Monday, November 01, 2004

At my school near a chapel or whatever, there were some candles you could light and put in sand. I tried, but the lighter was out of fluid. There was also some paintings, and a labyrith. This was for hopes of reconciliation of our divided country. I guess they were praying for reconciliation. It made me wonder. How can you reconcile with someone who doesn't want to reconcile with you? How can we have peace if people's ideologies don't end where our rights begin? We can all pray for peace, but do people care? Can we truly make this country a country for the benefit of everyone if we get tantrums every time we try to point out any flaw?

I hope for peace, redemption, reconciliation, and all other things. But in my heart, I can't forgive those who would want me to be second class. I can't forgive those who would sacrifice my life for their ideals. I don't know whether I could ever forgive. I simply somehow do not feel it's ok to let people hurt you, and get away with it. I just don't have a kind heart.

Like these chicks in my car pool were all like "They have weird names, LOL!!!!" and I wanted to be like smacking them in the face. I did actually say something, but it was much nicer than what I wanted to say. Seriously, who says that white folks gotta be the ones who determine what names are acceptable? If you don't have a white name, you should be laughed at? Like what the fuck?

I want to be like we're not your fucking servants. We determine for ourselves what we want to name our kids. But you know kids these days. They are too stupid to know somethings just aren't funny, just aren't jokes. That they have real consequences, that society is made of individual actions. Anyway, I want to be able to do something great. But I don't know what I want to do yet. I want to be a hero, and I want everyone else to be one too. I guess I'm just a weird person. But at least I'm not a fucking douche, who is too fucking stupid to understand that there's no law that we have to have stupid ass white names. Fuck you!


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