How to Tell You're in a Toni Morrison Novel

Yes this is a Mallory Ortberg fanpost.

You walk into town. A plague of robins follows you.
You find out your family history by the song the children sing.
You are named after a Bibical character or a random object.
A aura of incest surrounds you.
Ghosts haunt you.

Pam...white folks need to grow up. If they want to go around doing horrible and mean things to people, they need to expect that other people will be angry about it. They need to either stop doing horrible things or stop bitching if people get mad at them for being douchebags. You can't have both.
[start uninformed commentary]
Also, there's minor transwank. But I don't get why anyone would think transfolk would as a body be any more enlightened than anyone else. We don't know yet what causes some folks to be trangendered, but there seems to have been a stable population of transfolk for a long time, and super psych folks are unable to change transfolks into cisfolks, so maybe it's biological or something. Who knows?
[end uninformed commentary]

People are actually doing their assignments.
which I am sooooooo not.

Now both milk and starbucks are rape. I call a moratorium on calling things 'ghetto'. Now, it's time for the mortgage post.

A major subprime lender flied for bankruptcy protection as many defaulted on their loans because of the lax rules for lending. NPR has been covering subprime lenders at least since last week. It seems that the disclosure rules were too complicated and the lenders too greedy. The ballooning of mortage rates has led to foreclosures that have put an Iraqi vet out of his house. Also, predatory lenders are putting the poor and minorities out of their houses, with their rates that go up after a certain time, making them unable to pay the payments. Immigrant families, already suffering from the problems of mixed status families, are also being put out of their houses by people who take advantage of language barriers.

Also, did you know that subprime credit card companies are out to rip you off? Just say no to people who benefit from a credit industry that gets rich off the poor!

I have two theories today. Twisty reminds us all that marriage manuals are full of crap. My theory is that if a woman who didn't previously hate blowjobs stops giving them after the baby, communication is the key. Men, talk to your wives/partners/etc, maybe they are feeling overworked, maybe they wish you'd take the baby at night so they could sleep, maybe they wish you'd wash the clothes. Encouraging women to not discuss their needs with their husbands is not a good idea. That's my theory.

My other theory is that teenage girls that want to be special need to be steered towards postive ways to make them feel special. Playing an awesome fucking guitar or drawing comics or some shit. Mental Health Professionals: They Don't Go Through Extensive Training for Kicks, You Know!