Some ways to improve yourself:

1) Read something intelligent on the toilet. Some tips- if advertisments are seeping into the editorial content, it's not intelligent. Also, if the magazine thinks that "Kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity" is intelligent discourse- it's not intelligent.

2)Walk around the block or take the stairs instead of the elevator- It's the first step to good health! Notice I didn't say 'weight loss' I said good health. There's a reason for that.

3)Devote at least ten minutes to cleaning each day- my room used to be a total disaster til I started doing this, and now, it's clean!

4)Have fun at least once a day- Fun is said to be good for you! Yea, this is edging into pop excess here, isn't it?

5)Try not to be a giant asshole. Tip your waitress, try to avoid making fun of people for no good reason, and actually do kind things for others.

Well, I'm stopping here, but remember, uh..work hard or something.