I wonder if I'm not a little bit spiteful. I'm a nosy ass person. I want to know what everyone is saying and doing. It's a bad problem. So these girls were bitching about the white trash stereotype and talking about how like if their teacher had spent five minutes in their community etc etc(I'm probably messing this up- lack of context and all, bad memory, but everyone knows that memory is constantly changing) and on one hand, I felt kinda annoyed- like somehow that white trash stereotype bothers me- maybe it's classism that is bothering me and on the other hand, I was like hahahahaha, have a taste of my problem, which isn't very nice.

Then again, it's good that they actually might learn something- they were talking about the social construct of whiteness- but then again, I don't want people to have problems, but then again, you can't really learn somethings without a little bit of pain. It's important to sort of make a commitment to yourself to work hard to not be a total bastard, I think.

Like even if you'd rather think everything was all right, and that the world as it is is just- you still have to keep pushing, and trying to be a strong person. Anyway, one of the most important things we have to learn is that the world doesn't revolve around us- I mean that in the best way, the way that gives people power.

To me, there are several ways that every cliche can be taken. I conceptualize them as the 'right' and 'left' way, because I'm a political idiot. I'm a leftist, if you want to know. Like one way is the best meaning- the meaning that gives you strength, but the other one is the one that cuts you down and hurts you.

Like saying "the world doesn't revolve around you" when you are the one who is doing people wrong and hurting people with your self centeredness is helpful, but saying the same thing when you really need to break free of the prison of sacrificing yourself too much is hurtful.

So I guess context is important. I don't see why I can't concentrate on my schoolwork today. I have a test tomorrow. But I just can't concentrate. I want to be a psychologist, but I'm too much of a pussy, I guess. It'd be sad if I missed my profession because of my nerves. They've gotten a little stronger, but they are still weak. I sometimes just feel like I need to sleep for a week. I had a nice break this weekend, but it makes it even harder to read about gay ass neural tubes or stupid ass nativists and their dumb ass empiricist compatriots.

I should use better language, as one can't save the world without trying not to be such a fucking dumbass, but I'm a lazy ass git. But- there's one difference- if I'm too much of a dumb ass to stop using terrible language- you know what? I don't whine about fucking 'PC'. It's my own damn fault if I'm sexist rude and homophobic, god damn it, and if people don't like it- it's pretty obvious that I shouldn't be the one whining about how they were offended. I could not be a sexist ass motherfucker. So spare me that pussy ass shit ok?