's point of view was shown and I thought the camera angles really showed his sense of impotence.

It cut back to me and I was racing on a spiky road thinking of how I'll miss my film teacher. We stopped a blue car and a black guy made this long speech about the guy in the car being a murderer, but there was also a blue truck with pimp something on the side, and I had the feeling that it would be getting away just so we could have the thrill of the chase again.

Today I got all the mail that has been saved up for weeks it seems- a contributor
's agreement thingie from New Moon (wish me luck on the article writing!), a payment notification thing from my job ($16 wooo!), a Victoria's Secret catalog (how did that get in there?) and Happy Mania, a funny manga about a flake who is often used for sex. Not the best manga in the world, but I want to see the second one, so it was pretty good.

I like how our heroine doesn't have to be a good role model here. While most of us understand intellectually that a guy isn't going to be better just because he's hot, it takes the rest of our bodies some time to catch up to our brains. I remember being asked by some silly sisters if the guy I was going on a date with was hot, first question out of their mouths. I just said no, to confuse their pea brained perceptions. The sad part is that we're in college, not high school.

Today is a great book day. Today I got Drawing On The Right Side of the Brain. Hopefully I can learn how to draw. I also got a new issue of Bitch magazine. God, I love this magazine- there's just so much stuff in it, and all so great. It's a woman's magazine without that boring shit about buying shit or makeup tips. Instead, they debate whether sex work is feminist or not. I still haven't decided on that one, actually.

In the future, I might buy some books that the Yuricon folks are publishing. Basically, this is girl/girl amerimanga. Amerimanga is American comics in a manga style. Sounds intriguing and for ten bucks, well, it's worth a try.

It's final exam rush time. Now for something confusing.

More Peter Bagge.

Quote of the Day: "Debt is Slavery"

Anime picture collection. Warning: some boobage.

Note to nice guys- no matter how many average girls you ignore or scorn, ten hot supermodels will not fall from the sky and offer you blowjobs. You may blather on and on about levels and how you shouldn't settle, but let me tell you something- the females that are attracted to you are your level. If supermodels aren't begging you to let them give you a blow job, you are probably not on the same level as them.

You may have seen Love Hina or some romantic comedy in which the beautiful woman falls for the guy because of his essential goodness. Don't believe it. There's a reason why it's a movie. If you can't accept the girls on your level, don't complain about it.

I love whining. I love to gripe, complain, whinge. But there's a limit, and Oh poor me, supermodels don't want to fuck me, is that for me. You know all those guys wandering around with girlfriends? Making you feel like shit? You know how they got those girlfriends? Not by saying OH MY GOD, I couldn't be seen with you! So the bottom line is guys with standards are celibate, and guys without get laid. If you'd rather be celibate than date a normal woman, that's your choice, so shut up.

Unfortunately, I seem to be non too clever (the contact link on ennh's blog seems to give me 'enter your own email' as the address) so I will say this here. I only mentioned ennh to say that he/she had mentioned me. But the whole rest of it was unrelated, and had nothing to do. Uh..well...for some of you, sexylosers, (warning, sexual content) for the rest, americanelf!

Just a story on how Bush is undermining women's reproductive health. I don't get why politicians are always so against women making their own choices. It's almost like they want people to suffer. I mean, it's all well and good to feel morally superior, I enjoy a good bout of moral superiority in the morning, but if you have to endorse needless suffering because you wanna feel superior, what's the point?

I'm not saying you have to like a woman having a right to decide what to do with her body, but come on, if it was up to some of these loonies, we'd be fucked if the condom broke or even if the pill failed. They may say no premarital sex, but it's not like even married women can afford to keep popping out babies like it is nobodies' business, the culture has changed, and the days of four and five children households, well, that's craziness. Actually some think we shouldn't be using the pill at all, but that's too crazy to be creditable. Hardcore Catholics may disagree, but..

Yes, mental torture does cause mental illness. To morons who think mental cruelty is just a 'few insults'. No, it is not. It's being insulted over and over for years. It's being exculded wthout mercy, being treated like you are subhuman and just being shat on from a high height. You can't beat up a bully- YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE, NOT THE BULLY. Not to mention, you'd get beat up, but zero tolerence only works against victims, and for bullies. The bullies aren't going to stop their cruelty and now you can't even choke the bully on the hall floor. People who are 25 and 30 crack from mental cruelty, and you expect a 12 year old to pretend it doesn't matter?

Although, it is somewhat better then because at least you can pretend bullies will ultimately fall. But I think bullies just keep doing it for the rest of their lives, spreading mental illness and disabilty like noone's buisness. I think bullies should be shot. I mean, it's THIER mental problem, not the victims. Why would you sacrifice someone who is decent for the sake of someone whose only use in life is causing suicide? So all you sticks and stoners, do me a favor, put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.

YES! It seems Hana Yori Dango manga is hitting in July (under the names "Boys Over Flowers" YES! and only 9.95! (Also, Wedding Peach which is sweet, but not as exciting as Hana Yori Dango)

ennh says that my blog makes him/her wish that blogs were around when he/she still cared about ranting. While he/she is entitled to his/her opinion, I'd like to use his/her words as a jumping off point to say a few words about bullying, because the thing that pissed me off was not just the rampant homophobia, it was the idea that people deserved to be harassed for any reason.

Some always blame yourselfers will go around trying to say that it is your fault you're being bullied. Don't listen to them. Noone needs to be tied up in knots trying to blame themselves for what others have done. It's just plain silly; people at advanced ages like 30 and 50 still feel hurt when people reject them or make snotty comments, and they are more mature and can at least quit. When you're in high or middle or even elementary school, you have to be in that building every day and can't escape. Your self image is also more delicate than it is when you're older.

So the next time some 'blame your selfer' tries to blame your childhood abuse on you, say that personal responsibility goes both ways. I'll apologize when I have done something wrong. And no, reading books or not being pretty does NOT qualify.

Today in sociology, I watched this movie, and it made me so mad. It was about Gays in the workplace, and how some bigots can't keep their moronic ideas to themselves. It's not so bad to be homophobic if you want to waste your time hating someone or maybe just mutter a prayer for their souls or something. But if you think you have to put their faces on triple x photos and put them in the company breakroom or paint someone's car with anti gay slurs or beat someone up or fire perfectly good workers because they might want to lick pussy in their spare time, you have a problem.

Not only are you a worthless loser of a human being, you don't have good economic sense. You're running off workers who are qualified and competent just so you can indulge your little hate party. If a lesbian wants to cook food and is doing it as well as anyone else, I don't care unless she's licking pussy on top of the food! And as for the 'children', what if the children are gay? What if you have some little 12 year old who is just waking up and finding that yea, guys are hot? What are you supposed to do then?
And all you people trying to use religion to justify hate, just stop it. You're ruining good religion. Religion can be used to help people and here you are using it to justify your hate crusade. God, homophobics make me sick.

Today I cut off my hair. The (black) stylist asked me over and over if I wanted it done, and I said yes. I guess it would seem strange to some people who had aspired to shoulder length hair for years, but my hair wasn't doing much for me underneath a hat. Interestingly enough, a white lady was supportive telling about how she was nervous about cutting her hair.

I bought some head bands at CVS. It feels good to walk around without a hat. (It's 80 degrees here) I am pretty interested in not having to fool with it for a while.

Yesterday, I received two mini comics, which are self published comics with usually a small print run. The title of both of them was Nonsense (#1 and #2). The writer/artist is a guy by the name of Steve Clark. The first involves his creepy man who is naked yet has no genitalia and his mental state. I liked the funny pay offs in both of the stories, one of which involves the man going to the mental hospital for a suicide attempt, and the other involving the man's general solitude.

The second which I enjoyed a lot involved the man's dating problems. The first story was about a young woman with mental problems whose boyfriend abuses her. The other characters in the story are represented as rabbits. To me, there were funny bits, but maybe I have a weird sense of humor. The other story was about how the man watches unrealistic love comedies and then totally misinterprets a lady not being attracted to him. I thought this was funny, but then again..

The drawing style is pretty good, clear lines, and such. I obtained them by writing to his email (Jihad4bush@hotmail.com) and requesting the comics. Since they don't cost anything, there's nothing to lose by trying them. Sometimes I wish I was good enough to do a mini comic.

.This site explores the idea of black women accepting their hair. Many people may not know this, but Caucasian hair is held up as ideal in American society. Turn on BET and you'll see a lot of black women with bone straight hair, but that is not natural, and requires a lot of processing.

If you have ever seen a woman or a man with an afro, that gives you some idea what black hair actually is like. It is pretty kinky, and while versatile, some people think it looks ugly in its natural state. I think it looks fine, and want to get back to my natural state, since I hate having my hair relaxed.

This is pretty awesome. I didn't even know that this existed til a few minutes ago. Well, there goes my calc homework.

I have had several dreams lately, but I remember only fragments.Today's dream involved me in fields of grass and concrete, searching for pieces of songs. I remember being in a car with my brothers, one of their friends and two guys I have never seen before and they were in a band. I remember the big performance, too.

The band was both performing and watching the performance. My oldest brother had a chorus line of girls dancing next to him, and some guys in the front were getting pretty crazy. Some of my schoolmates( black, one clad in a head wrap, wrap around shirt and long skirt) were painting glittery textiles. The friend of my brother remarked we all smoked because of his brother.

Another dream involved me living with my Japanese teacher. I kept spilling bowls of rice and having to vacuum it up with an ineffective dust buster.

In another, I was wandering around the mall. I think I was looking for the platonic shoe ideal, and a hair dresser. One said they couldn't do my hair there, it was closing, but gave me a list of all the chain in the area and their phone numbers. I was eternally grateful.

Today has been a great day for links. We Love The Iraqi Information Minister is full of hilarious quotes from our favorite reality challenged Iraqi.

Also, I find the idea that there is some sort of ideal vagina pretty strange. Also, the weirdest part about this site is that someone has some sort of vested interest in making people feel bad about their vaginas. A quote- "Men are not interested in female genitalia which present deformities, although most men will have intercourse with a woman who presents some degree of labial deformations. They will not seek a long term relation ship with her because of her abnormal vagina."

I can just imagine the conversation:

Man: Our relationship..it's great...

Woman: Yea?

Man: This really has been the best six months of my life, but..

Woman: But?

Man: It's your labia, they're asymmetrical.

Woman: And...?

Man: Under all that hair...oh, it's so coarse, god, your vagina..it just isn't pink..

Woman: I'm black, fool.

Man: Ooh, I just can't go on!

"Words come and go, how did nigger last so long?"- comic on comedy central.

IThere is a difference between laughing with and laughing at. 2 stories:

We were playing cards in the sci fi club and in this game, we matched cards that seemed alike or that seemed funny. Green card was the word we were trying to match. Red was our card. Green card was outrageous, and my red card was Bangkok. The guide was tickled and I was winner of that round.
A guy siiting next to me was like you crazy bitch!
and we all laughed.

Another story. At a school dance, I was taking a break from badly gyrating my body to horrible rap.
I stumble across two people- a guy and a girl who I had been slightly acquantanced with over the last semester.
He greets me in a mock southern accentas and she tries to hide her snickering

Which is laughing with and which is laughing at?

In a spirit of boredom, I have decided to modify a small portion of the Communist Manifesto. Maybe the sharper among you can guess whose voice it is 'speaking'. The modification is in brackets.

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.

[Oh, you're such a drama queen!}

Freeman and slave, patrician and plebian, lord and serf, guild-masterand journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another

[It takes more muscles to frown than smile!]

, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes.

[Me, me, me, that's all you talk about]

In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society into various orders, a manifold gradation of social rank.

[Stop whining!]

In ancient Rome we have patricians, knights, plebians, slaves; in the Middle Ages, feudal lords, vassals, guild-masters, journeymen, apprentices, serfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate gradations.

[You'd be happier if you lightened up!]

The modern bourgeois society that has sprouted from the ruins of feudal society has not done away with class antagonisms.

[Just get over it! It's not that crucial!]

It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones.

[Happiness is a state of mind!]

I don't feel well today. But this page is cool.

Blogging is great. It allows everyone to attempt to get their voices heard, on a daily basis. Sure, many can't spell or write, but they can at least try to get their thoughts out there. For me, personally, I am aware that my writing is not good enough to be in magazines, to inform the masses, and in real life, my voice can not be heard over all the shouting of others.

On a completely different note, one of my pet peeves is someone who gripes when you 'whine' and then starts talking about themselves. It'd be alright to be mad at someone for whining if you never did it yourself, but if you're telling someone to shut up about how their grandma was run over by a trolley, and then ten minutes later, start to talk about how horrible your hangnail was, what was the point?

It seems more like you are saying I am more important than you, than anything about the content of that person's thoughts. That's ridiculous. Noone human being is more important than any other.

And I'll leave this with an old and busted fable spruced up in new clothes: Once a man gained the ability to see heaven and hell. In hell, he saw the usual fire and brimstone, but in one chamber, he noticed a pot. All around it were broken spoons and the bodies of the denizens of hell scattered liberally. Around him, all he could see was the flurry of bodies and all he could hear were groans of pain and assertions of superiority.

He didn't like it there, so he went up to heaven. The air was cool and clean and filled with quiet conversation. Among the clouds, there was a pot, same as there was in hell. However, there was peace, as the denizens of heaven all fed each other. The man asked about this, and was told " Who can be higher than his brother?" The man was enlightened, from that day on.

I guess that wasn't a very good story, but I just made it up in two seconds. Give me some slack.

This is the fabric I bought to patch up my jeans. They are ripped to the knee, so if I fail in patching them, it is no big loss. And here is a heart warming blog about a guy's fight against anxiety.

A very moving site about some people's struggles to educate Japanese doctors about AIDS.

It's pretty obvious our culture is not a nurturing one. Millions are popping Prozac, and many take solace in TV and shopping. I wish there was something I could do to make our culture less toxic, to make it less based on who is 'cool' - i.e. the biggest asshole, and more based on helping each other, supporting each other, making the world better.

I don't know what to do, some people try to combat it with religion, but that is just as full of folly as our culture itself. Noone listens to me, and I have no particular talents. Some people of course will wonder why I am writing about it instead of making some intuitive leap and being able to do something. I find that I must clarify what I am looking for to be able to find it.

Time.com is very interesting today. It is good to see people covering dissent without kneejerking into 'well, they MUST be anti-American, or most ridiculously, 'they don't support the troops' (which is pretty damn stupid, if they didn't support the troops, they'd want the troops to die, not to come home safely and be with their families)

There is also an article on the difference in Arab and Us news coverage of the war. Hopefully this will open some people eyes, so they realize that there is always more than one side of the story. Realizing that different people can be correct at the same time may take some doing.

Two opposing views can be true at the same time. Saddam can be evil, at the same time, liberating people with bombs can be a silly idea. Personally, I can not march for peace today, because as usual I am worried about my calculus. I should just get up the courage to do it, but I feel so weak. I simply can't understand it at all

However, I would like to caution against thinking of people as all evil or all good. People who thought that way were the real perpetuators of 9/11. All us infidels needed to be destroyed, not seeing that the 'infidels' were good and evil and most in the middle. Good and evil doesn't see the complexities of life, how both good and evil can live in one person, without one winning over the other.

Wallpaper of the week. Lain this time, of course.

(slight spoilers for Lain) My favorite part of Lain is her multiple selves. I have always felt as if I had multiple selves. I guess it started as I became aware of how others perceived me. I was something strange, an alien, but I did not internally feel that way. When gossip was added to the equation, it became even creepier.

I don't know why, but I feel slightly uncomfortable with the idea that behind your back people are forming this whole self for you that has nothing to do with you. That people are not reacting to you, but this different self they have created for you inside their heads. To me, it feels like someone who looks like you is roaming around the country and doing despicable acts, and everyone thinks that it is you.

It is like the alter lain here. This horrible diseased personage that can not be killed. The worst part is that the truth will not dissuade others from believing what they want to believe; the sounds of their own minds drown you out. Somehow the need for a scapegoat, for blood, for ritual slaughter of the enemy, real or imagined, overwhelms the truth.

I hope I'm just making this all up.

Today I feel pretentious, so I'll remark on how each day never comes again. There will never be a day with exactly this feeling. Even if I oversleep my calculus' teachers office hours again, it will probably not be with the same reason-my alarm clock did not go off) or with the same threat of the test.

Even if I pop into the Women's Center trailer again, it won't be with the same sense of adventure, the same easy summoning up of the courage to ask about the massage therapy.

Even if NPR is on all day again, the news will never be the same, for each day is different. I'll never read Writing Down the Bones again in the dorm bathroom, dubbing 'doing your calculus' in for 'writing' as the author urges us to 'cut through and write'

I think my spell has passed. Oh well.

I really like NPR lately. Not only is there interesting programs (right now I am listening to the author of 'Teaching Lolita in Tehran' talk about her experience in Tehran) one can just relax and take it in. Although I don't have a TV nowadays, so NPR is in TV's place right now.

I normally do not watch much TV, actually. I like DVD better because it works on my schedule, not theirs. But I hear about all the great programming on Cartoon Network like Futurama, and I wish I could see it.

Here is a link to a site listing some self published comics. Warning, some are not for children. Later, Sequential Tart's new content will get a look.

Now girls, remember not to douche. It can cause vaginal infections. Also, this is merely a worthy site filled with infomation that all teens should know, about stds and suchlike. So remember to donate so that the infomation can get out there. This is not such a good time to be a teen, what with the war and the rampant conservativism, so...

I have no sense of humor so I don't like April Fool's Day. Then again, if I was the lucky person who never was the butt of cruel 'humor', I'm sure I'd love it. Although something awfulis actually pretty funny this April Fool's Day, opting to be funny instead of stupid and unfunny.

I actually like humor, but only things that are funny. I don't like slapstick humor much or grossout humor. Slapstick is ok if the gag is well crafted, but I'm not going to be all ho ho ho that guy just got kicked in the nuts. Grossout humor, well, I never really was ever fixated with my bodily functions, so when someone farts, I'm just thinking 'oh, someone farted. That was supposed to be funny?"

I like word based humor best, also character based humor. However, those are the most rare types of humor because they are much harder to do, than other types.Humor based on a character's human foibles must be set up and the character must be developed, which is much harder than having a baseball hit someone in the nuts.

My most disliked type of humor is humor with hostility behind it. Everyone knows the type. This person will say the most horrible things about someone and then hide behind 'it was a joke'. Well, people like this, you are not funny. If you have something to say, I think it is better to either have the bravery to say it right out or the sense to keep your trap shut.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Very busy and plus I always think if I have time to do a blog, I have time to write a thing on subway series..

I managed to repair my stocking! While this is not an exciting revelation, except for in my non sewing world, I would like to notice that this defines who I am today. Yesterday, I was a feminist, conquering new world with style. Today, I am feminine, daydreaming of the possibilities of hemming a husband's pants. I wonder what I will be tomorrow!

Today I am wearing a costume. Navy blue hat, with a split in the brim and a white ribbon. Same ankh as yesterday. A white with swirly gold bracelet. A regular sleeveless black top with grey and white stripes across the chest(I think it's too short, so I have a jacket around my waist). I also have a long black skirt with lace on the bottom, lacey stockings with flower patterns that won't stay up and shoes that are black with silver 'buckles' I''m not good at describing shoes.

My makeup is lavender eyeshadow from the black opal line and red brown lipstick. I'm not too good with makeup. I worry my nail polish is chipped, but as this costume is sort of a reward for getting out of bed and attempting to go to office hours( couldn't find teacher's office) I am not sweating it. At least I have some encouragement to go and do my calc since I am already up.

I have even more ambitious plans. I have a fantasy that I will buy one piece of clothing a week to spruce up my wardrobe. However, it would have to be the platonic ideal of what I wanted that week. In a short time, I'd have a very vibrant wardrobe, which would allow me to dress for moods. However, I'm sure I don't have enough money to do this, obviously.

Today I bought Naomi Wolf's Promiscuities. I have decided for today I am a feminist. Tomorrow I will probably be something else. It's like a costume for the mind. I wish I could wear a costume everyday, but that would involve totally changing my wardrobe. So I make due with small touches like hats and necklaces, but it is not totally satisfying.


Thing I am glad I am not for today. A queer 16 year old from Milwaukee who is a high school dropout and makes documentaries using a fischer price camera. Although, Sadie Bennings didn't do too bad at it.

Fun manga rumors- according to a B&N listing it looks like Wedding Peach, Hana Yori Dango and Flame of Recca may be liscenced. A lot of entries today. I'm in extreme procrastination mode.

In gym today, the speaker preached to the choir about not overdoing it. Despite the fact that very few college students work out enough to injure themselves from the pure intensity of their workouts, he focused on people who were already working out, only giving one helpful tip( take a ten minute walk break after an hour's hard study) and only giving a few if you don't exercise bad things will happen type of sayings to the rest of us.

Pro exercise people usually do it all wrong. Telling us we have to exercise an hour a day or bad things will happen isn't going to get most of us off our butts and exercising. Most people don't enjoy exercise- thinking of it as painful running or embarrassing weight lifting or sports. What I think they should do is think of some exercise that can be integrated into the lifestyle- taking the stairs, sets of sit-ups when there are commercials on TV, biking to things that are close instead of driving(good for the environment too) and promote it.

Also, they should promote fun, non judgmental exercise. Talk more about jumping roping, and dance classes. Promote classes in which fat people feel comfortable. Don't just preach to the choir, get out and outreach! I personally will only exercise for some other reason. I'll walk the five minutes to the store, but I'm not going to lift weights in the middle of a gym. There must be more people like me out there, you know?

Totally obvious flash of insight for today. People aren't standard. They have different reactions to the same thing. For some people, having a shitload of work, and not enough time to do it in is immensely stressful. Some people will attempt to do all the work, some will do only the most important one, some will procrastinate, some will angst, some will keep it quiet, but lash out later.


Just because people have a shared experience does not mean that it is the same for others, or that you can expect them to have the same reaction to them as you. So before you say "BUT everyone else is working full-time and fighting off the Nazis and liberating Iraq and studying for the MCAT and getting all their calculus right on the first try and writing ten 20 page essays to be read by the president and being an intern at the White House while giving candy to orphans and tutoring them in long division, so why aren't you being cheerful right now?" I would advise you to stuff that thought up your ass, OK?

I am glad I do not have cable right now. On our school's TV channels, they have Al-Jazeera. Yesterday, I was talking to this guy about the war coverage, and according to him, all they have been showing is corpses.While propaganda cuts both ways, the American propaganda is more comfortable-more showing missiles hitting their targets, less coverage of the effects.

The problem with war is that it is not just an effect, it is also a cause. We cannot know what this war will cause, but as with our selling chemical and biological weapons to Saddam, our entire future will be changed by it.

Unwrapping packages is a lot of fun. I am taking out my costume for today's school dance. My dress with the black leotard top and the colorful flared bottom smells old and musty like the vintage clothing shop I got it from, the chunky bright bracelet I have smells like incense as I got it from a vendor wearing a dashiki and a Sean John jean jacket. My spiral necklace does not smell like much of anything. I got a spiral because it is my symbol. However, it may not be a very cheerful symbol, because you never hear of someone on an upward spiral.

However, the pinwheels you sometimes see in anime are thought to imply youth and innocence I hear. So I guess I should think of it like that.

My PE class was very sensitive today. Today was the day we make comments about the class apparently. There were the usual normal comments like we should have more speakers with first hand experience and maybe have someone speak on anorexia. However, concerning the political sensitivity of the class, there were a lot of interesting comments.


According to my classmates, the lecture should be more sensitive to heterosexuals, blacks, women, people of college age and the non religious. The complaints ranged from very perceptive ones like noticing that in all the negative health outcomes pictures, the people were black, and that calling rape non consensual sex is soft peddling the brutality a bit, to things as pervasive as the shock value tone of some lectures, especially the one on STDS, and the overall pro religious tone of the text book.

I have secretly had some beefs with some of these issues myself. For example, young people of college age are a bit too old to use the shock value gruesome pictures on. Many people in college have seen this sort of lecture before, and would like to move forward in more detail. Also, people in college tend to be a bit smarter than people in high school. College weeds out the people on the bottom by requiring certain grades and test scores, and thus the level of discourse can increase, I believe.

I also hated the tone of the text book "An Invitation to Health". It's got that smug perky tone that makes you believe it was written by some prig who thinks that you should just keep smiling if your roof fell in. Couple that with a lack of factual information about health, and you have the makings of a painful book to read.

I find Chobits a bit disturbing. While others may be saying "Awww, but it's a guy and his robot! What a cute robot!", I do not feel comfortable with a child coded character being such a blatant sex object. In other anime, characters with young appearances and young ages have been seen as sex objects. However, these characters are usually in adult or at least teenage roles. They are mecha pilots, superheroes, or just normal teens. I can deal with a person with the mentality of a 11th grader being thought of sexually, because people at that age have an idea of their own sexuality, even if it's not a very good one.

But Chii is very child like. She does not understand the implications of her actions (being a machine, she takes things very literally ) and often imitates others like a small child. The biggest offender in the sexualization of Chii is her ill fated attempt to get a job.

She starts work at a peep show, totally unaware of the implications of what she is doing. It's the equivalent of a mentally retarded person being a sex worker. They may 'decide' to do it, but they don't have the capacity to consent. This scene would have been more comfortable if I could be assured that most people would get what I assume is the intended meaning-whoa, that's creepy. However, for everyone who has that reaction, there is probably some guy polishing the meat, fantasizing about the future of robotic sex toys.

I wonder if that is the intended effect. Are we supposed to philophisize about loving an object instead of a human being or are we supposed to get out our credit cards and buy some Chii body pillows? (note towards the bottom)I hope it's the former, but I worry that too many may be doing the latter.

I really like those Viactiv calcium chews. I mean, they taste like caramel and they provide calcuim, which is important for young women who never drink milk. I'd drink milk more often, but people who are slightly lactose intolerant really shouldn't. Speaking of calcuim, I have read people saying "he must have a calcuim defiecency' in two manga: Peach Girl and Chobits, I believe. I wonder if it's some sort of Japanese folk belief? Sorry for the bad journal today. Busy busy!

I miss the nineties. I remember when all the countries were laughing at us, but just because the President was doing an intern. I remember when dropping some bombs in Kosovo was taramount to evil. I remember when the economy was booming, and the future seemed to be bright.

My life is better now. I am in college now. But I certainly wish that I had gone to college in those days. When it seemed like peace would go on forever. When the world was behind us, and we only had mini wars. Well, wishing for it back won't give it to you, but..

I'm back from Spring Break!

Subway Series is a cool comic about our protagonist Tina discovering her freedom to be fucking tense. Yes, there are some fucked up relationships, but the moment of enlightenment for me is when she says, �I love being tense� We�re all supposed to be such fun lovers. We�re supposed to lighten up, loosen up, relax, and etc, etc, etc. However, here Tina is accepting her tenseness. She�s not letting others make her feel bad about being tense.

A lot of the time, it�s very easy to feel bad because others judge you. Earlier, Tina and her friend were in an art gallery looking at a picture of a rotund woman. Tina was marveling at how fleshy she was, and her friend was just that�s what a woman looks like. This simple scene says a lot about how Tina�s head was so filled with what society tries to say to everyone. Tina�s not a stick figure, she�s got an �ass like a thousand bulldozers� according to one of her �friends�, but still she is surprised even at the basic level of seeing a woman of normal size.

Subway Series doesn�t give some huge cosmic revelation at the end. In fact, this whole thing is just my interpretation. I�m sure there are as many interpretations as readers.

I don't know what to think about body hair. I mean, on one hand, it is natural, and probably serves some function. On the other, our society seems pretty picky about it. It's like someone handed a set of tablets down from the heavens saying "No woman may have hair any place but her head.".

I play along, shaving my legs and my armpits, but sometimes I wonder if I should go the way of the porn star? I mean, really, it would make swimsuit shopping much easier. But then I remember I don't swim. Then again, this is the same society that thinks the natural texture of my hair(nappy) isn't good enough for it, so bleh to that.

I guess that didn't make much sense. However, beginning tomorrow, I'll be having a lot of spring break adventures.

I feel better after puking all day Saturday! So it's time to write on frivolous topics. It seems that Fancy Lala has been getting a lot of attention from Anime News Network lately. Within the last week, volumes 2 and 3have been reviewed, and volume 5 has been given a good mention in the Shelf Life column. I would like to note that while volume one and two's reviews are in ANN's tradition of actually reviewing the show, pointing out the good points and the bad points without resorting to the LOLOL it's soooo kyute and funni style of anime reviews prevalent on the web, the volume three review seems a bit skimpy.

Although any excuse to mention Fancy Lala in this blog is a good one, I will use it as a jumping off point to explore the idea of a critic's darling anime. Anime is a very fan orientated hobby. Most anime critics (save for regular movie critics that only review theatrically released anime) are just anime fans who set up a website and let their ideas rip. Obviously, it does not take any training in criticism or writing to just set up a website, so much of the time, we have gotten reviews like this.(they seem to get worse as you go down)

The favorite shows of the reviewers tended to (and still tend to be) the mass market fan favorites. If the hot new show was Hot High School Chick Fighter Tits, that was what got the good reviews, and the attention, unlike movie reviewers who tend to focus more on the Oscar Contending Star Power Pic or the Obscure Indie. Then again, movies have a whole criticism culture built up around them.

For example, Ebert is a household name, and there are lots of classes in film criticism. While there are plenty of just set up a website critics, at least they have print critics as role models. There's also not much incentive to be a good anime critic. Very few people in anime fandom really care if you go beyond kyute and funni, and frankly, that's less effort.

Tiny little selfish moment of nonexistent glory-my essential on Paradise Kiss is on Savant now. Read it!

The incident reports in the school newspaper are pretty dull. Most of them involve stuff like some frat boys had a fight or someone smelled some weed. Not actually saw it, smelled it. The most interesting report is that a guy complaining of chest pains was picked up on a warrant from another state. Fun.

I'm pretty worried about my hair lately. I must get it done, but finding a black hair salon close and affordable seems a bit worrying. One of my pet peeves is that certain groups of people do not understand that black hair needs special care. They think black hair is actually naturally straight, and behaves like European hair. WRONG, my ignorant members of other ethnic groups!

While aware that actually knowing something about people from another ethnic group is just too hard for some, it's pretty annoying. I mean, broaden your horizons, people of a certain ethnic group! Come on, ignorance isn't cute, it isn't funny. When you display your colossal ignorance, you make yourself a target for being laughed at behind your back. So don't be a dumbass!

Although, a lot of other groups tend to be a bit whitewashed in classes. I had a good history teacher and thus had to do a report on African civilization, but if I was in the regular class, I wouldn't have known this at all. I remember an incident in high school in which we were talking about the fact that AP history students had to read a book about women's history. A girl from the regular track was like women haven't done anything, the book is going to be like two pages long. However, the actual book was about three hundred pages.

Then again, even pompous asses like me don't know everything. For example, I didn't know Ida B Wells was a sociologist(her Red Record recorded infomation on the social problem of lynching) or that W.E.B. Dubois had published a book length sociological study of blacks called "The Philadelphia Negro". However, I actually do try to learn something from time to time, unlike some people. Assuming that only one culture can do anything important isn't really a very useful way to see the world. We need to incorporate lessons from all histories to really make sense of what was going on.

Today I watched the second episode on the 5th disk of Fancy Lala. It made me cry. This episode involves Lala working with her mom. She sees that her mother has a whole life that she knows nothing about, and becomes insecure and worried. I don't know why I cried, but somehow the way it managed to portray those childhood fears, touched a cord in me.

Although, on the other side, children have a whole life that their parents know nothing about. In keeping with the whole Lala metaphor here, Mrs. Shinohara certainly doesn't know that her daughter is using magic to transform into an older girl. When Mrs. Shinohara thinks Miho is off playing or with friends, she is really working hard to become a star.

I really appreciate this episode. I like an anime that is able to evoke an emotion in me, to make me remember it. I am slightly unhappy that I have to wait til May to see the end, but then again, I feel slightly sad that it is ending at all. At least I'll have an excuse to marathon it.

Moved into my new room. Lots of stuff was left behind it seems. There were some handy items like a lot of milk crate like book shelves, and a power strip. However, there were a lot of strange items in what I had assumed was a trash can filled with trash. I dumped the Kix, chips (lots of cheetos there), candy, monistat, and the feminine cleansing cloths. Just in case you need to clean your cunt on the go, because we all know that vaginas smell just so horrible!

(Actually, to tell the truth, if your vagina smells like fish, well, it may be time to go for a gynecologist check up. That odor may be a sign of infection)

I kept some calcium chews, about a hundred panty liners and a zillion Q tips. The other trash can had trash and office supplies. I retained a sparkly pencil and a highlighter. Today was satisfying. Although I had no free time from 7:45 to around 4:50, I managed to get calc tutoring, go to the soc symposium, do my Japanese test, learn that Episcopalians can have women priests and do my 'job' (i.e. tutoring kids) Luckily I tutored in reading today. I hate tutoring math.

Taking time out from my busy schedule (I'm moving tomorrow!) to note that Iraq has started destroying its missiles. But it seems that Bush just won't be satisfied with compliance with the UN's demands! Dude, don't front, just say that you want a war just to have one.

Pretty-ugly girls suck. I wish that I could find a good realistic depiction of teenage life in Hollywood more often. I don't want to see dream fantasies about how if us ugly folks just change our hair and put on a bit of makeup, all our dreams (and not even very interesting dreams) will come true.

What sort of message is this sending? Oh, you may be ugly, but it doesn't matter, buy some products and everything will be just fine? What's wrong with a society where the answer to high school problems is not hard work or perseverance, but products? Also, the whole fantasy is dependant on a guy. The message isn't "Become a great person and guys will love you for it", it's "Wait til some dude comes along to make you over". I think the becoming a more self confident person with skills would be a better thing to show young teens than that, but it wouldn't sell as many products would it?