One may wonder why I am always ranting about race. It's not like I woke up one day, and just got obsessed with it. This is based on years of subtly building rage. In high school, I knew something was wrong, but didn't have the words for it. I mean, the way these people were whining, you'd think that 12 year old crack baby black kids were taking all the scholarships and jobs, but when you looked at actual information, more black kids were stuck wasting their talent in jail than in college, and while white kids could deal drugs up in the school house, black kids were going to jail for it. Not to mention, there was the dumbest incident in the world. Like the school said that people shouldn't wear Dixie Outfitters(i.e. confederate flag) shirts to school. In a sensible world, that would be a decent rule. I don't complain because I can't wear a shirt with a big fat swastika on it to school. But nooo, they were like 'if we don't get to wear Dixie Outfitters, they shouldn't be able to wear FUBU"

What the fuck?! I may not be the best person in the entire world, but there's a huge difference between a shirt company being like "fuck oppression, for black people, by black people' and "Let's oppress people by segregation and killing people". This was one of the starting points of my curiosity about their psyche. I mean seriously, how can one not know the difference between a historical symbol of hate, and people being like "You don't oppress me. I got my own company, yo"?!

Not to mention, people acting like slavery was a positive good because you're in america now, I first heard that as a kid, but didn't know what to say. Or people bitching about hate crimes laws because every crime was performed because of hate. I knew that was wrong, but not what to say about it. Also, I wonder if people who say that understand that they are campaigning for lynchings? I mean, that's what the law is against. Whether it's a lynching of a Mexican or an Asian, gay or trans we don't care.

Of course, there were more ambiguous things such as when my teacher in like 2nd grade thought I was lying when I had finished the test early, or the fact that plenty of smart kids were stuck in the dumb track, but I tried to be cheerful.

But now, in college, I can no longer feel that people grow out of being racist idiots. In the fall semester, both the n word incident(which wouldn't have been so bad if people didn't act like making her apologize was a huge punishment and that asking everyone to be polite would just ruin their lives) and the chemistry fiasco(which I'm a bit suspicious about- waaay suspicious. A lot of people aren't good at chemistry, but no one insults them for it- especially with no proof.) Over the summer, I read the newspaper, and there are a lot of fights I can understand now. The fuss over school consolidation(the city is black and the county is white, so instead of saving money by putting the schools together, they'll whine) for example. I dislike how blatant they are in their racism, when they think they are being slick. It's like just because you didn't say "I moved to the suburbs to escape the " (as my history teacher in hs, who is white reported being told by a neighbor), people can't clearly see your motives. wtf?

Maybe if you deceive yourself, you think you can deceive others? Anyway, it's really confusing and the fact that they defy logic is another reason why I am mad. Like the future and the past somehow aren't connected, there aren't any power differences in the world, and if you lie or make excuses, there aren't any effects of your actions,etc, all these white people logic things confuse the hell out of me! If they made any sense, my head wouldn't hurt, but they base their lives on these weird assumptions, unless they explore them and start having some sense, but that takes work...